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Are you an over extended Breeder? Your mortgage company will GLADLY help you out

Posted by bell_flower 
Check out this info-mercial. It doesn't specifically say that these people are over extended Breeders but it's not hard to figure it out:

1. somebody quit and the fambilee is down to one income, and their credit cards were spiraling out of control.
2. they just bought a brand new SUV. (Gee, I wonder why?)

OF COURSE this mortgage company is happy to help these losers with a home equity loan of $50,000 to pay off their credit cards. This ensures their house will not be paid off anytime soon, and they can keep collecting interest. (And if they operate like most people, they will be in the same position a couple of years later.)

It doesn't take a genius to figure out when you go to one income, you need to SPEND LESS. Perhaps these idiots couldn't afford to have Moomy quit? Perhaps they can't afford to have their little mirakul? I would argue they cannot, if they are pulling the equity out of their house to survive.

Contrast this with a CF couple such as DH and me: We have been in our house 12 years. We were 30% down. We refinanced, but it was to go to a 15 year loan. We are a couple of years away from paying it off.

It never ceases to amaze me how people regard their home equity as "free, fun money." I used to go to a Breeder hairdresser (not for long) who told me when their house value went up around 2007 (right before the crash) they took out equity so she could have a plastic surgery "mommy makeover," because that's so much more important than paying off your house.

https://www.mrcooper.com/cashout/testimonial?utm_source=ExactTarget&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=EMR613_testimonial
I had to take out a second mortgage when I was trying to pay off my gambling debt. We were in serious trouble, and it was the only way we could save ourselves at the time. I was up front and honest with the bank, and told them what had happened. Our house has doubled in equity since we purchased it, and we still have quite a bit left, even with the extra mortgage attached. I am now just about to graduate and start working. I have vowed to pay off the debt myself, because it was my fault that we got to that point in the first place.

I had to change my behavior. I can't spend money like it's water, and we have to be careful about what we buy. I am very aware of that, and I only use my credit card if it is something extremely important.

What I did was irresponsible, and I pay the price for it every day - it's been nearly a year (anniversary is this month) since I've quit gambling, but the guilt of what I did haunts me every day. I also have to make sacrifices to pay for my mistake. I've learned to take responsibility for my actions, and I've made the promise to my husband that I will never do it again - a vow I intend to keep.

I couldn't imagine receiving this second mortgage and then carrying on as if nothing has happened.

I just want to add, that my gambling addiction occurred because I was wrongly put on a psychiatric medication that caused me to behave recklessly. The moment I found out that the drug was causing me the problem, I stopped taking it. Two weeks after quitting the drug, I was able to completely stop my gambling addiction. I was one of the lucky ones. I am now involved in a lawsuit against the drug company. They were aware that the drug they put out on the market actually caused people to develop compulsive gambling addictions, but didn't put it on any black box warning. I am now medication free, and gambling free for a year. Things are still touch and go with my marriage, but we are trying to work things out.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that anybody, whether they have kids or not, can experience a problem with finances. We have no kids, but shit still happened - and my bank was gracious enough to help us in a time of financial crisis. We have since been very responsible with our finances, and our goal is to get things back on track. Nobody wants to end up bankrupt and homeless. Not even us CF people.
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bell_flower

OF COURSE this mortgage company is happy to help these losers with a home equity loan of $50,000 to pay off their credit cards. This ensures their house will not be paid off anytime soon, and they can keep collecting interest. (And if they operate like most people, they will be in the same position a couple of years later.)

Contrast this with a CF couple such as DH and me: We have been in our house 12 years. We were 30% down. We refinanced, but it was to go to a 15 year loan. We are a couple of years away from paying it off.

It never ceases to amaze me how people regard their home equity as "free, fun money." I used to go to a Breeder hairdresser (not for long) who told me when their house value went up around 2007 (right before the crash) they took out equity so she could have a plastic surgery "mommy makeover," because that's so much more important than paying off your house.

https://www.mrcooper.com/cashout/testimonial?utm_source=ExactTarget&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=EMR613_testimonial

Normally I despise when companies offer special offers to breeders, but since this is clearly a scam to anyone smart enough to read the fine print, it doesn't bother me.

Great job being a good example for the CF community. I just worry if we continue being good, responsible examples, it's more the breeders will take from us in the future via whining about redistribution, like they always do.

Something tells me the "mommy makeover" happened BEFORE the college savings funds were started, let alone finalized. It never ceases to amaze me how no one asks those questions when the "mommy makeover" pics are posted, which Im sure they were. Its' always "good for you momma bear - you go girl!" when I see it happen, instead of "Didn't you just do a Go Fund Me for Johnny's braces last month?"
mum, no disrespect intended to your particular situation.

I realize anyone can have financial issues and I grew up poor myself. And at the end of the day I'm lucky. I haven't had an illness that affected my finances and I've been fortunate enough to have steady employment.

I actually believe the decision to have a child involves a more active choice than addiction. I believe addiction has a genetic component and some people have to fight it harder than others.

My point was the choice to have a child is a very expensive one and I've known too many examples in real life where people don't plan to have a child nor do they consider the very real impact it will have on their expenses and income.
None taken, bell flower! smiling smiley

I guess the point of my rambling was that it isn't just breeders who can overextend themselves, and they rarely learn from the mistakes that made them take out a second mortgage in the first places. Not only that, but I was able to stop my behavior, where breeders are in it for the long haul. They can't exactly stop being parents, and they will continue to have to purchase their kids new shoes, new clothes, new Igadgets, etc.

I don't understand why they really need "Mommy Makeovers" and expensive SUVs though. I think those things are ridiculous expenditures, and the money they are taking out could be used for something more important. It's kind of a "Keeping Up with the Jones's" mentality that I don't get.

I apologize if my rant wasn't fitting for the thread. I guess I'm a bit sensitive about my current situation, and it's taking me time to work it all out in my head.

We did take out an extra $10,000 on our mortgage, because our old vehicle was falling apart and we needed another one. We purchased an older model Mercedes Benz (the one I named Ingrid). I've put my driving school on hold for a little bit, but plan on taking my test in the spring of next year. The car is a bit of an added luxury, but I decided to get something that was safe on the road.
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mumofsixbirds

I don't understand why they really need "Mommy Makeovers" and expensive SUVs though. I think those things are ridiculous expenditures, and the money they are taking out could be used for something more important. It's kind of a "Keeping Up with the Jones's" mentality that I don't get.

The Mommy Makeover is to keep Hubby from going after some tight CF pussy.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!
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craftyzits
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mumofsixbirds

I don't understand why they really need "Mommy Makeovers" and expensive SUVs though. I think those things are ridiculous expenditures, and the money they are taking out could be used for something more important. It's kind of a "Keeping Up with the Jones's" mentality that I don't get.

The Mommy Makeover is to keep Hubby from going after some tight CF pussy.

He's not going to go after a CF woman. None would want him. Only a young, dumb, and eager to breed kid looks for an affair with a man with kids.
Although I am very low income due to multiple disabilities, I was able to purchase a medium sized tiny home last year.
So far, I have only had time or energy to do good home maintenance this year and no significant improvements.
I paid 50% down payment and am paying off a modest mortgage with monthly payments.
Every 6 months, I have paid off a few more extra payments (20 payments in 12 months) to get the total mortgage paid off more quickly and reduce over all debt and interest.
This is possible because I am frugal and childfree.
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bell_flower
It doesn't take a genius to figure out when you go to one income, you need to SPEND LESS

Very true, but also keep in mind that breeders are a VERY special brand of retarded. If they go from two incomes down to one, they'll continue spending as if nothing changed because they bred and therefore deserve all the luxuries life can offer. Also, they can't bear to tell Snotleigh and Bratlina that they have to give up one of their half dozen extra-curricular activities (translation: Moo doesn't want to spend more time with her brats than necessary, so she wants to keep them out of the house as much as possible).

Then they go broke. Big shock! But then they refuse to do anything to fix their financial situation. They won't sell the McMansion, cut back on spending, sell the SUV, buy cheaper groceries, stop going out to eat, stop having more kids, nothing. Why? Because they're BIZZY and they caaaaaan't sacrifice those things because kiiiiiiiids. Financial assistance companies are well aware of breeder inflexibility and they cash in on it. Then Moo and Duh wonder why they can't get a break and can't afford shit. Then they tell their CF friends how it "must be nice" to be able to afford simple things.

It takes effort to be frugal, and at times it's certainly not much fun. It's an effort breeders aren't willing to make and it comes back to bite them right in the ass later when they're broke, six figures in debt, have all maxed out credit cards, poor credit, and can't get loans from legit places.
Mum, congrats on your approaching anniversary! Even though your behavior was attributable to the medications, it's still a big deal. smiling smiley
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Cambion
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bell_flower
It doesn't take a genius to figure out when you go to one income, you need to SPEND LESS

Very true, but also keep in mind that breeders are a VERY special brand of retarded. If they go from two incomes down to one, they'll continue spending as if nothing changed because they bred and therefore deserve all the luxuries life can offer. Also, they can't bear to tell Snotleigh and Bratlina that they have to give up one of their half dozen extra-curricular activities (translation: Moo doesn't want to spend more time with her brats than necessary, so she wants to keep them out of the house as much as possible).

Then they go broke. Big shock! But then they refuse to do anything to fix their financial situation. They won't sell the McMansion, cut back on spending, sell the SUV, buy cheaper groceries, stop going out to eat, stop having more kids, nothing. Why? Because they're BIZZY and they caaaaaan't sacrifice those things because kiiiiiiiids. Financial assistance companies are well aware of breeder inflexibility and they cash in on it. Then Moo and Duh wonder why they can't get a break and can't afford shit. Then they tell their CF friends how it "must be nice" to be able to afford simple things.

It takes effort to be frugal, and at times it's certainly not much fun. It's an effort breeders aren't willing to make and it comes back to bite them right in the ass later when they're broke, six figures in debt, have all maxed out credit cards, poor credit, and can't get loans from legit places.

Many years ago, I used to avidly read a frugal living group to get tips and ideas on how to live on a small budget.
One of the main reasons that I quit reading was the large quantity of breeders who piled massive and serious major budget mistakes on top of each other, but would take no responsibility for it, nor be open to any change.
They would also tend to ignore the impending financial avalanche that they caused and fixate on a tiny money issue that would make no discernible difference in their massive debt.
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cassia
Many years ago, I used to avidly read a frugal living group to get tips and ideas on how to live on a small budget.
One of the main reasons that I quit reading was the large quantity of breeders who piled massive and serious major budget mistakes on top of each other, but would take no responsibility for it, nor be open to any change.
They would also tend to ignore the impending financial avalanche that they caused and fixate on a tiny money issue that would make no discernible difference in their massive debt.

I can imagine how frustrating it was to read-- just the idea that breeders want to pretend to live frugally is pretty irritating. You had kids, dipshits-- that's an ongoing extravagance that prevents any claims that you're "frugal."
There is a big difference between a one time event that requires a refinance (medical, etc.) and a lifestyle choice where a refinance is just a short term band-aid fix for credit abuse and living beyond one's means.

Red flags are "down from two incomes to one income" and indicators that finances are going to continue to increase despite the lower income. Another huge red flag is taking out a loan to pay for much needed repairs because they either don't have the money to make repairs to their home or they are spending it on other things. If the plan is to go from two incomes to one income then they should have already been living successfully off one income for a while, not taking out a loan to cover the other income. Both of them need to work in this instance until all credit card, etc. debt is wiped out. But since they are very likely breeders and that is likely why they are down one income, their debt will grow until they hit rock bottom.
I hadn't thought about this in a while, but back around 2006-2007 I had the misfortune to sit next to a Breeder at work who epitomizes this story.

As an aside, I was very irritated by her in general. She was the recipient of an undeserved perk just because she bred. I was working on a high pressure project . She had formerly been one level above me, but after she shat kid#4, she was allowed to work 2-3 days a week MAKING HER SAME HOURLY RATE but doing a low level job, basically setting up meetings and "strategy sessions."

You would think if someone was working 2-3 days a week with such a sweet deal, that person would have the professional smarts to confine personal appointments, logistics and other non-work activities to non-work days, but not this person. She was ALWAYS out for some kid related event. And there were ENDLESS PHONE CALLS to attend to the requisite upper class brat activities. (Her husband made a good salary and she spent every dime and the school aged brats were in private school.) I overheard FREQUENT conversations about logistics, carpools, what the nanny should be buying for the kids, which grocery store carried the cheapest chocolate milk and other kid food, appropriateness of clothing for sports. One day she went on and on about how "professionally refreshed" she felt because she was allowed to work part time. I wanted to hurt her.

But back to topic, I also heard many conversations related to her house. She was in the middle of a renovation and she was spending money like water. I remember hearing about a pillow that cost $500. (Ugh.) But the best conversation I heard was when she was talking to a mortgage company and describing her situation: First mortgage: $300,000. Second mortgage: $200,000. And she was calling to have all these loans bundled into one and take out more money because they had a "construction shortfall." (At that point, wouldn't a normal person postpone the project until they could afford it?) She bragged to the dude that her house was worth a million dollars. It may have been during the bubble--I just checked and it's worth around $800,000 according to Zillow. Ten years later and with college expenses looming, I'd venture a guess they have little equity in their home.

Thankfully her employment situation didn't last long. Eventually management asked her to return to work or quit. She said she couldn't work full time, and honestly she was barely working at all, so out the door she went.
I also have a story, not as juicy as bell_flower's but still...just weird. Another breeder living well beyond her means who seems to think overspending = some kind of exalted status as luxury item spouse and kids. They propagate this myth until their bullshit catches up with them in the form of reality.


Sat next to a breeder at work in 2003-2004. She drove a car which (I guess) must have embarrassed her a bit.
An older model Honda CRV, probably 5-8 years old. At the time I worked in sales so the parking lot was full of expensive cars that were either leased or being paid for in installments because so many people in sales are all about impressing others. Because of this she must have felt a bit insecure, so she would overcompensate for it at every opportunity. The house her and her husband lived in is in the same neighborhood as a very famous musician yet her house is bigger and nicer than his! Note I just looked up the net worth of this musician and it is 300 million. I have no idea what his net worth was at the time but I knew it was high because he is well known. Her and her husband have a mortgage and debt which is why they both work. This is my favorite part of this story, as I cannot fathom comparing my financial anything to a famous musician who is worth 300 million. Just..why? Perhaps I'll take a walk tomorrow and compare myself to Haile Gebrselassie and say I'm the better runner now. Makes about as much sense.

And despite the car and house, this is a woman who doesn't have to work and she liked to talk about this. Actually, she is in good company there. I've heard lots of women humble brag about not having to work, they especially like to do this within earshot of people who presumably do have to work while at work. The irony of this doesn't escape others.

And despite the "clunker" as she liked to call it she has a very expensive car at home in her garage (I don't remember the car model/make). In her words, they have lots of expensive cars!

She would stroll into work and drop how she spent $400 on shoes for herself and $1200 on her daughter's prom dress plus whatever for the limo, etc. Now, I'd never even heard of these shoes and the idea of this kind of spending spree to me at the time was so out of my reach ($3K or more for a kid's prom) it didn't even register for me. So when she said she spent it on blah blah shoes she had to go into detail with me about the price and store she bought them from. While she did earn good money, she had it spent before the check could be cashed. Always living way beyond her means and treating her paycheck like a lifestyle upgrade. And I haven't even mentioned the constant spa treatments, botox/facial fillers, manicures and pedicures. And the holiday spending was insane!

She was always talking about spending her paycheck at work and all those upper class things her family had because of her paycheck. She made it quite clear she doesn't pay any actual house/utility/food/etc. bills and seemed to think this gives her exalted status of some sort. Her husband pays for both mortgages on their house, too which includes their recent (insert insanely expensive sum here) renovation!

It was kind of boring because as soon as I asked how she was doing I would get an earful of her latest spending spree. Not much else there.

Guess it is better than spending her husband's paycheck on crap but a second mortgage may be a higher priority to pay off rather that taking a lifestyle upgrade. It is such a financially precarious situation to be in purely by intent.

Another quick example is a co-worker who had been working the past year (2009-2010) only to pay for her dream wedding then she planned to stop working. As if the rest of us weren't aware that the soon to be betrothed were already planning for children right away which are much cheaper than weddings, right?
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