Parents give a no-holds-barred obituary for son.

Came across the following obituary being discussed on another message board. It just goes to show that "good parenting" (as opposed to "breeders") can only go so far- it may push the odds in favor of the child becoming a productive member of society as an adult. However, those odds will *never* be 100%. At the end of the day, the child will ultimately do what he/she wants. And this gets back to the age-old nature vs. nurture debate which belongs in its own thread. Anyhow,this is another reason that I'm glad to be childfree. I don't need that kind of complexity in my life-my parrots are enough . Gotta say though, the authors of this obit were definitely keeping it real. If anything, it serves as a sad cautionary tale:

Robert Wells III (1997 - 2020)

Robert Wells, III was born in St. Bernard Parish, October 9, 1997 to Robert Wells, Jr. and Deborah Wells. He spent the years after hurricane Katrina in the St. Charles Parish area until his murder on Sunday, February 16, 2020. As loving parents, we were not prepared for the untimely, tragic death of our young son He was a wonderful, funny, intelligent, talented and compassionate young man until the false desires of fast money and instant gratification lured him away from the morals and ethics instilled in him from a young age.

Tough Love did not deter his mindset to stay involved in the streets. We always hoped that one day his parents' Love and commitment to him would prevail and he would abandon that life. It did not. His life ended almost instantly at 22 years old, alone in a car under a barrage of gunfire. All the fast money, cars and "things" that seemingly were of importance to him, meant nothing at his crossing. We hope and pray that Robert never bestowed this kind of senseless violence upon anyone else's child, and if this obituary can offer the opportunity for another young person to realize the streets offer nothing but heartache, pain, and ultimately death, Robert's life will not have been in vain. His pained soul is now set free from all worldly desires. Dear God, please take our son, the most precious gift you could bestow upon us at his birth, back once again as your Heavenly son. Lord, keep him in your loving arms for eternity and, forgive us. Robert was predeceased by his grandparents Robert and Bertha Wells, Sr. and George H. Dupard, Sr., Ingeborg Thurston (Richard). He leaves behind a brother, Antonio, girlfriend Hailey, and many loving aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews and cousins.

There will be no service for Robert. Instead we kindly ask you to make a small donation in his name to any at-risk youth programs. Until we meet again Son, you'll forever be in our hearts.

Link to the original obituary

It's sad, but it happens. Sometimes a kid can be raised by total PNBs, but if they're determined to be fucking morons anyway, there's not much that can be done except letting them learn a lesson the hard way and hoping they live long enough to learn it. Other times, kids raised by total breeders can grow up into decent people because they have enough of a sense of awareness to not let crappy parenting turn them into crappy people too or they have people in their lives who serve as positive influences.

Something similar happened at my high school. There was a guy who came in to discuss the dangers of underage drinking and drinking while driving and he ended the presentation with a photo of his dead teenage son (who died after a drunken accident he caused) in a casket saying that that was the last memory of his son whose death was completely preventable. Sometimes a hard dose of reality will scare some kids straight, but a lot of them just shrug and go, "Ehh it won't happen to me" because they think they're special/invincible.

There are cases where a child will end up nothing but not by the fault of the child. Illness can derail any effort in making yourself into something.

When I just had autism to deal with, I was on my way to making something of myself. I graduated on the Principle's List with a 4.5 GPA, the only person to walk the graduation from the disabled section among the elite of the high school behind the valedictorian.

Shortly after highschool schizophrenia showed up along with bi-polar disorder. Three boulders on the shoulder were too much to manage. Then, when my physical health declined, forget it. Thankfully, I am on SSD on my father's account as after he died, he had a disabled daughter (me) who was unmarried.

Thankfully, I had the sense not to add to burdens by breeding brats and now live in specialized housing for those with physical and mental issues.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

crafty I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

My best friend had a cousin who was fairly normal until she was a teenager. Then she got bacterial meningitis. She survived, but barely. Her family swears it changed her brain completely and she started drinking, drugging with anything she could get her hands on, and fucking everything that moved. She shat out kids that became wards of the state and she was not speaking to her family (they had to let her go) when she was eventually murdered by a pimp. It was all so sad. Her family is full of good and caring people.

That's the thing with kids--you never know what you are going to get. Glad I passed on that one.

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bell_flower

That's the thing with kids--you never know what you are going to get. Glad I passed on that one.

That is so true, although in my case I would have passed on my bipolar, schizophrenia, and possibly autism too. I also have 1/4 Indian in me which is a guarantee of diabetes. I also have high blood pressure and I know that migraines are the gift that keeps giving through the family line.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

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craftyzits
There are cases where a child will end up nothing but not by the fault of the child.

And sometimes people make fucking terrible choices.

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craftyzits
I also have 1/4 Indian in me which is a guarantee of diabetes.

"Guarantee" is inaccurate. And since the rate is partially dependent on socioeconomic factors, it sounds like the percentage will be even lower unless you actually live on a rez or in similar conditions. (I have native blood, too, so yeah, this topic interests me.) Here's a link to actual information, if you're interested:

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kittehpeoples

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craftyzits
There are cases where a child will end up nothing but not by the fault of the child.

And sometimes people make fucking terrible choices.

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craftyzits
I also have 1/4 Indian in me which is a guarantee of diabetes.

"Guarantee" is inaccurate. And since the rate is partially dependent on socioeconomic factors, it sounds like the percentage will be even lower unless you actually live on a rez or in similar conditions. (I have native blood, too, so yeah, this topic interests me.) Here's a link to actual information, if you're interested:

My socioeconomic situation has never been good, and I was food insecure throughout my teen years because my parents were both victims of Reganomics. There were several instances where the family was technically homeless, living with friends of friends of friends of my parents as the rent was way out of reach. One stretch saw me living in a blue converted school bus in a parental friend's back yard.

I spent most of my adult years surviving on SSI, or $700 a month so that wasn't great either. It was only recently that I got on SSD under my father's account. However, the damage had been done to my body.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!