Difference between CF men and women

https://goodmenproject.com/sex-relationships/online-dating-childless-by-choice/

The article is interesting, but what I really found fascinating was the comment by "Margo Rose". She says child free men are also likely to be commitment free, and the men who do want to commit often have a strong desire to have kids too.

This is true of most of the people I've met now that I think about it. More women are the traditional except for not wanting kids type. Men usually either embrace all aspects of the traditional lifestyle or reject them all.

What do you think?

I did notice the same thing. And now thinking of myself, although i'm very open-minded to different lifestyles and i never judge, i'm quite traditional when it comes to personal choices (except the kids thing, of course).

It is very easy for men to want it all when it comes to being traditional because they can have it all without compromises. Women? Not so much. In the most equal relationships, i still saw women doing most of the childcare and housework. And besides, biology is not equal, women still have to carry the pregnancy, give birth and breastfeed. It's easy for men to want kids.

Um, I'm in a long term, stable relationship with a CF guy. He wants a monogamous, lifelong relationship without children, as do I. It's going pretty well.

He may be the exception that proves the rule, or he may be the example that proves it wrong. Not sure, but here's at least one case of a CF guy who wants a lifelong commitment.

I think it's just a stereotype. I have seen many couples who have children and aren't married. And of course we all know there are plenty of single mothers out there.

I have not had any difficulty finding men who didn't want children but who wanted commitment. There are of course also men who don't want either.

I appreciate it when people know what they want and communicate it, so they can find someone with similar preferences.

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yurble
I appreciate it when people know what they want and communicate it, so they can find someone with similar preferences.

THIS. When we decided to date, Mr. kittehpeoples and I had that exact discussion. I said this is what I'm looking for-- no kids, long term relationship, etc. He wanted the same things, so we started dating. We agreed we were both old enough not to play games or whatever...just say what you want and if you think you're compatible, great! If you're not, don't waste your time.

I have met a few of these stereotypical "commitment-free" CF guys, I spent a couple years with one, dating him. He was very upfront about being commitment free, emphasizing that as much as he was truly a cat person, even that was too much commitment.

Turns out he was riding out the last of his "player" years by keeping fuckbuddies all over.
I always made sure to clarify that I was only interested in monogamy after making a mistaken assumption about monogamy early in my dating life. So he knew I wouldnt have slept with him *at all* if I knew he had an active sex life with others, flat out said those words, he agreed, good policy, so mature to bring it out in the open like that, he wasn't seeing anyone and wouldn't while with me. But even honesty was too much of a commitment.

In the end it works out for me anyway, he's still delivering pizza in his late 40s, and I'm going to retire before I'm his age. He was fun to be with while I believed him, just a learning experience in the end. He's going to be friend free eventually, not many people appreciate a committed liar.

I'm going to be facing the dating world again soon (*confetti*). I'm not too bothered about finding a CF man, but then I'm not too bothered about finding commitment, either. I most definitely want sex, but most of all I want my own living space without anyone else in it.

I think the professor guy from the article was off the mark. I don't think I'd care about temporary (or not-so-temporary) body changes if I really wanted kids. I think men are more likely to want/say they want kids because 1) they don't think their profile is going to get any attention because "all women want kids" 2) they know if kids make them miserable they can just walk away. Sure, they have to send a monthly check, but their lives can pretty much go back to what it was before kids. Women don't get to just walk away.

Being a wife/mother still sucks all around. There is still a huge expectation that the one with the vagina does all the work. My STB ex is a progressive, liberal CF man, I STILL ended up being the one to do all the housework, laundry, grocery shopping/meal planning. SOMEtimes he would cook dinner after we both put in eight hours at work. I got sick of taking on all the bs , so I started to only do my own laundry and shopping. I buy stuff I like and cook my own meals. He got thouroughly butthurt and wounded because I stopped being his mommy and expected him to feed and clothe himself like an adult.

We separated for awhile and I started seeing someone else. It was nice - I'd get away from the roommate and spend Saturday night at his place. Then Sunday morning came and all of a sudden it was: "What are you cooking for breakfast?", " I have to clean my place - you can do the dishes." Fucking seriously???

I was thinking - aren't CF men often called immature, irresponsible, and the like? In the same way that CF women are chastised for being career-minded or party girls.

Again, I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting commitment and being up-front about it, but characterizing CF men that way sounds an awful lot like CF-bashing/man-bashing.

I think this is a typical article that devalues CF people as human beings. The way our society is, anyone who dares to deviate from "tradition" is labeled all kinds of things, with very few of them being nice.

Just because a man is willing to breed, it is not an indication, in any way, that he is a man of commitment. For anyone who is ever in doubt, please check out any dating site and there you will see crowds of single parents and very small numbers of true CF people.

ETA: Ask any breeder and they will call us downright evil

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ondinette
the men who do want to commit often have a strong desire to have kids too.

I'm not sure that these men are the traditional kind. They sound like the insecure kind of guy who wants to be sure his partner can't leave him or at least not easily. And the most convenient way to tie a woman to himself is to get her pregnant.

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Presto
I have met a few of these stereotypical "commitment-free" CF guys, I spent a couple years with one, dating him. He was very upfront about being commitment free, emphasizing that as much as he was truly a cat person, even that was too much commitment.

Turns out he was riding out the last of his "player" years by keeping fuckbuddies all over.
I always made sure to clarify that I was only interested in monogamy after making a mistaken assumption about monogamy early in my dating life. So he knew I wouldnt have slept with him *at all* if I knew he had an active sex life with others, flat out said those words, he agreed, good policy, so mature to bring it out in the open like that, he wasn't seeing anyone and wouldn't while with me. But even honesty was too much of a commitment.

In the end it works out for me anyway, he's still delivering pizza in his late 40s, and I'm going to retire before I'm his age. He was fun to be with while I believed him, just a learning experience in the end. He's going to be friend free eventually, not many people appreciate a committed liar.

Plenty of men (and women, likely) lie about anything and everything to get what they want. Being honest and upfront is admirable but rare. And a person can accept or reject aspects of traditional lifestyle (commitment, marriage, etc.) and still be a constant liar or an honest person. Some want the cake of the tradition book cover and to eat it too.