I guilt tripped my healthy kids into caring for my autard, but I'm still a good parent right???

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2018/05/25/well/family/autism-siblings-responsibility.amp.html

She was inpig when she found out her son is an autard, so at least she didn't have more kids solely to be his caretaker, but this paragraph makes me think she would have done so:

"We have always believed that Nick and Grace should take responsibility for their brother when we no longer can. We have worked to engrave that duty on their hearts, but they accept it grudgingly. I wonder if we failed as parents to instill compassion in the twins, if we somehow hardened their hearts instead of softening them. Dan reminds me that few people accept familial duty with joy.

We have worked to make the twins’ burden as light as possible."

I feel bad for these twins. Their childhood is full of memories of an older brother that was a PIA. And their parents gave them a job the minute they were born and constantly reminded them of it throughout their childhood. Also, the parents define compassion as the twins taking care of their brother, which is a very one-sided definition of the word that doesn't begin to encompass the true definition. I don't think there is a definition of compassion that revolves around guilt-tripping and brainwashing children.

"After we navigated a labyrinth of government bureaucracy, Jeffrey now receives disability payments that cover his rent and most of his food, and qualify him for Medicaid and assistance with things like applying for jobs. It is a big help and we are grateful for it, but we still pay several hundred dollars each month to cover the community’s fee for having an on-site resident assistant, as well as Jeffrey’s clothing, transportation and other personal expenses. Dan and I set aside as much money as we can for his future while saving for our own retirement, but it is likely that Nick and Grace will need to carefully ration our life insurance payout to keep their brother clothed, fed and supervised."

There is nothing stopping these parents from working longer and saving back more money for the autard. They could easily also save money and hire someone to disburse insurance money plus savings to him for a minimal fee.
A 2 minute search led me to AutismSpeaks where they recommend a guardian/conservatorship to be put in place when autard hits 17. If they had bothered to research this when he was 17 their then minor-children may have been spared the harping on the obligation to their brother. This would prove to their twin children that their parents have the compassion to not give them jobs from birth. Their children may not have the means to afford to give their brother a monthly allowance or have the ability to manage his finances. They shouldn't have their wings clipped. I can see where the parents may encourage occasional visits to the brother from his siblings but anything beyond that is wrong.

"We sometimes remind the twins (who are now 23) of their duty to care for Jeffrey, and with the optimism and confidence of youth, they say they will handle it, and anyway, it is far in the future."

They are young adults and here come the parents with the guilt-tripping, harping on their brother yet again. Hope they move thousands of miles away from their parents.

Hideous. I saw something similar to this with my best friend growing up, so I feel pretty strongly about this topic. These people should not have had those twins-- they either should have aborted them, adopted them out, or institutionalized the dangerous older kid. Raising them with an abusive sibling that they now expect them to care for forever is a monumental disservice to their healthy kids.

Just reading the article now. I had to stop and comment about when she thought it'd be a good idea to institutionalize their tard, but random people were telling her what a 'blessing' her tard is. I don't see it as a blessing. Sorry, but this kid has been violent towards his siblings, and she should have thought about putting their needs first in that case.

The poor siblings sound like their lives have been a nightmare. Way to go, parents, for saddling them with their violent tard brother for the rest of their lives!

If, in some alternate universe, I would've been in this woman's shoes, if anyone told me that having a tard is a blessing, I'd have asked them if they were in the process of raising a tard themselves. There is no blessing in this; only tragedy as far as I can tell.

Oh, and I have to remark on her lovely purple prose while writing about the tard the article. Excessively long hugs? Sounds like this kid has a sexually predatory nature.

That was quite the read. It's almost funny how the parents (and many in the comments) love the beat the drum of "family duty" when it comes to what the twins "owe" the autard but nothing but crickets in regards to the twins needs.

Exactly. Why should anyone owe anybody anything, just because they were born. No one asked to be freaking born! Breeders just don't get it. Existence by itself is already a burden. But existence alongside some violent, potentially even murderous, mentally ill person you're forced to take care of - thats pure hell. "Parental love" my arse. That has nothing to do with compassion - freedom of personal space and life is a human right (as long as it doesn't hurt others). And that right of a free life shouldn't be questioned, especially not by "family duty" bullshit and emotional blackmail.

Whats with the bullshit materialistic intro and outre? Some not-even-worth-mentioning objects vs. "Inheriting" a malicious person? These poor breeder victims (twins) are surely fucked.
Why have these idiotic breeders vehemently dismissed insitiutionalizing their handmade monster, even when a doc suggested it? And a (most likely) criminally insane monstrosity is a "blessing" from "god"?! How ridiculous are these idiots?! I wonder how much of a "blessing" they would call it, if every single one of them had a house-creep like that at home. LOL.
*Self-rightgeous fucks* (as Slayer would put it).

And that remark about the so called "affection" of this loony...with the "hugs", "following around girls" (whatever that implies) and "sloppy kisses"... can only agree with mo6b here...most likely a loony perv in the making

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Freedom & Art & Music >>>>>>>>>> human spawn

"Music is immortal. People are not."
-William Anger, "King's Story" - Thief2 FM by Zontik

I have to lol at the pearls and the woodworking tools, too. What is that, the consolation prize for looking after this tard? If that's the case, I'd just tell my parents to stuff it up their asses and walk away. I don't think that those small, insignificant things would even matter at all, if their lives are facing potential ruin from their moo's guilt tripping.

I hope these kids have the fortitude to tell them that they aren't going to be a slave to their brother.

Quote
mumofsixbirds
I have to lol at the pearls and the woodworking tools, too. What is that, the consolation prize for looking after this tard? If that's the case, I'd just tell my parents to stuff it up their asses and walk away. I don't think that those small, insignificant things would even matter at all, if their lives are facing potential ruin from their moo's guilt tripping.

I hope these kids have the fortitude to tell them that they aren't going to be a slave to their brother.

And how much do you bet she'll be harping on them for grandbrats? So they'll be expected to have kids of their own to care for (with the higher chance of one of them being a tard) AND caring for their brother.

Joing that bet wouldn't even be gambling... breeder dickheads like these that stoop as low as possible with emotionally blackmailing their own DNA replicas into actively ruining their lives with this looney and beating the shit-drum of "fambleey dooodie" wouldn't ever stop interfering with the poor guy's and gal's lives. Since in their shitfilled brain, sluicing even more societal slaves is surely "fambleeyy doodiee" too. People like that are shameless, selfish, self-righeous and will stop at nothing.

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Freedom & Art & Music >>>>>>>>>> human spawn

"Music is immortal. People are not."
-William Anger, "King's Story" - Thief2 FM by Zontik

Were I in this situation, I would just dump the fucktard on the government and say, "Here, he's your responsibility now!"

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

A surprising number of the comments are siding with the twins, saying that raising a child is the parents' responsibility, not siblings'. Awesome.