These are the types that harass the CF

https://news.yahoo.com/mum-31-pens-heartbreaking-note-marriage-like-kids-110336056.html

The comments are interesting

She has another older child from a previous marriage so they have four brats total.

They had three brats in rapid succession and they wonder why their lives are chaotic?

DUH.

Some typical breeder nonsense in the comments...it would all be sparkles and unicorns if she just viewed it correctly, "my children are my joy but idk I guess you do you," etc. Fuck if they* can admit having children sucks.


*I do suspect that a lot of people who insist children are nothing but the central joy of their lives actually do very little parenting...the types who can afford nannies or constant childcare out of the home and aren't actually subjected to the daily trials of raising their own brats.

Thank goodness this will never be me.


*plans a March weekend getaway*

There are a couple of good comments, like this one:

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I have 6 kids. You have your priorities reversed, your marriage comes FIRST, THEN the kids. You need to take time out for date night, you need to teach the kids to not come through your bedroom door without permission, and that much as you love them, sometimes they will have to wait. Your kids will grow up and leave, if you don't have a strong marriage, you will then have not much to talk about or hold you together. We've been together for 49 years and married for 47. We know of what we speak.

And this one makes a good point:

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Not sure what the point is really. This is what majorly of married women have experienced since the beginning of the human race. Too bad that her mother, older sisters, aunts, or other female family members or friends didn’t tell her since she wasn’t observant enough to figure it out on her own.

In the advent of widespread internet, it is extremely easy to do research - just a cursory glance on google will bring up MILLIONS of results for "I regret having children" - so there is no excuse for "I didn't know how haaaaaaaaaaaard it would be having 4 kids!". Bed, made, lie.

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lurker-derp
In the advent of widespread internet, it is extremely easy to do research - just a cursory glance on google will bring up MILLIONS of results for "I regret having children" - so there is no excuse for "I didn't know how haaaaaaaaaaaard it would be having 4 kids!". Bed, made, lie.

I think even when they see stories like that, they'll still all think to themselves, "Ohhh it'll be different for us! Those people just didn't try hard enough and that's why their lives suck!" Then by the time they learn it's not different, they can't do anything about it because their marriages are already wrecked and they can't Ctrl+Z their kids.

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Keeping a relationship alive when kids are introduced definitely takes work, but it's still possible. The thing people do wrong is they put their kids above their partners, giving 100 percent of their love to those kids and none to their significant others, which is why so many breeder couples are more like roommates than spouses and why post-child relationships fail so spectacularly. You don't put one above the other - you put them on the same level. Obviously the way you love your partner shouldn't be the same way you love your kids (if it is, you should be on a registry by now), but the strength of that love can certainly be the same even if the type of love is different.

But it's a lot of work that most people just don't have the energy to bother putting in because barring drug addicts, most of us don't have bottomless reservoirs of energy. Kids suck you dry in every sense and can rip the foundation out from under even strong relationships, and since a lot of people who breed together have relationships that are dangling by threads, the introduction of brats just obliterates any semblance of romance. But I think attitudes toward parenting and marriage need to change a little. People think if they look at their kids and go, "Hey, my wife/husband was here first, you assholes can fuck off for a second," it makes them bad parents. That if you don't sacrifice every scrap of personal/adult enjoyment for your kids, you're a horrible person. That if you dare devote time to one another and deprive your brats of even a moment of your attention, you deserve to rot in hell.

All the more reason to REALLY encourage people to think for longer than five seconds about whether or not they really want kids. It won't be different just because it's you.