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"childfree" after realizing IVF is not going to work

Posted by cfdavep 
"childfree" after realizing IVF is not going to work
December 21, 2018
https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/the-secret-to-going-from-childless-to-child-free-is-going-overseas-20181214-p50mfs.html

According to this article people who want kids are childless until they have them, but when they can't have them and when they have to give up on the IVF, usually because they ran out of savings and settle into their "disappointing" childless life they are suddenly childfree. I guess another word needs to be invented
Re: "childfree" after realizing IVF is not going to work
December 22, 2018
Anyone even thinking about "own kid always lovable", "back up uteruses" and "sweeeeet beautiful babbbieees", to me they disqualify for being childfree. There's simply no such thing as "journey to childfree". Once you want kids, like these people, and even do that whole frankenstein shit to get one, then you ain't fucking childfree. You're a wannabreed. Deal with it.
And ain't that charming. The old, tired cliche of getting a pet as a kid replacement. Barf.

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Freedom & Art & Music >>>>>>>>>> human spawn

"Music is immortal. People are not."
-William Anger, "King's Story" - Thief2 FM by Zontik
Re: "childfree" after realizing IVF is not going to work
December 22, 2018
Because the world needed a mini her with Bozo The Clown hair. For a minute I thought Shauna had gone full on lesbian and dyed her hair red. Having a head shot of you and your wife grabbing and kissing each other on every article screams, "Lookitme, I found someone to fuck me!"

Anyway, had this procedure worked, she would have been carrying a child with half of its DNA from outside the relationship. Again, why not adopt?

There is a word for what these people are, and it's childless. They believe something is missing from their life.

She also wrote an article about being upset that her wife is called her partner by CSRs. Many CSRs are taught to use the term partner, even with hetero couples to avoid offending people. Some hetero women don't like to be called "wife" because it's a loaded term.

I like this comment on the article about how people refer to her:

"Ordinarily I'm of the view Australians don't do diversity very well, no matter how much they claim to support it. On this one though I think the author is simply wrong. Nobody is correcting her. Nobody is instructing her that she is using the incorrect pronoun to refer to her wife.

The use of "partner" has crept in to the language because of the range of non-traditional living arrangements not adequately covered by husband/wife and fiance.

Should customer service staff listen closely to discern the nature of your professed preference for terms that describe your relationship? Possibly, in some instances.

In other instances though, it would pay to put away the outrage machine, accept that the people providing you a service are just processing you through a system and don't really have time to work through each person's preferred descriptive terms and simply use the simple catch-all "partner" to refer to the person with whom you appear to be in some kind of relationship with.

It happens to everyone. It's not personal. It's not intended to offend or correct. It's not exclusive to same sex relationships.

Not every instance of the world not molding itself around your preferences is discrimination."
Re: "childfree" after realizing IVF is not going to work
December 23, 2018
Is it so much to ask for people to quit waving our flag? Fucking childless infertiles do it, along with Moos who stick their brats with a sitter for the night and are "child-free LOL!" I don't want to be lumped in with these assholes! It's not hard to differentiate between the two terms. ChildLESS means someone who wants kids, but doesn't or can't have them. ChildFREE is someone who does not want kids and voluntarily chooses to prevent conception or birth. These people still want kids, so therefore, they are still childless.

Some people do seem to use CFdom as a way to cope with infertility. It was over on CFEZ, I think, that there was one member who was pretty hardcore CF even among the hardcore CFers. Then out of the blue, he announced that he and his wife were expecting and came out and admitted that his hatred of kids was just his way of coming to terms with being unable to have his own.

But oh no, those poor ladies, having to use things like vacations, working out, sleeping in, and taking spontaneous trips to fill the wretched hole in their uteruses! Say it ain't so! Never mind that these are things they'd be aching to do (and most certainly unable to do) if they were weighed down with spawn. I feel like it needs to be a public service announcement at this point: not having kids for any reason - be it an inability or a lack of desire - does not make life less worth living. It doesn't make you less of a person. It doesn't make you less deserving, less important, and it is not the only thing that can bring your life meaning or happiness. So many people seem to attach hopes, dreams, joy, purpose, basically everything in life to breeding and when they can't do it, they go fucking nuts. Kids aren't the only thing in life, and a vast majority of the time, they aren't worth it anyway. Parents will just say they are to save face.
Re: "childfree" after realizing IVF is not going to work
December 26, 2018
Quote
bell_flower
Because the world needed a mini her with Bozo The Clown hair.
When I saw the first photo I asked myself why the bride is kissing Bozo the Clown on her wedding day, not realizing it was her wife (not to be mistaken with calling her her partner).
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