"My boyfriend and I agreed we didn’t want children – but now I’m not sure "

Yet another piece about a couple that agreed on no kids, but now one has second thoughts. And no surprise, she admits that she thought she could change his mind.

Most people commenting are sensible, but there are of course a few advocating for an oops.

Anybody who advocates for an oops obviously hates children.

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Moron
The thing is he doesn’t want children and has been open about that from the start. At the beginning, I told him I felt the same but was secretly hoping he’d change his mind.

Sounds like the basis for a good relationship. She lied to him right off the bat. She knew he didn't want brats and she stayed with him anyway, probably figuring once she got involved/invested enough, it would be "easier" for him to change his mind that lose a woman he loved.

If you're not sure you want kids, then don't have them, period. It's not like you can take them back like a shirt that doesn't fit. Unless both parties are 100% sure they want kids, they shouldn't breed. I don't know why this is so fucking hard.

It sounds like this woman went from wanna-breed to on the fence and her boyfriend is totally CF, and it also sounds to me like she may not necessarily want kids, but she's afraid that her eggs are going to spoil soon and she doesn't like that she won't be able to take her fertility for granted for much longer.

Are people really that lazy that they'd rather make someone do something they don't want to do than find a partner who's more compatible with their choices? I know the answer to that already, but it still boggles my mind that these assholes will try to force someone into an unwanted and unnecessary permanent life choice because they don't want to have to start all over again on the dating scene.

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Cambion
Are people really that lazy that they'd rather make someone do something they don't want to do than find a partner who's more compatible with their choices? I know the answer to that already, but it still boggles my mind that these assholes will try to force someone into an unwanted and unnecessary permanent life choice because they don't want to have to start all over again on the dating scene.

I kind of understand this dishonesty happening with younger people, who don't have any idea yet of how to converse or have intimate relationships. Some may be doing well to even be interacting at all. But past the age of around 25 and it is just really immature.

Oh gawd yes people are that lazy! I've had men lie to me about not wanting kids and anything else you can imagine. Most people are very short-term minded and this is likely one reason why some people make lots of dumb decisions. Queue many dumb baybee decisions. I'm to the point if I ever date again I'm not saying anything about deal breakers, I'm bringing it up in casual conversation in an indirect way and see what he says: Do you have any little nieces/nephews? Because, brother, if the guy wants kids and you mention even nieces and nephews he is likely to get all nostalgic and blurt out he wants kids. Or he may talk on and on about kids this, kids that even if there isn't a niece/nephew. Next!

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freya
I kind of understand this dishonesty happening with younger people, who don't have any idea yet of how to converse or have intimate relationships. Some may be doing well to even be interacting at all. But past the age of around 25 and it is just really immature.

I always thought it was more of a thing with middle aged wannabreeders, especially women. They feel like they're running out of time, and paired with the very universal feeling of a midlife crisis, it creates a tremendous sense of desperation where they will fuck ANYONE if it means a loaf. I don't notice this mindset nearly as much in men who are in the same age range, probably because of one of two reasons: they made it to middle age unchilded on purpose, or because they know sperm is viable for FAR longer than eggs. There are women like this who will get legitimately angry when they find out their date doesn't want kids because how dare he waste her precious time and fertility with his not wanting kids!

But even then, some women will hear this and still lie to the guy's face saying she doesn't want kids and she's already planning the oops. There are so many goddamn people out there who want to reproduce, why the fuck do wannabreeds want to make unwilling people into parents? Shows they don't give a fuck about what kind of life or upbringing the potential child will have, just so long as Moo gets babby. If these Moos grew up with parents who hated them for existing, they'd know what a shit choice it is to make someone a parent who doesn't want to be one.

I love the fact that we put more thought into breeding than breeders do, not just in the sense of choosing not to reproduce, but all the things that go wrong with parenthood.