High school kid forced to be a caregiver to violent tard sister

From the bowels of the Am I the Asshole sub-Reddit:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/

The gist of it is in the title. High school kid pretty much isn't allowed to have a life because she (or he, I can't tell) has to care for their tard sister and would be punished for daring to actually, you know, try to be a kid every once in a while. The author snapped after getting to hear that Moo and Duh expect them to continue caring for Tardlina after they die and then went to stay with their grandfather.

Then there's the update:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/azvko1/update_aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap/

...where the author learns that Moo and Duh have been getting money from various relatives that is supposed to pay for a caregiver for Tard Vader, only they've been keeping it for themselves and making the author be the charity caregiver. When confronting their parents, the parents don't apologize at all and totally feel justified in saying the reason their older child exists is to care for their younger one. Seems like the author is going to go no contact, at least temporarily.

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I hope they disown their parents entirely. No, it's not the tard's fault she's a tard and I guess you "can't" hate her for stuff she can't help, but I don't blame them for hating her condition. But the parents were complete dickholes - Tardlina is 100% their responsibility. I'm sure they were expecting another normal kid, but they rolled the dice and got snake eyes. Doesn't mean the defecto-brat is anyone's problem but theirs. Their sane child did not choose to breed, so the caregiving should not fall on the older sibling. If they didn't want to raise a tard, they should have given it up.

I hate when parents pull this shit. Not necessarily with mentally fucked siblings, but just parents who expect their older kids to babysit. The kids didn't choose to breed, so why does the responsibility of the younger ones' care fall on their shoulders? If you want them to brat-sit, fucking pay them for it. Family does not mean freebies.

The update was really good. And her moo saying she was put here to take care of the tard? Not a chance in hell moo, as poster was born before tard. We all know moo meant was she expects poster to take care of tard so moo doesn't have to anymore.

I remember reading that story. It's always good when someone who has been fed a pile of shit questions the value of famblee and strikes out for a better life.

The two posts in the OP are from six months ago. Here's another one about a month old:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cjcp5o/wibta_for_abandoning_my_autistic_little_sister/

This is a 29–year-old male and his sister is 22. The mother died four years ago, and the dad's still in his late 60s, but with failing health. In this one he says he couldn't even go to university because he was needed to help with Tardley, and he's never had a job or a girlfriend. His dad "jokingly" suggested he find a girlfriend to help him with the sister.

The similarities between the two Reddit posters are otherwise striking. Both sets of parents care more about the money they receive for Tardley's condition and forcing the normal child to be the third parent and permanent caregiver than they do about either child.

If any lurkers wonder about why people would entertain the idea of aborting fetuses shown to have major problems and of euthanasia, here are some great examples to explain. Here you have people whose childhood and future opportunities were stolen from them because of a fucked-up sibling and asshole parents.

My gut tells me we won't even have group homes and the like for Tardley in 50 years because there won't be any Tardleys. The mindset is changing with younger people about the purported sanctity of life when that life is worthless or even dangerous to others (think violent autards). Ask the two Reddit posters what they would advise couples in the future if prenatal testing could show a child will be a autard.

Also, the realization is hitting after $22 trillion in national debt that the government is broke and those programs to pay for group homes and care are doomed, not least because for unknown reasons more and more children are born with autism spectrum disorders, mental retardation, developmental problems, and the like, and will never be fully functional or able to support themselves. We simply cannot afford to have people in their prime educational and working years sucked away to care for those who will always cost society, always need care, and never be productive. I fear the changes that will happen as a result of all this, because these will make what happened in the Third Reich look tame.

This topic came up at work, we have a nurse who said she had a chance of birthing a Downs kid. And she was honest and said she didn't want to raise it, I said she was smart. But no, the resident Pez dispenser had to pipe up.

She has has 2 exes and 4 wild feral animal children ( I wish I was making this up) in a crap hole in my hometown. Is up to her eyeballs in debt, no phone and depends on everyone else to care for said kids and rides to and from work. Who also btw, without the coworker who drives her she was always at least an hour late WITH transportation.

She piped up, saying how nurse should give her the kid that SHE would raise it. Then goes on about how abortion should be illegal, women should keep their legs shut if their going to be irresponsible. Because that's what she did, etc.

When I was paying bills this past week, I looked back on what I see of this idiots choices and think to myself. Not only am I grateful to be cf and reflected on the opportunities I have because of it. More leftover funds to start. Tho sometimes might feel like an oddball or an endangered species, but I'd rather have my tiny little apartment and loads of quiet. Than the crazy ass shit-show my coworker goes home to and is stranded in everyday.

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demonkitten
She has has 2 exes and 4 wild feral animal children ( I wish I was making this up) in a crap hole in my hometown. Is up to her eyeballs in debt, no phone and depends on everyone else to care for said kids and rides to and from work. Who also btw, without the coworker who drives her she was always at least an hour late WITH transportation.

She piped up, saying how nurse should give her the kid that SHE would raise it. Then goes on about how abortion should be illegal, women should keep their legs shut if their going to be irresponsible. Because that's what she did, etc.

The Pez dispenser (love that!) may be under the delusion that she is responsible but everything you've said about her makes her sound completely irresponsible. Can't afford her life, too many damn kids, irresponsible spending and doesn't have reliable transportation. I bet she is a total train wreck and always has a dramatic story, too. She sounds like an immature irresponsible twenty-something.

That's an understatement to the ninth degree!

I've actually seen and had her tell me all this firsthand. As I have been one of the unfortunates who have had to give her a few rides.

I watched her kids try to sneak out in the dead of night, and her oldest climb on a kitchen window like spiderman with no thought for safety. She tells me CPS likes to make frequent stops at her place if someone at school sees a bruise. Because apparently the kids like to beat on each other, and she's had to install locks in the inside of the house to keep them in. Which don't work all that often, then they wander while she sleeps.

The other night alone, she was griping to me that the kids thought it would be a fun idea, to take all her spices out of the cup boards and scatter them. Then take all the shelves out of the fridge, before taking turns locking each other in it. And that was the highlight condensed version of events.

Her unpaid bills are well over 2 grand, because last year she thought it would be a great idea to not pay electric all winter. Also she had an old jalopy until recently when it blew the engine, so she couldn't afford to get another. She can't even afford a crappy burner phone for work purposes. I think her landlord is a slumlord/desperate to keep someone in the house. It seems like getting paid on time is a distant fantasy for them.

Don't even get me started about her boyfriend, he's skinny as a rail and while I am not against tattoos. This guy takes it to another level, he's got them all over his face, neck and hair. I've never seen anything like it, he looks like a lizard. Like a typical breeder, coworker sunk a lot of her money into him, instead of her kids. Now, she's paying for it in more ways than one.

Yet, she goes on how her kids saved her life and whatnot. All I see is a run of the mill, trashy breeder who doesn't and or can't make better choices for their lives and is making more cycles of future poverty.

the BF sounds like an ex-con meth head? Any other indications of that?

Actually no, he is not. That was the last ex-husband, this current model is a tattoo artist. That's where his extensive ink comes from and he is completely clean, Thank Goddess! After her last ex, coworker goes nuts if someone even jokes about drugs around her kids.