Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 21, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,826 |
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 21, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,701 |
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 21, 2018 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,196 |
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he says "Hi" and wants to send his "Love and support.
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 21, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,826 |
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 21, 2018 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,196 |
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As if I was going to ruin my relationship with my husband and run back to care for him and his sprog
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 21, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,701 |
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 21, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 3,003 |
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 22, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,432 |
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 22, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,826 |
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 22, 2018 | Registered: 7 years ago Posts: 651 |
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 22, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,826 |
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 23, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,708 |
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cassia
As I matured and learned more about life, I saw that most of those re-connections were for many various reasons (lonely, wanting an ego boost, an affair, missing aspects of me or our former relationship but not really wanting to make an effort, etc) but none of those reasons were good or healthy for me.
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 23, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,708 |
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 24, 2018 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,622 |
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 24, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,432 |
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randomcfchick
I guess I'm in the minority here...I am friends with a couple of my exes, and thus don't always read contact as an attempt at getting into my pants. However, my circumstances with those guys were different (wanted different levels of commitment, or one party was moving and the other opted to stay, etc), and there was no history of abuse. I can understand wanting to permanently steer clear of the guy if he was like that!
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 24, 2018 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,622 |
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yurble
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randomcfchick
I guess I'm in the minority here...I am friends with a couple of my exes, and thus don't always read contact as an attempt at getting into my pants. However, my circumstances with those guys were different (wanted different levels of commitment, or one party was moving and the other opted to stay, etc), and there was no history of abuse. I can understand wanting to permanently steer clear of the guy if he was like that!
No, I am friends with some exes, and very good friends with one. I feel if a person was worth being with in the first place (and I wasn't horribly mistaken - abusive people obviously constitute horrible mistakes), what was good about them doesn't change just because we aren't compatible.
What is suspicious to me is if they've dropped off the radar for years and years - in short, they are not friends - and then they suddenly try to reconnect. The only reason people do that is nostalgia, and nostalgia tends to crop up when one's current life is shit. From nostalgia it's a short trip to trying to relive better days.
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 25, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,432 |
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randomcfchick
The exes I'm friends with weren't instant friends as soon as we broke up, though. We did need time to sort out our lives, let any messy feelings burn off, and so on. We dropped low on each others' radars for a while, then gradually started talking more. BUT...the "no marriage, no commitment" guy who popped up did so after like 10 years or something. I don't think he'd be out looking for some strange...probably just wanting to take a vacation in simpler times, though. I think you have a good point.
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 25, 2018 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,471 |
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 25, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,826 |
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 25, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,708 |
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randomcfchick
I guess I'm in the minority here...I am friends with a couple of my exes, and thus don't always read contact as an attempt at getting into my pants. However, my circumstances with those guys were different (wanted different levels of commitment, or one party was moving and the other opted to stay, etc), and there was no history of abuse. I can understand wanting to permanently steer clear of the guy if he was like that!
freya, your experience with guys magically changing their minds cracked me up, because I've had that happen, too. I really liked this guy and was falling for him, but he made it infinitely clear he was not wanting commitment, etc but at the same time sending some mixed signals. He clearly no commitment, no marriage, and definitely no kids...the only thing we agreed on was no kids. Well, guess who's married, has two toddlers, and lives in a part of the country he swore he'd never inhabit? Yup. Same dude. He, too, did the "Oh, tell her 'hi' and that we should get in touch" message. Yeah...
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 25, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,708 |
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yurble
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randomcfchick
I guess I'm in the minority here...I am friends with a couple of my exes, and thus don't always read contact as an attempt at getting into my pants. However, my circumstances with those guys were different (wanted different levels of commitment, or one party was moving and the other opted to stay, etc), and there was no history of abuse. I can understand wanting to permanently steer clear of the guy if he was like that!
No, I am friends with some exes, and very good friends with one. I feel if a person was worth being with in the first place (and I wasn't horribly mistaken - abusive people obviously constitute horrible mistakes), what was good about them doesn't change just because we aren't compatible.
What is suspicious to me is if they've dropped off the radar for years and years - in short, they are not friends - and then they suddenly try to reconnect. The only reason people do that is nostalgia, and nostalgia tends to crop up when one's current life is shit. From nostalgia it's a short trip to trying to relive better days.
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 26, 2018 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,471 |
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mumofsixbirds
Well, ultimately I don't care. I asked myself the very same question you are asking me, and I think it's because I've only been in two serious relationships my entire life. One with my current husband, and the one I had with my ex. After I left my ex, I moved into a one bedroom apartment and lived alone for many years, only dating from time to time, but nothing serious.
I guess it was a bit of a shock for me to hear he even remembers me, because it was over twenty years ago and our lives have changed so much. I haven't heard a thing from him, and all of a sudden, this strange message. I've decided to leave it alone and if my friend brings it up again, I'll just tell him that it's nice that he remembers me, but my life is not like it was.
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 27, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,826 |
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 27, 2018 | Registered: 7 years ago Posts: 651 |
Re: Ex-boyfriend contacting me through friend and he's a breeder now! March 29, 2018 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,471 |
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cfuter
Always surprised to see how many of my single/divorced friends are so willing to keep in touch w/ men (or women) who were just AWFUL to them. It's one thing just to part ways because the relationship ran its course for whatever reason, but some of the men did terrible stuff to them, like marrying another woman behind their back when planning on marrying my friends with in weeks! But I have one friend after the other who will always take the call or text from these dolts. It's always the guys trying to come back into touch. My friends eager to take the calls, like there's nothing else to do than talk to jerks on the phone after work. I'd rather watch reruns on TV than talk to someone who used and abused me.
Good for you for not taking the bait. Who needs it in your life when you have your spouse's feelings to consider also.