Boomerange children damage parental wellbeing

Children boomeranging to an empty nest lower the quality of life for their parents. Who would have thunk it? Just one more problem I'm so glad I opted out of.

I saw that on Reddit. Of course, it was on the r/lostgeneration sub where the heading was "greedy boomers snap up all the housing and resent offspring for living at home". I'm sick and tired of the millenniels whining about the evil baby boomers, and how good they had it. Yeah right, try growing up during the cold war and being told that the world could blow up any day or facing the draft.[/oldfogeyrant]

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JoJo
I saw that on Reddit. Of course, it was on the r/lostgeneration sub where the heading was "greedy boomers snap up all the housing and resent offspring for living at home". I'm sick and tired of the millenniels whining about the evil baby boomers, and how good they had it. Yeah right, try growing up during the cold war and being told that the world could blow up any day or facing the draft.[/oldfogeyrant]

When I started employment it was still legal for employers to blatantly request male only applicants for jobs.
My entire working life had frequent gender discrimination for myself and other women, both blatant and subtle.
Although things are still not fair, it is much improved from 35 years ago.

I'm a Gen Xer, but my husband is a Baby Boomer. We both grew up in what amounts to poverty and abuse. He had to work HARD to get to where he is today, and even now we struggle with financial issues. Things have gotten much better, and we have a roof over our heads which we own, plenty of lovely things, a car, and plenty of food in the pantry, freezers and fridges. Just because we're older and own our own home doesn't mean we're rolling in the dough.

I don't get where these entitlement minded little fucks get off bitching about the Boomers. The fact that there are few jobs? Sure, there were more jobs in my husband's time, but they were hard. He has made and lost a lot of money in his time, but over all, he had to work his ass off his whole life. Thankfully, I'm in school now and studying for a career, so he hopefully can retire soon. Nothing was handed to us on a silver platter. Housing prices may have been cheaper back then, but there were a whole lot of other things going on.

They have so much more than what we had when we were growing up.

Housing prices may have been cheaper, but interest rates were 12-18%. There are also a lot of younger boomers who got laid off and found themselves unable to find a job, but too young to get SS or Medicare. Part of the problem is they don't want to start off with roommates or living in a dump with a beanbag chair like we did.

You should read the comments on that sub. They're constantly whining that the boomers have more money than them. Well yeah, 40-50 years in the workforce will do that for you. Of course someone who's been working for 50 years will have accummulated more wealth and property on the average than someone who's been in the workforce for 1-10 years.

One of them even whined that "boomers should give everything they have to us, then kill themselves". Not bloody likely. Comments like that make me want to vote republican and live forever.

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JoJo
I saw that on Reddit. Of course, it was on the r/lostgeneration sub where the heading was "greedy boomers snap up all the housing and resent offspring for living at home". I'm sick and tired of the millenniels whining about the evil baby boomers, and how good they had it. Yeah right, try growing up during the cold war and being told that the world could blow up any day or facing the draft.[/oldfogeyrant]

I didn't know about that sub and just looked at it. That is 10 minutes of my life I can never get back. Whiny millennials blaming all their problems on boomers. No wonder they can't get a job.


While millennials bitch about college costs to good schools, back in my day Harvard Univ. was $10k/year tuition. That didn't include books, housing, food, and any other costs. State schools were cheaper, but were still expensive for their time. I went to state, and everybody I know was on work study plans and/or college loans, because their parents didn't have the money to pay for college. Only the rich kids had their college paid for by their parents.

When you graduated and looked for a job, the people from the Ivies and prestigious schools got the jobs first. All the state grads had to compete for what was left. Starting salaries were low for state grads and rents were high. Everybody shared an apartment with their friends. You should have seen the dump my friends lived in after graduation. $500/month for a bedroom, bathroom and kitchen, with paint peeling from the walls and broken kitchen cabinets. Oh, and that was cheaper rent, too.

Nobody I knew bought a house in their early 20's or got married young. Everybody was focused on their career.

When I see or hear whiny millennials thinking that my generation had it so good, I just want to bitch slap them because we didn't have it good, we worked for everything we had, and delayed gratification was the norm. I was told that "we don't hire women." One woman I know was fired for her job in her 9th month of pregnancy and outright told that any woman with a baby/small child should not be working. I've had professors and male coworkers grope me and outright hit on me. Nothing was done back then because sexual harassment was non-existent. If I complained, I suffered the consequences, not the perp. The same went for campus rape. Dare to report it and the univ. covered it up and tried to blame the victim. And heaven forbid if you weren't dating anybody because maybe you wanted to focus on your studies or career, or maybe you found the men unattractive in some way. Then they'd spread rumors that you must be a lesbian, because how could any woman resist such nice guys?

It's funny. My sister is 60, and she found a job. I know other older workers who all found work. If us old fogey types can find work, then it should be a piece of cake for a millennial. Oh wait, it couldn't be that maybe those young workers are complaining, always on their phones, expecting $60k as a starting salary, and wanting everybody to cater to them, could it?

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Peace
It's funny. My sister is 60, and she found a job. I know other older workers who all found work. If us old fogey types can find work, then it should be a piece of cake for a millennial. Oh wait, it couldn't be that maybe those young workers are complaining, always on their phones, expecting $60k as a starting salary, and wanting everybody to cater to them, could it?

Nah! Don't you know we all went to college for free, then picked a six figure job off the job tree (ignore any rumors about the 1979-1983 or 1990-1992 recessions), and bought a mansion for $10,000?

The real problem is that the participation trophy generation is being hit by the unflinching bitchslap of reality.

Eh, my parents are boomers and by the time they were my age they owned the type of home that I'll only ever be able to dream of affording. If the house I grew up in went on the market, I would not be able to buy it.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

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cassia

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JoJo
I saw that on Reddit. Of course, it was on the r/lostgeneration sub where the heading was "greedy boomers snap up all the housing and resent offspring for living at home". I'm sick and tired of the millenniels whining about the evil baby boomers, and how good they had it. Yeah right, try growing up during the cold war and being told that the world could blow up any day or facing the draft.[/oldfogeyrant]

When I started employment it was still legal for employers to blatantly request male only applicants for jobs.
My entire working life had frequent gender discrimination for myself and other women, both blatant and subtle.
Although things are still not fair, it is much improved from 35 years ago.

I remember when my Mom came home from the bank in tears. She was asking for a loan of a couple of thousand dollars to buy a lifetime gym membership with, and the bank told her she'd have to get her husband's signature on the papers.
(Made my Dad right angry as well - he went down to that bank and gave the manager what-for.)

Years later I grew up and got a job at a bank as a teller. The young guy they hired at the same time for a teller position got $350 a month more than I did to start. (In those days, $350 was serious money for an entry-level job.)

In short, I agree: Babyboomers didn't have it easy when we were coming up. I'm tired of the millennials squawking about how we "took everything" as though we were purposefully keeping it from them.

I find the generation wars thing rather silly, it seems to be mostly stereotypes driven by the media to attract eyeballs. Stupid things are said for both sides, be it that Boomers didn't have to struggle, or that Millennials could own homes if they'd stop eating avocado toast. Two things are true: first that every generation has had struggles, and second that things change over time and it's hard to compare the struggles of one generation to the struggles of the other. Millennials are more prone to forget point one, older people are more prone to forget point two.

An example: I'm Gen X. My father was able to put himself through university working a skilled side job for a decent wage. By the time I went to school, such a thing was impossible. I was only considered qualified for a minimum wage job, and working it full-time didn't even cover living expenses. However, once I was about halfway through school I was able to pick up some side jobs in my area of expertise which did pay well. Millennials would be expected to do the kind of work I did for free, under the guise of internships. Things change. My father had to work really hard to study, but Millennials can't get paid for their labor. Both situations suck.

The fundamental problem, as I see it, is that people expect life to be fair. It isn't. And to some extent, everyone able to complain about it has won the lottery in terms of quality of life, because there are plenty of people in the world with no opportunity to complain about their circumstances. I'm not saying people should shut up and not demand better, but that they should recognize the extent of their luck and pick their battles. There are serious, human-caused issues, such as the extent of environmental destruction over the last half century, or discrimination, which are well worth trying to fix. But there are other things, like that you don't always get what you want, and you can't stay young forever, which are fundamental to life itself, and complaining about that only makes you look petulant. There's only one solution for that, and that is to stop dragging new people into an inherently unjust existence.

Oh, and things like a shortage of homes and the affordability of housing...also solved if population growth is reversed. With too many people resources are strained, and it is only going to get worse.

Additional thoughts on the generation wars, I feel like every generation is subject to the complaints of earlier generations, and also complains about the previous generations during youth, then takes on the earlier generation role in late middle age. Some complaints will be legitimate, but a lot will be bitterness over growing older or whinging over not getting to be in charge.

My parents are Silent generation, and my own generation could be Gen Invisible for all that we're noticed right now, despite being sandwiched between Boomers and Millennials. I don't think I've heard anyone complaining since the '90s that we're all a bunch of slackers!

Through the early 80's my father worked in an office were most people smoked. He did have a great job outside of high school but there are things that were annoying and sitting in a suit or business attire around a bunch of smokers was definitely on the list. I recall as a kid expecting life to be fair and it often was not. I was fully prepared to work hard once I graduated college but I don't think there is anything that could have prepared me for the near poverty I experienced once graduating college.

Since that time I've moved to the West coast and there are plenty of millennials here who are earning well into the 6 figures as engineers. I think a big part of it is recognizing the best opportunities in the workforce and going for it. Since moving here and away from the bible belt the amount of sexism I've experienced has declined dramatically. It has been possible for me to pull myself out of the near poverty, whereas in the bible belt I wasn't taken seriously as a single woman in her 20's and often experienced overt sexism. I had to give up a business that was doing reasonably well but at the same time I was experiencing serious age bias and also gender discrimination. And I moved here in the early 2000's!

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JoJo
I saw that on Reddit. Of course, it was on the r/lostgeneration sub where the heading was "greedy boomers snap up all the housing and resent offspring for living at home". I'm sick and tired of the millenniels whining about the evil baby boomers, and how good they had it. Yeah right, try growing up during the cold war and being told that the world could blow up any day or facing the draft.[/oldfogeyrant]

Melinials are facing huge problems but they aren't caused by the Baby Boomer generation in general. They are caused by greedy mother fuckers who are trying to possess it all, and those are from any generation.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

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Peace

It's funny. My sister is 60, and she found a job. I know other older workers who all found work. If us old fogey types can find work, then it should be a piece of cake for a millennial. Oh wait, it couldn't be that maybe those young workers are complaining, always on their phones, expecting $60k as a starting salary, and wanting everybody to cater to them, could it?

I had it hard as well, although I didn't get a job. I can't work because I would soon be in the nut house or hospital if I tried to work and lose my medical coverage. My health is precarious at best. I take $3000 in medications a month to maintain my current equilibrium. Because of medical and physical problems, I could die without them.

I am an Aspie, back in the days before being Autistic was the fashionable thing for a bratty sprog to be, I was learning how to mainstream. I also have a number of other mental health disorders to cope with. I've had to and continue to live with roommates as social security disability doesn't pay much.

My mother was instrumental in creating a person who was able to blend into society so well that people don't believe me when I tell them I'm Aspie.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

I think what bothers me is the sheer vitriol that these Millennials are spewing out about the Baby Boomers in general. Even our local radio station, the CBC, is broadcasting stories about how resentful and hateful these whiny little brats are about the BBs.

My husband kind of laughs it off, but even HE has had to deal with this mentality where he works. He has been in his job for over twenty years now and has a lot of great experience and knowledge. As far as the Ms are concerned, he should just fuck off and die because he's older. They talk about wanting to bring in 'new blood' but when they do, more fuckups ensue. Entitlement is high and work productivity isn't. He isn't treated like and equal, and a lot of people don't listen to his advice on certain things, even if it is rock solid.

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mumofsixbirds
My husband kind of laughs it off, but even HE has had to deal with this mentality where he works. He has been in his job for over twenty years now and has a lot of great experience and knowledge. As far as the Ms are concerned, he should just fuck off and die because he's older. They talk about wanting to bring in 'new blood' but when they do, more fuckups ensue. Entitlement is high and work productivity isn't. He isn't treated like and equal, and a lot of people don't listen to his advice on certain things, even if it is rock solid.

I've dealt with both sides of it: younger people who don't want to work at all but think they should be earning the same as people with years of experience and have decision-making power, and older people who don't want to change inefficient processes or business models that no longer make sense (i.e., Millennials "killing" everything) because "that's how we've always done it". As I see it, there are idiots in every generation.

I agree with Yurble

At my job, millennial entitlement can be high. In the past, I mentored new employees because I was asked to. But ya know, they always knew more than me because I was "old," thus I must be tired and on the way out...they didn't want to have the required meetings because it was a waste of time when they had paperwork to do. They knew it all. Recent college grad with a BA and they were top of their game, even with no experience...

Until some major issue happened, then they came crawling to me for help.

I am still asked several times each year to mentor, only this time I delete the email requests. Since millennials are so smart, they can figure things out on their own. If they fail, they have only themselves to blame. Their snotty attitude makes experienced people like me refuse to help them in any way.

I wonder if the entitlement comes from the the media and such always gushing on about youth and their 'mastery' of technology and being 'tech-natives,' pumping them up over how 'important' they are and how they will take over as some sort of progressive wave of the future. I think they get a big ego from this, because the emphasis on youth is really big in the media, and Millenials are 'young' right now.

And this gooing over how 'special' they are obviously beginning in school and with their parents.

I say this as a 'Xillenial' (too young to be Gen-X, just shy of Millennial) and even I sense this entitlement mentality. I have a feeling it is dangerous to have this mentality, it likely makes the mind as fragile as glass when severe hardship or high expectations are not met. Either they might go on a rampage, or they go into a neurotic depression and stop functioning.

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nightfire
I wonder if the entitlement comes from the the media and such always gushing on about youth and their 'mastery' of technology and being 'tech-natives,' pumping them up over how 'important' they are and how they will take over as some sort of progressive wave of the future. I think they get a big ego from this, because the emphasis on youth is really big in the media, and Millenials are 'young' right now.

Oh that fucking "digital native" narrative really pisses me off, as someone in the tech field. Who do they think designed those devices that younger people are supposedly so proficient with? It wasn't young people...

I read up once about the digital native idea and it isn't scientifically supported. It is a marketing idea, introduced by someone who wanted to sell the idea of schools paying his company to convert their textbooks into games, supposedly the ideal "learning environment" for youth. The truth is more what I've observed: younger people are highly proficient at manipulating digital interfaces because they've been part of their environment, but there are very few who show any more understanding of the underlying technology than a lab rat understands the mechanism that releases food when it presses the button it has learned to trigger.

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yurble

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nightfire
I wonder if the entitlement comes from the the media and such always gushing on about youth and their 'mastery' of technology and being 'tech-natives,' pumping them up over how 'important' they are and how they will take over as some sort of progressive wave of the future. I think they get a big ego from this, because the emphasis on youth is really big in the media, and Millenials are 'young' right now.

Oh that fucking "digital native" narrative really pisses me off, as someone in the tech field. Who do they think designed those devices that younger people are supposedly so proficient with? It wasn't young people...

I read up once about the digital native idea and it isn't scientifically supported. It is a marketing idea, introduced by someone who wanted to sell the idea of schools paying his company to convert their textbooks into games, supposedly the ideal "learning environment" for youth. The truth is more what I've observed: younger people are highly proficient at manipulating digital interfaces because they've been part of their environment, but there are very few who show any more understanding of the underlying technology than a lab rat understands the mechanism that releases food when it presses the button it has learned to trigger.

Which is true, all of the phones, tablets and computers are little more then glorified button pushing in response to a stimulus. It might be however that they have often heard parents (not necessarily their own) declare their own inadequacy with technology, mention (with thinly veiled pride) how smart their kid is and that this kid figured out how to program the DVR or helped them with how to use the mobile phone. Kids (and teens) hearing this might assume 'old people' have not a great proficiency with technology, and not that those bright virtual buttons and multiple stacking menus look intimidating.

The other thing with the tablets (and laptops) is that they seem to be replacing physical textbooks. Kids just look stuff up instead of reading and memorizing, and they can use these devices to cheat more easily. I think that there was a fight years ago by some schools to not have this type of technology forced on them, there wasn't enough proof that this stuff even helped and that like you said, it was just a marketing ploy.

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nightfire

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yurble

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nightfire
I wonder if the entitlement comes from the the media and such always gushing on about youth and their 'mastery' of technology and being 'tech-natives,' pumping them up over how 'important' they are and how they will take over as some sort of progressive wave of the future. I think they get a big ego from this, because the emphasis on youth is really big in the media, and Millenials are 'young' right now.

Oh that fucking "digital native" narrative really pisses me off, as someone in the tech field. Who do they think designed those devices that younger people are supposedly so proficient with? It wasn't young people...

I read up once about the digital native idea and it isn't scientifically supported. It is a marketing idea, introduced by someone who wanted to sell the idea of schools paying his company to convert their textbooks into games, supposedly the ideal "learning environment" for youth. The truth is more what I've observed: younger people are highly proficient at manipulating digital interfaces because they've been part of their environment, but there are very few who show any more understanding of the underlying technology than a lab rat understands the mechanism that releases food when it presses the button it has learned to trigger.

Which is true, all of the phones, tablets and computers are little more then glorified button pushing in response to a stimulus. It might be however that they have often heard parents (not necessarily their own) declare their own inadequacy with technology, mention (with thinly veiled pride) how smart their kid is and that this kid figured out how to program the DVR or helped them with how to use the mobile phone. Kids (and teens) hearing this might assume 'old people' have not a great proficiency with technology, and not that those bright virtual buttons and multiple stacking menus look intimidating.

The other thing with the tablets (and laptops) is that they seem to be replacing physical textbooks. Kids just look stuff up instead of reading and memorizing, and they can use these devices to cheat more easily. I think that there was a fight years ago by some schools to not have this type of technology forced on them, there wasn't enough proof that this stuff even helped and that like you said, it was just a marketing ploy.

I'm so happy for all these topics. I'm glad someone in the biz actually said it. It always seemed that much of the latest technology, is just an avenue for consumerism, not so-called progress towards the future.

One problem w/ tech, is EVERYONE of all ages is not really using it the same, not solely based on competency, but based on habit, laziness, priorities, willingness to be constantly bothered, whatever. You have people who do everything online because that's the future, doncha know, but also then think it's ok not to check their email for a month. Which makes no sense.

But back to the younger people allegedly knowing more than older folks......There would be random like FYI emails that went around at work, oh Katie found out if you press control + z you can undo text that you did..........umm..................yeah, been using it for 10 yrs.........and no one even says anything about it. So, me, a Luddite of sorts, knows more about a simple function than someone 20yrs my junior, and no one including her, realizes this is something many people should already know. The young tech liaison couldn't even figure out more than one way to cut and paste in certain documents. "It can't be done" um, no......... and I'd do it.....I'd be, "I must be a genius!" (plus most of what I learned over the yrs is self taught by fooling w/ the computer) I had a whole office of people who worked on a computer for 10-20 yrs, but if you asked them to do the slightest thing at home on their computer, they'd totally be lost. People of all ages, including youth, are nothing but button pushers.

"Digital Native" only means that kids were swiping at tablets and phones as toddlers or babies.

Boomers were using computers back when they were TOUCHY as hell. Even my mother, a Silent Generation was using a computer at work, one of those punch card jobs that if you looked at them rough they crashed.

I too taught myself around a PC in 1997, and switched to Linux in '94 I think with a friend's help. Still can't stand Windows, a nosey operating system that downloads shit without your permission and loaded with more bloat than Fat Albert.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

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nightfire
Which is true, all of the phones, tablets and computers are little more then glorified button pushing in response to a stimulus. It might be however that they have often heard parents (not necessarily their own) declare their own inadequacy with technology, mention (with thinly veiled pride) how smart their kid is and that this kid figured out how to program the DVR or helped them with how to use the mobile phone. Kids (and teens) hearing this might assume 'old people' have not a great proficiency with technology, and not that those bright virtual buttons and multiple stacking menus look intimidating.

Which makes me want to say: your learned helplessness does not make me a genius.

On a members-only forum I belong to, another member who is involved with hiring decisions at his employer has called the millennials "worthless snowflakes". He wasn't joking or being sarcastic. He meant it.

For your amusement, check out this video on interviewing a millennial. It's parody (well, sort of), but it goes a long way toward explaining the boomerang phenomenon:

Job interview with a millennial