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Should I have a baby to please my dying mother?

Posted by yurble 
Should I have a baby to please my dying mother?
March 25, 2018
Some CF guy is in for a nasty surprise, and I can only hope it's the end of a long-term relationship rather than the oops at least one person recommended in the comments.
Re: Should I have a baby to please my dying mother?
March 25, 2018
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sounds like an irrational bimbo
Due to my age, I knew I had to make a choice between my life with my partner (which I am worried will be consumed by a child) and having a baby. I decided I was going to use the next year to travel and would resolve whether to leave my boyfriend and find a partner who wanted children. However, this timeline has been torn to shreds. It isn’t just for my mother that I want to have a child while she’s alive, it’s also for me, because I would value her help.

In another part of the article the woman states: 1. her mom's been given 2-4 years; 2. her parents are 10 hours away by plane

I read it and thought, help her with what?

Shame on this selfish Moo for pressuring her kid. And her daughter says "she's a great mum, but she's pressuring me to have a baybee" and she's increased it since her diagnosis. She sounds horribly manipulative.
Re: Should I have a baby to please my dying mother?
March 25, 2018
Although based on the article this woman doesnt sound CF at all, she mentiond shes always wanted a baby and hoped her partner would change his mind....
Re: Should I have a baby to please my dying mother?
March 25, 2018
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ladybug2203
Although based on the article this woman doesnt sound CF at all, she mentiond shes always wanted a baby and hoped her partner would change his mind....

She doesn't sound CF, but her partner does. I feel sorry for him, stuck for all these years with someone who assumed he'd change his mind. I hope he's taken the precaution of getting a vasectomy.
Re: Should I have a baby to please my dying mother?
March 29, 2018
I know this is going to sound callous, but grandmoo will be dead in a few years, and then won't give a flying fart about the fuck trophy, as she's worm food. Plus, Grandmoo will probably be so coked out on pain meds, that she wouldn't even know there was a crotch nugget around...

However, there is more to that than the bullshit excuse of pushing out a clump for 'dying grandmoo'. Have a look at the last paragraph...

" I don’t know if I would have time to break up, heal, meet someone I could fall in love with, get pregnant and have a baby in the time my mother has left"

Does anyone only see - 'me, me, me'. Putting 2 & 2 together, and her reasoning is; I am determined to get a baby, and use my dying mother as a guilt trip / excuse to get it NOW!!!'. Hell, she even said that she wants to break up with boyfriend to find one that knocks her up.

Yep, just a selfish, manipulative sow with baby rabies, that is so low, will try and guilt trip to force a babby!

Sounds like a wonderful parent!
Re: Should I have a baby to please my dying mother?
March 29, 2018
Her mother has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and she wants to sluice now so she can have her mother's help with the loaf?
This has so much fail right there that I'm baffled. Not only that, but her partner of 12 years doesn't want kids? He needs to get that vasectomy NOW before an oops happens.

This wannamoo is only thinking about herself and not the others involved in HER decision. I'm sure her mother who is DYING would LOVE to help her raise her steaming DNA sack.

The selfishness. It fucking BURNS.

ETA: This is what happens to soooo many breeders in the end. That familiar bingo, "Who will take care of you when you're old" is such a stupid argument as to why anyone should have loaves. Her mother needs HER help in her last days alive. She doesn't need more work and shit heaped up on her in her final days.
Re: Should I have a baby to please my dying mother?
March 29, 2018
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mumofsixbirds
Her mother has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and she wants to sluice now so she can have her mother's help with the loaf?
This has so much fail right there that I'm baffled.

And her mother lives 10 hours away by plane.
Re: Should I have a baby to please my dying mother?
March 29, 2018
If you have had a good relationship with your parents, their impending death is a traumatic event. When you don't it can also be traumatic because: 1. you'll never get a resolution of the relationship; and 2 if they were assholes during their life, illness, disability and death turn most people into even bigger assholes.

On a second reading, this stood out once again:

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I decided I was going to use the next year to travel and would resolve whether to leave my boyfriend and find a partner who wanted children. However, this timeline has been torn to shreds.

There is no reason this timeline is "torn to shreds," other than her irrationality and panic. Smart people know you don't want to make a decision during a high stress time. Some problems can't be fixed and death is one of them. Having a baybee won't magically make this situation better Her mother is still going to die. It is very unfair to the boyfriend, the potential kid, everyone.

QFT:

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Her mother needs HER help in her last days alive. She doesn't need more work and shit heaped up on her in her final days.

If this woman wants to spend time with her Moo, having a baybee is only going to complicate this scenario. She'll be dragging her loaf on a 10 hour, cross continental flight. And she will immediately lose flexibility if she sluices.

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" I don’t know if I would have time to break up, heal, meet someone I could fall in love with, get pregnant and have a baby in the time my mother has left"

She forgot: get divorced, because she was only looking for a willing sperm donor.

Both these women sound demented.
Re: Should I have a baby to please my dying mother?
March 30, 2018
Wow, hope that poor CF boyfriend got the snip already, because this lady clearly has her own agenda and his thoughts/feelings/needs don't figure into it at ALL.

This lady sounds self-centered...not just because she wants a baby and views her boyfriend as a free sperm bank, but also because she somehow views her dying mom as some sort of source of help. And as yurble pointed out, the aforementioned dying mom is 10 hours away by PLANE. That tells me that Mom is across at least one ocean.

People do really irrational things when faced with a loved one's impending death. Often those irrational things will involve upping one's visible commitment level with a S.O. They'll suddenly want to move in together or get married or engaged or buy a house together, because they're fucking terrified of dealing with mortality. I'd be willing to bet someone like her has a ton of unresolved shit about mortality in general, and her own mortality specifically. Her boyfriend's mortality...eh, not so much. She already views him as a sperm bank.
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