The "pre-baybee bucket list" May 31, 2018 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,061 |
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" May 31, 2018 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,634 |
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" May 31, 2018 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,199 |
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I was terrified that when I had kids, the identity I had built would be replaced with just one label: mom.
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There's social and personal pressure to abandon pre-baby goals in favor of mothering. Then there's the fact that moms consistently earn less than women without children, as well as federal policies that disproportionately hinder moms, such as the lack of federal paid family leave.
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She was only able to afford to take six weeks off from her job, however, which she says impacted her relationship with her son. "I was really sad because I went back to work in the ER and said, 'OK, I'm going to go pump,' and they just kind of laughed at me, like, 'Good luck with that on a 12-hour shift," Sheehan says. "I couldn't work full time and breastfeed and keep it up." Among some 42 developed countries, the U.S. is the only one without mandatory paid maternity leave on a national level, according to data compiled by the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD). The report found that almost all other OECD countries offer at least three months of paid maternity leave.
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" May 31, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" May 31, 2018 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,364 |
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bell_flower
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I was terrified that when I had kids, the identity I had built would be replaced with just one label: mom.
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" May 31, 2018 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,199 |
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Some bitch actually blasted her in the school paper, saying her (the writer's) own mother had been in the audience, and the writer was mortified on her behalf at being told she was "just a mom" when clearly motherhood was the be-all and end-all of existence.
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" May 31, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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kittehpeoples
My friend was frustrated with that response, obviously, but she told us she stood by what she said. She finally felt like more than just a mom.
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" June 01, 2018 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 1,802 |
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freya
It is sad that everyone in the audience couldn't be happy for her and her accomplishment. It shouldn't have to be their same course in life for them to show some happiness for someone else's success.
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" June 01, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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Tiquer
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freya
It is sad that everyone in the audience couldn't be happy for her and her accomplishment. It shouldn't have to be their same course in life for them to show some happiness for someone else's success.
In theory, I agree. But my experience (and maybe I have the misfortune to know many small-minded, petty, jealous, nasty and unhappy people,) is that the overwhelming majority won't be happy for anyone's success. Ever. On a good day, they will offer some lukewarm snark along the lines of "hmmph, must be nice," and at worst, they will be full-blown assholes.
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" June 02, 2018 | Registered: 5 years ago Posts: 48 |
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" June 02, 2018 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 232 |
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quiltergirl
Spot on Tiquer. Years ago when DH and I bought our house, we had his family over for a BBQ to celebrate. His bitch aunt and bitch SIL sat out side on our front porch bashing us for buying such a big house for just the two of us (3000 sq. ft.). It was total jealousy. Little did they know that all of the front windows were open and I heard the entire bitch session from inside.
Neither one of them ever amounted to much. SIL now lives with her 73yo mother in the mother's home, and aunt (and uncle) have moved into their home their dipshit, heroin user son, his heroin user wife, and their three kids. Karma's a bitch.
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" June 02, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,835 |
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" June 02, 2018 | Registered: 5 years ago Posts: 48 |
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" June 02, 2018 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 1,802 |
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" June 03, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,835 |
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" June 04, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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mumofsixbirds
Yup, ITA with all of the above. My husband and I bought a Mercedes Benz a couple of weeks ago, because we had to replace our car. I'm learning how to drive and needed an automatic versus the standard that we had. I LOVE this car. It is beautiful and it drives like a dream. I told my aunt about us buying the Mercedes, and she just said, "Oh." In a very disappointed tone.
I've named the car Ingrid. She's my first baby, and I love her. I'm taking driving lessons from a reputable driving school, so I'm not too worried about crashing her.
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" June 04, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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quiltergirl
Spot on Tiquer. Years ago when DH and I bought our house, we had his family over for a BBQ to celebrate. His bitch aunt and bitch SIL sat out side on our front porch bashing us for buying such a big house for just the two of us (3000 sq. ft.). It was total jealousy. Little did they know that all of the front windows were open and I heard the entire bitch session from inside.
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" June 04, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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happyhiker
I’ve noticed that there is no end to how jealous parents will criticize how you spend the money they can’t have because of their own decisions. They love to ask how much you paid for something (rude) and then compare it to something less frivolous. I know that my knitting needles are a driver’s education course and my best fountain pen is Christmas for 3 spoiled brats. Only bizzy mawms deserve anything beyond basic needs and the rest of us should spend our spare time and money making them casseroles and bringing them diapers.
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" June 04, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,835 |
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freya
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mumofsixbirds
Yup, ITA with all of the above. My husband and I bought a Mercedes Benz a couple of weeks ago, because we had to replace our car. I'm learning how to drive and needed an automatic versus the standard that we had. I LOVE this car. It is beautiful and it drives like a dream. I told my aunt about us buying the Mercedes, and she just said, "Oh." In a very disappointed tone.
I've named the car Ingrid. She's my first baby, and I love her. I'm taking driving lessons from a reputable driving school, so I'm not too worried about crashing her.
Congratulations on Ingrid. Mercedes Benz is a beautiful car. Why your aunt is disappointed in your new car remains a mystery. Maybe you're realizing a dream she will never experience?
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" June 04, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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freya
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happyhiker
I’ve noticed that there is no end to how jealous parents will criticize how you spend the money they can’t have because of their own decisions. They love to ask how much you paid for something (rude) and then compare it to something less frivolous. I know that my knitting needles are a driver’s education course and my best fountain pen is Christmas for 3 spoiled brats. Only bizzy mawms deserve anything beyond basic needs and the rest of us should spend our spare time and money making them casseroles and bringing them diapers.
Your best fountain pen may be alive and kicking in 10 years, where will the Christmas for 3 spoiled brats be in 10 years? A landfill is the most likely scenario and that seems frivolous to me. Same for your knitting needles.
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" June 04, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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mumofsixbirds
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freya
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mumofsixbirds
Yup, ITA with all of the above. My husband and I bought a Mercedes Benz a couple of weeks ago, because we had to replace our car. I'm learning how to drive and needed an automatic versus the standard that we had. I LOVE this car. It is beautiful and it drives like a dream. I told my aunt about us buying the Mercedes, and she just said, "Oh." In a very disappointed tone.
I've named the car Ingrid. She's my first baby, and I love her. I'm taking driving lessons from a reputable driving school, so I'm not too worried about crashing her.
Congratulations on Ingrid. Mercedes Benz is a beautiful car. Why your aunt is disappointed in your new car remains a mystery. Maybe you're realizing a dream she will never experience?
She's mad because she just spent $42,000 on a Honda SUV. Granted, it's brand new and insured up the ying-yang, but it's no Mercedes. Also, we were able to purchase Ingrid outright. I put her on the debit card. She's all bought and paid for, while my aunt is locked into some sort of ridiculous payment plan through the dealership that's going to suck the life out of her for the next several years.
Re: The "pre-baybee bucket list" June 05, 2018 | Registered: 7 years ago Posts: 32 |
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Tiquer
Mum, enjoy your new car, may you have many happy years together!
But please, please be careful with Ingrid in parking lots. I've seen too many asshole kids (and their asshole parents as well) happily swing battered car doors into nice, well cared for vehicles, as a Fuck You for anyone with the audacity to own something nicer than they have.
Needless to say, I park as far as I can from store entrances, because bizzy moms like to park as close to the door as they can, but it's an unfortunate reality.