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How do I deal with my husbands "very mild fondling" of our daughters?

Posted by ladybug2203 
How do I deal with my husbands "very mild fondling" of our daughters?
October 01, 2017
Ummmm report him to the authorities you moron?!

http://www.stopitnow.org/advice-column-entry/how-should-i-deal-with-my-husbands-very-mild-fondling-of-my-daughters
Quote

My husband sometimes touches our 3 and 6 year old daughters in ways that I find mildly inappropriate - e.g. pulling down the 3-year-old's pants so we can see her bottom, or caressing her bottom when she just needs help pulling down her night-time diaper to use the toilet in the morning; or holding the 6-year-old across his lap in an armchair and stroking her leg from top to bottom (just on the outside).

Okay that's the most disgusting thing I've read in a while.
Re: How do I deal with my husbands "very mild fondling" of our daughters?
October 01, 2017
another 'moo in denial'
to quote dr laura, 'a limp chick'

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children
and I defy anyone to prove me wrong:

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet I'll put shoes on my pets.

Mankind and its needs (wants) are like unto a black hole. It devours all available resources and it never is full: it merely grows larger and demands more.

Definition of 'wealthy': Anyone who makes more/has more than you do.

Someone pointed out that I'm a realist. And all along I thought I was just a pessimist crossed with a cynic.

Entitlement, thy name is mooooooooooooooo

"Fathom the hypocrisy of a government that requires every citizen to prove
they are insured... but not everyone must prove they are a citizen.
Add to this that, many of those who refuse or are unable to prove they are
citizens, will receive free insurance paid for by those who are.""

I am confused enough already. I do not need outside help.
And then in 20 years she's going to wonder why her daughters hate her.

------------------------------------------------------------
"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan
There is no such thing as "very mild fondling." Fondling does not come in degrees. It is or it isn't, and this... is.
Re: How do I deal with my husbands "very mild fondling" of our daughters?
October 01, 2017
I think it's pretty damn easy to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy touchy-feely behavior with anybody of any age or relation - namely, you don't feel icky seeing it or hearing about it.

What the Duh here is doing sounds like the unhealthy kind of touching, and this is just what Moo sees him doing with their kids. Imagine what he's touching when she's not around. I'm willing for a moment to give Duh the benefit of the doubt - maaaybe he's one of those people whose parents/family were very touchy-feely with one another. Not in an incestuous way, but just in a general way, and it might not even be something that he realizes is abnormal. Or maybe he himself was abused as a child and didn't know it was abuse, so he thinks this is an acceptable way to interact with his own kids. Who fuckin' knows. Doesn't excuse him doing it, and if he honestly has no idea it's inappropriate, Moo needs to bring it to his attention before the kids grow up thinking it's totally fine for an adult to touch them like that.

But I fail to see any reason why a parent should be pantsing their kids or rubbing their legs and asses. We have gut instincts for a reason and if Moo is having one regarding her husband's behavior, she should be paying far closer attention to how Duh acts with their kids and also observe the way the kids behave. She'd be wise to invest in a nanny cam and not let Duh know about it. If her spidey sense is tingling, there's probably a goddamn good reason for it, but I'm sure she'll just stick her head in the sand and pretend like nothing is wrong, even if she winds up with concrete proof that the guy is abusing their kids.

Why? Because that's what Moos do. It's much, much more convenient for them to pretend like nothing is wrong because then they'll have to lose their walking ATMs/sperm donors if they raise a stink and/or reveal that their wonderful husbands are Chesters. How do you deal with your husband's fondling of your kids? You get your kids the fuck away from him. How does the average Moo deal with it? Pretend like it's not happening. Well, she'll have some explaining to do when the older child starts talking about Daddy touching her ass and rubbing her legs at school (assuming she's not home-schooled or unschooled).
And you know if this moo is on the fence about it, she's describing it in the most mild terms possible. Whatever she admits he's doing, it's worse. Leave his ass and report him to the police. Period.
Quote
kittehpeoples
And you know if this moo is on the fence about it, she's describing it in the most mild terms possible. Whatever she admits he's doing, it's worse. Leave his ass and report him to the police. Period.

Leaving is what we hope she will do, but Moos come with learned helplessness. That is the feeling that they can't do things on their own with out others doing the heavy lifting, such as learning how to support their own sprogs.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!
There is seriously no need to do any of that in order to show healthy affection to your kids. Weird.
Re: How do I deal with my husbands "very mild fondling" of our daughters?
October 02, 2017
Quote
Christhead
There is no such thing as "very mild fondling." Fondling does not come in degrees. It is or it isn't, and this... is.

Exactly. If the word fondling - as opposed to snuggling or cuddling - is being used to describe it, then you know that it is inappropriate. (Assuming the description is accurate, as it is in this case, and it isn't just jealousy at the father showing the children affection.) I agree with kittehpeoples, it's probably worse than she describes because she doesn't want to get the advice to put a stop to it right now...because, like craftyzits says, she's afraid that she'll be completely responsible for the kids.

Well, that's a risk you take when you have them...that you'll be 100% responsible for them. You don't get to decide that it's okay for them to be inappropriately touched so long as they are fed and clothed.
Re: How do I deal with my husbands "very mild fondling" of our daughters?
October 02, 2017
she had better have documentation, proof out the wazoo, up every which way and sideways. If she walks out and he gets unsupervised visitation because she can't prove it...oy

Oh yes, and the understatement is very real. How many mootards whine 'he was quietly fusssing'. riiight.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children
and I defy anyone to prove me wrong:

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet I'll put shoes on my pets.

Mankind and its needs (wants) are like unto a black hole. It devours all available resources and it never is full: it merely grows larger and demands more.

Definition of 'wealthy': Anyone who makes more/has more than you do.

Someone pointed out that I'm a realist. And all along I thought I was just a pessimist crossed with a cynic.

Entitlement, thy name is mooooooooooooooo

"Fathom the hypocrisy of a government that requires every citizen to prove
they are insured... but not everyone must prove they are a citizen.
Add to this that, many of those who refuse or are unable to prove they are
citizens, will receive free insurance paid for by those who are.""

I am confused enough already. I do not need outside help.

Re: How do I deal with my husbands "very mild fondling" of our daughters?
October 03, 2017
There is no dealing with it. Report it, divorce it, and restraining order it and his whole fam damily.

_______________________________________________
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