Great pets for people with young, school age children

As some of you know, I just adopted a beautiful little ten-year old cockatiel. I've named her Leah, and she's absolutely the sweetest little thing you can imagine. She was surrendered twice to the pet store, her first owners kept her in a cage that was way too small for her, never allowed her to go out, never fed her a decent diet, and gave her sandpaper perches which is awful for their feet.

After keeping her locked up for nine years, you guessed it - they surrendered her because they didn't have time for her because 'their children were getting older and they lost interest'. This infuriates me to no end. The second people who adopted her kept her only for six months before surrendering her AGAIN because they changed their mind and didn't want to care for her.

Now, I have this little sweetheart. She is the most timid, soft little creature I've encountered in a long time. She loves sitting on my shoulder, whistling at herself in the mirror, listening to music, and getting head rubs.

What angers me to NO END is that when I was reading up information on cockatiels, guess what? They make GREAT pets for people with school-aged kids! They aren't too small, so they can be manhandled, they are gentle birds, which means those precious, precious sprogs won't get injured when they pull her tail or slap at her.

What I understand about Leah is that her previous BREEDER owners couldn't care less about her, and now she's severely malnourished and could have died if they hadn't given her up to the pet store. The second people who adopted her? I don't know if they are breeders or not, but they did a cruel, cruel thing to her. I'm so glad that I can give her a forever home now because she deserves it.

She's had her first taste of freedom in my house, and she loves it. Her door is never closed, and she can go in and out as she pleases. There are no dogs or cats here to harass her, and especially NO kidz because she couldn't handle that kind of stress.

I feel like writing to the dude who wrote that stupid, stupid article, just to let them know that birds do NOT make good first-time pets for brats. They are delicate creatures that require a lot of care and attention.

If you guys are interested in seeing a photo of Leah, I posted one in the Yard on my Solarium thread. You can see how ruffled her feathers are from years of sitting in a cage that was way too small for her, and she looks a little worse for wear in the photo, but every day that I have her she looks better and better.

I have a brand, new cage for her, and she absolutely loves it. Breeders make me SICK, and so do the fucking assholes that pander to them.

If your kid wants a pet, get them a stuffed animal. That way, when it goes into the microwave, it won't really matter.

I feel like NO animals make good pets for brats, at least not until they are of an age to be able to comprehend the proper way of taking care of a pet and even then not without supervision pretty much at all times. I'm glad Leah now has a much better home. Breeders suck.

Especially with today's special snowflakes? I wouldn't even trust them with an earthworm for a pet.

There's no such thing as a good pet for a child, but especially not exotics, which I think is pretty much anything that isn't a cat or a dog. Birds are delicate critters - they have wings and legs that can easily be injured and they also have sharp beaks and claws they aren't afraid to use when threatened that can break the skin. I'm not saying they're dangerous, but just that any pet that would be considered a "prey" animal is one that will probably be more prone to defending itself compared to a cat or a dog, which can tolerate more shit and more abuse compared to a rabbit, hamster or bird. All it takes is a pet scratching or biting Junior for Moo to go into Mama Bear mode and beat the poor animal to a pulp.

Part of me would like to see what bird ownership is like because I do like birds, but I've always been afraid that I couldn't give a parrot or parakeet or canary or what-not proper care, either because I don't know what the fuck I'm doing or because I can't afford what it needs (including vet care because there are no exotics vets where I live). But that's just the thing - parents don't think that much... or at all, for that matter. They decide they want to get their kid what they figure is an interactive toy or their kid points at an animal and says "GIMME!" and the spineless parents get it for them. Whoever sells them the animal won't give a shit if it's going to a good home because odds are they just want to make a sale. The family gets tired of the animal very quickly, then they start manhandling it because it's become an annoyance and then they either throw it out the door or give it to a shelter. Frankly, I'm shocked that your bird's previous owners could even be bothered to surrender the poor little critter to a proper shelter instead of letting it loose outside.

I am inclined to agree. I am more of a cat person myself, one of my babies was adopted from my old neighborhood when her previous owners. Who were some of the scummiest breeders I ever came across, abandoned her. It was horrible how bony and feeble she was, when I got her. I was freaking furious!!!

When she came strictly indoors, I could see the confusion on her face. She was safe with toys, a bed and food. Plus boy did she love the snot out of my living room carpet. It was a whole new world for her.

I wouldn't trust one of the little crap factories with a pet rock, let alone anything living.

Ugh, so glad Leah has a nice home with you now, MO6B. Poor thing is probably pretty stunned about her nice new digs and nice new humans. Birds aren't good kid pets. They're too delicate, kids have a hard time learning their body language, and parents aren't gonna bother finding a vet who takes exotics, so the bird won't get regular care.

In general I think parents are too willing to cave in about pets for their kids. Pets should be for the family, not the kid...and primarily, the pet should be for the parent, especially when kids are little. Sure, kids can learn responsibility by helping under tight supervision...scoop the litter box, take the dog for a walk, siphon the fish tank, etc. But the parent should be willing to step up and care for the pet...and love that critter.

I've also had this conversation with far too many adults:

Me: "Oh, you have a (type of pet)? Neat!"
Parent: "Yeah, it's Junior's, really. I don't like 'em, myself."
Me: "How's Junior doing with (pet)?"
Parent: "Well, he's not as careful/responsible/attentive as he should be yet. Spouse says to give it more time and he's still learning, but I'm ready to take it to the pound in a month if (pet) is still (insert behavior here)."

WHY are these parents allowing their kid to get a pet they don't really like themselves? Don't like dogs? Kid won't die if you don't get one. Trust me, I made it out of the nest just fine. Neither of my parents really like dogs and didn't want one around, so we didn't get one. Yeah, I kept lobbying for one, but Ma and Pa Random stuck to their guns. I turned out a well-adjusted, animal-loving adult. And I respect and admire my parents for sticking to their no-dog policy. Their house...they got to decide who lived in it.

My dog came from some neglectful breeders. She was covered in fleas, not spayed, positive for heartworms and neurotic from being left alone outside 24/7/365. I want someone to treat those people the way they treated her! Breeders should never be allowed to adopt ANY pet. She was a Christmas puppy for the kids who grew into a huge dog (who could have predicted?) and was no longer fun for the kids.

The good news is she is fully recovered from the heartworms and the neurosis. Now she's a happy, healthy INDOOR dog who loves my kitties and is so well-behaved that I can take her anywhere dogs are allowed. She's so sweet and protective that she would have been a perfect family dog if they had let her be a part of the family.

Random, I have someone in my family like that who bought her daughter a conure. Nobody likes the conure, but they refuse to give her to me because the daughter likes it, but it has several behavioral problems. I've begged for her to call me, and I'd give her some advice where conures are concerned, but she hasn't. I suspect the bird is being neglected now.

I'm so fucking mad at people who purchase these animals for their kids, only to neglect and / or abuse it later. Leah was trapped in a tiny cage for nearly ten years. She has already been out this morning, munching on some goodies I put for her on top of the cage. She's been singing to the music in the living room. I put the oldies station on for her, because she seems to like it.

I could just scream at this particular family member, because I know the bird isn't happy. She bites everyone and now they hate her. They don't know how to work with exotic pets. They just think that a bird is something pretty that you buy, but they don't understand the hard work and patience it takes to raise a happy one. Conner's an example of a happy bird.

Now, while I'm studying, I have Leah on my shoulder and Conner on my lap. They are perfect study buddies for me, and they don't bug me at all.

I had my first budgie given to me by my Oma as a Christmas gift one year when I was in grade 3. I took an interest in him, but did not handle him until he finally came to me one day. After that, we couldn't be separated. He was my best buddy.

It's the typical breeder mentality at work here, folks...pets aren't important, but they are there to entertain the brats, even if the pet isn't liked.

Cambion, if you ever do decide to get a pet bird, you can PM me and I will give you the benefit of some of my understanding about them. I know you are probably not in the place to have one now, but who knows? Maybe sometime in the future you may have the ability to work with one. One thing for sure, is once you give your love to a pet bird, they are your friend for life.

I totally cringe when I see the humane society photos of the cats and dogs that they adopt to families with toddlers and/or young kids! I also see all these "cyoot" ads on TV with little kids dumping their stuffed animals into toilets! I mean--what do you THINK is going to happen to those live pets! My darling little pibble/doxie mix came back to the shelter twice--ate least once because she "jumped up on the kids and knocked them over". Translation--breeders couldn't be bothered to train the kids OR the dog!

happyhiker, I'm so glad you and your dog crossed paths. Poor thing finally gets to have a good life now. I hope she didn't waste too much of hers stuck in that yard. Oh, and let me guess...she was turfed outside as soon as she passed from the cute-puppy-toddling-around stage to the high-energy-puppy-who-tests-limits stage. A lot of parents who've never raised a puppy seem surprised that dogs go through an obnoxious tween stage, too.

MO6B, the family members with the conure just give me a headache. They got an animal they don't like, and thus don't expect their kid to interact/socialize with it properly...so the behavior issues develop...and they like the animal even less...it's a self-perpetuating circle. And they're refusing your help in training/socializing/educating the bird (and the kid, really, because pet owners need to be trained). It's like they WANT everyone to be unhappy. So weird.

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randomcfchick
happyhiker, I'm so glad you and your dog crossed paths. Poor thing finally gets to have a good life now. I hope she didn't waste too much of hers stuck in that yard. Oh, and let me guess...she was turfed outside as soon as she passed from the cute-puppy-toddling-around stage to the high-energy-puppy-who-tests-limits stage. A lot of parents who've never raised a puppy seem surprised that dogs go through an obnoxious tween stage, too.

You got it. They got her from a breeder (probably a puppy mill) to have the Kodak moment of an adorable yellow Lab puppy for Christmas and then, I guess, assumed she would stay a tiny puppy.

I had never had a dog, so I got a couple of books and watched some videos (free on YouTube). There is no excuse for being surprised by anything. The techniques in the books worked perfectly on an older dog and a cat lady with no experience, so all these asshats returning pets to the shelter for misbehavior can die in a fire.

My sister judges the quality of dog books by checking their lists of "good with children" breeds. If they list Scottish Terriers as a good choice for children, she knows the book is crap (she's had Scotties for years).

IMO, when a breed is widely considered "good with children," it means the dog will endure heaps of abuse without retaliation. Not exactly a classification with the benefit of the dog in mind.

kittehpeoples, I do the same with cat books/websites. If they list the Turkish Van as a good "family pet", I pretty much write off everything else. I had a rescue kitty that we eventually figured out was clearly nearly 100 percent Turkish Van--her coat was a little bushier, and she was a little small for a Van, so I referred to her as a Turkish Minivan. But her temperament was very true to breed--affectionate and social, wanted to be around her people but not into being picked up or held. Turkish Vans don't have the patience for children & don't like sudden noise, chaos, etc.

Ditto for Siamese. They often bond to one person, and that's it. If they're well socialized and exposed to a lot of respectful people, they will be just reserved with strangers. If they're not well socialized, it can sometimes be "this is my person, the rest of you can go fuck yourselves". Not all Siamese are like that, but it happens a fair bit. Little kids won't understand that Mom or Dad is the cat's person and that's it.

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randomcfchick
I referred to her as a Turkish Minivan.

That's hilarious!

I had a cat who was a very one-person pet, and I'm just lucky she decided to pick me. I had a niece who adored cats and wanted to be friends with her so much, and it really upset her that the cat didn't like her. I can't imagine how tormented my cat would have felt living with such a child.

Scottish terriers, on the other hand, will fucking kill someone they don't like if they possibly can. My sister belongs to different dog and Scottie groups, so she's heard and seen some of the devastation they can wreak. One family had a Scottie who pretty much ruled the house because they didn't socialize her properly, and she decided the family's son was "her person." He got old enough to start dating and made the mistake of bringing one of his dates home. The dog got jealous and attacked the girlfriend. She had to have surgery to repair the damage to her face, including replacing a tear duct. Really lucky she didn't lose the eye. I've seen my sister's dogs get defensive of her; they're small, but they mean business, and have the equivalent bite of a German Shepherd. But people see the cute little doggy and never consider that such a small animal could put them completely out of their depth.

I'm really happy that you adopted this little dear and saved her life. She sounds like a sweetie. I don't think people read up on birds before adopting them. Is she gaining weight yet?

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freya
I'm really happy that you adopted this little dear and saved her life. She sounds like a sweetie. I don't think people read up on birds before adopting them. Is she gaining weight yet?

Her muscle mass looks like it has increased in her wings from flying a bit, and her feathers look much smoother and healthier. She's able to groom now, so she's really taken an interest in it and she looks a lot less ruffled. She loves her new food, and eats a LOT. Her dish was empty yesterday morning, and I filled it to the brim.

Husband and I figure it'll take around a month for her to be the proper weight. She's also very social, which is great, because she will come out of her house if she's coaxed gently. Once she's out, she loves it! It's a slow process to bring a bird back from near death, but every day she's looking a lot better.

I think proportionately Scotties have the biggest mouth around. And they do have their quirks about what and who they like/dislike.
I was in a pet store once, and they had baby cockatiels in a box that was open. I put my hand down, just as an invite, see what they would do. All except one just sidled away. They weren't freaked out, just cautious. Not one little fellow. he walked right over, up my arm, and settled on my shoulder. He WANTED to be my bird. However, I couldn't accommodate him as I had cats at home, I would not endanger him by doing that because he was a 'shoulder' bird. I finally had to go and so attached was he, he kept sidling from one shoulder to the other to stay with me. I just hope he found a good home. never forgotten that little bird.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

Mother told me that barn cats were good for teaching manners to a child.
I grew up on farms in the 1950s.

The bottom line is that when you decide to get a pet, you need to be alert to what the pet wants and needs. Just as in humans, there is wide variation among particular animals. Just because something is "a dog," aka "man's best friend" it doesn't mean that all dogs will be a particular way. Same with cats.

Side tangent; let me preach on it: I volunteer with reputable organizations and I am always fostering cats on the side. It never ceases to amaze me how clueless people are and they don't even consider the feelings of the animal when it comes to their home. They are only thinking of THEMSELVES and WHAT THEY WANT. Example: I placed a cat in a (CL) home one time where the owner acted just like any clueless breeder. She whined to me, "he keeps hiding all the time" when he FIRST got there. (Later on, he hid because one of her cats was bullying him. And yes, I took him back and found him a good home.)

We have a cat who was dumped in a remote area with his siblings as a kitten. I caught his two siblings but he was absolutely terrified and traumatized by the whole experience. After I went back there for weeks and after I finally caught him, I ended up keeping him because he was sick and needed special care. This can ran from my husband for TWO YEARS. TWO YEARS. My husband didn't force the issue, just talked to the cat and let him be. Now my husband is this cat's person, mostly because my husband sits down more than I do. The cat is all over my husband when he watches TV or sleeps on the couch.

If this poor cat had gone to a Breeder household were unattended kid(s) were allowed to chase him around all the time because MUST HAVE CAT MUST "PLAY" WITH CAT MUST FORCE MYSELF ON CAT REGARDLESS OF HOW CAT FEELS ABOUT IT , the poor cat would have been miserable.

I'm not saying it can't be done. I grew up in a family that had cats and dogs since I was a baby. They added a lot to my life as a child. But I had a militant parent who watched us like hawks and required us to treat them with dignity and respect.

But that requires actually being a parent, and that doesn't exist these days. From what I can see these days, no family should have a pet without references and demonstrated responsibility and no pet should be placed in a home with kids under 10. But this will never happen because there are too many cats and dogs, also due to irresponsible humans who don't spay their pets.

I have the best idea for "animals" for crotchfruit:

Stuffed toy animals.

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khan
Mother told me that barn cats were good for teaching manners to a child.
I grew up on farms in the 1950s.

Makes sense to me. I've met some cats who were as polite as little aristocrats.
I think an overall respect for animals is important to learn before having pets. They all need to be approached on
their own terms.

That makes my BLOOD BOIL when I see breeders in the pet shop looking at birds for their brats or they surrender the poor things because they got knocked up. They are sensitive, intelligent creatures. I recently lost one of my cockatiel babies, she was 17.

I am so glad Leah is with you now!

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Shrieking babbies are the most effective birth control on earth.

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Dingo8YourBaby
That makes my BLOOD BOIL when I see breeders in the pet shop looking at birds for their brats or they surrender the poor things because they got knocked up. They are sensitive, intelligent creatures. I recently lost one of my cockatiel babies, she was 17.

I am so glad Leah is with you now!

I am so sorry to hear that. My condolences to you for the loss of your sweet baby!

Nearly everything about breeders disgusts me lately, but the pet thing is one thing I just can't stand.

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twocents
I think proportionately Scotties have the biggest mouth around. And they do have their quirks about what and who they like/dislike.

They have the equivalent jaw/bite of a German Shepherd, and since they're terriers, once they lock on they don't let go until they decide to.

People who have pets should not have children until the pets have passed, period. There is no early stage of childhood where the kid is safe for the pet. We used to have an in-law with a relative who put down her 12 year old (old, but healthy) dog that she'd had all his life because the dog and their kid "didn't get along." What kind of monster can do something like that? What kind of monster would ask her to (dear hubby)? I'm sure together those "parents" raised a sterling member of society.

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freya

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khan
Mother told me that barn cats were good for teaching manners to a child.
I grew up on farms in the 1950s.

Makes sense to me. I've met some cats who were as polite as little aristocrats.
I think an overall respect for animals is important to learn before having pets. They all need to be approached on
their own terms.

Very well put. The Turkish Minivan I mentioned upthread was a shy one, prone to being nervous about changes and new people. That was just her, not the breed. She took a long time to warm up, but was very sweet and playful once she trusted you. She would have been neurotic and miserable if she'd wound up with a BNP family, because the adults wouldn't have gotten that animals have their own personalities and priorities. Hell, she probably would have had trouble in any household with little kids, even if the kids were taught to respect her and let her do her thing. She wouldn't have liked the general noise and unpredictability, even if the kids let her be.

The one friend who was able to pet that cat right off the bat is one who gets that about animals. She deals with them on their terms. The cat was sitting on her cat tree and Friend walked up all "Oh, this must be Minivan, hi girl." and just gently petted and scritched her for quite a bit. The cat was pretty content, and then it was like the cat realized "Oh shit, I don't know you!" and bolted. It was actually pretty funny. Not sure why she accepted that friend's overture, but if we were out of town, Friend was our go-to for cat sitting, because she was one of the few that the Turkish Minivan accepted.