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Why do they insist on tracking down birth parunts?

Posted by fleur 
Why do they insist on tracking down birth parunts?
October 18, 2018
(https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/arizona-best-reads/2017/11/30/genetic-ancestry-dna-testing-connects-adoptees-birth-parents-what-happens-next/702738001/)

Why do some people just love drama in their life so much? New DNA testing allows adult adoptees to "easily" find their birth parents on the internet and even find out where they live.

"There is no confidentiality or secrecy anymore," said Luna, an adoptee herself who found her birth mother through DNA testing.

As a CF person, one of the benefits is I don't have to deal with overdramatic family members or feeling obligated to attend stupid famblee gatherings. So why do they want to deal with more family drama than they already get from the family that raised them? Anyways theres probably a good reason you were placed for adoption and your so-called "identity" is with the people who raised you not some stranger.

I find it funny so many of the people in this article are adults, like haven't you accepted yourself yet? And then the ones who advocate for opening records. Like way to go, totally making adoption look unappealing to potential parents and kids believing it acceptable to go between two famblees.

Apparently, DNA testing is exactly accurate and can have many flaws. People today are so shameless and believe anything is acceptable no matter who it hurts.

Re: Why do they insist on tracking down birth parunts?
October 18, 2018
Since this is happening to adoptees and birth parents then expect it to happen to egg/sperm donors next if they allow themselves any kind of genetics/dna testing.

Twenty years ago I considered donating some eggs for a serious amount of cash. Decided against it because of concern that future internet/technology may try to make me liable for kids from the eggs, the invasive surgery, plus overpopulation and the general weirdness of knowing a dna replicant exists. Some weird part of me was terrified that I could somehow get stuck with the dna replicant. Also had concerns that a dna replicant may one day attempt to lay claims to my insurance policy, etc.

Even though I do still owe on my college loans, I never have to worry about receiving an email from a dna replicant who wants to get to know their egg donor because confidentiality no longer exists.
Re: Why do they insist on tracking down birth parunts?
October 19, 2018
I agree with everything you both said. As an older adult, I'm so glad that after certain people age out, I'm going to feel somewhat less obligated into going to certain family affairs. I know the parents/g-parents of the offspring feel different when it's their own stuff, but I wouldn't want to go to endless events and activities that even g-parents go to these days. I'm sure for some it fends off loneliness, but to me it is meaningless busy-ness, and not quality socializing. Granted when I get old, my nephews and nieces aren't gonna feel obligated to visit or take care of me if I need help w/ household or medical because Im just not around much, but so be it. Even if youre nice many people don't really want to do it anyway. I'll have to trust people I hire, or let the robots take over.

I say "More people, more problems" . Adoptees finding me would just create that for me.
Re: Why do they insist on tracking down birth parunts?
October 19, 2018
This is why I don't blame people for going to IVF route. Why spend thousands of dollars, go through an invasive process, adopt the brat, feed, clothe, house and education said brat, just to have them go running back to whatever white trash spawned them?
Re: Why do they insist on tracking down birth parunts?
October 19, 2018
and some donors have been sued for support for the donations. screw them all

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children
and I defy anyone to prove me wrong:

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet I'll put shoes on my pets.

Mankind and its needs (wants) are like unto a black hole. It devours all available resources and it never is full: it merely grows larger and demands more.

Definition of 'wealthy': Anyone who makes more/has more than you do.

Someone pointed out that I'm a realist. And all along I thought I was just a pessimist crossed with a cynic.

Entitlement, thy name is mooooooooooooooo

"Fathom the hypocrisy of a government that requires every citizen to prove
they are insured... but not everyone must prove they are a citizen.
Add to this that, many of those who refuse or are unable to prove they are
citizens, will receive free insurance paid for by those who are.""

I am confused enough already. I do not need outside help.
Re: Why do they insist on tracking down birth parunts?
October 19, 2018
I see a parallel between this and Moos who lose clumps. Just as there are psychotic women who mourn their clumps and ignore their living, breathing kids for that perfect, mythical child that never could exist, some adoptees ignore the parents they had and focus on a mythical parental figure instead. (Note: If someone had an abusive adoptive parent, I could perhaps understand wanting to find a birth parent and biological relatives, but the bottom line is that just because you are genetically related to someone, that someone could still be a shit. With respect to adoptees, I don't see what's wrong with contacting the bio parent, but only if it's desired by the parents. And after that the relationship should only be pursued if it's reciprocal. Anything else is stalking.

The person may not want anything to do with that chapter of his/her life. Even though i'm not adopted, I look at it like this: we all got here somehow. Having children is a biological function. It doesn't mean the people who are doing it are saints, nor are the people being produced saints.

I don't particularly aspire to be like my biological mother even though she's related to me.

I don't understand why people are so enamored of their own DNA anyway. I want to choose the people I spend time with, not feel an obligation simply because we have DNA in common.
Re: Why do they insist on tracking down birth parunts?
October 20, 2018
As an adoptee with a boatload of health problems, I would like to get hands on my family medical history. However, finding out anything about my early life is likely impossible so I never tried.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!
Re: Why do they insist on tracking down birth parunts?
October 21, 2018
Quote
craftyzits
As an adoptee with a boatload of health problems, I would like to get hands on my family medical history. However, finding out anything about my early life is likely impossible so I never tried.

I'm with you, craftyzits. The only reason I would get in touch with my bio-parents is to get family medical history. Apart from that, not interested.
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