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Psych Today article about CFness and claims of regret

Posted by kittehpeoples 
Psych Today article about CFness and claims of regret
March 15, 2020
No Kids? 7 Things We Get Wrong about Regret

I thought this was particularly interesting:

Quote

In her review of the research, Chrastil found that the women who describe themselves as involuntarily childless were more likely to express regret than those who said that they had chosen not to have kids. But that only happened when they were asked specifically about their regrets about not having kids.

“…when women are asked more generally about their regrets, without specific mention of children, there are no differences in the total number of regrets between mothers, voluntarily childless, and involuntarily childless women. Even among the involuntarily childless, women asked about their general regrets in life are not likely to spontaneously mention their regret for not having children.”
Re: Psych Today article about CFness and claims of regret
March 15, 2020
That strongly suggests that encouraging infertile people to moan about their fate gets in the way of them getting on with their lives.

I liked this bit:

Quote

“The assumption that childless women should go through a period of anguish over the decision is a “feeling rule” that enforces the notion that childlessness is universally undesirable and that motherhood is so natural as to lie beyond the realm of critical thought.”
Re: Psych Today article about CFness and claims of regret
March 19, 2020
Not surprised that CL people feel more regret. They had the choice taken from them. People don't like not having control over stuff.

But yeah, it does sound like letting them wallow does make the whole "motherhood for everyone" pressure even more noticeable. They aren't able to move on and wrap their heads around what their life can actually be without kids.
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