"I used to be calm, then I had children"

Having children gives you a short temper, it seems. If you are starting to yell at your coat because you have difficulty putting it on, you might have anger management issues. Remind me again why anyone signs up for this constant irritability?

At least the person writing this article makes fun of the ridiculous approach to modern parenting which suggests you can never say anything negative to a child.

I don't need children to have a short-temper....all it takes is for me to drive into work before I'm yelling "you fuckers are fucking retarded!" before I even get to my office.

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"It is better not to look like what you are; it is better to look like a bourgeois woman because then all the doors are open for you and then you can just go and make hell." - Marjane Satrapi

I have witnessed within the homes or private areas kids poking a parent or asking a parent for something in that whiny voice. Almost in every circumstance the parents have a short temper and don't tolerate this well. Often, the behavior continues until the parent blows up and tells the kid to leave the room. Usually the kid reappears within 2 minutes with a big smirk. Sometimes it can be attributed to the parent's averted attention which the (normally spoiled and coddled) kid continues and finds irresistible because he/she manages to avert the adult pretty much 100% of the time. I think kids learn that the parent is all bark much of the time and that isn't healthy for anyone.

If proper boundaries are set up it removes much of this nagging and whining and would likely prevent parents from having a short temper and throwing a temper tantrum because of their coat. If a kid knows poking mom means he/she is going to be scrubbing the kitchen floor as a consequence then after this happens once the kid is sure to find another way to entertain him/herself.

Before I even read the link, I was thinking this is b/c god forbid u say a cross word to kids anymore.So, you take it out on everything else. I'm sure this is so much more healthy so your kids think mom and dad are always happy and never experience any other emotions. That's realistic

Sometimes I have a short temper. I get upset more frequently during stressful times, or when I'm dealing with health issues. I'm also starting menopause now. I remember how my mother behaved when she had it, and it's my worst fear to act the way she did.

I think that whatever the situation, however, that adding young kids into the mix would make things worse. Constantly yelling, shrieking, damaging things, hanging on moo's apron strings 24/7, whining, melting-down, invading of privacy, repeatedly asking the same questions over and over and over again...

The most disturbing thing of all, is how moos always think it's different when it's your own. Yeah...sure, lady. It's only different in the sense that you're stuck with it, and I get to walk away any time I choose.

cfuter, you are spot on. Parents now are expected to doing everything in a soft, positive way and not show they're upset with their kid. That's gotta be frustrating. I'm not saying that parents should blow up at Junior, but bottling it up is bad for both parties, because the parent is a ticking time bomb, AND the kid never gets good at reading others' feelings and realizing that he affects others' emotions, etc.

Kids who don't see their parents get mad now and then will have no reason to behave. A parent who doesn't lose it a little at their brats and scream at them or punish them in some way is a parent who will have a child that isn't afraid of consequences because there won't ever be any. It's like letting a little air out of a balloon every so often instead of letting inflate until it bursts. When parents have to hide all negative feelings and words from their kids and instead pretend to be calm, they are bottling up their anger, which they will then proceed to take out on other people or things that don't deserve it, or they'll blow up in one colossal fit of frustration and rage and will proceed to severely verbally or physically abuse their kids because it'll be weeks, months, or years' worth of pent-up anger flowing out.

And because kids are kids, they looooove testing boundaries and seeing just how far they can push Moo and Duh. Instead of teaching the fuckers to knock that shit off by spanking them or punishing them some other way, the parents just decide to use gentle words to calmly discuss their kids' feelings with them. Which, as we all know, does fuck all. So the kid has no reason to quit being an asshole because hey, they just did this bad thing and got away with it.

It's not good to bottle things up like that. I know, I do it all the time and there have been moments when it caused me actual physical pain. Bitch your kids out when they deserve it. They won't be scarred for life hearing "no" once in a while, and it's better than the alternative of not yelling at your kids for four years and then beating them to a bloody pulp for 45 straight minutes because you can't take it anymore. And because that release feels so fucking good, it'll be hard to actually stop once you start.

But yeah, if you're yelling at your jacket because it won't go on, I think there's an anger issue there that probably requires some therapy or medication. Because it's only a matter of time before that anger gets directed at Bratleigh and he winds up strangled after telling Mommy "no" one time too many.

yeah, my sister used to "correct" her anger-issues son by murmuring "Now, Stuie, use your words" when he was getting violent. Guess what, it didn'
t work, and he ended up at 15 getting sent away to boot camp, therapeutic school (which he got kicked out of for making treats), and then a more supervised therapeutic school. At one point he confessed in therapy that he had long been physically abusing his younger sister, and threatening her if she told. When he was allowed to come home, they dithered about an appropriate school till I (gasp!) opened the yellow pages and found one right near them. My sister spent the next few years putting on fund raisers for the school., which had 17 teachers/ counselors for 29 students.Nephew did eventually graduate but (no surprise) couldn't keep up in college. Some years later he has finally developed an interest in cooking and has an Almost Real Job in that field.