Being made to create loaf shower posters

My aunt approached me yesterday and asked/told me to make posters for a loaf shower the family is throwing for my cousin's pigged-up wife. This is the same cousin I mentioned in a semi-recent topic of mine who got his wife knocked up on the fucking honeymoon (I can only assume when her due date is 10 months exactly from their wedding date).

I don't even know this woman! I really don't want to do this stupid shit, but I know my aunt won't take no for an answer. Case in point, she asked me to make posters for her son's birthday and I didn't have time due to needing to finish a big project at work on a short deadline, meaning I had to take it home to work on it the very week she insisted I make fucking posters.

I managed to get one thing done and was about to head off to a friend's place for the weekend because we had plans. I dropped off the thing I did finish and was about to leave when Aunt asked where the posters were, and when I said I didn't have time to make them, she pretty much demanded that I put my plans on hold indefinitely in order to make spur-of-the-moment posters. My having absolutely no supplies didn't stop her either – she told me to go to the craft store to buy some, bring them home, make posters and deliver them. I wound up being several hours late to my friend's place because of this.

As another aside, Aunt took it upon herself to bitch at me for getting a speeding ticket. She wouldn't have known otherwise, but the thing is any time I need something mailed to a physical address, I have it sent to folks I know in town. Aunt lives in the house directly next to them and sometimes she gets some of my mail by accident and one thing she got was the receipt for my speeding fine (which I had sent there to avoid a lecture from the maternal unit), which, as you can probably guess, she went right ahead and opened. Cue a lecture about how bad of a person I am, I should be ashamed for driving so fast, your safety and life and others' safety and lives are sacred, blah blah bullshit bullshit bullshit. For fuck's sake, it was a speeding ticket. I didn't commit vehicular manslaughter.

Come to think of it, I may have figured out why I never received some (ahem) family unfriendly items I had sent to that physical address. They probably got delivered to Aunt by accident, she opened them and then threw them away. I wondered why those things showed up as “delivered” and I never got them.

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But anyway, after she gives me an earful about a measly speeding ticket, she tells me I need to make posters for Cousin's wife's loaf shower. Mind you, I'm not being compensated for any of this. She'll be nice enough to pay me back for any supplies I need, but for my actual efforts sketching, drawing, gluing, cutting, painting and so on? Not a fuckin' dime.

I can't say I don't want to do it because that won't be a good enough reason and I'll get guilt-tripped. I can't say I'm busy or have plans because she'll say I have plenty of time or make me throw something half-assed together at the very last second. And I really don't want to go to this goddamn shower either because I don't give a shit! Not to mention that my mother still loathes her relatives and still thinks I don't talk to them at all, so on top of all that, I have to try and find a place in the house where I can hide these things and if they're drying, there aren't a lot of places I can put them without wrecking them.

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I just needed to vent. This is so fucking frustrating - I really don't want to make something in celebration of a loaf being born because I don't feel it's something worthy of a celebration at all. I don't even know what the fuck to make and I've got about two weeks to figure out what to do and get it done.

Opening someone's mail or throwing it away without their permission is super illegal. Also you dont have to make these posters, especially since you're not being paid. You sound miserable about the issue. Don't let Auntie guilt you into doing something that will make you so miserable.

I would draw condoms with the caption "Don't you wish you had used THIS?" or a beautiful scene from Paris with the caption "Congratulations! This poster is the closest you will ever get to see Paris!".

Yeah I would have fun in the most passive/aggressive way possible just to keep them from asking again.

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"It is better not to look like what you are; it is better to look like a bourgeois woman because then all the doors are open for you and then you can just go and make hell." - Marjane Satrapi

"I'd be happy to make these items if my schedule permits. My normal rate is $X, but I'm willing to give you a 20% discount because you're family. I need half up-front, and half after delivery."

I agree with Yurble. Never provide services for free, especially those who will not take "No" for an answer. If their expectation is that you're going to drop everything for their stupid posters/announcements/whatever when you didn't even want to in the first place, then they're going to damn well pay for it. If they don't want to pay, they get nothing. Don't do anything until you get at least half of the fee upfront.

Hell, your stupid aunt can't even pay you in "exposure," the usual excuse for assholes to expect free goods and services, so what leverage does she have?

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"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

Fuck that noise. If you make anything, and I wouldn't, make a single poster that says 'nobody gives a shit about the baby.' You'll be cured from having to deal with her again.
Also, as to the ticket, fuck her. I live in Fl, where there are a ton of senile old people who should NOT be driving. Speeding is not even close to the worst thing you can do. These people run stop signs, pull out in front of you when there isn't space {so you have to slam your breaks not to hit them}, and drive, I kid you not 40-50 on a 75MPH highway, which can lead to people passing them on opposite sides. At least you aren't oblivious to your surroundings as you leave a trail of accidents behind you.

Lock him up or put him down.
Stolen from Shiny.

Cambion, you're not required to make her the loaf posters. Let her attempt to guilt trip you. So what? She can only guilt trip you if you let her, if you let her words get to you. I've had siblings and parents attempt to guilt trip, shame, and otherwise manipulate me to get me to do what they want. But I've stood up to them for years, and they've stopped now. When manipulative people realize that their words have no influence, then they will stop. But you have to show them that they cannot affect you.

And I agree with Yurble. Tell them your going rate and requirements. If they refuse to pay, then they don't get the work. I did that to my relatives, plus gas and mileage charges. You'd be surprised how fast they decided they didn't need the services, if said services weren't free.

Yurble's response is perfect. Don't let her use you for free labor. Remember, setting boundaries doesn't mean everyone will like it, but your first obligation is to yourself. You need to protect yourself from people who want to use and abuse you.

This reminds me a lot of the entitled batshit-insane woman from another forum who wanted family members to sign up for shifts to help her with her baby. Remember that one? Here's the famous thread:

http://www.refugees.bratfree.com/read.php?2,147803,page=1

Which shift do you want for the baby?

Cambion, watch out, it's free posters today, and free babysitting tomorrow. Mark these words. Now say no to these stupid demands.

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Hell, your stupid aunt can't even pay you in "exposure," the usual excuse for assholes to expect free goods and services, so what leverage does she have?

Her leverage is "it's faaaaaaamily" and also that it'll be the first loaf born to one of the "kids" in the family (when I say "kids", I just mean the youngest members of the immediate family, which is myself and my cousins). She already knows I'll do the goddamn things because I've done posters for her damn kid's birthday for no pay and she'll be insisting on knowing why I'd do that and not these. This is why I hate having artistic skill. People want me to do stupid shit for them.

I don't even know if I'm going to legitimately have time for them. We're going to be losing someone at work next week and I don't even know if they've got a replacement yet and we're probably going to be busy in general anyway, which means up to 2 hours of overtime a night. When I made posters before, I didn't have a job and could devote hours and hours at a time to them. Depending on how much overtime I have to work in the coming couple of weeks, I may not have more than an hour or two a day that I'm willing to spend working on them (I do like to kick back and just chill for a bit after work).

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Also, as to the ticket, fuck her. I live in Fl, where there are a ton of senile old people who should NOT be driving. Speeding is not even close to the worst thing you can do. These people run stop signs, pull out in front of you when there isn't space {so you have to slam your breaks not to hit them}, and drive, I kid you not 40-50 on a 75MPH highway, which can lead to people passing them on opposite sides. At least you aren't oblivious to your surroundings as you leave a trail of accidents behind you.

Unfortunately, of all my relatives, my aunt is probably one of the worst ones who could have found out I got a speeding ticket. She's been campaigning and screaming and going to the local media for years now (at least 15 or so) about people speeding in our town. She's become an anti-speeding warrior who I'm sure the police and town council hate by now because she constantly calls them and attends meetings to bitch about speeders. So my speeding is probably right up there with killing someone in her mind.

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Opening someone's mail or throwing it away without their permission is super illegal.

Oh I know, I'm well aware. I think Aunt just saw something from a courthouse with my name on it and assumed I was in legal trouble, so she just helped herself. Thankfully she just got my receipt and not the actual sheet with the fine on it that I had to mail back to the courthouse with payment. Because if I never received that (she never gave me the receipt she opened, by the way) and never sent it in, I would have had my license suspended and possibly a warrant out for my arrest.

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Cambion, watch out, it's free posters today, and free babysitting tomorrow. Mark these words. Now say no to these stupid demands.

Thankfully, my cousin and his pigged-up wife live several hours away, so I seriously doubt I'd be doing any loaf-sitting. And who knows, maybe her knowing about my ticket will make her think I'm too irresponsible to be trusted with a child.

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Cambion
She already knows I'll do the goddamn things because I've done posters for her damn kid's birthday for no pay and she'll be insisting on knowing why I'd do that and not these. This is why I hate having artistic skill. People want me to do stupid shit for them.

I don't even know if I'm going to legitimately have time for them. We're going to be losing someone at work next week and I don't even know if they've got a replacement yet and we're probably going to be busy in general anyway, which means up to 2 hours of overtime a night. When I made posters before, I didn't have a job and could devote hours and hours at a time to them.

She needs to mind her own business. You're an adult and a speeding ticket in a sealed envelope is 100% your business. And no to be obligated to do stupid shit for others. They pay you and then they treat you like a professional and with respect! The way she treated you previously is abhorrent and she needs a serious clue on respect and boundaries. She isn't owed anything and you aren't obligated in any way.

It is fine if you want to do artwork and offer a friends and family discount or not. Or you could trade services if someone else has a marketable skill which will benefit you. It is also fine to say no. You deserve better than this Cambion. I'm sorry you have to deal with this treatment. There are people in the world who would never ever treat you like this.

Oh, don't get me started with the skinflint attitude people have toward creative work. People's time and effort are valuable, materials cost money, show respect and fuckin' PAY! Ugh. I have never, ever expected free stuff from artist friends. A few have made things for me as presents, but other than that I go with money in hand if I approach them about something.

I sincerely hope that you're able to draw and maintain that boundary with your aunt. Short of some kind of near-death experience, she's not gonna change her tune.

My approach would be similar to yurble's: "My rate for that size poster is X, and if you want (extra fancy shit), It'll be X+Y. I'll need at least (certain time frame notification) to finish it." If she pitches a fit about 'family' and all, don't give an inch. Any tantrums or attempts at manipulation that may follow are about HER, not you.

Stick to your guns. Your skill and talent are not there for others to use and abuse at their whim.

Tell her you don't have time and that you'll report her to the police for opening your mail and disposing of your possessions if she doesn't drop the issue.