Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 19, 2021 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,828 |
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Husband and 5yo were picking up the kitchen after he got home from work. Dh asks kid if she knows the difference between moms and dads. She says, "moms don't do anything all day, and dads work and do stuff."
My heart broke. I'm a sahm, and I know I'm crap at it. I let the kitchen get messy. But we always have clean clothes, a not totally destroyed house. I read to her every day, play with her, feed her. And she thinks I do nothing.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 19, 2021 | Registered: 3 years ago Posts: 201 |
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Cambion
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My heart broke. I'm a sahm, and I know I'm crap at it. I let the kitchen get messy. But we always have clean clothes, a not totally destroyed house. I read to her every day, play with her, feed her. And she thinks I do nothing.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 19, 2021 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 3,641 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 20, 2021 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,828 |
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freya
Some of their situations are 100% caused by their bad habits. If they don't set boundaries and establish themselves as the adult then they are going to live in pandemonium. And it doesn't matter how much they clean, do laundry, etc. if it is constantly being messed up because their five year old has been taught that is perfectly acceptable. It is going to look like they do nothing.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 22, 2021 | Registered: 14 years ago Posts: 3,786 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 22, 2021 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,073 |
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If she's writing, she sure as hell does NOT understand punctuation in this respect. PARAGRAPHS YOU BIMBO..
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I don’t know anymore. We’re expats in a foreign country. I don’t have money or any family to go to.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 22, 2021 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,828 |
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Said to me by my 3yo with her hands on her hips last night when I told her she needed to go potty before bed.
I was so proud of her for standing up for herself, so proud of myself for teaching her consent and confidence....and trying not to laugh while at a loss for what to say next.
We worked it out and she was able to still go potty before bed and maintain her bodily autonomy lol.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 22, 2021 | Registered: 14 years ago Posts: 3,786 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 22, 2021 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,498 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 22, 2021 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 3,641 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 22, 2021 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,828 |
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freya
Lazy duhs will do ANYTHING to avoid parunting or house chores, even to the point of gaslighting. Most of the men on breakingmom exhibit this common characteristic. It is practically normalized there it is so common. These moos would probably be much better off finding a parenting board where parents respect their spouses and have appropriate boundaries in their families. They could then compare themselves to a healthy dynamic. I don't know if such a place exists.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 23, 2021 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,828 |
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Whenever I see a parent complain about the hardships of parenthood around a non-parent this inevitably comes up. You chose this. You don’t get to complain. What? First of all, I would say that most people are completely unaware of what parenthood is like before they have kids. There’s not a great way to understand just how tough it is until you’re in it. And there’s not always a great way to know if you’re suited for this lifestyle or not.
I love my children more than anything. And as they grow older it only gets better. But this is the single hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I am sleep deprived. My self-care has vanished. I have to choose between eating, sleeping or doing the dishes. I am allowed to complain. I am allowed to vent. I am not “gate-keeping” being tired when I tell a child free person the “tired” that new moms experience is just different.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 24, 2021 | Registered: 3 years ago Posts: 201 |
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Cambion
https://old.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/mau8k3/mama_i_said_no_and_you_need_to_respect_my_no/Quote
Said to me by my 3yo with her hands on her hips last night when I told her she needed to go potty before bed.
I was so proud of her for standing up for herself, so proud of myself for teaching her consent and confidence....and trying not to laugh while at a loss for what to say next.
We worked it out and she was able to still go potty before bed and maintain her bodily autonomy lol.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 24, 2021 | Registered: 3 years ago Posts: 201 |
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So I’m 10 weeks pregnant with my 2nd. First is 6.5 years old. I have my first ultrasound tomorrow and I’m just a ball of nerves. Plus we can’t find anyone to take the kid so my husband can’t come with me.
And today while taking my kid out for a walk/ride a woman who let my kid pass and they said hi, asked me if I was my kids grandma.
Like, I’m 43, but I have no grey hair, I had on sunglasses so there was no visible eye wrinkles but apparently to her I looked like a grandma.
And this wasn’t a 20 yo who thinks everyone is ancient this woman was at minimum 10 years older than me, probably 15.
I just- today was not the day to hear this. I told my best friend and Her response was “oh brutal” not “you don’t look like a grandma” (like wtf even if I DO, lie to me already)
Anyway I’m a disaster who looks like a grandma that’s my life now.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 24, 2021 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,828 |
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toraneko
This has been bugging me because it sounds so implausible. I mean, is a three year old capable of understanding these words and forming them into a sentence? Or understanding consent and "bodily autonomy"? Sounds like moomy made up this bullshit after the kid became defiant.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 24, 2021 | Registered: 3 years ago Posts: 201 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 26, 2021 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,828 |
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Had a baby last July and took 16 weeks off before going back to work. Asked husband if he wanted to take his leave after me (were in WA so they have paid family leave now) and he said no, find them a daycare blah blah blah.
So I did and it’s been fine I guess. He had to take Tuesday off to watch the toddler and baby because daycare was closed. I got home and the house was a disaster, he was playing on his phone, baby had a diaper rash, and there was no plans for dinner. Okay, I know how hard it is some days. But he’s never once come home to me sitting on my phone playing while the kids destroy the house around me.
This morning he asked if I would submit his paperwork so he can take the family leave of 12 weeks pay at 90% which is what the state offers. .. “oh? Are we going to pull the girls from daycare while you do that then, so you can watch them?”
No. He wants 12 weeks of paternity leave to sit at the house and do nothing with no kids. Ummmm no. That’s not how it works. Was my 16 weeks full of joy and relaxation? No. I’m so annoyed with him and don’t even know what to say.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 26, 2021 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 2,323 |
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Cambion
it's not unheard of for a woman in her 40s to be a grandmother. I'm guessing she won't take the hint that while she may not be old in general, she's too old to be reproducing again.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 26, 2021 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 3,641 |
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Cambion
Moo is getting all huffy because Duh said he wants her to submit an application to his employer for him for 12 weeks of paternity leave, but also doesn't want to pull the crotchfruits out of daycare. He wants a 12-week vacation with minimal child contact.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 26, 2021 | Registered: 3 years ago Posts: 201 |
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Background: in literally every single story about how hard motherhood is, the author has to bend over backwards to say how much she loves her kids, how she'd do ANYTHING to protect them if they were in danger. And honestly, every time it feels like overkill.
I don't know what that deep, burning love feels like. I didn't feel it when he was born, and I don't feel it now. I like my kid a lot. I would even say I love him. I want him to feel cocooned by the love of our family.
But I don't know if it's just my particular neurobiology, or if I'm just very slow to reach motherhood levels of love. Or maybe it's that the three years since my son was born have been excruciatingly hard, so I've been traumatized by the circumstances of my life. I don't know. I feel very alone in this state of something less than intense, all-consuming maternal love.
I feel that my love for my kid is expressed in the ways I keep showing up for him and keep trying to make his life fun, adventurous, and nurtured. I have wanted to give up a thousand times. But I haven't because my love is an obligation to him, to be present and active in his life.
Can anyone else relate? I don't know. I'm not even saying that I'm unhappy. Just that it feels like something is lacking when I compare my insides to what other people say :-/
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 26, 2021 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,073 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 26, 2021 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,828 |
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bell_flower
For me, something with that level of obligation would not foster a love relationship. It's a chore and I would resent it. Of course you are not going to love a chyld the same way you love another adult. Duh! For one thing, you are loving something that is half-witted (if you are lucky) and isn't even a grown up person.
And once you reach the part where the kid has its own personality, it's quite possible you may not even like each other, if you are being honest about it.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 26, 2021 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,828 |
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Can someone please help me put into words why my husband is in the wrong because I’m so mad and he’s so nonchalant about it.
Told him this morning after being woken up to him cussing and tearing the house apart looking for his masks that it was no ones fault but his own (he tried to say everyone always wears them - I wore one 2 weeks ago and put in on the dresser where I found it) because he doesn’t pick up after himself.
Irritated and half Asleep I told him that he never helped with anything, couldn’t stop The baby from crying while I cleaned, and never did any actual cleaning himself. Decided it was a good time to tell him that him taking paternity leave while leaving the girls in daycare was the stupidest idea.
He texted me later and said if I wanted to fight then he would no longer be picking up the girls from daycare. I asked him if he said that because he had somehow deduced that they weren’t his responsibility? No answer.
He gets off at 3 and picks them up at 4. I get off at 530 and wouldn’t be able to pick them up until 6, so he picks them up. I got home at 6 and there were no kids??
The daycare is okay with it if I let her know we’ll be late, but she started taking night classes that start at 5:30 so this was a real shitty thing to do to her.
I got the girls, headed home now. And I don’t even know what to say to him because he thinks it’s a perfectly reasonable thing to say he won’t take care of his children if I want to fight??? How do I even argue with him when he just thinks he’s 100% in the right and didn’t do anything wrong?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 27, 2021 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 2,323 |
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bell_flower
Methinks the concept of Maternal Luv has a lot of room for bullshit.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices March 27, 2021 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 1,954 |