"I want another baby but it would stall my career"

In this response to a letter, Mariella considers it sexist that a project schedule can't accommodate a pregnancy. In her rambling response she manages to be outraged that someone didn't want to accommodate her breastfeeding schedule when she was a freelancer.

Some of the letters are fortunately sane:

Quote
CF woman
Mariella's advice would suit a woman who works in a job that is the same every day, where someone else can easily fill in for her maternity leave.

The letter-writer does not have such a job - she works on projects and worries that a pregnancy in the next year will disrupt a promised project. This is reasonable, and in fact, it shows that she is a good project manager.

I'm actually livid at Mariella's advice - instead of pointing out that the husband is worringly dismissive of her concerns about the timing of a pregnancy, Mariella thinks that the letter writer should just go on ahead and have a baby in the middle of a project, disrupting the work as well as her own career, because me-me-me is a sensible attitude to both work and motherhood.

Quote
Another person
and I want a trip around the world, and I want a sailboat and a sports car... It is time that we weigh the costs and trade-offs of having children in the same way we weigh the affordability and trade-offs of other things we may aspire to. Wanting a 3rd child is akin to wanting a sports car, very expensive and not great for the environment.

What kind of distasteful shit is this? Harvey Weinstein and sexual ASSAULT have nothing to do the choice to become pregnant and the effect it has on a woman's job. It is offensive to equate the two.

Quote

I don’t know what sex your first child is, but once you have a daughter it’s hard to take anything on the chin that spells unfairness for her future. You have every right to run this new project, no responsibility to inform your boss that you are thinking of having another baby and every reason to forge ahead with energy and enthusiasm on both fronts.

And her boss has every right to assign the project as he sees fit. It's unfair to any boss, male or female, to have his/her hands tied to someone who cannot fulfill the job. If that's what the law does now, the law sucks.

Look, I agree that this woman should not automatically be assigned to a different project should she become pregnant. I've known women who worked up until their due dates without a problem and they came back 2-3 weeks later. They are making the choice to put their career aspirations above their personal comfort and they make arrangements to have their kid taken care of. They like their jobs, or they need their jobs or maybe they are ambitious.

However, this woman is indicating she still wants six months off and she has to know that she will not get this project if that happens. She is self-selecting herself out of the job. She is stressing over the obvious conflict of liking her job and not wanting to torpedo it right now.

Mariella is giving her misguided advice. Rather than this "know your rights" bullshit, she should be telling her to figure out what the really wants and act accordingly. Make the choice, pay the price. Or not. Where is it written in stone that she MUST have two children?

Quote

A BBC boss told my agent 15 years ago when my daughter was born that my “breastfeeding schedule was inconvenient” and stopped using me.

Mariella, this is code for "you are not fulfilling the requirements of the job." Whatever talents Mariella brought to the table were not enough for someone to work around. Everyone has stuff and if you are good enough and dedicated enough, most good bosses will want to keep you because good people are hard to find.

Mariella likely does not have a clue what a project manager does. There are some jobs when you have to be there, and project manager is one of them. I myself have worked on some serious projects, projects with hundreds of tasks that are so damn complicated they have to be put into a software program. There are dependences and timelines and critical paths. One thing slips up or is late, and it can affect something else. And YOU are being paid to care about it and bring it all home.

This is about job requirements, not sexism or discrimination.

Some projects can cost companies millions to postpone for any reason. I guess this fact didn't register with wanna-preg. It is all about her!

And yes, freelancing is about the schedule more than the whims of the freelancer. If she is so offended she can find a project manager job that isn't freelancing where the employer will have to hire a freelancer to cover her inpig leaves.

I heard an interview on the radio where they were talking about discrimination against pregnant women in the workplace, so yeah, I already have an opinion, but the person being interviewed said something like "the perfect worker is one who starts in their mid-20s and works for 40 years without taking time off to have children, and let's face it, that's describing men," and I thought, "Fuck you, bitch." No allowance for women who choose not to get pregnant, or even those who can't. I'm a wildly staunch feminist, but that even pissed me off.

A woman expecting that a pregnancy won't affect her career is the same as any breeder who thinks procreating won't affect their lives. Unless you're rich enough to foist your sprogs off on a nanny to raise, kids change your life. Period. I really don't understand how people don't know that by now.

Well, duh a pregnancy changes your career prospects. Thats fairly obvious and expecting anything else is stupid. Unless your wealthy and don't really need to work. Or the bent could simply decide not to have kids.
Maybe its me, but I don't consider it sexism for workplaces not wanting to accommodate pregnant moos. Of course, you can't have it all and sometimes you have to decide what you want more. And the comments had some mention of moos getting flexibility in the workplace, but this comes at the expense of childless/CF coworkers. Of course, breeders never think about anyone except their kids and themselves.

I feel like employers kind of have to discriminate because pregnant women and breeders are some of the least productive employees you can have. Even if they were good employees pre-sprog, they'll often turn into shitty employees post-sprog. Constantly leaving early, coming in late, or calling off the whole day because of the kids. Doing less and less, but fully expecting to get paid the same, if not more. Expecting everybody else to pick up the slack for their many absences, but NEVER being willing to reciprocate and generally putting their job/career FAR below their kids, which is their personal life.

Employers shouldn't expect any employee to be a slave to them and forsake having a life, but breeders - particularly Moos - tend to treat their jobs like little annoyances that they'll do only if they feel like it. But they still want all the job perks of the person who busts their ass at the same job and may even ask for raises and promotions and act like their reproductive status makes them more qualified.

I can see why employers may favor men because even male breeders tend to act more professionally in the workplace (particularly if they're the breadwinners and have to support their SAHM wives and brats) whereas a lot of breeder women tend to think that nothing is more important than being someone's mommy and they shouldn't be held to any standards.I mean fuck, look how many Moos will list motherhood on their resumes as a job!

I'm all for equality in the workplace, but breeder women want the benefits of equality without putting in the same effort. Notice I specify breeder women, because I don't see this kind of shit nearly as much in unchilded women. Seems like non-breeder women are willing to work for that equality while breeder women just want it handed to them. It sucks when employers feel like they can't hire women, but I can understand the hesitation. Why don't these career breeders work their way up to management and then hire all women, either to give them a chance or learn why they suck as employees.

Quote
yurble
In this response to a letter, Mariella considers it sexist that a project schedule can't accommodate a pregnancy. In her rambling response she manages to be outraged that someone didn't want to accommodate her breastfeeding schedule when she was a freelancer.

Some of the letters are fortunately sane:

Quote
CF woman
Mariella's advice would suit a woman who works in a job that is the same every day, where someone else can easily fill in for her maternity leave.

The letter-writer does not have such a job - she works on projects and worries that a pregnancy in the next year will disrupt a promised project. This is reasonable, and in fact, it shows that she is a good project manager.

I'm actually livid at Mariella's advice - instead of pointing out that the husband is worringly dismissive of her concerns about the timing of a pregnancy, Mariella thinks that the letter writer should just go on ahead and have a baby in the middle of a project, disrupting the work as well as her own career, because me-me-me is a sensible attitude to both work and motherhood.

Quote
Another person
and I want a trip around the world, and I want a sailboat and a sports car... It is time that we weigh the costs and trade-offs of having children in the same way we weigh the affordability and trade-offs of other things we may aspire to. Wanting a 3rd child is akin to wanting a sports car, very expensive and not great for the environment.

It is blatantly obvious that this breeder doesn't have a brain to think with. She probably shat it out with her last loaf. If I was her employer, I would seek to discreetly find a way to sack this breeder bitch. She has no regard for herself, her family, or her workmates. One child is MORE than enough for any breeder bitch.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

This doesn't sound as if she's at all positive about getting pregnant at this stage of her career--and with good reason. Her husband is a jerk for not being supportive of her career goals. And just what the bloody hell does Harvey Weinstein to do with this situation?

However, knowing that she already has one sprog, makes me less sympathetic. She needs to make up her mind as to what she wants. More children? Then stay home? A career? Then she needs to realize that she will have to postpone having more children if her career is more important to her.

Quote
MerlynHerne
This doesn't sound as if she's at all positive about getting pregnant at this stage of her career--and with good reason. Her husband is a jerk for not being supportive of her career goals. And just what the bloody hell does Harvey Weinstein to do with this situation?

However, knowing that she already has one sprog, makes me less sympathetic. She needs to make up her mind as to what she wants. More children? Then stay home? A career? Then she needs to realize that she will have to postpone having more children if her career is more important to her.

No, this silly twat needed to make the decision between work and career BEFORE she had the first twat. The decision-making days are over, if I was her employer, I'd ditch her when she had one bun in the oven.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

Quote
craftyzits
No, this silly twat needed to make the decision between work and career BEFORE she had the first twat. The decision-making days are over, if I was her employer, I'd ditch her when she had one bun in the oven.

Good way to get sued, and to lose, big time. Besides, I don't see any reason people can't work when pregnant, or when they have children. What shouldn't be allowed is using either as an excuse to slack off.

Quote
yurble

Quote
craftyzits
No, this silly twat needed to make the decision between work and career BEFORE she had the first twat. The decision-making days are over, if I was her employer, I'd ditch her when she had one bun in the oven.

Good way to get sued, and to lose, big time. Besides, I don't see any reason people can't work when pregnant, or when they have children. What shouldn't be allowed is using either as an excuse to slack off.

And we KNOW this bitch wouldn't slack off? LOL.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

Quote
yurble
Good way to get sued, and to lose, big time. Besides, I don't see any reason people can't work when pregnant, or when they have children. What shouldn't be allowed is using either as an excuse to slack off.

Agreed. If you start discriminating against people working when pregnant or they have children better be prepared to be sued or figure out a way to start paying them all to breed. If employers are stupid enough to allow them to slack off at least they're the ones paying for it and it isn't a widespread tax burden.

"Harvey Weinstein and sexual ASSAULT have nothing to do the choice to become pregnant and the effect it has on a woman's job. It is offensive to equate the two"

For sure


I think Mariella was saying that Weinstein and his rape of now wealthy actresses is in the media to deflect from the "real issues" ie mommies in the workplace not being able to screw over employers or others in the name of "feminism."