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'Childbirth needs a #metoo'

Posted by yurble 
'Childbirth needs a #metoo'
December 31, 2018
Gee, look what sort of things we're missing out on. Some of what is described sounds horrific, while other things which are described sound like entitlement. I don't know how the author can in the same breath describe a woman being in labor so long that the baby dies and she needs a hysterectomy, and being told to shut the baby up by feeding it with formula since she's not producing enough milk. I bet most of those women suffering from first world problems opted to be pregnant, whereas that may not be the case for all the genuine horror stories. All this says to me is that we need universal access to contraception, abortion, and information about the realities of childbirth, not a co-opting of feminism to make it all about mothers.
Re: 'Childbirth needs a #metoo'
December 31, 2018
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yurble
All this says to me is that we need universal access to contraception, abortion, and information about the realities of childbirth, not a co-opting of feminism to make it all about mothers.

Preach!

And yes, comparing death and dismemberment to being informed that you're not feeding your infant adequately and should use formula...those two aren't in the same arena. They're not even arena-adjacent.
Re: 'Childbirth needs a #metoo'
December 31, 2018
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kittehpeoples
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yurble
All this says to me is that we need universal access to contraception, abortion, and information about the realities of childbirth, not a co-opting of feminism to make it all about mothers.

Preach!

And yes, comparing death and dismemberment to being informed that you're not feeding your infant adequately and should use formula...those two aren't in the same arena. They're not even arena-adjacent.

Blunt Truth: "You are starving your baby, quit being an idiot"
Re: 'Childbirth needs a #metoo'
December 31, 2018
"Birth rape" isn't a new concept. I read about it a long time ago over on Smothering. Basically, it's mostly women who don't get their idyllic natural birth in the hospital and piss and moan about the horrible mean doctors who commit atrocities like performing life-saving C-sections and "rob" them of a natural birthing experience which they feel prevents them from properly bonding with their babies.

They don't get that doctors deliver babies all damn day long and they aren't going to fawn over every individual Moo and they sure as fuck don't have time to cater to every single bullshit natural water spirit birth or WTFever these women do. They're gonna get Moo in and out ASAP, do their best to ensure both her and the loaf live, and get ready to do it all again repeatedly. It's a monumental thing for Moo, but she's just another meat slab on the assembly line to the staff.

If there is genuine medical abuse, then sure, bring it to light and create awareness. But a vast majority of these heifers need to learn that not getting their own way doesn't mean they were abused.

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I am white and I was shouted at in a London hospital when my baby was crying. Although the nice woman from La Leche League had been round in the day to help with breastfeeding, at 2am the over-worked agency nurse yelled at me that I was incapable of producing milk and would I please stuff a bottle in her mouth because I was waking everyone up.

This is not abuse, this is a legitimate concern... for the staff. I know a lot of crunchy Moos will refuse to feed their loaves anything but boobjuice and will go so far as to let their babies go hungry before they'll put formula in them. I guarantee you anything that nurse has worked more in one shift than Moo has worked in a whole year and had every right to be grouchy at that hour, and she probably had people (including other mothers whose newborns are trying to sleep) screaming at her to shut the crying loaf up so they could sleep. Hungry babies are loud motherfuckers, but the Moos will just tune that shit out. I also seriously doubt she (or maybe he) "yelled" at Moo. What really happened was probably more like the nurse told Moo her brat was crying because it was hungry and if she's not making enough milk, she should give it formula for now so it's not hungry. You know, quantity over quality - giving the kid a less than ideal food source is better than starving it. Moos don't get that.

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A doctor told Index on Censorship that one woman was moved to another hospital where she would not be offered a C-section. She was in labour so long her baby died, she ruptured her bladder and had to have a hysterectomy.

This does sound like a real concern and also grounds for a lawsuit because she was neglected to the point where she suffered severe organ damage as well as the loss of her child when surgery would have most likely prevented all of it. This isn't birth abuse, this is malpractice.

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Doctors and nurses very often junk birth plans and justify brutal treatment in the name of medical science – it’s an emergency or they need to save a life. The ends – a healthy mother and baby – justify the means.

Well sometimes "brutal" treatment is needed when complications arise. And like I said, doctors don't have time to cater to Moos and their bullshit birth plans. If you want to give birth with no painkillers in a pool of blessed yak tears with Yanni playing in the background and a professional photographer documenting the whole thing, push out your loaf at home! You'll get your dream birth, and you might also wind up with a dead loaf, but you take that risk with a custom birth. You want to live and leave with a live baby, you go to the hospital, let the staff do their jobs, and shut the hell up.

And yeah, I bet all these women got pregnant and stayed pregnant voluntarily. Sooooo, they kinda brought some of this on themselves.
Re: 'Childbirth needs a #metoo'
December 31, 2018
The medical industry in general has lots of abuse and it isn't just about childbirth. With my experiences and the collective ones of those I've known, it is best to avoid it unless it is an absolute emergency.

I have way less sympathy for elective procedures (including childbirth) than for the necessary medical treatments because it is 100% avoidable.
Re: 'Childbirth needs a #metoo'
January 01, 2019
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freya
The medical industry in general has lots of abuse and it isn't just about childbirth. With my experiences and the collective ones of those I've known, it is best to avoid it unless it is an absolute emergency.

There are serious problems in the medical industry, and some do disproportionately affect women. For instance it has been shown that women are less likely to get a diagnosis for diseases that present differently in men and women, medicines are less likely to be adequately tested on women, women's pain is more likely to be discounted, and women's medical care is often a secondary consideration to their reproductive capability. In short, there are plenty of reasons for women to get upset about medical treatment, and I think I had to drag myself up flights of stairs while giving birth and my uterus ruptured has more in common with refusal to treat endo because of fertility concerns than it has with the nurse harshly told me to feed my baby because it was crying.

But I also don't think it needs to be explicitly about women. There was recently an exposé on the medical device industry and how poorly regulated that is and how much misery it has caused. This are real, serious issues that ruin lives and which should be taken seriously. Someone having to bottle feed is hardly a "tragedy" compared to any of this.
Re: 'Childbirth needs a #metoo'
January 02, 2019
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yurble
But I also don't think it needs to be explicitly about women. There was recently an exposé on the medical device industry and how poorly regulated that is and how much misery it has caused. This are real, serious issues that ruin lives and which should be taken seriously. Someone having to bottle feed is hardly a "tragedy" compared to any of this.

Someone trying to bottle feed is a fucking reason for gratitude, and crying and feeling victimized shows exactly how removed people are from the realities women faced not very long ago when babies fucking DIED when their mother didn't lactate adequately. Be fucking GLAD there's a backup for your mammaries, lady.

My friend--call her "D"--is a labor and delivery nurse, and has seen fucking everything. And she believes in birth plans...the kind that result in a live, healthy baby and mother. that is. D has mentioned having to deal with post-partum mothers who're still pretty loony on hormones, which is likely part of what fueled the irrational behavior of the mom protesting her kid being bottle fed. Still irrational, though, and in situations like that D goes into Commando Nurse Mode and does what needs doing. I wouldn't fuck with her for sure.
Re: 'Childbirth needs a #metoo'
January 02, 2019
I've heard of people waking up during operations before, and it sounds absolutely terrifying. It certainly does make me question whether or not I'd ever want to go under the knife again. The only time I'd be going under and getting sliced up would be in a life or death situation.

Birth Rape: Another reason I'm glad I never did it.
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