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'tis the Season to get Xmess cards and ask, who the fuck is this from?

Posted by bell_flower 
'tis the Season to get Xmess cards and ask, who the fuck is this from?
December 22, 2018
One of my pet peeves at Christmas is getting cards from people you know or used to know and instead of seeing pictures of your friends, you see pictures of their kids or grand loaves. It would be nice to see an adult in the picture that I knew, if only to speculate how they are holding up. (Petty I know. Everyone does it.)

And yes I know, they are an environmental waste. If you are going to send them, at least how about giving people some kind of clue. Some don't even bother to put the parents' first names on them, so it's anyone's guess.

This year DH and I got two post cards with giant loaves on them. No mention of anyone's first name or any clue. Both said, "Merry Christmas from the Breedersons." I asked DH, whose loaves are these? He didn't know--I would guess they are both from his family, which is chock full of DNA replicators. (They replicate regardless of ability to afford them, suitability of partners, age, employment status, maturity level, desire, etc. It's just What You Do.)

We finally figured out one was from a niece who got married, pigged and sprogged all within a year. No mention of her first name or her maiden name to give us a clue.
Ugh. I’m sorry you had to see loaves. You can always mess with them by having it sent back. I keep getting mail for the previous homeowners. I decided to have some fun. I put “return to sender” and then in parentheses “address unknown/ no such person, no such zone. We had a quarrel...” It’s a kind of cheeky way you could let people know their mail isn’t wanted.

Lock him up or put him down.
Stolen from Shiny.
Sweet way to deal with it, contemplativeintrovert grinning smiley
And in case its too much of a hassle, Xmess loaf cards are what fireplaces, recycling bins and shredders are made for winking smiley

Merry goblinless Xmas from the cat to everyone btw smiling smiley

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Freedom & Art & Music >>>>>>>>>> human spawn

"Music is immortal. People are not."
-William Anger, "King's Story" - Thief2 FM by Zontik
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bell_flower
This year DH and I got two post cards with giant loaves on them. No mention of anyone's first name or any clue. Both said, "Merry Christmas from the Breedersons." I asked DH, whose loaves are these? He didn't know--I would guess they are both from his family, which is chock full of DNA replicators.

I actually got two of my friends to change the way they do Christmas cards by pointing out just this type of issue. They now put a whole-family portrait on the fronts of their cards, with "Happy Holidays from (all family first names here). I still don't give any fucks about Christmas cards, but at least theirs isn't some anonykid card now.

Slightly OT, but related to lifescript assumptions re: Christmas cards....Three of my cousins on my dad's side have dutifully produced two grandkids apiece, and those kids are always the centerpieces of their fuckin' cards. I didn't change my last name when I got married, and two of those three cousins can't be bothered to get my name right on the envelopes. Worse yet, they sometimes still use the very old-fashioned "Mr. and Mrs. Hisfirstname Hislastname" in addressing stuff, so sometimes the address leaves me off completely...not even my first name. I tried to correct this by sending cards in return for a few years, and the spouse and I made sure to sign our first and last names inside the cards, as well as including proper last names on the return address. Nope. Those cousins still get my last name wrong. One figured it out, but the other two still don't get it.
Re: 'tis the Season to get Xmess cards and ask, who the fuck is this from?
December 26, 2018
It was nice to read the cards as a kid because I had an update on other kids I knew, some of which had moved away.
But it was never all about the kids and the photos were always the entire family back then.

This may be petty too but anytime I see a photo of a family where it is the kids only I assume the worst: the parents chose the photo of kids only because they let themselves go and they know it. Same for when there is a group photo and the people who aren't so tall hide in the background where you can only see their faces.
Re: 'tis the Season to get Xmess cards and ask, who the fuck is this from?
December 26, 2018
In other seasonal cheer, my mother and I have looked with horror at the picture of one of my nieces. My mother asked why the girl was trying to look ugly. I tried to explain that the highly artificial contoured makeup style always looks like a hot mess unless you photograph it from exactly the right angle. But even more creepy than the makeup abuse was mommy hovering in the background

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randomcfchick
Slightly OT, but related to lifescript assumptions re: Christmas cards....Three of my cousins on my dad's side have dutifully produced two grandkids apiece, and those kids are always the centerpieces of their fuckin' cards. I didn't change my last name when I got married, and two of those three cousins can't be bothered to get my name right on the envelopes. Worse yet, they sometimes still use the very old-fashioned "Mr. and Mrs. Hisfirstname Hislastname" in addressing stuff, so sometimes the address leaves me off completely...not even my first name. I tried to correct this by sending cards in return for a few years, and the spouse and I made sure to sign our first and last names inside the cards, as well as including proper last names on the return address. Nope. Those cousins still get my last name wrong. One figured it out, but the other two still don't get it.

Both my ex and I kept our own surnames.

I took the approach of addressing people who gave me the wrong surname as "(HerFirstname) HerMaidenSurname and (HisFirstname) HisSurname". If they can assume I've changed my name, I can assume she didn't change hers. If that doesn't lead to a correction, I can escalate to "the HerFirstname HerMaidenSurnames" or simply stop responding. Only a few elderly people from my ex's side of the family required my approach, and most of them had to update their assumptions a few years later when his brother took his wife's surname.

During the same period, several relatives on my side of the family did address their letters to "Yurble and Ex YurbleSurname" but I assume that was because they forgot his surname, not because they wanted to invert the tradition.
Well I guess I was too happy too soon this year.
After giving myself some off days form FakeBook, I open it again today (for band planning updates) and am greeted by a slimy, posy, disgusting 2-loaf-breeder photo of our sproggomatic guitarist with a sleazy cursive "Merry Christmas" on it. IN THE BAND ORGANIZATION CHAT. BARF. I used to regard that dude as a good photographer, so WHY the fuck couldnt he make a nice still life, as he usually does?? Why the fucking loaves in our faces, especially when he knows that 2 bandmembers of 5 are CF?? I dont get these posers.

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Freedom & Art & Music >>>>>>>>>> human spawn

"Music is immortal. People are not."
-William Anger, "King's Story" - Thief2 FM by Zontik
Re: 'tis the Season to get Xmess cards and ask, who the fuck is this from?
December 26, 2018
Which reminds me...I am using FBP to try to filter out brats, and I still see tons of baby pictures. Does anyone else have any luck with it? I really can't tell the difference between reading on a device with FBP installed, and one without it. Like seriously, these are pictures where if they're slow to load the FB description of what it appears to show figures out that it is a loaf, so why can't FBP? It seems it is just looking for tags like 'baby' but people don't tag their photos that way, they label them something like "look at Sweet Darling Bratname" or #PrincessMyuterusworks.
When I last checked my FB Purity settings, the photo filtering was under the "experimental" heading, so I didn't expect it to be great. It seems to do all right for me, but I admit that most of my friends are beyond the baby stage and have kids that are at least school age. So my FBP might not be having to work too hard in that dept. I thought it was based on image content/facial recognition. I suppose you could always create a filter based on the names of your friends' kids. Then it would yoink any posts by name. THAT seems to work well. I got sick of seeing posts about Game of Thrones (which I do not watch and give zero fucks about), so my FBP filters out that.

ETA: still chuckling about the phrase " #Princessmyuterusworks"
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