Tomorrow is loaf visiting day

Yes, tomorrow is the day that Nephew and Harpi will be here with the toadler/loaf (she's a year old) I don't look forward to any contact with these people...so I am feeling a bit anxious. Dh inisists we see them for a few hours a day just 2 or 3 times a year. Guess I can do that much... but I don't have to like it. Think of me... will ya? I gotta eat lunch with them and if that kyd fusses or starts smeering food all over then I am going to make some kind of exit. Eh... I'll tell you all about it when it's over. Looking forward to the rest of the week to myself as dh returns to work and I am off the rest of the week.

I was privy to a phone convo with dh and Nephew this evening. He was saying they would be here a bit later tomorrow because they BOTH have Dr. appointments. He has high cholesterol and she has a heart issue. They have doctor appts on their day off... just about every week. They're in their mid 30's. We're in our mid 60's and don't do the 'doctor and lunch' routine that a lot of my friends do. AND... they are talking about ANOTHER KID!! I overheard this and uncontrollably yelled from across the kitchen. "Let the kid be an only child ! One and done! 'Only' is good!"
From his tone of voice... I think Nephew was I agreement. I hope he's seeing the light. Kyds'll kill ya!

So dh asked nephew what was wrong with Harpi's heart. Nephew said something about a murmer or skipping beats or fluttering... adding "nobody's heart is perfect"
I could not resist again. I yelled "mine is and I'm twice her age" (seriously.. last check.. my heart is in great shape)

If that chic has another sprog.... not to mention they still can't seem to make ends meet.... they are totally nuts.

Woke up with a headache this morning...and company comin' in just over 6 hours.

You are in my 'thoughts and prayers'...I'm already getting slight anxiety thinking about T-day and Xmas w/ the in-laws

How was it Starlady? Hope the kyd was quiet!

Actually it went well. The kyd was pretty quiet and happy... and enjoyed playing with my dogs and their toys.

I did decide to cook for them.. and the kyd was good at the table (but next time she gets newspaper under her chair as I do have wood floor in my kitchen and have been scrubbing bits of food up around the area for 2 days)

It's just Harpi who is a piece of work. Nephew seems to care for the kyd more than she does. He did all the diaper changes while they were here and all the 'no no's' and picking her up when she was getting into trouble. He watched her very closely. Harpi was constantly looking at her phone and swiping through pictures and FB. She just sits like a lump (a fat lump) and says "Nephew, get this" "Nephew, do that" Did not lift a finger to care for toadleigh at all. Nephew even fed her the bottles... made up the formula, fed her, cleaned her, changed her...... He even changed her ON THE TILE FLOOR.. on a MAT they brought. He and the kyd were no problem... but she needs to step up and do her part. That sheloaf is sure gonna be a 'daddy's girl'. Nephew knows how I feel about my home. He lived with us for about 6 months. I hate messes.

The kyd is discovering her shrill shrieking voice. She let one of those out and my eyes rolled. Basically I managed just fine as I was busy in the kitchen making a meal that even Harpi couldn't complain about. She has never cleaned her plate at my house... but she did this time. LOL SCORE!!

Oh and I was shocked when I gave her the 'leash'. She said "I am a believer in leashes." I hope she was being truthful. Eh... well... she's got it and knows my feelings about out of control sprogs.

Won't be doing this again any time soon... but was glad to see that at least one of the parunts is raising the kyd. I guess Harpi feels she did her job when she popped it.

I'm glad it wasn't too bad all things considered. If she can't look after the one child, definitely lets hope for Nephew's sake that she doesn't insist on having another or he will be stuck doing all the work for two brats instead of one.

Interesting report.

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Harpi was constantly looking at her phone and swiping through pictures and FB.

What a Breeder move. IIRC, she was the one who pestered Nephew for all the trappings: wanted the ring, the house and the baybee and the FB ass-pats, but once the kid is here and she discovers how much work it is, she dumps it on someone else.

Newphew needs to wrap it up before he's raising #2 too.

ETA: And they both have medical problems too? She's fat and has a heart condition. Sound like good reasons not to breed.

Yep, she was still wearing the heart monitor while here. She's been on that for about a month. She (who is in the medical profession) was talking something about 'A-Fib' (thinking we knew nothing about that) She may also need a pacemaker eventually. Nephew is not fat at all. He has cholesterol issues. He was at the doctor that morning and his bloodwork was emailed to him during dinner and Harpi was explaining that to him during our salad and appetizer course. Numbers are down but he has to get more of his prescription.. and then another prescription for something the first prescription is doing to him. It's crazy. They are in their mid 30's and here we are discussing their medical issues at dinner and all the ones THEY have and the fact that dh and I have the bloodwork and hearts like the kind they should have. Think we were irritating Harpi. LOL
Hey woman... you're FAT, you have heart issues, a family with mental issues, NO MORE KYDS! OH, her brother (bi-polar) just announced kyd number 2.
I just do not like... and can't force myself to tolerate Harpi for more than a couple hours. If they are ever in my house for another meal I am gonna take that freekin phone away... I mean it.... how RUDE. Nephew was not on his phone at all ... except to get the email with his bloodwork. He couldn't be on the phone... he had to watch the kyd.

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yummynotmummy
I'm glad it wasn't too bad all things considered. If she can't look after the one child, definitely lets hope for Nephew's sake that she doesn't insist on having another or he will be stuck doing all the work for two brats instead of one.

Three. It sounds like he already has two, given the wife's level of adulting.

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starlady
It's crazy. They are in their mid 30's and here we are discussing their medical issues at dinner and all the ones THEY have and the fact that dh and I have the bloodwork and hearts like the kind they should have.

I think health depends on two factors: luck and lifestyle. Luck is out of your hands: people don't decide to be born with a hereditary illness, to get hit by a drunk driver, or to catch an airborne disease from a co-worker. But people in the developed world do largely get to choose how much they eat, how much they exercise, how much sleep they get, and what they eat. (I'm aware that poverty can reduce choices, but then there's the choice to make your situation worse by adding dependents to the mix.)

The things they are suffering from, excluding mental illness, are largely a consequence of choice. And they can see, from looking at you, that their experiences are neither inevitable nor normal.

It's funny how natalists think that life is such a great blessing, yet many of them are too damn lazy to even ensure that they can go on living their lives with relative health and happiness. Their lives are among the least worthwhile ones possible, yet they are convinced life is good?

I was talking to dh last night about 'the visit'. Now remember, we have a brand new home and I had it very neat and decorated nicely (not expensivly or fancy..but nicely) I asked it Harpi made any remarks as he took she and Nephew on the 'tour.' He said that she did not make any comment.. just carried loaf and talked baybee talk to it the whole time. Nephew did make remarks about where furniture was placed and 'cool curtains' and things like that. Harpi never commented on anything in the house... or offered to help clear dishes or get food out or anything. Just sat with her phone in her hand.. the whole time she was here. Even at the table! One hand on the phone and other hand putting bits of food on the tray for loafleigh to shove into her hole with her fingers (YUCK!) She did indulge in a bit of conversation... and really perked up with she was telling me about 'the birth'. I didn't want to hear about any dialation or pushing while I was eating my specially prepared desert. Even Nephew told her "maybe you should wait till after we eat"
Yeah, I think there MAY be hope for Nephew...but Harpi is just a piece of work. Only talking about herself and her family and what SHE is doing. No question about anything we've been doing. I guess she figures we don't have a life. I don't know. Just aggravating. At least dh noticed and he does understand why I can't stand the woman.

star, perhaps this is passive aggressive towards you? harpi probably knows what you think and feel about her. and she does not want to deal with you either. no offense.
also, moos like these are a dime a dozen and on the increase.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

About the phone thing, I know you don't want to be rude to Nephew who was acting correctly, but think about this next time:


Anytime she's on her phone for over 120 seconds, pull out a paperback and read it at the table or during any conversation. MAYBE she'll get the hint.

I'm gonna post my paragraphs consecutively to see what banned word i'm using.

I have decided to always have a little paperback tucked in my purse when I'm out w/ friends. These days, for some reason, everyone thinks it's A-okay to stare, hover at their phone w/ me or at dinner. Have it right next to their food like they are a doctor on-call for surgery, Not teens or college-aged people but middle aged adults, my guess is they don't realize how long they really are doing it, and convince themselves it's important when it really really isn't. This way they get the hint, and I'm not bored while they are reading their stupid FB posts and texts about absolutely nothing.

My older friend refuses to put on her readers, got a six hundred dollar phone she doesn't know how to use no matter how much help she got, and sits there trying to read nonsense appointment reminders from her dentist. Like everyone else in the world, she thinks this is great and stops all conversation or socialization to do nothing.

Not sure if she got it, but when she was on her cell I pulled out my cents off ads and grocery lists and went thru them. When she finally noticed, she said What are YOU doing?!?! I said, you had to go thru your notices, I had to go thru mine.

But Starlady, next time hub is feeling obligated to Nephew, remind him how Harpi didn't look up from her phone the entire time. Tell him you don't want to force her to be there. Really, if anyone else invited to your home stuck their nose in the phone for the entire visit, would you invite them back?

Heh! Cfuter? Did you find out where the 'forbidden word' was. I didn't see any. LOL

Yeah,dh knows she's rude and I don't like her. When Nephew asked a few weeks ago if it was okay to bring loafly... we should have said "sure, but leave it's moo at home"

Her face wasn't in the phone the WHOLE time. She did manage to look up when she was telling us how much money other family members gave them when the kyd was born. Anyhow... I can tell she doesn't like me... or us really. When we were sayin goodbye.. Nephew gave me a nice 2 arm hug but she just kind of loosly threw one arm over my shoulder like she HAD to do it. Yep.. I got the message.. loud and clear. Guess I won't have to worry about them now till Christmas. I know dh will want to see Nephew then... after they get done seeing all the other relatives. My plan... to give gifts to Nephew and the kyd and not one thing for her.

I could be a very good person to have as a friend.. I am generous to my real friends, but get on my bad side and you're screwed.

Yeah.. I'll let you all know how Christmas goes.

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starlady
Yep, she was still wearing the heart monitor while here. She's been on that for about a month. She (who is in the medical profession) was talking something about 'A-Fib' (thinking we knew nothing about that) She may also need a pacemaker eventually. Nephew is not fat at all. He has cholesterol issues. He was at the doctor that morning and his bloodwork was emailed to him during dinner and Harpi was explaining that to him during our salad and appetizer course. Numbers are down but he has to get more of his prescription.. and then another prescription for something the first prescription is doing to him. It's crazy. They are in their mid 30's and here we are discussing their medical issues at dinner and all the ones THEY have and the fact that dh and I have the bloodwork and hearts like the kind they should have. Think we were irritating Harpi. LOL
Hey woman... you're FAT, you have heart issues, a family with mental issues, NO MORE KYDS! OH, her brother (bi-polar) just announced kyd number 2.
I just do not like... and can't force myself to tolerate Harpi for more than a couple hours. If they are ever in my house for another meal I am gonna take that freekin phone away... I mean it.... how RUDE. Nephew was not on his phone at all ... except to get the email with his bloodwork. He couldn't be on the phone... he had to watch the kyd.

Having health issues in your thirties isn't uncommon. I had a boat load of shit hit me in my late 20's, causing me to be unable to make use of my Associates Degree. I am now 49 and I've been hospitalized 5 times, once spending 3 weeks in a coma. My one smart move was avoiding brats.

My sister died of a massive coronary at the age of 39.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

Guess I think it's ...well.. not odd but unusual to have serious health issues like that at that age since I came from a rather healthy family. Dh did too. Thing is... why would she want to have another kyd when she has all these other things going on. Getting inpig would be the last thing I'd be thinking about if I had any other health problem..like heart issues and blood clots. She seems to think nothing of it. She actually said "nobody's heart is perfect" WHAT? I did get a good one in then. I said "mine is" lol (last check up Dr said I had the heart of someone half my age so.... think that over fat moo) Ofcourse she replied "there must be SOMETHING wrong with it" Yeah.. well... I'm not sitting there with wires hanging out of my shirt and popping daily pills for blood clots.

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craftyzits

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starlady
Yep, she was still wearing the heart monitor while here. She's been on that for about a month. She (who is in the medical profession) was talking something about 'A-Fib' (thinking we knew nothing about that) She may also need a pacemaker eventually. Nephew is not fat at all. He has cholesterol issues. He was at the doctor that morning and his bloodwork was emailed to him during dinner and Harpi was explaining that to him during our salad and appetizer course. Numbers are down but he has to get more of his prescription.. and then another prescription for something the first prescription is doing to him. It's crazy. They are in their mid 30's and here we are discussing their medical issues at dinner and all the ones THEY have and the fact that dh and I have the bloodwork and hearts like the kind they should have. Think we were irritating Harpi. LOL
Hey woman... you're FAT, you have heart issues, a family with mental issues, NO MORE KYDS! OH, her brother (bi-polar) just announced kyd number 2.
I just do not like... and can't force myself to tolerate Harpi for more than a couple hours. If they are ever in my house for another meal I am gonna take that freekin phone away... I mean it.... how RUDE. Nephew was not on his phone at all ... except to get the email with his bloodwork. He couldn't be on the phone... he had to watch the kyd.

Having health issues in your thirties isn't uncommon. I had a boat load of shit hit me in my late 20's, causing me to be unable to make use of my Associates Degree. I am now 49 and I've been hospitalized 5 times, once spending 3 weeks in a coma. My one smart move was avoiding brats.

My sister died of a massive coronary at the age of 39.

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craftyzits
Having health issues in your thirties isn't uncommon. I had a boat load of shit hit me in my late 20's, causing me to be unable to make use of my Associates Degree. I am now 49 and I've been hospitalized 5 times, once spending 3 weeks in a coma. My one smart move was avoiding brats.

My sister died of a massive coronary at the age of 39.

You can't help your luck, but what I don't understand is why people who think it is downhill from 30 would rush to add responsibilities and stress. Who chooses to live like a mayfly?

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yurble

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craftyzits
Having health issues in your thirties isn't uncommon. I had a boat load of shit hit me in my late 20's, causing me to be unable to make use of my Associates Degree. I am now 49 and I've been hospitalized 5 times, once spending 3 weeks in a coma. My one smart move was avoiding brats.

My sister died of a massive coronary at the age of 39.

You can't help your luck, but what I don't understand is why people who think it is downhill from 30 would rush to add responsibilities and stress. Who chooses to live like a mayfly?

'

Yeah, if one has these issues and is approaching 40, why oh why would they add another kyd to the mix? OH, and did I also mention she wants to take on line courses to become an RN (she's currently an LPN) Oh I can just imagine where this leaves Nephew since he already does all the cooking, cleaning, most of the babby raisin, and also works full time on the GRAVEYARD SHIFT at a order fulfillment center. When does the guy sleep?

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starlady
Heh! Cfuter? Did you find out where the 'forbidden word' was. I didn't see any. LOL

It was c o u p o n s. So I changed it to 'cents off'

It seems like you guys dont want her over and she doesnt want to be there. Hub should just grab a coffee or a beer w/ Nephew once in awhile, why put everyone thru this? As long as everyone really is on the same page....