Moo article "Having it all kinda sucks" February 19, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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moo
Except actually, that’s what happens to all but the very very rich when you encourage women to work and have children but don’t change any other part of the world they live in.
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moo
No woman (or man, for that matter) ever said, hey, you know what would be great? If I could get up at 5 a.m., make breakfast for everyone, then get dressed (with heels, natch), drop my kids off at daycare, go to work for 10 hours, pick the kids up, come home, cook dinner, clean up, put the kids to bed, work in bed ’til midnight so I don’t get behind at work, then do it all again tomorrow on 5 hours sleep.
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moo
We applaud companies for paying for female employees to freeze their eggs, but don’t push them to give women the space to have children during their actual child-bearing years and come back to work without losing their place in line.
Re: Moo article "Having it all kinda sucks" February 20, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
Re: Moo article "Having it all kinda sucks" February 20, 2018 | Registered: 7 years ago Posts: 651 |
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freyaQuote
moo
No woman (or man, for that matter) ever said, hey, you know what would be great? If I could get up at 5 a.m., make breakfast for everyone, then get dressed (with heels, natch), drop my kids off at daycare, go to work for 10 hours, pick the kids up, come home, cook dinner, clean up, put the kids to bed, work in bed ’til midnight so I don’t get behind at work, then do it all again tomorrow on 5 hours sleep.
Appreciate the honesty but you can't claim ignorance or lack of awareness after the first one was born. Apparently having 2 was more important.
Re: Moo article "Having it all kinda sucks" February 20, 2018 | Registered: 7 years ago Posts: 651 |
Re: Moo article "Having it all kinda sucks" February 20, 2018 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,198 |
Re: Moo article "Having it all kinda sucks" February 20, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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cfuter
First of all, you can't even claim ignorance even before the first brat. This is part of the reason CFs don't want this. You talk to and hear it from other moos all the time, especially wanna-moos have these convos w/ moos, so it is NO surprise. All you have to do it sit back and think about it, you would know this would be your day. I know I figured it out w/o having one pop out.Quote
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moo
No woman (or man, for that matter) ever said, hey, you know what would be great? If I could get up at 5 a.m., make breakfast for everyone, then get dressed (with heels, natch), drop my kids off at daycare, go to work for 10 hours, pick the kids up, come home, cook dinner, clean up, put the kids to bed, work in bed ’til midnight so I don’t get behind at work, then do it all again tomorrow on 5 hours sleep.
Appreciate the honesty but you can't claim ignorance or lack of awareness after the first one was born. Apparently having 2 was more important.
Re: Moo article "Having it all kinda sucks" February 20, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,830 |
Re: Moo article "Having it all kinda sucks" February 20, 2018 | Registered: 7 years ago Posts: 651 |
Re: Moo article "Having it all kinda sucks" February 20, 2018 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 880 |
Re: Moo article "Having it all kinda sucks" February 20, 2018 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 353 |
Re: Moo article "Having it all kinda sucks" February 21, 2018 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 198 |
Re: Moo article "Having it all kinda sucks" February 21, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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freya
Almost all of us have had all the same stresses and tribulations as parents except the parenting part. Life isn't easy even if you're a single 20 something, it typically involves being overworked and underpaid. And it is necessary to eat, have a place to sleep and pay utilities so not a luxury. Children aren't a necessity. I have tried to explain this to parents but they really don't get it. They seem to focus on the romantic parts of being young and an adult. It is this focus on the romantic parts that gets them in trouble with having more kids than they can handle. We didn't get the perma rose colored glasses inserted at birth that make us think children are a joy.
Re: Moo article "Having it all kinda sucks" February 21, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
Re: Moo article "Having it all kinda sucks" February 21, 2018 | Registered: 7 years ago Posts: 651 |
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ondinette
Maybe when people have kids one partner should stay home or work very little. I just don't know how to change society to make that happen without being unfair to the unchilded. I've heard of people practicing "voluntary simplicity" which is living a minimalist life, so one parent can stay home with the kids. Good idea, but the kids probably complain endlessly about not having designer clothes of the latest electronic toy.
Re: Moo article "Having it all kinda sucks" February 21, 2018 | Registered: 7 years ago Posts: 651 |
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yurble
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freya
Almost all of us have had all the same stresses and tribulations as parents except the parenting part. Life isn't easy even if you're a single 20 something, it typically involves being overworked and underpaid. And it is necessary to eat, have a place to sleep and pay utilities so not a luxury. Children aren't a necessity. I have tried to explain this to parents but they really don't get it. They seem to focus on the romantic parts of being young and an adult. It is this focus on the romantic parts that gets them in trouble with having more kids than they can handle. We didn't get the perma rose colored glasses inserted at birth that make us think children are a joy.
I often think that's the main difference between the CF and breeders. We are capable of seeing things as they are (so are PNB ), whereas they have to romanticize the dingy parts of it and thus are surprised when a predictable reality bites them in the ass. They can believe things like that children are innocent despite having been children, or that the world is a good place, despite being capable of taking in the news, or that children are a blessing, despite having a rough idea of the work they entail.
Re: Moo article "Having it all kinda sucks" February 21, 2018 | Registered: 7 years ago Posts: 651 |
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yurble
This whole thing sounds like hell to me. But then, I have made choices to have the kind of life I want. The kind of life I want isn't about keeping up with the Joneses, either in terms of consumer goods or children, so I can prioritize the things I want over money, once I've met my expenses, which I deliberately keep low.
So I have time to cook healthy meals (something I enjoy doing), get a full night's sleep, and unwind at night by pursuing hobbies. I find my work interesting and challenging but not stressful.
And every single one of these things came about because of the deliberate choices I made to move my life in that direction. I was never dumb enough to think I could have all that and a high-powered, high-earning career as well, so I chose the things that make me happy.
Not everyone is made happy by the same things, but it doesn't take being a genius to think about what makes you happy, and to make choices that move you closer to that goal. I have no sympathy for people whose circumstances are the result of bad choices, as opposed to circumstances beyond their control. This woman's situation is almost entirely down to her own decisions.