Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 14, 2024 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,787 |
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bell_flower
Here's another one. Do the math--this woman is 34 and had her first kid at age 16. She is now married to a guy and cranked out THREE KIDS with him. (All girls.) It appears 3/4 kids are on the spectrum. (Of course they are, but I do wonder why she has to "get a plate" for the 18 year old kid. Is the kid too dumb to get her own food?)
The mom is asking if she's TAH because her husband copped an attitude with her when he didn't like her "tone" when they trucked the kids to attend a fambilee function. (A wedding, naturally. eyes)
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 15, 2024 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,136 |
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AITA for removing my pregnant wife's hands from my plate and telling her to stop fucking grabbing food off my plate while I'm eating when she has her own plate in front of her?
My wife is seven months pregnant and I understand that being pregnant is not easy. You are growing a whole human being inside you and naturally you are going to have to eat more but my wife won't stop eating my food. At first I let it slide because I was trying to be understanding but it just didn't stop.
Most times after coming back from work and looking forward to eating my only meal of the day, she will casually start eating off my plate while I'm eating. This is after she has eaten her own meal earlier. When we eat at the same time, she basically will do a back and forth between our plates.
Last night was the final straw, I had a long day at work and was very hungry. When we started eating she reached for my plate to grab something before even touching her food first and I pushed her hands away and told her to stop eating my fucking food and that I'm really tired of not being able to eat my food in peace while she gets to.
She started crying and told me that I could try and understand that it's because she is pregnant that she gets really hungry and can't help it instead of being an ass about it.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 15, 2024 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 312 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 15, 2024 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,963 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 20, 2024 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,265 |
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These past months I've been having problems with my family and its gotten so bad I had to step away from it because too much was happening. I honestly felt stuck in one place while no one was really there to help me, I'm very stressed. Op(32F), spouse(35M)
I've been in my step kids life since they were 6 and now their both pre teens, in that stage of parenting it gets overwhelming for me. I'm the only mother figure they know, they call me mom, if they need anything they come straight to me. Now I'm having my first child so a new addition, I'm happy I could have a child of my own, my stepkids are still my kids and first.
My step kids began to act out and I will say this was the second week of school where they would get smart with me, I was told that my baby wouldn't make it, said my stepson. I understand he's in the teen stage but it hurt when he said that my baby wouldn't make it. When their friends were over they would change their entire personality to impress them, while they impressed their friends they disrespected me. I was hurt because I had known them for years and hearing them say hurtful things to me hurt, on top of that my husband didn't seem to help, he would check them but his words didn't matter to them.
The kids have chores around the house, and the only thing I wanted them to do was do their laundry and take out the trash, in their mind I was making them be “ slaves” they said. They told me I should be doing the work and not them because their just kids, this new attitude was shocking, I asked them about it because they didn't care, and they would ignore me or go to their room. They stole money out of my purse to go to the store with their friends, they broke my mother's vase and I didn't know until days later.
Recently my step daughter got into a fight at school, mind you this is a new school, the fight happened because a girl was looking at her funny! I don't think fighting for a dumb reason is okay, my step daughter then hit the girl because of it and when she got home I lectured her about why she was wrong. She then went on and told me I couldn't tell her anything because I was not her mom, to be honest, I'm that moment I couldn't say anything, I let her have it. It's just that everyone does not care, I had to go to the doctor because my blood pressure was high and I was told it could harm the baby, my husband didn't even show interest in me, surely not my health.
After that situation I thought about it, she was right I wasn't her mom so I stopped doing everything around the house, I didn't cook, or help with work, or anything. My doctor already told me my blood pressure was high so I knew I needed a break, my husband was no help and ignored anything the kids said and did, he told me I was doing too much and to leave them alone because I'm not the mom, and that's why I told him to discipline his kids or get a divorce. Aita?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 20, 2024 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,787 |
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These past months I've been having problems with my family and its gotten so bad I had to step away from it because too much was happening. I honestly felt stuck in one place while no one was really there to help me, I'm very stressed. Op(32F), spouse(35M)
I've been in my step kids life since they were 6 and now their both pre teens, in that stage of parenting it gets overwhelming for me. My doctor already told me my blood pressure was high so I knew I needed a break, my husband was no help and ignored anything the kids said and did, he told me I was doing too much and to leave them alone because I'm not the mom, and that's why I told him to discipline his kids or get a divorce. Aita?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 21, 2024 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,265 |
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I live in an area that has "ran out of funding" for childcare assistance. I do not have family or friends that are able to watch my 4 children (one year old twins, two year old, and four year old). My significant other is a disabled veteran, I opted out of disability to work, and now social services are telling me that they no longer provide assistance for affording childcare. I would have to make over $100/hour to afford just the costs of childcare, not including costs of living. I do not qualify for other financial assistance. They told me I can inquire salvation army and the like for clothing handouts and assistance with gifts for holidays. I am devastated that I've worked very hard to be self sufficient and I am now unable to pursue my career or directly afford to raise my children. I grew up in poverty and want my children to have a different experience. How can I provide for my children without having childcare?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 23, 2024 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,136 |
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No judgement here! I'm sorry you're going through this bromo!
My then stepdaughter 12 was similar about our baby when we were expecting. She pretended she was happy about it but she was NOT! She was actively trying to terminate my pregnancy via methods her father's extended family were telling her to do. (Trip me, cause me to slip, kick me in the stomach, poison me, cause a car accident etc etc)
When the bub was born, she became more blatant and would talk about baby death A LOT when her father wasn't present, which was terrifying me!!! Ended up leaving him because he didn't take the risk seriously (she was violent and abusive and i just couldn't take anymore, and he refused to support me, defending his little golden princess instead!) She's with her mother now, and 2 years later she STILL hates me and the baby (toddler now), but thankfully we don't have to see her!
Anyway, seeing as yours is your daughter the only solutions I can think of are therapy for her (because this is not normal for her or sustainable for you!) and your idea of her dad taking her at least on a regular schedule to give you some breaks.
Huge hugs and solidarity!!!
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 23, 2024 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,265 |
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This is starting to feel so ridiculous with my spouses “co parent” that she called CPS on my husband. They have a baby together, he has limited time right now due to a step up process and her resistance to allowing him more time amicably. Child is 10 months old. We have a baby on the way and 2 older children combined. There is food in the home, baby toys, play pen, baby food and formula. Baby is taken care of. We have a smaller house right now and will be moving eventually into a bigger home for space. But until then, this is where we are at.
CPS is for child abuse and neglect… none of that is going on. She did this to her older child’s father and although I don’t have all that information, she talks possessive over the baby, blames husband for a poopy diaper, blames him for anything really. The mediation they had recently even noticed something was off from her, local community members have even said the same thing. It’s not just us not liking her, she seems seriously mentally unstable and possessive. Wants him to really have no involvement with their child. My husband does not interact with her in their parenting app, keeps it simple to exactly what baby ate, diaper changes, naps.
We missed the cps lady yesterday but she left her card on the door. I know they have their process they have to follow but this is insane. He’s caring, he’s involved, he has full custody of his other child due to legit parenting concerns by the other parent. And idk. I guess I want to vent and ask any opinions on how to handle this? He has a lawyer and will be contacting them today to discuss this as well. We just feel this won’t be the last issue with her and we don’t want our other children subjected to this or at risk either. There’s food in the home for everyone, clean clothes. It’s a smaller space so some clutter but we’ve been working on it. I’m just at a loss for how someone can be so hellbent in this way.
Edit- thank you to everyone that was informative and sharing their experiences to this. I should know better being Reddit but those judging because my husband has a 10 month old has nothing to do with this. We are a team and have older children from previous relationships/situations and it’s worrisome when someone makes false claims and trying to do anything to cause conflict. They were equivalent to a one night stand type of situation before we met. My husband has been using a lawyer for his case of the 10 month old and has taken the initiatives to tackle this situation head on and also speaking with his attorney to know what to expect, if false calls persists how to handle it, but we are a team and there’s more than one child in the home, so regardless, anyone would be a bit off put into a situation like this, I would think. Everyone is cared for properly, no abuse, no neglect, food in the home, clean & new clothes for children. Again thank you to those being genuine in responding.
Edit 2- honestly guys, this post is about a cps situation, not my relationship. We are grown adults here who decided we wanted to grow our family and become one. We asked each other the hard questions, honest with one another about anything and everything. There are people who marry sooner than later and have great marriages, we know some! My husband is loving and caring, my family loves him. I appreciates a man that actually steps up and is involved in his children’s life. He’s had 2 other actual girlfriends prior to this situation and neither became pregnant. We live and we learn. It would be more of a red flag if he was dipping out on his newer baby. We both wanted the marriage and both wanted another baby together. Finally, a situation that we both can parent without the extreme issues that can come with co parenting. I do not care that Reddit has not approved of my marriage, LOL. Our family has, my husband and I are happy together. I have met his first child’s mother and are civil and kind to each other. His second has a history of calling cps on her first child’s father and when people in the community plus the mediator call out something is off with HER. Well Reddit only gets one small take on such a larger picture. THANK YOU to everyone who has been supportive, given legitimate advice and cast no judgement. Maybe in 5 years I’ll come back with an update on our happy home and big family and moved into our bigger house we are working towards Have a blessed day everyone and hope you have a wonderful day learn to be kinder and less judgmental, I guarantee none of y’all being negative are perfect human beings
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 24, 2024 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,265 |
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This has been a long standing debate between my husband and I. We have three kids (1,4,5) and a dog. I stay at home because our middle child is only in half day preschool and daycare for our youngest is outrageously expensive and my husband works he’s active duty military. We used to split chores around the house where I would take on the majority but he would do the dishes and make dinner for us and help with bath time for the kids and help get them in bed. Recently my husband has told me that since I stay at home that all of the cleaning and everything pertaining to the kids, even when he is home, is my responsibility because it’s my job and if I want help with anything I need to ask because he doesn’t know what needs to be done.
I’ve told him that he’s capable of seeing if things are dirty and picking things up or putting shoes away or feeding the dog or letter the dog outside or even something simple like getting the kids a snack or even bring dirty clothes down or just put them in the laundry basket. He will come home and sit down and literally barely move from his spot on the couch unless it’s to go to the bathroom or grab a snack for himself. Im constantly running around taking care of everyone and everything I don’t even get a day to sleep in on the weekends even if I ask it’s not guaranteed he will wake up with the kids. Is this typical? Am I the asshole for thinking this is ridiculous? I feel like I’m being treated like a nanny and a maid but every time I say that I’m made to feel like I’m being ungrateful and over dramatic because he will do things if I ask him to do them. I just don’t feel like I should have to ask my husband to help me take care of the kids we both made when he’s home and I don’t feel like I should have to ask him to pick things up when he sees a mess if I’m doing something else at the time. Typically how does the dynamic go when one parent stays at home and one works? Am I being an asshole with this and just need to get over myself and just live with always having to ask if I want his help with anything at all?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 25, 2024 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,787 |
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bell_flower
"I grew up in poverty and want my kids to have a different experience."
Well how about not having FOUR KIDS IN FOUR YEARS?
Bonus: her "significant other" is disabled. Further comments reveal that he's NOT the father of all these kids and the youngest kids are one year old twins.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 29, 2024 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,136 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 30, 2024 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,265 |
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I'm 19f. My bf is 37m. I understand that a lot of people view age gaps like this really negatively. This is a healthy relationship and we love each other though. My family, especially my parents, have definitely been concerned about the age gap. They approve of the relationship more now and like him more now (well some of my family) but my parents are still kinda concerned, specifically my dad, even though he does like him more now because he has seen how much he loves me and how happy I am with him. But they’re also concerned about us talking about getting married.
I’m in college rn, but I would love to be a sahm someday (we want that more traditional lifestyle as a couple where he’s more of the breadwinner and I stay at home and be a mother someday - we’re both Catholic, and my whole family is also Catholic).
What’s your perspective about it or experience with it especially if you did get married young around this age? Any advice about this? Just looking for other perspectives so try to be nice about it if you reply, especially about the age gap
Before I get asked this, we started dating when I was 18 (so I was an adult when we started dating). I turned 19 two months ago.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 31, 2024 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,787 |
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I'm 19f. My bf is 37m. I understand that a lot of people view age gaps like this really negatively. This is a healthy relationship and we love each other though. My family, especially my parents, have definitely been concerned about the age gap. They approve of the relationship more now and like him more now (well some of my family) but my parents are still kinda concerned, specifically my dad, even though he does like him more now because he has seen how much he loves me and how happy I am with him. But they’re also concerned about us talking about getting married.
I’m in college rn, but I would love to be a sahm someday (we want that more traditional lifestyle as a couple where he’s more of the breadwinner and I stay at home and be a mother someday - we’re both Catholic, and my whole family is also Catholic).
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 31, 2024 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,787 |
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bell_flower
I copied it because if it follows the usual trajectory, her ass will get roasted (we can only hope), and she's going to get butt hurt, and she will pull the whole thing altogether.
You know she won't listen anyway because she's in luuuv and she's being raised in a broodmare culture.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices November 01, 2024 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,136 |