Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices

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“I’m pretty sick to my stomach. My 45yo daughter lives in another state and has always had no financial literacy. In 2021 she was living in a pretty run down rental w/ my teen grandkids so we worked on her credit and I added her as an authorized user to my credit cards to boost her score over 100 points, and in 2022 she was able to buy a modest 3br home for 160k at 3.75% for 30 years on her own (I did not co-sign). I bought her a new fridge, new beds for her and the kids, and gave her about 3k towards closet costs. Over the last 2 years I would see her and her boyfriend buy things like a 2k shed for the backyard, a 3k backyard jumbotron projector to host football parties, an above ground pool, and bought a husky from a breeder, so I thought maybe she was doing better financially.

A month ago she called me asking for a loan saying she was behind on her bills. I let her know my work hours have been cut and I’m getting ready for retirement so I really did not have any money to loan her and she could call her bill companies and work out a payment plan with them. The next day I remembered I still had her login and password to her Experian account. So I logged in to check it, and it looks like she consistently fell behind on her mortgage (4-6 mos) and kept refinancing it and refinancing it. So now she owes 162k on her mortgage at an interest rate of 13% for 40 years! Her payment after mortgage and property tax used to be 1310 and now it is over 2400.

There is no way she is going to be able to afford this. It looks like she was just going out and buying a bunch of stuff instead of paying her mortgage. Then kept refinancing once she fell behind. Her credit is ruined again because she went out and took out a bunch of credit cards when she had decent credit and never paid them. She’s not an idiot, she’s worked for a large bank in the loan department for the past 10 years. But she definitely does not make enough money to cover this mortgage and it’s only a matter of time before she loses this house.

I have consistently helped her and helped her only for her to turn around and ruin things like this. I don’t know what I was thinking, thinking she was different this time . One of my grandkids still lives with her, but is over 18 and working. But now I’m just done. I have to be done. I’m too old. I thought about just buying the house from her and having her pay me rent, but I can’t depend on her doing that. I have a feeling she is going to call my mother who is in her 80s and ask her for money. But it’s not worth it, only $10 a month goes towards the principal of the house. It’s not worth trying to save it at this point. She needs to sell it and walk away with what equity she can, which she will probably also blow on dumb stuff. But I don’t know how to bring it up with her and tell her that I looked at her Experian credit report without her permission. Or should I just let her suffer her consequences?”

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Misused my child's ssi backpay
My son receives SSI and i now have a letter asking to report what we used the backpay on. I put the money in my husband's account and we used it for the mortgage. As we were facing a foreclosure that month, But i did not it approved beforehand. What should i do?

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twocents
hey mum, there are a few podcasters out there.. which one??

the one's I know off the bat are misery machine, suffer the little children, AFK (I think, I don't recall the letters exactly). but they all have little sympathy for the perpetrators.

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AITA for Breaking My Husband’s Golf Clubs after He Left Me Alone with Our Newborn Twins?
I (28F) recently gave birth to our twin babies—a boy, Oliver, and a girl, Lily. They’re almost 9 weeks old now, and while I’m overjoyed to be a mom, I’ve never felt more physically and emotionally drained in my life. I suffered from postpartum hemorrhage right after delivery and lost so much blood that I had to be rushed into emergency surgery. I nearly died. I was in the hospital for almost two weeks recovering. The physical recovery has been brutal, but the emotional toll is even worse and I feel like I’m drowning every single day.

My husband, Matt (32M), was helpful while I was recovering in the hospital, but once we got home, he checked out. He works a 9 to 5 job, but instead of helping when he’s home, he escapes to his "man cave" to play video games or go out with friends. I’m left alone to care for the twins, and the exhaustion has become unbearable. I’ve been having terrible complications from the hemorrhage—constant pain, weakness, and intense anxiety. I still can’t walk properly without getting dizzy, and breastfeeding has been a nightmare. Lily struggles to latch, which leads to bleeding nipples, and every feeding session feels like torture.

I’ve tried to ask Matt for help, but every time I do, he brushes me off. His go-to excuse is that I’m on maternity leave and "this is what moms do." He says he needs to "decompress" after work and that I should be grateful he’s working to provide for us. Meanwhile, I’m lucky if I get 30 minutes of sleep in between feedings, and I’m running on pure adrenaline at this point.

Last week, after another exhausting day with no help, I tried to talk to him about how I felt like I was drowning. His response? He asked when we were going to start having sex again. He said, "It’s been two months, and I’m getting frustrated."

I was speechless. My body hasn’t even fully healed from the traumatic birth, and he was acting like I was depriving him. When I tried to explain how much pain I was still in, both physically and emotionally, he rolled his eyes and said, “Other women bounce back after having babies. It’s not that hard. You’ve gotta stop using it as an excuse.”

I felt so ashamed in that moment. Like I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t recovering fast enough, wasn’t being enough for him. It’s not like I didn’t want to be intimate with him again—I missed the closeness we used to have—but I was still bleeding occasionally, and I could barely walk without wincing. My whole body felt like it was failing me, and instead of being patient or supportive, Matt acted like I was deliberately withholding sex from him.

He even tried to initiate once when I was barely five weeks postpartum, and I had to practically beg him to stop because it was too painful. He got frustrated, said, "Come on, it’s been long enough," and huffed off like a teenager. Every time I tried to talk to him about how overwhelming things were, he’d steer the conversation back to when we’d be having sex again, like that was the only thing on his mind.

This Saturday was my breaking point. The babies had been fussy all night, and I hadn’t slept more than an hour in 48 hours. I was completely exhausted, and with my anemia still making me weak, I could barely stand, the incision from my surgery was throbbing with pain. Matt had left early that morning for a full day of golf with his buddies, despite knowing how rough my night had been. He said he'd be back by noon, but noon came and went, and he was still out. He was golfing at a course that was only an hour away, so I figured if things got too bad, he’d come home.

Around 4 PM, I was trying to feed Oliver while Lily was crying. My hands were shaking from sheer exhaustion, and in that moment, I almost dropped Oliver. I caught him just in time, but it scared me so badly that I collapsed on the floor in tears. I texted Matt, begging him to come home, telling him I was scared and overwhelmed. His response? “Just put them in their cribs and rest. I’ll be home later.”

“Later” turned into 9 PM, by which time I was a complete mess. I had been alone with the twins all day, with no help, no food, and no sleep. When Matt finally walked through the door, he didn’t seem to care at all. He saw me sitting on the floor with the twins still crying and giggled. Yes, giggled. He looked down at me, smiling like it was all some kind of joke, and said, “You’re being overdramatic. You should’ve just handled it.”

I saw red. His smug, dismissive little giggle was the final straw. In a blind rage, I grabbed his beloved golf clubs—the ones he’s obsessed with—and smashed them against the floor. I broke two of them before Matt even realized what was happening. He started screaming at me, calling me "crazy" and "psycho" for breaking something "so expensive" and accusing me of "losing it."

After that, he stormed out of the house and spent the night at a friend’s place. His best friend has since been texting me, calling me a "psycho" and saying I’m "unhinged" for destroying his clubs. He told me I owe Matt a huge apology for "overreacting" and that he’s been "trying his best."

But has he? I’m here, day after day, struggling to keep it together with two newborns while still recovering from a traumatic birth. I’ve been so weak that I’ve nearly dropped my baby, and Matt hasn’t been around to help. He works during the week, and I understand that, but every weekend he’s out golfing or with his buddies. And whenever he comes back from work he is either watching sports or playing online games. I haven’t had more than two hours of sleep at a time in weeks. I feel like I’m drowning.

I’m starting to feel like maybe I did overreact, but at the same time, I’m so angry that he doesn’t seem to care about how hard things have been for me.

AITA for breaking his golf clubs?

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Cambion
Educated does not mean intelligent, sadly. She says it's difficult to have a child outside marriage, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's impossible to have one, from the sound of it.

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I’m 29. Married with four children who I absolutely adore. My husband and I have been married 9 years and he struggles with mental health issues.

I am in miserable, absolutely miserable in marriage. My husband is the provider so he doesn’t believe it’s His job to help at home. I’m one month postpartum and exhausted. He tells me my life is easy and I am almost 30 with nothing to show for it. When I express that I am feeling unloved, worn out and completely drained, he tells me to leave then, he could find someone else. He said I can’t complain bc I wanted to be a mom. This is just a peak into things he has said.

My question is, does it get better? Did you stay for the kids and the relationship improve? Did it improve once the kids were older and things were a little less stressful??

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For some background, I got a molar pulled 1 day prior to this, and I’m in a lot of pain because my dentist said “lol just use Tylenol”.

My 6 year old son came home from school and demanded I play geometry dash with him on the computer. I let him know that I’m really hurting and don’t want to play right now. He continues to escalate and scream-beg, and I ask him to please stop yelling, I don’t want to play right now, and maybe later? He decided this isn’t good enough and goes away. I hear him say “then you deserve this”, and he hits the TV with a broomstick and pours a glass of water into my computer tower, breaking both.

This is what I get for doing nice things for kiddo, I guess. I set the computer up so they can play games and learn to use it, it ends up broken. I can’t afford to replace either right now.

He’s demanding I go buy a new TV right now because this one now has a big crack and rainbow lines down it. Obviously I can’t do that, but what would you all do? Besides cry internally?

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mumofsixbirds
I think a lot of women become SAHMs thinking it's the easy way out of life, but then they find out that it's not.

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So, I (21F) am currently 7 months pregnant with our first baby, and my husband (32M) has been super supportive throughout the pregnancy. He’s attended every appointment, helps out around the house more, and I really appreciate him for that. HOWEVER, a few days ago, he dropped this insane idea on me, and I’m still reeling.

He says he wants to go on a “dad-cation” after the baby is born… basically a vacation for just him. He wants to go somewhere with his friends to “unwind” after the stress of pregnancy and getting ready for the baby. He actually had the audacity to tell me that since I’ll get time off for maternity leave, he should get time off too, “just to relax.”

I was honestly shocked. I told him that he’s not the one pushing out a baby, and I’m the one who’ll be physically recovering, breastfeeding, and doing the bulk of the baby care in those early weeks. He just brushed it off, saying he’d help when he got back, but “a few days away” wouldn’t hurt. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

I straight up told him that this “dad-cation” idea was completely selfish and unrealistic. He’s a grown man and should understand that the baby will need both of us, especially in those first few weeks. He got defensive and said I was “overreacting” and that he deserves a break too since he’s been “so supportive” during my pregnancy.

Now he’s sulking and barely talking to me, saying I don’t appreciate him or the sacrifices he’s made for me during this time. I feel like I’m losing my mind here. I’ve been dealing with all the physical and emotional ups and downs of pregnancy, and he’s acting like HE needs a reward for it?? Am I missing something? I’m starting to feel guilty because he has been great, but asking for a vacation right after our baby is born just feels so wrong.

So, AITA for telling him he’s being selfish and that a "dad-cation" is not happening?