Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices

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bell_flower
It sounds like the marriage is over anyway.

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Will probably go into detail about this some other time (no solutions wanted rn) but I’m currently 13 weeks and just experiencing so much dread and anxiety of the thought of how things will be after I come home from the hospital. I already have a 21 month old who is a handful and I literally just got yelled at for not putting the pillowcases on because SO “specifically texted and asked me to” yesterday and he had to put them on himself before a nap. God forbid he had to do it himself. Just like I asked him earlier in the week to take care of the chemical cleaning aspect of my bathroom since I’m not supposed to be doing that especially since there’s no windows to ventilate. Guess who did it anyways yesterday without a complaint? I was also excited to go back to school online next week but now I know that while I’m busy taking 15 credits and stressing out about getting my work done with a hyperactive toddler around, I will probably get reamed out at the end of the day for some little thing I didn’t do. Yay.

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THE BANE OF MY FUCKING EXISTENCE

my four year old daughter with sensory processing disorder on the spectrum WILL NOT FUCKING PUSH HER POOPS OUT AND I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO DO FOR HER ANYMORE

For years it was watching her cry every freaking time she had to poop. Trying so hard to find the right combination that would make her tummy happy. Now it’s Miralax everyday, no milk, no gluten, watch out for processed foods and food coloring, make sure she poops everyday and go into high fucking gear if she doesn’t with prune juice and blueberries and suppositories. Among other ideas. And constantly worry about taking another trip to the ER if we can’t get it under control ourselves

There’s her whole life in a nutshell and I’m so tired of it. But now she’s old enough to communicate that she doesn’t want to poop, she is going to poop another day, confirming that she withholds her poops out of fear of the feeling and fear of pain. I don’t know how to get over this or through this. She is still not potty trained and at this point I don’t know when the fuck that will ever change.

Today she is having stomach aches from me missing a day of miralax. Yes I’ve fucked up and now I’m beating myself up and her behavior is wild because she doesn’t feel good. I should be so much more patient and sympathetic and I’m at the point where I’m snapping. Please send me patient vibes. I need to do better.

So today, we have to get through this, but in the meantime I’m in a goddamn depression about it. Movies aren’t keeping her focus, activities aren’t keeping her focus, we are just pinballing around and whining about snacks (cuz her tummy feels off so she snacks when this happens) every two minutes. Goddexx gimme strength. Thanks for reading my rant - If anyone’s dealt with this plz send some love and advice my way. this sensory shit is a lot sometimes.

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Hey I was raised to know that if you start to get looser all you have to do is kegels. After my 4 boys including twins all vag births where born I was doing 100 a day. When I met my husband he thought I was a virgin based on how tight it was. He got bruises from me orgasming. He asked me to stop the kegels because "it hurt him when I came". Not trying to make less of how you are feeling. You are completely justified in your feelings. I just wanted you to know that if you are afraid your not so tight down there you can fix that. It is just a muscle, like any other muscle if you exercise it you gain strength.

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So I decided to take my 4 year old autistic (lower functioning) son to a lake near our home. There are generally people there but we socially distance so it's fine.

He was playing along the shore when he spotted 2 boys tossing a football in the water. He was interested but still just running sand through his fingers.

A little later he decided to walk. He apparently spotted the boys football unattended. He walked up to it and picked it up. I took it away and told him that it wasn't his so he couldn't play with it. He immediately melted down.

The football kids mom asked me what the problem was as I was trying to get my son calm and walk to the car. I explained that he was autistic and didn't understand about the ball. She immediately told me that I shouldn't have him out in public if he was going to act like a freak. I told her again that he was not a freak and had a disability. She threatened to "fuck me up" and I should get my "little bitch ass retarded fucking brat" away from normal ass people.

At this point I got to my car and left. My son was still upset. The priority was him.

I got a mile down the road, snack given, son calm and happy, and broke. I cried like a baby. All while singing the fucking ABC song. I have never had to deal with that. I wanted to beat that bitch senseless. I'm a full grown woman and I wanted to fuck her face up.

Seriously how can you treat a child like that?!

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It was a long time coming, but our 6 year old exclaiming "when are you two gonna get a divorce already?" a few weeks ago really made us realise that no matter how much couple's counselling, sex, and hope we throw at it, our relationship isn't fixable and it's not worth just keeping it together for the kids, because it's just not good for them to see their parents argue all the time. It's been very freeing to both of us, and we're very amicable now.

In all the chaos of him moving out and our oldest returning to school amid ever-changing covid restrictions I failed to notice that my period was late until today. Took a test and had to call him just hours after he'd moved his last boxes into his brother's place to come right back over so I could tell him the news! We're both excited but very nervous to be coparenting a baby along with our 4 and 6 year olds. I'm having my first scan in a few days and after that we'll probably tell our kids about it. Wish us luck!

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Cambion

I laughed. Not everyone finds your differently abled ADD/ADHD/ODD tard endearing, asshole. Also, WHY is she taking a low-functioning awtard to a fucking LAKE? It's common knowledge that tards and awtards are fatally attracted to bodies of water.

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So, after my daughter went to bed I decided to research why I was reminiscing about my surgery last week. I was bothered by these thoughts and feelings of wanting to be back in the hospital, then back in bed where I was too hurt and swollen to move. I felt so guilty for taking my health for granted.

But then google revealed that it’s actually a pretty common thing. It’s not that I actually want to be sick or hurt, I just want to be cared for. And oh yeah, a break.

On my surgery day I didn’t have to think about dinner, grocery shop, cook and clean dinner (and every other meal), do all chores, laundry, fix things in the house, get mail (open and read it), pay the bills, read about child development, take out the trash, sweep, mop, vacuum, work, parent, play with toddler, clean up toddler messes, etc etc etc. You know, all the shit a lot of us feel alone in doing.

I got about 4 days of rest post op. Supposed to be a week at least but I can’t stand a filthy house and only eating toast. I’m just feeling extra overwhelmed after the first real break I’ve had in 20 months. I had to pay for it and be really sore, but fuck it was so nice. Fuck the mental load. Fuck this house and his video games. Fuck it all. But there is a silver lining; any extra fat from my daughter was sucked out and put into my face. Along with fixing my exhausted heavy eyes and long mid face. Swollen as fuck but so worth it.

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These words actually left my own mothers mouth during a video call this afternoon.

Is she for real?

I told her that my son (10 months old) got a fever so he’s been comfort nursing a lot.

She actually gasped because she didn’t know I was still breastfeeding my son, so I replied with why wouldn’t I breastfeed him until he’s ready to wean himself.

The look of disgust. I told her, some babies are still nursing at 1, 3 or even older. She said ‘That’s just disgusting, you’re basically molesting the child at that point.’

What the actual fuck? Are people really this uneducated about breastfeeding?! I’m dumbfounded!

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This sub is for regretful parents, not grateful CFs.

'Im cF aNd tHiS suB hAs rEAlLy hELpeD sOlidIFy mY dEcIsIoN thAnKs gUyS'

Yes, I'm a bit salty. But honestly I thought this sub would be a safe place for regretful parents to help eachother out and share experiences.

While there is a great deal of that there is also a far too many CF individuals using it as a confirmation mechanism of their choices. Now being CF doesn't exclude you from participating if you have something of value to add, hell go ahead and read our stories if you really want extra confirmation for yourself, but believe me the last thing regretful parents want is to be thanked by CF people for confirming their choices as they skip away on their 3rd holiday of the year! It's not the purpose of this sub and you're doing the opposite of helping!

Sorry for the rant, visited the sub during another 2am screaming wake up and it honestly just made me feel mostly even worse lol.

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Parenting is not what I thought it would be.

I have three children. The oldest is 19, the youngest is 9 (the middle is 11). I was a teen mom. I have been doing this for about twenty years and I just don’t like it. At all.

I love my children. They are bright and articulate and fascinatingly different one from the other. We are relatively well off, and I work really hard to provide them with everything they need, including love, care, and affection. I just DON’T love being their mother.

I thought it would get better after they reached kindergarten. I thought it would be better when I was older and more mature when I had the latter two, and they were close in age instead of my older singleton. But it wasn’t. It was worse.

I thought parenting was about showing your children how amazing the world is (and I do believe that it is amazing!) and sharing that wonder with them, and raising them to be Independent, whole people who change the world for the better - even on some small level. But it isn’t about any of that at all.

It is constantly heartbreaking .And endless and thankless and joyless and boring.

Good god, how boring!

My husband is an amazing partner and an awesome dad and he really seems to love it, and I am so happy and grateful for him. But I am also confused and disappointed and frustrated and sad and profoundly, profoundly guilty because I *hate* this job - and my family (all of them!) deserves someone who loves it.

I wish I **got** it.
Only nine more years.

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I have had it up to HERE with cooking for these motherfuckers

And planning the meals.

And scheduling the meals around my work meetings.

And shopping for the meals.

And putting away all of the ingredients for the meals.

And watching my kids sullenly eat the meals—one nanoparticle at a time—because they’re (sigh) “just OK.”

Or watching my kids refuse to eat the meals at all and getting a goddamn GoGurt instead—one with an entirely-too-happy unicorn on the front, approximately 6,000 grams of sugar inside, and some fake-ass sounding flavor like “berry moonbeam” or whatever the fuck.

And then hearing them whine that they’re hungry in half an hour. Well, no fucking shit.

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I have two girls age 3 and 1. Since they got up this morning the have been constantly fighting, screaming and crying. Nothing I tried to get them to calm down worked.

After 7 hours, I broke down and started ugly crying. Everything stopped for a moment and my eldest comes up to me and says "Why are you crying mummy?". I tell her I'm upset because I need them to behave and be nice to each other.

They have both only just started saying "Love you mummy" and both of them come up to me, give me kisses, say sorry and love you mummy followed by cuddles. My heart literally melted.

However this happened a further two times after which I developed a migraine and IBS flare up due to the stress. Each followed up by apologies, cuddles and love yous.

Lesson learned - my kids are currently little shits but hearing them say I love you mummy and saying don't cry mummy while wiping away tears makes them my adorable little shits.

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Look. This doggone child was a nightmare to breastfeed, and we probably didn't regularly breastfeed past 4 weeks. She's 3 now.

I'm anti-bra unless I feel like being fancy without lopsided tits. They just aggravate me so much since getting pregnant, and I was sick of dealing with it.

Once in awhile I'd feel LO feeling me up, and I'd just push her hand down, and it's been no big deal.

I don't know if it's like a primal comfort thing for her or what, but every time she's being carried around, she'll play with my fucking nipples through my shirt.

I've tried really hard not to say anything about it. I just push her hand gently away because it'd definitely become 'a thing' if she knew it bothered me. (Plus, it seems unconscious. She does it while talking or looking at something else) She's been generally boob curious, so I'm hoping it will pass, but UGH!

STOP TOUCHING ME!