How much "have a kid to solve medical problem" advice is just aging?

I'm sure the women on this board have heard various doctors, articles, and busybodies suggesting having children to "cure" various ailments, such as painful periods. I started to wonder: when it does work, how much could be attributed to having a child, and how much to the natural process of aging?

What got me started on this was reading a post on Reddit by a woman wanting sterilization but being worried about post-tubal ligation syndrome. People had already responded that it was a load of crap, stemming largely from women who had been on hormonal contraceptives for years suddenly coming off of them. And of course for breeders, there's probably the psychological component of coming to terms with no more children - I suspect a good many of people who claim this condition also regret being sterile.

Then today I was reading about a woman with painful periods. My own cramps used to be horrific, leaving me a non-functioning screaming mess, but over time they became more mild and since about 30 I've found them mostly a minor annoyance. Obviously if there is a pathology the situation won't resolve itself, but it didn't escape my notice that my cramps sort of cleared up on their own at right about the average age of having a first child.

Of course the CF woman will happily take 3 days/month of pain over 18+ years of it, but it just got me thinking of how much "medical knowledge" about women is really specific to mothers.

Like problems with holding pee when laughing or sneezing. Is that really something I am going to have to look forward to when I'm older, or is that pretty much a breeder-only problem?

In the absence of studies, it feels like we have to cobble together information about aging for each other.

Breeders and fat people generally suffer the squirts. If you've a pathology you will too.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

Actually, it's just a fact that female plumbing is ill-designed. I am neither a breeder nor especially fat, and I have found that the older I get (I'm currently 68), the more sensitive my bladder is. It's just age. Leakage, like feces, eventuates.

Which is not to say that it's not 100 times worse if you've sprogged at least once. There are women who could be my grandchildren who leak more than I do, because they crapped out kids. I don't have to wear pads, just make sure I make the trip down the hall when the least urge comes over me. I know women in their early 30s who are practically in diapers.

it's possibly somewhat similar to the old saw "if you shave, the hair comes back thicker and darker". Well,or possibly, you don't want or need to shave before you start to mature, so the hair would get darker and thicker one way or another?

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skyeyes
Actually, it's just a fact that female plumbing is ill-designed. I am neither a breeder nor especially fat, and I have found that the older I get (I'm currently 68), the more sensitive my bladder is. It's just age. Leakage, like feces, eventuates.

Which is not to say that it's not 100 times worse if you've sprogged at least once. There are women who could be my grandchildren who leak more than I do, because they crapped out kids. I don't have to wear pads, just make sure I make the trip down the hall when the least urge comes over me. I know women in their early 30s who are practically in diapers.

That's useful to know. Nobody gives you a handbook on aging like they do with puberty.

When my mom was trying to sell me on having kids, she said it made your menstrual cramps better. However, she later admitted that while her cramps were better, they were replaced by a feeling like everything was going to fall out. I'll take my 3 days of cramps and kid-free life, thanks.

My ob-gyn told me pregnancy can help cramps, but only if you deliver vaginally. I have no idea why.

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Which is not to say that it's not 100 times worse if you've sprogged at least once. There are women who could be my grandchildren who leak more than I do, because they crapped out kids.

Endometriosis did a number on my insides, but from what I gathered it's not nearly as bad as the damage from kids. A pelvic exam quickly reveals the differences between nullipara women and women who have sprogged.

I went to a female physical therapist who specializes in the pelvic floor. She told me she has seen many women in their 20's with completely wrecked pelvic floors, uterine prolapse, and yes it's all due to sprogging.

As an aside, going to that female PT was easily THE MOST INVASIVE medical experience ever. It's rather unsettling to have someone peering at your junk under a bright light, touching your vulva, putting her gloved fingers in orifices, shoving a wand up there and asking you to squeeze various muscles. I left the appointment congratulating myself yet again on my CF decision: I could not stand being pregnant and having people fuck with me all the time.

Being CF is a much more dignified way to live.

Oh I feel lucky. My cramps got worse as I got into my 30s. Had awful bladder infections too. Had my hysterectomy at 40 and even the bladder cleared up. It was a horrible infection in my uterus...and...after the labs came back..found out it was the same bacteria causing both problems. Anyhow....i am in my60s norr w and no sign of bladder issues. I have several friends...younger than me...most with at least one kid...who have awful problems.

Forgot to add...my mil was one who kept harping on me "have a baby and it will all clear up"
Ol..hey mil...i found a better way.

The only cure a baby will provide is relieving you of all your free time and money and an intact uterus and vagina.

My cramps were bad in my teens and 20s and got a lot better in my 30s.

A roommate once told me about a medical study of nuns. Very few of them had breast cancer. She said it's not true having kids makes you less likely to get breast cancer, it is really the opposite.

I've heard a significant percentage of young childless women have incontinence issues, so it probably is a design issue. Of course their problem gets much worse if they have kids. Incontinence also increases with age, but is probably worse if you've had kids.

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ondinette
A roommate once told me about a medical study of nuns. Very few of them had breast cancer. She said it's not true having kids makes you less likely to get breast cancer, it is really the opposite.

I'd like to read that, because I was indeed thinking that there have always been women without children to study, so there's no reason we can't have these studies.

You always hear about breast tissue being immature until breast feeding. But not why "immature tissue" would be more prone to being cancerous. I did notice that my breasts continued to grow into my 30s (irrespective of body weight), and that is generally supposed to stop with the end of puberty, around 25. They gave up around mid-30s.

As far as I can tell, being CF is the closest you can get to a fountain of youth for women, yet we're always being warned of these dire physical consequences from abstaining from reproduction.

i had a gyno/oncologist tell me he would remove everything. wish I'd had the funds at the time. He actually OFFERED to do that.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

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twocents
i had a gyno/oncologist tell me he would remove everything. wish I'd had the funds at the time. He actually OFFERED to do that.

My gyno did this too, and because I was on Medicare/AHCCCS at the time, I took the offer and got the thing yanked. He found that all my medical indicators were red/yellow so he was able to get it covered on the usually stingy government dime.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

Here is my take on all of this. Let's say that having a baby supposedly cures menstrual cramps. What about side effects? Are they worse than the original condition and can original condition be dealt with in a less drastic way than pushing a water melon out of a grape sized hole?

If the originally suggested "medicine" does more bad than good, is there a way to discontinue the treatment? Nope. In medical field, drastic measures such as surgery are not usually implemented unless:
1) Patient's life is in danger
2) There is no other, simpler method that is available

Having a baby is a cure for those who were going to do it anyways. Opposite is also true. If a woman is told that having a baby is going to do serious damages to her body, very few will reconsider the idea, if they were set on having a kid to begin with.

I was once complaining to a young female doctor that i don't want the pill anymore, i'm so worried about side-effects like blood clots at which she tells me with a grin "pregnancy has far worse side-effects".

For the readers and members with endometriosis (and for anybody interested) i recommend the article Endometriosis: ancient disease, ancient treatments by endometriosis specialist Camran Nezhat (PDF is online). You will find lots of answers there and especially why the disease is so misdiagnosed, poorly understood and poorly treated. As for pregnancy is a cure - misinformation, it springs from the fact that women and people in general had much shorter lifespans in the past and women had children at a very young age. Because there wasn't reliable birth control, they were pregnant most of their lives and the symptoms of endometriosis were suppressed as they had fewer periods (major contributor to endometriosis). Nowadays we have hormonal treatments which take care of that but the belief that pregnancy "cures" endometriosis still remained.

You will also find the explanation why women are thought to be mad instead of taken seriously when it comes to reproductive diseases. Also during witch hunts, women with endometriosis were killed as they thought to be possessed and later on they were locked into asylums.

Nezhat says that this is one of the biggest misdiagnosis in history and no wonder that after thousands of years of "women are just mad" attitude this disease has no treatment and the cause is still unknown.

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blackpearl
I was once complaining to a young female doctor that i don't want the pill anymore, i'm so worried about side-effects like blood clots at which she tells me with a grin "pregnancy has far worse side-effects".

For the readers and members with endometriosis (and for anybody interested) i recommend the article Endometriosis: ancient disease, ancient treatments by endometriosis specialist Camran Nezhat (PDF is online). You will find lots of answers there and especially why the disease is so misdiagnosed, poorly understood and poorly treated. As for pregnancy is a cure - misinformation, it springs from the fact that women and people in general had much shorter lifespans in the past and women had children at a very young age. Because there wasn't reliable birth control, they were pregnant most of their lives and the symptoms of endometriosis were suppressed as they had fewer periods (major contributor to endometriosis). Nowadays we have hormonal treatments which take care of that but the belief that pregnancy "cures" endometriosis still remained.

You will also find the explanation why women are thought to be mad instead of taken seriously when it comes to reproductive diseases. Also during witch hunts, women with endometriosis were killed as they thought to be possessed and later on they were locked into asylums.

Nezhat says that this is one of the biggest misdiagnosis in history and no wonder that after thousands of years of "women are just mad" attitude this disease has no treatment and the cause is still unknown.

The fact a disease goes untreated and much about it goes unknown is due to the patriarchal society's attitude about women. Money is not spent on women's health be it reproductive or any other type of health such as women's different symptoms of heart attacks.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

@craftyzits That's very true. I read about the subject especially about heart attacks and how pain in women is not as well managed as in men. Basically, doctors think that women are just hysterical and exaggerating when they complain of pain and are less likely to get proper pain medication as compared to men.

I was reading recently an article about bad sex and what it means for men and women. Men stated that bad sex equaled boring and women mentioned pain and how they still have sex and suffer despite of the pain. Also doctors didn't take seriously their complaints when it came to painful sex and just told them to relax. I read a local board of women who were diagnosed with endometriosis and one of them went to the GP because of painful intercourse. The GP told her: just drink some wine before sex and it will be better. Not to mention women whose relationships were destroyed because of this and they got a diagnosis much, much later after fighting tooth and nail.

Of course, if you talk about this there will be the "what about men" brigade who complain that women get too much attention with free pap smears and breast check-ups. I don't know about other places, but where i live there have been so many cuts from healthcare that you get a call for pap smear once in five years. And if you have lady issues and need a gynecologist, well, good luck in getting money to go to a private hospital. It took me 19 years to get diagnosed with endometriosis. And if you need a laparoscopy, you have to wait for it about 6 months or even more. But by no way, bark at women because they get free pap smears once in 5 years.

I read somewhere that Carrie Fisher was very sick on the plane and was vomiting. Well, a sign of a massive heart attack in women is severe nausea and vomiting, but how many people recognize it as such as opposed to something else? As a result, a beloved icon dies.

Blackpearl, I read the same article on what bad sex means between men and women and how, even in 2018, women's health isn't taken seriously. It's how Planned Parenthood gets reduced down to be abortion providers, even when that's patently false. The fact that they offer women's health services at a reduced cost to marginalized communities means nothing.

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"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
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"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
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Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
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