Anybody else see this reddit post?

Moo has 7 miscarriages and 1 stillborn (7.5 months, she claims), then finds out she can't bring a pregnancy to term (no fucking kidding). She has a kid via surrogate, because her DNA is precious, I guess. THEN SHE FUCKING GETS PREGNANT AGAIN AND DOESN'T ABORT. Her mother freaks out at her during funeral planning (two full funerals for the 2 stillborns), says some admittedly awful things, moo cuts contact. Okay, whatever, the mother was being a bitch.

However. Moo goes off in her post (AITA for banning mother from funeral/cutting contact) about how her daughter isn't the only grandchild, her "dead kids still count!" And in the comments a very few people are calling her out on 1. getting pregnant; 2. not terminating when she knew what would happen; 3. possibly doing so and planning a funeral for attention; and 4. she needs to reexamine her birth control methods. She is of course starting to argue with those people in the comments, and moderators have already removed one of the "offenders" for suggesting she should use more effective birth control and terminate as soon as she knows she's pregnant. Like a sane person.

Link is here, but I don't know how much longer it will be up. Heaven forbid anyone tell a moo who's miscarried that she bears any fucking responsibility after failed pregnancy #8.

It's been removed.

Quote
randomcfchick
It's been removed.

Ha, I knew it was only a matter of time. Mustn't tell a moo she's an idiot for not using birth control or aborting.

I have no sympathy for women who have this many miscarriages under their belts. If they can't learn after three losses that they can't carry to term and refuse to abort or use birth control to prevent it from happening, then I don't feel sorry for them. But sometimes I wonder if they milk it for the attention because they'll get it whether they have a live child or if they lose another one.

Not to mention the fact that miscarriage can be potentially dangerous. A lot of people think it's just a heavy period and the biggest risk is the woman being butthurt, but it's very possible for a woman to become septic after a pregnancy loss, either by miscarriage or abortion. I think it happens when your body retains pregnancy tissue after your body has recognized that you are no longer pregnant and goes into panic mode.

But women like this don't want to be told they're morons, they just want ass pats.

Quote
Cambion
I have no sympathy for women who have this many miscarriages under their belts. If they can't learn after three losses that they can't carry to term and refuse to abort or use birth control to prevent it from happening, then I don't feel sorry for them.

This story was even better than that: she had medical professionals tell her she couldn't carry to term. And she tried again anyway at least once (it was unclear in the post exactly when she got told-- one stillbirth was after being told, but no telling how many miscarriages).

I agree they figure what the hell, they get attention either way-- sometimes I think the attention is greater/better for the stillbirths and miscarriages. It's all the sympathy and attention of a birth without the burden of a child afterward. I was just talking the other day about a woman who posts about her "babies in heaven" every year on the anniversaries of the days she lost them. She has a kid who has been taught to think of them as siblings. I had an ex-in law who was told she shouldn't get pregnant because of health risks to both her and the potential offspring, so of course she did; the first time it worked and the second, not so much. The story we got ranged from "stillborn" to "died immediately" to "lingered for hours." Later I was told her first kid told someone he "has a sister, she's just up in heaven." I really, really wonder what those kids' attitudes will be when they grow up, if they'll resent the fact that their actual lives were ranked equally with those of fetuses/infants their parents never truly knew. It certainly seems cruel to me.

Quote
kittehpeoples

I agree they figure what the hell, they get attention either way-- sometimes I think the attention is greater/better for the stillbirths and miscarriages. It's all the sympathy and attention of a birth without the burden of a child afterward. I was just talking the other day about a woman who posts about her "babies in heaven" every year on the anniversaries of the days she lost them. She has a kid who has been taught to think of them as siblings. I had an ex-in law who was told she shouldn't get pregnant because of health risks to both her and the potential offspring, so of course she did; the first time it worked and the second, not so much. The story we got ranged from "stillborn" to "died immediately" to "lingered for hours." Later I was told her first kid told someone he "has a sister, she's just up in heaven." I really, really wonder what those kids' attitudes will be when they grow up, if they'll resent the fact that their actual lives were ranked equally with those of fetuses/infants their parents never truly knew. It certainly seems cruel to me.

I think this is exactly it. They get attention for being pregnant, extra bonus pity attention when it dies, and they don’t get stuck with raising a kid when the attention naturally wanes. They can repeat the process by getting pregnant again, and they can get a yearly boost in pity attention by celebrating the “birthday.” Plenty of attention for being a parent without having to do any of the related work.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

A lot of people on reddit cannot handle truth or common sense.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

And can you imagine how much people double down on the attention when they know Moo is pregnant again after a past miscarriage? It's just like how they portray piggos on TV and in movies - oh gosh, don't lift a finger honey! Not in your condition! Let me do everything! You should rest/sleep! And remember to eat for two, so go have your third breakfast before lunch! You farted - we should go to the ER to make sure you're still pregnant! Because a Moo with a miscarriage merit badge has a more delicate condition when she's incubating another one compared to a woman who hasn't lost a pregnancy, or at least that's probably what people think.

But even the biggest udder-kissing breeder pleasers would probably tire of all that fawning after the eighth of ninth clump loss.

Quote
randomcfchick
It's been removed.

https://www.removeddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/exd48y/aita_kicked_mother_out_of_my_childs_funeral_and/

Here it is:

"Long story short, I (31F) and my husband (31) have had 7 miscarriages and 2 stillborn sons at about 7.5 months.

I’ve been tested and learnt my womb cannot contain a full term pregnancy. We learnt this a few years ago and had a daughter (2) by surrogate but I unexpectedly became pregnant last year delivering our second stillborn son only in November 2019.

My mother has made comments about not using birth control effectively over the years and even horrible comments about using another woman’s womb to carry my biological child. I finally lost it when she made horrible comments as I was planning my sons funeral last year.

She said, “If you and (my husband) weren’t so fucking reckless and stupid, all your kids wouldn’t be dead. The only reason your second son is dead is the same as your first, your body is faulty and it’s your karma. It all on you.”

She effectively blames me for losing all my children and I banned her from the funeral and told her I never wanted to talk to her again. She has tried guilting me by telling me I didn’t allow her to say bye to her grandson and that I’m depriving her of seeing her only grandchild. I had to remind her my daughter wasn’t her only grandchild as my older dead kids still count!

My husband is completely on my side but my family are calling me an AH as my mother has somehow made out kike she’s the victim"

Quote
kittehpeoples
The story we got ranged from "stillborn" to "died immediately" to "lingered for hours." Later I was told her first kid told someone he "has a sister, she's just up in heaven." I really, really wonder what those kids' attitudes will be when they grow up, if they'll resent the fact that their actual lives were ranked equally with those of fetuses/infants their parents never truly knew. It certainly seems cruel to me.

"Why can't you act like your sister, the one who is in heaven? She was so quiet and perfect". Or better yet, correcting the younguns when they dare to exclude their deceased siblings "you actually have (how many kids including the fetuses, etc.) brothers and sisters. Don't forget to count the ones in heaven!" Or moo, at every opportunity when asked how many kids she has, "well, actually I have XX kids but only XX are living." Sympathy pat time!

I saw the original post before it was removed. Some people were starting to comment and wonder why she would put herself through all of that.

Who the Hell knows what happened. The whole lot of them could just be trashy nut jobs--you might know the type: trashy, feuding Rednecks who are always involved in big time family drama.

Parts of the story could each have degrees of truth. The mother could have disparaged her daughter for using a surrogate because Real Womben^TM carry their baybees. She could have also called her daughter "reckless and stupid" because she is. The daughter could be a nut job who "accidentally" forgot to take her birth control and secretly hoped she would finally carry a chyld successfully even though she failed many times before. (Definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.)

This makes the think she is a nut job:

Quote

I had to remind her my daughter wasn’t her only grandchild as my older dead kids still count!

Count as what? In order to be a "dead child" don't you have to be born alive, then die? A miscarried clump is not born alive. A stillborn baby is not born alive. When infant mortality was a thing, people used to understand this.

Drift: When I got an official copy of my birth certificate because I needed a passport, I was surprised to see this on it:

Mother's name and age (to be expected)

Previous deliveries to mother:
1. How many other children are now living?
2. How many other children were born alive but are now dead?
3. How many fetal deaths (fetuses born dead at ANY time after conception)

I was born in North Carolina in the 1960's. A lot of this sounds extremely nosy and paternalistic. What business is it of the state how many miscarriages a woman has? I wonder if this information is still being collected? I surely hope not.

This is how I found out my mom had three miscarriages. It's not as if she was moaning about it all the time and advising me of my lost sisters or brothers.

Sounds like both the mother and the author of the original Reddit post are nuts. Even if she disagrees with her moron daughter's breeding habits, it's none of her business if they're "reckless." But the daughter would benefit from some kind of therapy if she's been told she can't carry to term and continues to try and she views her miscarried clumps as real children and also as legitimate siblings to her living ones.

I've mentioned it already, but miscarriages do pose some level of danger to a woman's health and there's always a chance it won't go smoothly and the woman could get deathly sick.

Quote
freya
"Why can't you act like your sister, the one who is in heaven? She was so quiet and perfect". Or better yet, correcting the younguns when they dare to exclude their deceased siblings "you actually have (how many kids including the fetuses, etc.) brothers and sisters. Don't forget to count the ones in heaven!" Or moo, at every opportunity when asked how many kids she has, "well, actually I have XX kids but only XX are living." Sympathy pat time!

Yup, and there's no way to compete with that kind of shit because not only did the dead ones not live long enough to become imperfect like the living ones did, they didn't live at all, meaning that Moo has total freedom to create their personalities entirely in her imagination and then hold her living kids to those standards. I'm sure her existing child will only be messed up a lot not only being constantly compared to her dead "siblings," but also because I imagine Moo will be super-controlling toward the kid because she experienced so many losses before getting her child via surrogate.

Her Moo sounds like a narcissist and I have a feeling the clump dumper herself is probably one too.

Parenting license needs to be required before attempting to breed.

So few will qualify that we will have a cleaned out Earth in short order.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!