Resisting the urge to respond to breeder entitlement

I participate in a reenactment group that can be as cheap or expensive as you want. I just saw someone complaining on one of our forums (with the caveat of "I'm not looking for advice, just want to whine"). Guy says he's working on the monthly budget and specifically mentions worrying he's not saving anything "at the moment" for his kid's college fund. He then goes on to say our hobby isn't a cheap one, which is bullshit-- you can get by on a shoestring if you choose to. I know, because I do. He goes on to say he won't start new hobby projects, except he knows he won't stick to that. He whines a little more about money being stressful, then says he's considering starting a gfm-type page, but says how do you ask fellow paycheck to paycheck hobbyists to fund your hobby?

Simple fucking answer: DON'T. Suck it up, buttercup, and take care of the child you decided to have. Drop out of the hobby if you have to; trust me, it won't miss you. Fuck right the hell off and try to be a decent parent.

I would love to tell him exactly that, but I really don't want to get involved in Teh Drama.

Why is it that GFM is the first place whiners go to get others to subsidize their lifestyles? What ever happened to quaint ideas like downsize your budget or get a part time job?

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Tiquer
Why is it that GFM is the first place whiners go to get others to subsidize their lifestyles? What ever happened to quaint ideas like downsize your budget or get a part time job?

Or even a fucking jar you throw your own change into. It adds up.

Panhandling. It isn't just in the streets anymore.
Sounds like is already soft-core begging to your group in hopes that "someone" ponies up to pay for his hobby.
He could always use his tax refund, the large one he gets for having kids. You could always offer him words, such as, "but it is all worth it, isn't it?"
Or he could start a GFM account and hope someone decides to send him money instead of helping someone else out with paying for cancer treatments. Because it is all about priorities!

I've been around a number of parents who think they don't have much money and they all are very talented at the passive begging. It is more than a little annoying when out at restaurants and it means covering a famblee of five. People used to have pride, self-sufficiency and the sense to only ask in case of a rare emergency. Not anymore.

He sounds like one of those people who think kids are a non-optional entitlement.

If your hobby is so expensive and exclusive that you can't find stuff on resale sites or make it yourself, you need a new hobby. Some of my glass is NOT cheap and double helix is expensive as fuck on some sites ($15 for a single rod). However, I have found that people like to get rid of their glass through resale sites and I have gotten literally a shit-ton of it for less than $50. It's called actually looking into how to make your hobby as cost effective as possible. You don't go to gofuckme for your hobby.

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"It is better not to look like what you are; it is better to look like a bourgeois woman because then all the doors are open for you and then you can just go and make hell." - Marjane Satrapi

This is, on the face of it, whining about money. But I think it's also whining about time. In any hobby, there are two kinds of people: those who put in hours because they have limited funds and take great pleasure in the outcome, and those who just throw down money for a few hours of the experience. I think the first type has a lot more fun.

In any costuming sort of event, you can tell who just threw money at it so they could do it a couple times a year, and who worked during the year in anticipation of those events. The shallowness of the experience of throwing money at it leaks through, and those people wind up not having as much fun as they remember having.

He thinks he can buy the sort of experience he used to have, but he can't, even if he had the money for it. He'll drift away, although not soon enough to suit the rest of the group, I'm sure.

Hobbies can be expensive. It sounds like this person can't afford it, and now expects 'da village' to pay for his fun.

I recently got into the idea of building a dollhouse. I have some second-hand dolls, some inexpensive miniature items from Ebay, and I'm going to repurpose and old cabinet for the house itself. Some of the dollhouses that I saw on the net are absolutely gorgeous, but they are super expensive. Many of them are upwards of $1000. I just can't afford it. I've decided to create my own, and I am looking forward to starting it.

Some of my ideas I've picked off of Pinterest. I even saw a dollhouse made out of an old guitar. It was really cool. I am planning on making my own curtains, beddings and wallpaper myself. There are tons of websites that show you how to do this, and even make your own furniture.

I don't understand why people feel entitled to beg on the net for every little thing they want. It is getting absolutely stupid. With things like Google, you can look up all kinds of ways to save money on a number of different hobbies and interests. I would direct this guy to one of those sites.

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freya

I've been around a number of parents who think they don't have much money and they all are very talented at the passive begging. It is more than a little annoying when out at restaurants and it means covering a famblee of five. People used to have pride, self-sufficiency and the sense to only ask in case of a rare emergency. Not anymore.

Yes, years ago, my SIL heavy-handedly hinted that her baby boy( yes baby, so the kid didn't ask for it) needed a sled that his CF aunt and uncle should buy for him. My hub shut her down saying we already bought gifts, cuz he already decided that we were giving out Bonds for all kid gifts(this was when the interest was better) . But she never even talks to us directly (usually all communication goes thru the mom) but suddenly she can when she wants something.

Then 5 yrs later when Bratley was getting older, after she spent all their money on making the older girl's bedroom into a princess paradise, she single-handedly decided that CF aunt/uncle didnt need uncle's childhood dresser set and we should give it to her and kid. Literally decided this for us. She doesn't hang at our house often, but she knew we had more than one bedroom, and she knew we had this dresser set at 2 other households, but decided we didnt need it anymore (we have it in an extra room and yes, it is full of clothes) . She literally has no shame when I came to us. I mean I think her mom coulda bought her one if they needed it( not that I condone that either) before she brashly decided what her brother did and didnt need in his new house. No shame no shame. CF uncle looked at her like she was slightly crazy and said he was using it. She was a little gobstopped. Like we were just gonna hand it over cuz she asked/told us. I just don't understand this lack of shame. And, she lived in a nice suburb, so it's not cuz they were sooo broke, it becuz they spent too much on the best of everything,....except the baby son was a bit treated like a 2nd hand citizen in my book, he got a wicker dresser(aka cheap) while the girl had the Pink Princess Paradise as noted above.


The begging did end, but only becuz CF uncle put an end to it.

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freya
Sounds like is already soft-core begging to your group in hopes that "someone" ponies up to pay for his hobby.

That's my thought. He said specifically he didn't want anyone giving him advice, but I'm guessing he's hoping someone will support the idea of e-panhandling.

I've learned to do so many things so I could participate in my hobbies the way I'd like. I'm not good at all of them, but I'm passable at all of them, and I'm getting better at some. It takes work, time, and yes, a little money, but not nearly as much as it would if I were paying someone else to do things for me.

I'm still amazed, after all this time, that people think having kids shouldn't change their lives....