"Stop telling me I'll change my mind later" June 09, 2019 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,432 |
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So it’s endlessly surprising when people tell me I’ll change my mind. Uber drivers, a GP, once even a woman-child working in a clothing store who looked about 12. I’d like to think it’s my youthful good looks. But it’s not. It’s disbelief that I’m not still striving to quicken.
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The subtext of “you’ll change your mind” goes back to the idea of motherhood being the natural position and anything else being deviant. That in turn means that the childless must be locked in battle against the mythical biological clock. That hormones will eventually ensure the right instinct kicks in. That a proper woman will at some point gasp and realise she is destined for children. (Hey, if she does, do not get smug on her pregnant arse. That’s just rude.)
Re: "Stop telling me I'll change my mind later" June 09, 2019 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,708 |
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commenter
I asked one of my friends with kids if she actually enjoyed being a mother once - her pained response (we were alone ) was that there are rare moments when it is magical but for the most part its an unbearable slog. But it was her life, so she had to get on with it.
I cannot imagine describing my own life in such depressing terms.
Re: "Stop telling me I'll change my mind later" June 09, 2019 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,432 |
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freya
I like this comment because I think it is very accurate:Quote
commenter
I asked one of my friends with kids if she actually enjoyed being a mother once - her pained response (we were alone ) was that there are rare moments when it is magical but for the most part its an unbearable slog. But it was her life, so she had to get on with it.
I cannot imagine describing my own life in such depressing terms.
It reminds me of those unintentional messes you make that you end up spend an hour or more cleaning up. Not the routine cleaning we all have to do, these are the messes that eat into your free time and are an unpleasant surprise.
But with kids you are stuck cleaning those messes for 18+ years.
Re: "Stop telling me I'll change my mind later" June 09, 2019 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,964 |
Re: "Stop telling me I'll change my mind later" June 09, 2019 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,363 |
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Cambion
The only people who tell CFers they'll change their minds are either barren wanna-breeders who are bitter that they have no choice or actual breeders who had kids and regret doing so. Other childfree people don't bingo one another, and the PNBs I've told I don't want kids always responded with "Good choice!" - not because they hate their kids, but because they know what a pain in the ass it is.