This may not be very popular

We are usually like-minded, but this post may not be very popular. Yesterday at Thanksgiving Dinner my nephew and his stepford wife announced baby #4. Jesus Christ they have only been married six years. Oh, and all of the crotch fruit are paid via YOUR tax dollars, fellow cf'ers, because my fucker of a nephew is a marine.

Do these assholes think any PART of this tiny blue marble should be covered in anything except human vermine? One square inch that should not covered in plastic crap? Am I expected to buy all four of the fuckers gifts for the rest of my fucking LIFE?

I may be expected to, but it is not going to happen. As soon as my parents die I fully plan to cut off ALL contact. If my sister doesn't like it, she can go too.

Anyway, I may be going too far, but their last child (#3) has very close-set eyes that just don't look normal. I sincerely hope that either the next one is full on Down's Syndrome or the cunt dies in childbirth.

I will never express this to anyone I know, including my husband. But it is most sincere and I am NOT SORRY.

You don't need to be sorry. I've cut people out of my life and make a point of leaving holiday gatherings early to avoid them. If anyone says anything just say 'the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb,' and 'I don't believe in non-voluntary obligations.' In my experience that usually closes down any discussions or attempts to change my mind

Lock him up or put him down.
Stolen from Shiny.

Quote
deanad
We are usually like-minded, but this post may not be very popular. Yesterday at Thanksgiving Dinner my nephew and his stepford wife announced baby #4. Jesus Christ they have only been married six years. Oh, and all of the crotch fruit are paid via YOUR tax dollars, fellow cf'ers, because my fucker of a nephew is a marine.

Do these assholes think any PART of this tiny blue marble should be covered in anything except human vermine? One square inch that should not covered in plastic crap? Am I expected to buy all four of the fuckers gifts for the rest of my fucking LIFE?

I may be expected to, but it is not going to happen. As soon as my parents die I fully plan to cut off ALL contact. If my sister doesn't like it, she can go too.

Anyway, I may be going too far, but their last child (#3) has very close-set eyes that just don't look normal. I sincerely hope that either the next one is full on Down's Syndrome or the cunt dies in childbirth.

I will never express this to anyone I know, including my husband. But it is most sincere and I am NOT SORRY.

You don't have to be sorry to anyone for how you feel. Your own thoughts are your privilege, obviously. I do wonder why you are festering so much anger against people who (at least by what I've read) have shown no aggression toward you? Wishing death and birth defects upon people is pretty heavy, so I am open to the possibility that there is more in play here.

FWIW, I do believe that a sincere conversation about the holidays and future expectations would benefit you and your family. I do not believe anyone should harbor an expectation that you buy their kids gifts in perpetuity. A few years back my significant other and I laid down expectations for our families in terms of where we would be spending the holidays. And honestly, people were pissed off in the moment that we would not be driving all over our area to see every person during every holiday. We had tried doing this in past years (about 150 miles each holiday) and it was a miserable experience for us.

After the first year of our new holiday plan, people got used to it. It wasn't a big deal. It was understood as a reasonable compromise for all parties. Perhaps you can propose something similar for your situation, placing some kind of a "cap" on gifts for the kids?

Our family isn't terribly gifty. Well, all except two of my family is dead. The two live in different states than I do as well, so I don't deal with drama.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

Quote

A few years back my significant other and I laid down expectations for our families in terms of where we would be spending the holidays. And honestly, people were pissed off in the moment that we would not be driving all over our area to see every person during every holiday. We had tried doing this in past years (about 150 miles each holiday) and it was a miserable experience for us. After the first year of our new holiday plan, people got used to it. It wasn't a big deal. It was understood as a reasonable compromise for all parties.

Always a good idea to do this in any relationship. I had a similar experience. I consider a lot of DH's family traditions pretty stupid. My DH is 50+ and everyone in their family has always gone to my in-laws for Christmas. Every year. A lot of this is orchestrated by my SIL, who is 60+ wants the whole fambilee to be together. Once, when one of her kids was going to be delayed, delayed mind you, not prevented from coming, I watched her have a full--blown crying fit because OMG, her 35 year old kid might miss the OPENING OF THE PRESENTS. I think it's infantile to be so up your parents' asses that not spending the holiday with them is a crisis. I personally would like to go to a tropical destination sometime and avoid the Christmas crap altogether.

Anyway, I insisted on a hotel and now it's second nature. My DH loves the hotel now. He WANTS to get away from the noise. Some of his siblings have similarly defected to the hotel and they tell us they are never going back. It just never occurred to them to do things differently until someone came along and pointed out that it's uncomfortable and unnecessary to pack 20+ adults into a small house.

I'm content to do this for now because there's a hotel and I have fun too, but once the in-laws are gone, it's game over. The grandkids are already getting their own lives and families and they are starting their own traditions. I always take their side when they run up against my SIL and her dictatorship "family traditions."

Back to topic, breeding is always depressing, but it's particularly depressing to see people having large families. Do they not care about what kind of lives their kids are going to have? Rhetorical question, Breeders don't care. And I hope Trophy Wife is ready to do a lot of cunt work due to having a military husband. Not to mention some Marines have dangerous jobs. How smart is it to sprog when you could be a widow at any time?

'I don't believe in non-voluntary obligations.'


I love this one. Good one for me to use with some of my fambly members.

Since my parents are gone.. our traditions are all blown out of the water... and we do something kind of different almost every year now. All other cousins who are left are far away and I don't even hear from them. I spend my holidays with friends. We get together at some point for dinner and some gifts but it's nothing like it used to be. I now have control over who I spend these days with to keep the anxiety meter at in the normal range. I have to admit that those old family traditions, though I loved them, we a bit exhausting.

Then there's the Nephew (35) who thinks that not seeing his moomie for Christmas is a crisis... or... maybe it's her who thinks that she HAS to have both son and daughter with her.. (forget the nephew's wife) Fambly is so over rated.

My family (we all tended to move in a big clump city to city when things got too expensive) always gathered at either my sister's house or my Mom's place, switching to the sister's house because a Parental RV is no place for family gatherings. We'd buy each other usually inexpensive dollar store gifts that make them laugh out loud or maybe one or two nice things the receiver wanted. We would eat dinner, it was just a fun time. However, first my sister died, then father, then Mom & stepfather. The two grand kids of my sister left the state, and the traditions died on the vine.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

Who buys their nephew's kids presents? I have never gotten a gift from my aunt's aunt - that is way stretching gift obligation.

If you feel compelled to get them something, do a simple group gift for all of the brats to share, like a board game or a gift box of cocoa packets.

EXACTLY, Stillwaters!

I have a tiny green purse in my box of memories. I stayed with my aunt once way back in 1971 for a week. I got very, very sick and she bought me this little purse as a day-brightener. It was the only gift I ever received from her. My breeder sisters (two of them) have garnered hundreds of gifts from me and my other sister (she is not even married so she never even benefited from THAT gift bonanza) for their broods. The adults pick names and you can even opt out if you want, but there is an unshakable tradition that every child gets a gift from everyone. My God, I've even witnessed a kid getting tired and fussy before all the gifts are opened there are so many. Like a poster above. I plan on vacationing on Christmas after my parents are gone.

My immediate family used to go to my maternal grandmother's house for Christmas every now and then. It wasn't every single year. We would take our stockings, I think. But there really wasn't any official gift exchange. I have one uncle who likes goofy, spontaneous stuff so he would sometimes go to Big Lots or a thrift store and find the strangest stuff to put in people's stockings. That was funny. But that was about it for presents.

And yeah, having 14 people crammed into a 3 bedroom 1 bathroom house was tight. Grandma had a few hide-a-beds, a guest room, and a couple twin beds in the basement. I'm sure the adults were more affected by that than the kids were.

The great-aunts and great-uncles would drop by, but didn't stay over. I never got presents from them, nor did I expect to. Buying/making gifts for anyone but the most immediate relatives is really ridiculous.

deanad, if the kids are being bombed with gifts every year, they won't notice if you scale back. Hell, I'd be tempted to send out an e-mail blast to the adults during the holiday off-season and let people know that gift-giving by you won't be happening during the next Christmas. If you want, throw in something about watching spending, or valuing time with family more than material gifts, or that you'll be donating to (insert charity of your choice) in their names. Then if they fuss and whine or try to argue, you don't have to be in the same room with them. You can read their responses or not.

Budget the fucks you're going to give, and stick to that fuck budget.

Quote
randomcfchick
Budget the fucks you're going to give, and stick to that fuck budget.

Oh, my god, I love this. Thank you.