Meh, it's just a disability. The birth experience is what's important (Mariella)

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/sep/03/my-nephew-is-disabled-and-its-all-his-mothers-fault-mariella-frostrup

A woman writes in, pissed off because her SIL chose to have a vaginal delivery after a previous c-section, against the advice of the doctors, resulting in the baby becoming disabled. Mariella tells her it's none of her business and she's overwrought because she's throwing around accusations like "abuse".

The comments are pretty evenly divided. Half agree with Mariella and think the parents were entitled to take the risk, and the other half point out that it is the child who will have to live with this disability for the rest of his life, and that concern should be for the child's quality of life and not the mother's experience.

What floors me is that Mariella talks about a 2% chance like it's nothing. If something had a 1 in 50 chance of severely injuring me, I wouldn't do it unless the alternative was even worse. That is not a negligible risk, it's well above what you'd expect for a safe procedure.

The worst part is where Mariella says the doctors could not have predicted the outcome. Yes they could have...which is why they told her to have the baby at the hospital.

She really goes off on the OP, doesn't she?

Realistically, in these days of social media, any hint of criticism of Moo not listening to her doctor would have resulted in Facebook sharing and Mariella would have been shouted down by the crunchy home birth crowd. Perhaps people would have stopped reading her column over it.

Just can't criticize the Holy Moo even when they are wrong. Mariella is quoting a 2% statistic that applies to the general population. There were particular circumstances in this case and the woman's doctor knew best. but Bessie didn't want to listen.

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cfinboston
The worst part is where Mariella says the doctors could not have predicted the outcome. Yes they could have...which is why they told her to have the baby at the hospital.

It pisses me off that uninformed parental "feeling" is considered just as valid as the views of a trained medical professional - vaccines and risky births are just two examples. And then when there are consequences, as there often are, nobody holds them accountable for their pigheaded ignorance. Imagine if someone tried that shit in some other walk of life: "Well, many people are of the opinion that driving while intoxicated is a bad idea, but I feel that my driving becomes better...and that's why I should not be tried for manslaughter."

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bell_flower
Just can't criticize the Holy Moo even when they are wrong. Mariella is quoting a 2% statistic that applies to the general population. There were particular circumstances in this case and the woman's doctor knew best. but Bessie didn't want to listen.

That's worse than I thought, I was already thinking a 2% risk requires a damn good reason.

You know what? I wouldn't do something that had a 2% risk of severely disabling a stranger, let alone someone I care about, just for funsies.

I hope she feels great about disabling her loaf just so she could sluice it through her cooter. I hope she's real proud.

How dare anyone judge the Holy Moo for endangering her child's life and risking serious disablement. She deserves udder rubs and compassion!

Oh no wait...I'm judging. Moo had a choice to have the child safely and she rejected it in favour of putting it at risk for her own selfish reasons. Yeah, I'm judging that. Sorry not sorry.

Also, Moo could have not had any more kids if she didn't want any more c sections. Radical idea.

I think anyone including moos should be allowed to do whatever they want with their bodies...HOWEVER, they need to learn to live with the fact that if they know the facts and still take an unnecessary risk, then yeah, it's their fucking fault if their kyd ends up gorked. Own your decision and stop making fucking excuses.

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Nobody could have predicted such an eventuality, not even the doctor and, although you feel strongly that they made the wrong decision, it’s one that was theirs alone to make and then to live with the consequences.

Uhh, yeah they could have. Because they did. Having a vaginal delivery after a previous C-section is always considered very risky because of the heightened chance of complications, which can include the uterus rupturing along the surgery scar. And it's not just the breeders who have to live with the consequences of their neglect - the kid who didn't ask to be born will now have to grow up disabled because Mommy's desire to be an all-natural broodmare was more important than her child's well-being.

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Why should it enrage you that they took a small risk and paid a very high price?

Maybe because she loves her nephew and wanted him to come out healthy, but because his mother decided to be a selfish cunt for a little while to fulfill her own breeder agenda, he's going to struggle for the rest of his life in a best-case scenario. I don't know just how profoundly disabled the kid is. He might need life-long care because he could be too fucked-up to be independent.

I expected a much more intelligent response from an advice columnist. It might be the writer's nephew (rather than their own child), but I don't think it's unreasonable to be upset with the brain-dead parents for causing a completely preventable disability all because they wanted to go against medical advice and be selfish. Just because that two percent chance of problems is small doesn't mean you're too special to be among that percentage.

The writer mentions that her brother has cut off contact with her because she's being meeeeeean, but I guarantee you anything after a few months of wrangling a special needs loaf, he'll be right quick to reconnect so he can have someone to dump the kid on for free.

This is only further proof that inpigness and sluicing is only for the moo. It has nothing to do with the loaf. If she truly cared, she would have followed the doctor's orders and not sluiced through her hotdog chute.

I hope she winds up with a cooter that hits the floor, shits walnut sized turds (thanks, kidlesskim!) and stinks so bad that they can smell her in Timbuktu.

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mumofsixbirds
I hope she feels great about disabling her loaf just so she could sluice it through her cooter. I hope she's real proud.

Not to mention ripping said cooter to smithereens.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!