Parents livid single moo daughter is dating "out of her league" August 14, 2017 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,060 |
Re: Parents livid single moo daughter is dating "out of her league" August 14, 2017 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 232 |
Re: Parents livid single moo daughter is dating "out of her league" August 14, 2017 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,308 |
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happyhiker
Breeders will never grasp what their baggage does to their perceived value in the sexual market place and they will never understand that to other people their little angels are just that: Baggage. They should understand this perfectly, since they hate dating each other, but somehow they all think they are the exception.
Anyone who dates this woman is signing on to be with a woman who can't support herself, to take care of another man's kid and to put up with her scumbag ex who will never really be out of the picture because of said kid. Only a completely desperate loser would jump at that chance. It sounds like she's dating right square in the middle of her league. But, who knows, maybe an unemployed single father with a batshit crazy ex will come along someday. He'll be in her league as well, and perhaps more age-appropriate.
Re: Parents livid single moo daughter is dating "out of her league" August 14, 2017 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,198 |
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No. Just no. There are many reasons for caution, but the reason that should matter the most to all of you was revealed in an eight-year study published in 2005 by the American Academy of Pediatrics, which concluded: “Young children who reside in households with unrelated adults are at exceptionally high risk for inflicted-injury death. Most perpetrators are male, and most are residents of the decedent child’s household at the time of injury.” The study also noted that children residing with a single parent (and no unrelated adults in the household) are at NO increased risk.
Re: Parents livid single moo daughter is dating "out of her league" August 14, 2017 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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StudioFiftyFour
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happyhiker
Breeders will never grasp what their baggage does to their perceived value in the sexual market place and they will never understand that to other people their little angels are just that: Baggage. They should understand this perfectly, since they hate dating each other, but somehow they all think they are the exception.
Anyone who dates this woman is signing on to be with a woman who can't support herself, to take care of another man's kid and to put up with her scumbag ex who will never really be out of the picture because of said kid. Only a completely desperate loser would jump at that chance. It sounds like she's dating right square in the middle of her league. But, who knows, maybe an unemployed single father with a batshit crazy ex will come along someday. He'll be in her league as well, and perhaps more age-appropriate.
Why don't single parents simply date each other? They already have quite a bit in common, anyway.
Re: Parents livid single moo daughter is dating "out of her league" August 14, 2017 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,629 |
Re: Parents livid single moo daughter is dating "out of her league" August 15, 2017 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,308 |
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randomcfchick
I imagine single parents don't date each other much because they know that kids are a fuck-ton of work, and taking on more means even MORE work. They don't dare speak it aloud, but they don't want someone else's kids.
Re: Parents livid single moo daughter is dating "out of her league" August 15, 2017 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,629 |
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StudioFiftyFour
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randomcfchick
I imagine single parents don't date each other much because they know that kids are a fuck-ton of work, and taking on more means even MORE work. They don't dare speak it aloud, but they don't want someone else's kids.
And yet, when single childfree people express these same thoughts, they are portrayed as child-hating monsters.
Re: Parents livid single moo daughter is dating "out of her league" August 16, 2017 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 1,227 |
Re: Parents livid single moo daughter is dating "out of her league" August 16, 2017 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 1,104 |
Re: Parents livid single moo daughter is dating "out of her league" August 16, 2017 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 1,227 |
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cfinboston
She also said her boyfriend intends to pay rent, so I see no issue here beyond ageism and classism.
Re: Parents livid single moo daughter is dating "out of her league" August 16, 2017 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,198 |
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My parents, who were pushed away due to the control issues, jumped in and rescued me and my son. They are co-investors on my new house and wholeheartedly participate in my son’s life.
I have a new guy who surfaced at the time of my separation. He was going through a similar break-up. The new love has blossomed to a point where he is moving in. He is in is 50s, has three adult kids, two grandkids, and works as a laborer.
My parents are livid. They feel that I am making a bad choice. Financially I make much more than he does. It is not an issue with me, because he will pay rent. My parents have met him and feel he is no match for their daughter. They are taking a strong stance against the new guy, perhaps selling my co-investment home and limiting future finances. They see him as a freeloader and want me to find someone in my league
Re: Parents livid single moo daughter is dating "out of her league" August 16, 2017 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,308 |
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bell_flower
This is why I don't take money from my mom, so I can tell her to butt out of my life.
Re: Parents livid single moo daughter is dating "out of her league" August 19, 2017 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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StudioFiftyFour
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bell_flower
This is why I don't take money from my mom, so I can tell her to butt out of my life.
Good call.
I try to do the same even when it comes to small birthday or holiday gifts. People use that stuff for emotional blackmail. "What do you mean you won't help me move my piano... don't you remember when I sent you that fruit basket for Christmas?!?"
Ugh. I don't ever want to "owe" anyone anything for a "gift" that I didn't ask for in the first place.
Re: Parents livid single moo daughter is dating "out of her league" August 19, 2017 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 3,576 |
Re: Parents livid single moo daughter is dating "out of her league" August 20, 2017 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 880 |
Re: Parents livid single moo daughter is dating "out of her league" August 20, 2017 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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yummynotmummy
There's one housing project where I live where the moos have to sign no cohabitation clauses, they get affordable housing and loads of support, counselling etc, there's help for the kids as well, but they have to tell their keyworker if they date anyone and want to bring them into the house where the kids live and the project does police checks on them. We have a "right to know" rule here where when you get with someone you can check if they have any DV charges or convictions on their record. If one of the moos is dating a known abuser they get a straight choice - get rid or get out and risk losing your children. Some people hate this project and cry about the moos' rights, but I think it's doing a good job of protecting vulnerable women from themselves, really, especially if they've had multiple abusive partners. It's basically saying you can live here and have this shit low cost or free, we will help you but you have to help yourself. They are really strict, no unrelated overnight guests without permission and nobody with any convictions for any violent offences is allowed even on the property.
It does seem like they are treating the women like kids, but in effect a lot of them do still think like children - they may have been abused themselves and therefore their own emotional development is arrested and they often don't have the discretion or judgement skills to differentiate an asshole from a non-asshole. And it's about keeping the kids safe and giving them a chance to stay with the non-abusing parent. A lot of these girls and women actually need some "parenting" themselves.