Duh hides in the bathroom when he has to be a parent

https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/elpvjj/aita_for_turning_off_the_wifi_when_my_husband/

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The gist of the story is the guy is a father to 1-year-old twins and he has an implied GI issue that he occasionally takes meds for, but lately he's been spending increasingly longer periods of time in the bathroom when he has to actually take care of his own brats - I mean "babysit." Moo suggests he haul his ass to the doctor for his "worsening" condition and he refuses.

So Moo decides to shut off the wifi while he's in there because he would just hide in the bathroom for half an hour watching Youtube instead of taking care of his crying hungry kids and it magically cut his bathroom time in half. A vast majority of the day, he's on his computer and playing games, but when it comes time to feed or change the loaves, he conveniently needs to go take a 25-minute shit with his phone.

I'm banking on one of two things: an oops, or a He'll Love It When It Gets Here. I know plenty of folks who are hardcore gamers and it's not a bad thing - plus I'd be lying if I said I never spent hours at a time sitting on my ass playing something I was really into, but that's also why I don't have kids and neither do any of the aforesaid gamers I know. Sounds like Duh doesn't want to be a Duh, but also probably didn't do a whole lot to to prevent what I'm sure was a "happy accident."

Edited to add: Judging by the comments in the link, it seems like this behavior and just overall avoidance of parental responsibilities is a common thing with men. I'm guessing because they're lazy fucks, they didn't want kids in the first place, or they figure kids are the woman's job. Or mix and match any of the three.

If you go into the breakingmom sub, you'll see lots of moo posts complaining about "useless" men taking a long man shit.

I have conflicted feelings on this. Yes, they're his kids and he should be contributing 50% of sprogcare. If moo works full-time, he needs to do his share and that means doing your business, wiping up and carrying on with the kids that you helped to make.

If moo is a SAHMoo, then all bets are off because duh is basically paying for moo to be home with the kids all day. If he's paying 100% of the bills, then moo should STFU and take care of the kids because the alternative is her getting her ass to work all day and bratcare in the evening. In that case I'd say let him have his man shit, because he's funding her lifestyle.

I think they must both work because the author mentions them both being on maternity/paternity leave, so I guess unless one works more than the other, they should have an equal share of the shit work. I have a feeling Duh probably doesn't like his job either and he can get away with hiding in the bathroom at work when faced with stuff he doesn't want to do and blame it on his "condition."

I'm guessing guys like this get all excited about having kids because it involves bareback sex and proving their fertility/masculinity, but the second Junior comes out, they want nothing to do with it. That's probably what happened here and Duh wants to spend his vacation/paternity leave doing stuff he wants and he can just leave the brats with the babysitter Moo.

I'm not surprised. To be fair, I'd be hiding in the bathroom pretending to shit too if I had to deal with kids. That's usually what I do when I have to be around kids for an extended period of time, especially if those kids want to actually be near me. But that doesn't really work when they're your kids.

And wow, r/breakingmom is full of fail. I don't need another sub to read! But it seems they hate us over there. Boo hoo: https://old.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/e5bgfr/i_hate_fanatically_childfree_people_im_not_sorry/

of course they hate us. they supply us with schaedenfreude. there is a statement in reddit on some schmuck blaming cf for being intrusive and abrasive. I will admit to being abrasive. and there may well be cf people out for vengence, who like to blow up moo and duh forums. gave whomever a piece of my mind. i'm sure they'll respond with typical mushy placenta brain platitudes.


still hysterical how they avoid playing duh.. and the idiot moos going to that length to try and get them to engage. dumb cows. you picked it. and what kind of resentment do you build by pulling stunts to force interaction from the uninterested sperm donor. bed, made. lie.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

I have no sympathy for women who are convinced the duh will do half the work and then are all surprised Pikachu faced when they get stuck with 99% of the childcare.

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kittehpeoples
I have no sympathy for women who are convinced the duh will do half the work and then are all surprised Pikachu faced when they get stuck with 99% of the childcare.

Exactly! How many times have they heard how worthless duhs can be? Not saying all duhs are worthless but one doesn't have to conduct many internet or personal searches to discover moos hold the bag on brat responsibility in almost all instances.

If they aren't comfortable doing 100% of the crap then don't go there unless they want to wind up a whining nagging harpie who times duh's bathroom breaks.

I'm just thrilled I haven't had to worry about how long the bathroom is occupied beyond the time I lived in a dorm and shared a bathroom with 4 suite mates and had a strange coincidence where we all needed to go at the same time.

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Cambion
And wow, r/breakingmom is full of fail. I don't need another sub to read! But it seems they hate us over there. Boo hoo: https://old.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/e5bgfr/i_hate_fanatically_childfree_people_im_not_sorry/

They hate the women because we didn't become womben and the men because they know that if they are single they won't consider them for dates. I don't hate them, I just don't understand how someone can be so stupid as to weave such misery into their lives.

Gosh, that Breaking Mom reddit might as well be that old site TrueMomConfessions or whatever it was called. The crappy lives they got themselves involved in, between the worrying about different problems at school, or the billizion chores they created for themselves, or the duhds skipping out on Duhd-duty or how they don't have a moment to themselves, blah the fucking blah. They had these kids for happiness, and everything they get from the minute it pops out doesn't look like happiness. They tell it all on this reddit but I'm sure on their FB page it is all smiles and roses, and parunting is a glowing beacon of light.

As said above, I also don't need another site to read and waste more 'net time than I already do, but my god, the Schadenfreude factor is great on that sub.

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cfuter
The crappy lives they got themselves involved in, between the worrying about different problems at school, or the billizion chores they created for themselves, or the duhds skipping out on Duhd-duty or how they don't have a moment to themselves, blah the fucking blah.

What is with all the weird talk of moos/duhs handing over baybeez to one or the other when on the toilet? Do these people not have cribs or somewhere else to put the baybeez? I'd think it is difficult to impossible to finish while holding a baybee. I get the impression that it is some kind of weird passive aggressive control but it is a creepy dynamic. When a person is mowing the lawn, on the toilet, etc. they are "indisposed" put the baybeez in the crib! And the person in the bathroom needs to learn to lock the door.

And womben with the worthless duhs who decide they'll just leave the baybeez and abandon them to have a day out? A worthless duh isn't going to take care of the baybee at all because he knows the baybee won't die if neglected for a few hours. It will likely just lie in a crib or something and duh will spend the day doing exactly what he would have done if the moo was attending to the baybee. The moo will come home to a messy house and the baybee will need to be fed and changed, all the work she abandoned will wait for her.

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freya
And womben with the worthless duhs who decide they'll just leave the baybeez and abandon them to have a day out? A worthless duh isn't going to take care of the baybee at all because he knows the baybee won't die if neglected for a few hours. It will likely just lie in a crib or something and duh will spend the day doing exactly what he would have done if the moo was attending to the baybee. The moo will come home to a messy house and the baybee will need to be fed and changed, all the work she abandoned will wait for her.

And then the Moos act shocked when the Duhs proceed to do just that and neglect the housework and kids. I don't know why they think abandoning Duh with the housework and childcare will magically make him want to do it in her absence. I saw something in there about a heifer who decided to seriously consider leaving (or did leave) her husband because she asked him to watch the kid while she napped upstairs and Duh decided to go outside instead because he knew Moo was in the house and the kid wandered upstairs unsupervised. Moos are insanely delusional if they think their little passive-aggressive mind games will work on a Duh who is determined to be lazy and not try.

I am willing to give some guys the benefit of the doubt for two reasons: one, we're only hearing Moo's side of the story here and I'm sure she makes herself out to be the poor widdle victim, and two, I know there are quite a few men out there who want to be involved fathers and share the shitwork, but their control freak Moo-wives won't let them and then they bitch about their "deadbeat" husbands. I'm sure most of them are useless sacks of shit, but I bet some of them want to help and they aren't allowed because Moo is scared a man can do her job just as well, if not better.

There's a BreakingDad sub-Reddit, and big shock, it's private/invitation only. Probably because they were getting harassed by tired bizzy Moos.

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Cambion


There's a BreakingDad sub-Reddit, and big shock, it's private/invitation only. Probably because they were getting harassed by tired bizzy Moos.

Yeah, they don't want the same troubles that TrueDadConfessions had. But when that reality set in, that Dads weren't allowed to complain and the site was taken down (eventually the Moo site was taken down too in long run), I was really surprised to see that Moos were not shy in how discrimatory they could be w/ the male parent figure. Granted the Dads weren't complaining directly about parunthood, but only that Moo wouldn't give 'em sexy time after Sprogging bcuz she was so tired or bizzy w/ babye. That was 90% of the posts. It really was revealing on how different the sexes/genders looked at everything. And, it revealed moos bigotry against their male counter parts, and duhds one track minds about sex, and also they really didn't seem to care that everything around them was changing bcuz of kyd, and how much moos really had to do for said kyd, they wanted their dick to get wet on the regular!!!

Still say I made the right decision.....stay CF people!

I can’t help but notice the very first thing the Breaking Moms subreddit says in the header is “Moms only.” If the childfree one said “childfree only” at the top, you know all the moos would have their panties in a twist over being excluded.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

She has also posted all this in the Am I the Asshole subreddit

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/elpvjj/aita_for_turning_off_the_wifi_when_my_husband/

OMG I guess you can't use the term ManBaby in the sub because it's sexist. There a warning posted. I'm all for equality but the 'net is totally bubble wrapped.

Yep, r/breakingdad went private/invitation only, because unhappy moos were posting shit in their sub.

The breakingmom sub is a whole next level of fail These women chose to breed with some truly lowlife men and complain how shitty their lives turned out because of it. They used to have a visible thread with an interactive map where members could pin where they're from. They could also post details about their lives. So many of those brokenmoos started out as teen and/or single moos. Well yeah, if you start popping them out at 14 or 15, life will be shitty. So many seem to be barely hanging on financially. That's what you get when you breed what you can't feed. The only positive aspect of that sub is the majority seem to be very pro-choice.

I lurk there from time to time and say thank heavens this won't be me.

Well I spent over 3 hours on the AITA reddit reading all their responses and it is AMAZING how many men are hiding in the bathrooms across the nation evidently w/o guilt that they are not participating in duhdhood. I know men were notoriously spending tons of time in the bathroom with newspapers(?maybe w/ Playboys tucked inside?) but it all seems to be linked to the WiFi becuz this moo is not the first to shut off the routers. Many are leaving the crying brats w/ moo while they jag off for 45mins to 3 hours w/ porn on the phone, or texting w/ their mistresses. Wow, just wow. I'm so glad this is not a problem in my household. But, this dude is stupid, he was trying to convince the moo it was his meds causing his bathroom habits, he had to know she was getting suspicious about his slacking, because she asked him about it and also asked his doctor about it, and he said 'it wasn't that bad' to go back to the doctor about it. So, when she turned of the WiFi, he shoulda just stayed on the toilet because now moo knows what a liar he is. I can't imagine how much this duhd hates duhdhood since he is spending the entire day away from his wife and children as he is doing his hobbies, then shitting behind closed doors when he is really needed. I mean he's spending his entire paternity leave away from every living being in the house! If you have time, the AITA response are even better than the BreakingMoo responses in the long run. They run the gamut.


I really wish I didnt discover this reddit because I wasted the day on it, without even really trying. Im mad at myself and now have to cram all my chores in the next 3 days before the weekend stuff I have to do. Not a good use of my time at all. (but we know moos already do this on FB don't we? LOL )

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LoveToLurk
I can’t help but notice the very first thing the Breaking Moms subreddit says in the header is “Moms only.” If the childfree one said “childfree only” at the top, you know all the moos would have their panties in a twist over being excluded.

I love that too. Funny how if it's breeders only, or something unofficially designated as breeders only (like Disneyworld), they're allowed to say that. But anyone else does it and the Moos are the first ones to start screaming discrimination.

There are also some Duhs who post on BreakingMom, but they seem to walk on eggshells. Understandable because Duh is the enemy for a vast majority of the Moos there so men posting in that sub are venturing into dangerous territory like explorers trying to make peaceful contact with violent natives on a remote island.

And LOLwut, you can call Duh every name in the book, but they can't say "man-baby?" What a bunch of pussies. I wonder what would happen if someone called one of these bizzy Moos a "woman-baby" just for shits and giggles. I'm pretty sure the ensuing whining would be recorded in history books.

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Meanwhile, shutting off the wifi to shorten Duh's bathroom visits sounds not only passive-aggressive, but like something you'd do with a child. Depending on who the source of the problem is, it speaks volumes about them. If it's Moo, it shows that she's a control freak who has to police her husband's bathroom usage and treat him like a child, like when teachers have to go haul a student out of the bathroom when they're in there dinking around. Or if Duh is the problem, it shows that he's still a child himself and can't be trusted with adult responsibilities and forcing him to do "chores" like parenting is just going to make him cross his arms and go "hmph!" like the brat he is.

But I still blame the Moos either way. Not because I'm a sexist asshole, but they CHOSE these lumps of shit. They dated them, they married them, they moved in with them and they bred with them, most likely not in that order.

I'd wager the Duh in question is counting the days he can go back to work to get away from his family. And WOW, the AITA post is a treasure trove. I love the Moo that "disabled" the bathroom door lock so she can go in while Duh is taking a shit and hand him the loaf and of course she's being praised as a super-mommy. WTF.

Amazing how many AITA have to do w/ parunting.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/es8oxf/aita_for_not_thanking_my_husband_for_taking_care/

Firefighter doesn't want to watch his own child on days he works. Not even an hour, and expects a Thank You for parunting own child.

And, on another note,(from the responses) can we get rid of the word "co-parent"? I could see it being accurate when parunting in two different households after a divorce or whatnot, and being a cooperative divorced parunt, agreeing on rules, and being consistent and supporting each others rules, but not within the same marriage/household. YOU. ARE. A. PARUNT. not a co-parent. Who do fuq invented this stupid word?

I shouldn't have mentioned the breakingmom sub. But it is a whole fuck ton of

Here's another classic one. Anyone notice the key factor? Title is "Dear Husband, that does not count as a break."

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As I go to the grocery on Sunday afternoon, during his nap time(at your request), and you yell out 'enjoy your break away from us'....that does NOT count as a break! I am doing something productive for our household.
As I sit on the kitchen floor while cooking dinner, with you both locked in the living room out of sight, I can hear him screaming at the gate while you continue playing video games...that also does NOT count as a break.
Me taking a shower while he is awake does not count as a break. Neither does going to the bathroom as he bangs and screams at the door for me to come out when you are 5 feet away.
Laundry is also not a break. Nor is cleaning.
I am 6 months pregnant with a 20 month old. I need an ACTUAL break sometimes!

WHYOHWHYOHWHY do these women ALWAYS have another kid or two or three after they see their spouses are uninterested or not helping with the first one?

Fool me once doesn't apply to Moos I guess. Jeebus, use your brains, Women. If a guy screamed for baybee #1 and is worthless, or if you had an oopsie, buck up and take care of the kid you have. I hear it gets a little better when the kids are older in terms of self-sufficiency.

I am also friends IRL with women who say their husbands were not really into the baybee phase but they became more involved once they could take the kid places and interact with it. I do not desire to be around any children, but I guess I can see that to some extent. Babies and toadlers are particularly repellent to me: Babies are smelly, howling shit machines and toadlers are sticky little bundles of Id. I can interact with well behaved teenagers.

But anyway, hopefully these Duds had kids because they wanted them, but I get the distinct impression from a lot of these stories that most of these people are very young and they followed the Life Script or somebody forced the issue.

If I ran the world nobody under age 30 would be having kids, and I'd limit all couples to one or none.

Duh like being around the kids when they're older because they can be "molded." Duh can get the kid interested in video games or football or whatever he likes and they can bond like that (but only when he feels like it, they're Moo's problem the other 23.5 hours of the day), but when the kid is just a shrieking asshole baby or toddler, Duh nopes right out.

I think a lot of these guys enter into relationships believing that kids are the woman's job and they don't have to bother with the kids unless they feel like it. Sometimes they do it because they're dumb and don't get that they're being dicks, but other guys have it laid out for them in plain English and they continue to be deadbeats.

I hate to paint all guys with the same brush because I know there are men who do their best to be active parents to their kids, but I think it's safe for women to assume that any man who wants kids or is neutral toward having them is going to be a slacker if he becomes a father and that having one child will ultimately turn into having two children - the actual infant and the father who becomes completely useless. As long as Moo is okay with essentially being a single parent, things will be just dandy. However, this does not take into consideration the parenting dynamic when one parent stays at home and the other works, in which case the SAHM/SAHD should be shouldering more of the brat work.

I think these lazy fuckers are all products of households where they were doted upon by their own parents and not required to have any responsibilities whatsoever. Consider the fact most people want sons rather than daughters, so when they get that son, they spoil him rotten, especially if he's the only son or the only child. He doesn't have to do fucking ANYTHING because his parents will wait on him hand and foot and he grows up believing his girlfriend or wife will do the same thing and expect nothing from him. My ex was like this - still had Mommy cooking for him and serving him his food well into his twenties and now that he's married, I imagine his wife does exactly the same thing for him because she was raised Christian and most likely taught that she has to do whatever her husband wants.

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bell_flower
If I ran the world nobody under age 30 would be having kids, and I'd limit all couples to one or none.

I would require licence for parenting. You need one to drive a car for shit's sake!

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

I have one question. Why is she cooking dinner while sitting on the floor? I don't get it.

I don't know the person's username, but among the top threads in that sub are multiple chapters by the same Moo who documents her husband's behavior each day she makes him do stuff for himself. A lot of these men are just gigantic infants themselves, but unless these women were forced into arranged marriages, they KNEW what they were in for before saying their vows. Guys like these might behave themselves for a little while, but they can't keep up that lazy bastard facade forever.

Also, I imagine these kinds of men are so useless and lazy at home because they know they can get away with it, and when their Moo-wives attempt to establish rules/boundaries/expectations, they just have to keep on being lazy because what have they got to lose? It's not like they can have their car keys taken away or be grounded. If Moo withholds sex, he'll go bang someone else. If she punishes him by leaving the kids with him, he'll just neglect them. If she makes him do chores, he'll just not do them and she'll eventually cave and do them herself or he'll intentionally do them wrong to discourage her from making him do chores again. If she turns the internet off, he can go use the free wifi in a public place or at a friend's house. If she threatens to leave, he'd probably help her pack. Meanwhile, at work he might not be such a lazy fuck because he risks losing his income.

I'm kinda surprised the Moo in the original topic didn't make a sticker chart for her husband every time he takes a shit that's less than 15 minutes and if he gets a gold star every day for a week, he gets a blowjob.

Whenever I see rants about "spouse isn't stepping up with kids", I go through the things you people have already mentioned: maybe didn't want them, maybe she corrects everything he does with the kids and he's over it, maybe he hates the baby stage but is fine with older kids, etc etc.

But then I also think about how this is yet another example of how, when push comes to shove, you can't really make an adult do anything, so you'd better be damn sure that you're on the same page about the big things (money, sex, kids, religion, chores) before you marry them and/or have kids with them. So many letters to advice columnists all boil down to "My partner does/doesn't do X; how do I get them to change that behavior?". Start out on the same page, support each other, and be willing to pick your battles...but even then, if an adult doesn't want to change, they won't. The real adults were at least raised to look at a situation and figure out when it's time to suck it up and just do it.

also think it's been studied elsewhere: males are just not invested in their offspring the way the moos are

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.