CF people who treat their pets like kids

Yet another article that gets it wrong by claiming childfree people are choosing pets over children. Childfree people are choosing not to have children, and then some of them are also choosing to have pets. And then maybe some of them are opting to treat their pets like kids.

But I don't think "pampering" necessarily means someone is treating pets like children. I've met two people who did that, one was CF and thought her dog should go everywhere, and the other was a wanna-breed who was clearly making up for the deficiency of children by anthropomorphising her dogs.


And, as the article points out, not everyone agrees that pets are substitute kids:

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But the idea of pets replacing kids is a contentious topic in the child-free community. In the r/childfree subreddit, which has 594,000 members who discuss their choices to live child-free, some bristle at the idea of assuming a child-to-pet equivalency. Others readily confess to having “cats instead of children”.

So why conflate them in the title, I wonder?

Yeah, I have to admit that I treat my birds like kids. The biggie for me is that Conner talks, and he speaks in context, which is kind of strange. He's been doing that since he was a baby. When he asks a question, I always answer him.

For instance, today we had the birds on the deck because the weather is quite nice. There was an eagle flying in the distance, and Conner was watching it soar. He asked me, "What's that?" and I told him. He only asks if it's something he really doesn't know about.

I do know they are birds, though, and while they are more like family to me than just pets, I make sure that they are respected as birds.

As an aside, my husband was listening to the radio in his truck one morning, and the radio guy was asking this lady about what was the best thing about having kids. She told him it's when they say, "I love you, mommy." Husband told me this, and I laughed, because Conner says that to me all the time. He flies over to my shoulder, says, "I love you, mummy" and kisses me. I guess I get the best part of having sprogs without actually having them at all?

It's probably because pets ask very little and will love you unconditionally. Meanwhile, kids want everything yet are never ever happy, and will still tell you they hate you even if you give them the sun, the moon and the stars.

I don't know if I'd call pets substitute kids because unlike kids, pets actually bring people joy that they don't have to fake. I loved my kitties and I called them my babies, but I don't think I'd equate them with children, mainly because I didn't hate them. They were furry companions. And I wouldn't equate pampering with just children either. You can pamper anyone or anything you love - spouses, friends, pets, kids, yourself, parents, plants, cars, and anything in between. For some people, their flower gardens are their "babies" and for others, their restored vintage muscle car is their "baby."

Breeders take offense to CF people saying they have non-human "babies" because they don't like someone tooting their horn without putting in the shit work and/or actually enjoying the responsibility they signed up for.

I wish people would just live and let live. Who exactly is it harming for someone to call their pet their baby?

I guess it may be contentious for a small subset but I'd like to think most of us are thrilled there are others who are childfree and really don't care about something so trivial. And when a childfree adopts a rescue pet they are heroes in my book, I couldn't care less how they refer to their pets.

I think of the animals outside as part of nature that I watch out and care for and some people may associate that with the qualities of a parent. I plant flowers for bees and other insects. And I look for snakes and animals that may be ran over in the road, etc.. I feel like this is more of being a good steward for the planet and living creatures. They aren't my pets but they are part of the environment and deserve care and consideration.

I don't treat my pets as children. I treat them WAY better than I would treat children.

You all make excellent points.

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Cambion
Breeders take offense to CF people saying they have non-human "babies" because they don't like someone tooting their horn without putting in the shit work and/or actually enjoying the responsibility they signed up for.

Yup. They already compete with each other for who's breeding best-- bio or adopted, natural or C-section, titfeed or bottle, blah blah blah blah blah...then here we come with pets who adore us effortlessly, are superior to being saddled with brats in every way, and how dare we think we have any kind of similar relationship to what they have with their precious children! It's just another way in which breeders seriously need to get the fuck over themselves.

I personally don't see my pets as "fur kids" of any of that, and part of me winces a bit when well-meaning people refer to me as my cat's "mom". If I wanted to be a mom, I'd have children.

That said, parents need to tend to their own biz and dealing with any curdling resentment about people "getting away" with having a dependent who's not a kid and won't need any post-secondary training or education.

Parents need to get over it. I don’t really think I’m my dog’s mom. I’m more like her roommate because there’s not really any telling her what to do unless I have food. My roommate that tells me if someone’s at the door, that’s afraid of the dark and likes to cuddle with me, but more a roommate than a kid really. Plus I love her way more than I’d love a kid.

Sometimes I call her baby girl. I used to binge watch TLOU so that phrase got lodged into my vernacular. When she’s barking or whining and pacing I’ll say “baby girl, what’s wrong?!” But that doesn’t mean I think I’m her parent. Having said that, I know some people that DO think their pets are like kids. And that’s absolutely fine. Instead of worrying about how close CF people are to their pets, breeders need to start worrying about how their kids misbehave in public, or paying off their years overdue lunch tab.

Lock him up or put him down.
Stolen from Shiny.

I got looks like this walking two pugs in strollers. They were not replacement kids; one lost his hind end and could not walk long distances but at 18 still wanted to go everywhere with me. The other (age 13) had degenerative myelopathy (similar to ALS) but her mind was still sharp and she still wanted to be near me. Both were spoiled until they made their journey over the rainbow bridge this year.

Perhaps they were treated better than the judgy parents treated their kids. Food for thought, judgy parents.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

I don't think of my pets as replacement kids. They are companions but they are also part of the family. That means not abandoning them if you move (I'd never consider an apartment that did not allow pets), if you meet someone who is allergic or if you have human kids. It does not mean getting rid of them when they grow up because they are no longer "cute." (I myself like mature pets.)

Having a dog means putting in the hours to train a dog. It means taking them for walks and paying attention to them. It does not mean chaining them up in the yard and forgetting about them. It means paying their medical bills, taking care of their teeth and buying them supplements if it means they have a better quality of life. If you have a cat, it means having Number of cats + 1 litter boxes. It means having litter boxes on each floor. It never ceases to amaze me how people with two story houses expect their cat to pee in the basement when humans have bathrooms on each floor. It also means cleaning litter boxes.

If all of the above means I'm "pampering" a pet, so be it. If I treat my pets better than humans treat their kids, it's because those people are shitty parents, not that I'm an indulgent pet owner.

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contemplativeintrovert
Parents need to get over it. I don’t really think I’m my dog’s mom. I’m more like her roommate because there’s not really any telling her what to do unless I have food. My roommate that tells me if someone’s at the door, that’s afraid of the dark and likes to cuddle with me, but more a roommate than a kid really. Plus I love her way more than I’d love a kid.

Well put. I think with my cat I'm somewhere between "roommate" and "housekeeper/staff". The cat loves to hang out on the couch with me when I'm watching TV or playing video games, blabs on about nothing, etc. But also, I am expected to serve her dinner, wash her dishes, put down a box so she can sit in it (too old to hop on the table and get to the box...she has me trained, sigh). Also, she's a really financially irresponsible roommate who doesn't kick in for her share of bills and refuses to get a job.