Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices

Here's a woman who called herself CF for a while and then decided to get IVF and have a kid solo because.....she read social media and blogs?

And she's miserable.

You cannot fix stupid. What did she think having a kid would be like?

I always knew there are 24 hours in a day. I knew I was going to work and be financially self-supporting. I used to think, how would having a child make my day to day life better? And I knew the answer: it wouldn't. So I didn't.

It's not haaaaaaaaaaaard to figure out how miserable it could be.

From the FB IRHC page:

“I started getting into family vlog videos back in 2015. I always found them to be funny and charming, enjoying the way people shared their lives as parents. But there was one vlogger in particular that I started watching (I won’t mention her out of respect). She was a single mom who seemed serene, having built a life she was proud of as a single mother. The comments were full of people inspired by her, as if she were a martyr. My life was good, but I easily started feeling like it wasn’t good enough. I was totally independent, going through college alone, with no close family, no relationship, and just a couple of long-distance friends. I felt like a loner in every sense of the word, and I hated it at the time. Every day after studies, I would go home and be on the internet. My algorithm was full of how these "perfect" moms were doing it all with no help. Their content was full of happy go lucky and empowering captions about how proud and fulfilled they felt being a mom. They shared ups and downs but for the most part, they were happy. Comparing myself to them, I started to feel some serious FOMO. I used to embrace being childfree, believing I could be fulfilled without kids, but I still respected anyone who made the choice to have them. I always felt they were strong. But I started wanting that too. The story I bought into was simple: a baby can bring more joy in your life. It completes you. It’s can be the ultimate love story. So, I looked into IVF. It was expensive and invasive, but I told myself it was worth it. I imagined myself being one of those women who could raise the "perfect" "mini-me," so to speak.

Skipping the long run of saving money, school, and going through the stages for IVF, I finally got pregnant. The 8 months (she was born early) were a mix of good and bad, but I was so excited. However, the nightmare was already starting to set in because of how much money I was already spending. Clothes, car seat, formula, diapers, hygiene… and the doctor visits for the baby weren’t even in the picture yet. Then she was born. And that "happily ever after" was more like a total shock. I had her during Covid, so things were even harder mentally and financially. The labor was long, horrible, and traumatic. I had to get an emergency c-section, so I have a permanent scar to always remember it. And I hate that it didn’t go how I thought it would.

I love my daughter, more than I can even say. But the thing no one talks about is this heavy loss. Everyone pretends like childfree people are crazy for not wanting to go through this. The loss of me. The person I was before. I could do what I wanted whenever I wanted, sleep in on weekends, and my biggest problem was preparing for exams and dinner. I had to give up on a lot of my dreams. The first year was a blur of sleepless nights, crying from both me and the baby because she had colic. My clean apartment became a minefield of baby supplies and messes that is hard to clean because I’m always fucking tired. My body, which used to be just mine, feels alien, stretched out, and ugly.

And the peace is completely gone. My quiet home is now a constant noise. The endless yapping, screaming, children’s shows, and running around. The sounds people would often romanticize and make seem charming are annoying to me now. It never stops. I used to be able to sit and just be in silence and actually enjoy my own music instead of children’s music. Now, silence is just a memory. People say it gets better. They say, "Just wait until they can talk," or "Wait until they’re in school." But they don’t tell you that every new stage brings its own nightmare. Potty training, terrible twos, messes, the lies about Santa, financial stress, the endless school fundraisers, the headache of having to help them with every little thing. It never ends. You forget about taking care of myself. The mental load is crushing. With parenting, you become a chef, a chauffeur, a therapist, a janitor, a nurse, and an assistant. All at once. All. the. time. I’m scared that I might traumatize her or make her resent me because I just can’t stand the fact that she ruined my life. No. I ruined my life being stupid enough to think this was going to be a walk in the park with a little hiccups here and there. I knew parenting would be a bit tough, but I never would have imagined it to be a never-ending nightmare that I can’t wake up from. I want to scream sometimes, and it’s not her fault.

I look at my life now and feel a deep, burning regret. I feel so dumb for falling for that fairy tale. The one where parenthood is just a bunch of sweet moments and happiness. The reality is chaotic, hard, and usually, for me it’s even lonelier than I was before. I scroll through Instagram and see my child-free friends going through with their dreams, or having time to have night outs while I’m stuck at home with no one to take care of my daughter. I wish I could go back in time. I wish I could go back to those days on the couch where parenthood looked charming but far from something I actually wanted. I love my child to death, I do… but I have had these thoughts for a long time of dropping her off at the station…but this is my responsibility. I made a selfish decision that ruined my life and it can possibly ruin hers because I feel like she deserves a better mother than me. She’s a funny, kind little person, and she brightens my day on occasion, but for the most part, she’s a constant, peace-destroying monster. And I feel a deep sad ache for the life I used to have. The life I didn't appreciate enough because I was convinced by this lying society that I would be complete if I had a baby. My life is no longer mine.

I’m so tired of the lies saying that a baby is a blessing without telling you about the curse of exhaustion that comes with it. The ones that promise love but hide the endless, soul-draining sacrifice. It is HELL and now I know why some get mad at the childless. They want you to burn with them. I regret having a baby. And I wish I was brave enough to tell more people that out loud without feeling like the worst person in the world.”

Yeah, people should understand that social media mommies present their lives as being idyllic for the sake of the cameras. It is in no way a reflection of a realistic existence. It's like thinking a sitcom is based in reality.

I don't feel bad for this idiot. She bought into an imaginary existence like a sucker and now she has to deal with the hell she's gone and made for herself. If I feel bad for anyone, it's the kid, who I'm sure will pick up on Moo's resentment soon enough. The kid didn't ask to be born, but she's the one who will get blamed for Mommy's unhappiness.

I wish we could normalize voluntarily giving kids up when they are more than 15 minutes old.

At least she calls out the people who criticize the CF community for not joining in the madness, lol.

Did anyone see this one?

This Moo posted a very whiny, victim-y post because her MIL who is watching her toadler child FULL TIME for what Moo calls a "small amount, has DARED to ask her for more money. Moo trash talks Grandmoo and said she's "only watching her own grandchild," and that she shouldn't be demanding money "like a stranger would."

People keep asking the OP for details, which she refuses to provide, but earlier today the OP wrote a HUGE, scathingly long comment how GrandMoos should watch kids for free and it's part of the "social contract." Other commentors wrote some real nasty stuff about how GrandMoo should end up in a bad nursing home and her children should rightly turn on her for not giving free loaf care.

Many people are reaming the OP, but there are a fair number of super entitled twats on the thread.

The OP deleted her combative and nasty comments because she was getting massively downvoted.

AITA for considering a new babysitter because my MIL is demanded more money?

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My husband and I decided to have his mother help take care of our baby boy since we both work. We agreed to pay her a small amount, either weekly or monthly which she prefers. She initially agreed, but then she demanded a much higher payment, saying it's because taking care of the baby is hard. He's 2 years old.

I was a bit shocked. She's technically just looking after her own grandchild. It feels like she's treating it as a job and making demands like a stranger. My husband is frustrated with his family because they have no consideration for us. They wouldn't have helped at all if money wasn't involved.

AITA if we start looking for someone else we can trust to take care of our baby instead?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC/comments/1nq11o2/aita_for_considering_a_new_babysitter_because_my/

It's hilarious to me that Moo thinks it will be punishment for Grandmoo to not watch her kid. Wait until she has to pay the going rate for daycare.

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kittehpeoples
At least she calls out the people who criticize the CF community for not joining in the madness, lol.

I give Moo credit for that. The truth is that is sucks and they want us to suffer too. That's all there is too it. They are just mad that we are "getting away with it".

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"I have found little that is 'good' about human beings on the whole. In my experience most of them are trash, no matter whether they publicly subscribe to this or that ethical doctrine or to none at all."
~Sigmund Freud

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Cambion

If I feel bad for anyone, it's the kid, who I'm sure will pick up on Moo's resentment soon enough. The kid didn't ask to be born, but she's the one who will get blamed for Mommy's unhappiness.

I wish we could normalize voluntarily giving kids up when they are more than 15 minutes old.

Kids are many things, but they are not as stupid as breeders seem to think they are. She will/has picked up on the fact that moo resents her.

You are also right about the adoption. If I had been adopted by a sane family, I would have had a much better quality of life than being raised by an absentee dad and a psycho moo who kept comparing me to said dad.

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"I have found little that is 'good' about human beings on the whole. In my experience most of them are trash, no matter whether they publicly subscribe to this or that ethical doctrine or to none at all."
~Sigmund Freud

As far as the grandmoo brat-sitting, notice how Moo says "my husband and I decided to have his mother help take care of our baby boy." Sounds like Moo and Duh went ahead and made this decision without considering Grandma's opinion - they probably just told her she would be watching their brat, rather than asking her.

Isn't it funny how children are priceless treasures according to their handlers, but when breeders want someone else to watch them, they won't even pay minimum wage? If it were me, I would be sure to let Moo know that what she paid me would determine the quality of my work. Yeah sure, I'll do 40 hours a week for $1 an hour. I'll just sit on their couch and watch TV for that amount. Junior hung himself with a blind cord? Oh well, maybe if I had more financial incentive to watch him, that wouldn't have happened.

I guarantee whatever Moo is giving her MIL to watch her damn kid, no non-family babysitter will agree to do the same job for the same price.

And so what if she is "technically" just looking after her own grandchild? Don't Moos scream every May about how they deserve a six-figure salary for wiping asses and microwaving food? Or is the exact same job worth less when someone else does it?

When you want someone to do a job for you, you pay them. That's just kinda how that works.

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Cambion
Isn't it funny how children are priceless treasures according to their handlers, but when breeders want someone else to watch them, they won't even pay minimum wage?

Plus having children is the only way to experience "unconditional love," but the minute MIL stood up for herself suddenly she's horrible and people think she should be abandoned in a terrible nursing home.

Doesn't sound like grandma's son and daughter in law love her unconditionally. Sounds more like their affection for her is pretty transactional.

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kittehpeoples
Plus having children is the only way to experience "unconditional love," but the minute MIL stood up for herself suddenly she's horrible and people think she should be abandoned in a terrible nursing home.

Breeders don't like when anyone stands up to them and enforces boundaries. They try to steamroll people and expect them to just deal with it.

If that whole "you've never known real love until you've had a child" thing was true, why are breeders always working so hard to find someone to dump their brats on? I have read MANY stories of breeders who just dump their kids on random relatives' porches without calling first or getting permission. Then they get a shitty attitude when the homeowner calls CPS or informs them they are out of town.

Not to mention the ones who will just abandon their brats in the toy aisle or in an entirely different store so they can shop elsewhere in peace. And if they can't find anyone to dump the kids on, some of them will just plain leave them to their own devices at home.

But if the kid gets abducted or hurt, cue the lowing. "Ohhhh poor MEEEEEEEE, someone stole/hurt/killed my precious angel! No one could have foreseen this tragedy!" Uhhh, lady, you left your two-year-old alone for three hours in the toy section at Walmart.

Another idiot who caved into her husband about kids.

From the I Regret Having Children Page on FB.

I actually feel bad for this one. She writes like she has some intelligence. It sounds like she is in a garden-variety abusive relationship, and her husband is a dickhead and she allowed herself to get beaten down and surprise! (NOT) he's treating her even worse.

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“I cannot fathom that until just very recently I was happy, and child free. My life was fine. Good even.

I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. And I did. My main issue was with my husband. He really wanted kids. Very badly. Our relationship was on the rocks because of this. I have to say that I have always loved kids and growing up I always believed I would have one/some of my own. But it didn't happen and I grew accustomed to being the cool aunt and the cool grown up, who always played with and understood the kids of family and friends.

Then I hit menopause abruptly without warning.
My husband acted very depressed. I felt like I had ruined his life. I decided to look into ivf. After all I love kids and my poor husband really wanted one of his own.

I would like to pause for a minute and note that for years even though he supposedly wanted kids he not once got up off his ass to have a sperm analysis to see if the problem lay there. Rather he would often insult me and blame me for not conceiving because of my age (I'm older than him). He was actually very hurtful at times and even abusive in the way he went about it. Nonetheless I believed that I was somehow responsible, convinced myself that I loved him and figured that his bad attitude was because I hadn't made his dream of having children a reality and that that would all change if I did, right? Wrong.

The Ob-gyn told me I could only conceive with donor eggs. Initially that was out of the question for me. But after being brainwashed by my husband, by society constantly chiming about the marvels of having kids, afraid of being alone, believing that it would give new meaning and purpose to my father and sister (who doesn't have children), believing that I would be more connected with my in laws and that it would bring joy to my niece and nephew and more reasons involving others needs and wants-- I somehow became convinced (or convinced myself) that having a child through donor conception was ok for me.

It was not. Donor conception with a known donor can be a true gift to someone who is struggling with fertility in my opinion. Donation through anonymity carries with it A LOT of unanswered questions. Unanswered questions that haunt me. And before you ask why did I accept anonymous the answer is because that was the only way allowed where I live and I honestly didn't know any better.

Whenever I tried to voice my concerns everyone just acted like I was insane for it to bother me.
I started buying into the fairytale of a happy family. That I didn't have to abandon my childhood dream, that it was ok that it was an anonymous procedure and I would overcome it. That all that matters is having a child. That nothing brings greater joy and that after having one all your doubts will dissolve.

I have not overcome it, nothing dissolved, everything is ten times worse, my husband is still nasty and puts me down for no reason, I have lost the life I had, I never see my friends anymore or have time to talk to them, I have lost my freedom, my house is beyond messy, my baby cries ALL THE TIME, I don't have ANY time for myself, I hate that I have to constantly tend to her needs (cook, mash food to feed her, wash the blender dishes, wash and iron her clothes all the time, change her all the time yet no time to take care of myself, I never have time to talk with my father on the phone anymore who I really miss, I never see my niece and nephew anymore who I really miss as well, and I struggle and hate the fact that my daughter is from anonymous egg donor.

I also look about 100 now. My once fetching bosom looks like two tube socks in poor condition. My baby is very sweet and I care for her but at the same time I don't want her and very much regret having her. It is completely unhealthy to care deeply about someone and at the same time wish they had never been born.

There is no way I would have made this decision again if I could go back in time. I wish this was an awful dream. I hate my life, I resent and blame my husband, even hate him sometimes and wish I had just walked out the door in hindsight. It was of course my fault not his because I should have just left. All we do now is argue ever since the baby was born. Like two people who really hate each other.

I cannot believe I did this, it makes NO sense to me now. I really should have known better. I fear I will become sick because I just can't live like this. I just want my old life back, please God help.”

Yuck, it is nearly always having a loaf to "complete" him or her. Unless they're having brats for religious purposes and then they're much more prone to take out their frustrations on the brats because they view them as Gawd's punishment. And yet most of us criticize women/men who think a significant other can complete them. But somehow having a screaming, crying, demanding expensive little tyrant will complete them?

And let's explore religions who demand followers have brats as punishment from Gawd. If it is a punishment then maybe Gawd is trying to tell you something. Perhaps Gawd wants you to opt out and not be punished. And since the punishment for men is to work then if a woman also works she is essentially being "punished", no need for her to also be punished with brats.

I'm not sure which is worse: breeders breeding to feel complete or to have a porpoise. I think both are equally despicable and delusional. Thank goodness the childfree have the critical thinking skills to cut through this bullshit.

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“I cannot fathom that until just very recently I was happy, and child free. My life was fine. Good even.

I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. And I did. My main issue was with my husband. He really wanted kids. Very badly. Our relationship was on the rocks because of this. I have to say that I have always loved kids and growing up I always believed I would have one/some of my own. But it didn't happen and I grew accustomed to being the cool aunt and the cool grown up, who always played with and understood the kids of family and friends.

Then I hit menopause abruptly without warning.
My husband acted very depressed. I felt like I had ruined his life. I decided to look into ivf. After all I love kids and my poor husband really wanted one of his own.

All we do now is argue ever since the baby was born. Like two people who really hate each other.

I cannot believe I did this, it makes NO sense to me now. I really should have known better. I fear I will become sick because I just can't live like this. I just want my old life back, please God help.”

She could have just ended the relationship with her husband and went along her merry way. Then he'd be the miserable one-either with a brat or longing for a brat he doesn't have. Of course there is a great chance he'd stick around and be a crap parunt or make every excuse in the book to not be there to help with the brats. Or he could just abandon the brats and moo.

I'll never understand people who are childfree, have a brat to please a spouse and then are surprised or shocked when their relationship fails.

And as much as she was happy I suspect he was never happy. He seems to blame her for his happiness/unhappiness.

Regretful parunt has been thinking all week about Jane Goodall and how her life had so much meaning. Regretful parunt wishes he/she would have listened to adults telling him/her as a kid that anything is possible as an adult. Instead, regretful parunt spends all their time and energy raising brats and is too exhausted to follow any passions.

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Moo or Duh
Society lied (about parunting)

Welp, how do you like that? Imagine for one second why society would need to lie about parunting. Can you think of any reasons that claiming parunting gives you a "porpoise" or "unconditional lurv" or to "complete them" are total cons?
When you see parunts in the wild versus single adults or couples who looks happy? Refreshed? Who looks awful, old, tired and over it? Whose body language says they are unhappy? Because how people look and whether or not they are happy is what needs to be paid attention to, not their lies of "porpoise", "unconditional lurv" etc.

Seems to me the answers are very evident for anyone who can observe others.

https://www.reddit.com/r/regretfulparents/comments/1nygiaa/ive_been_thinking_a_lot_this_week/

She could still walk out the door. The Duh is the one who wanted the fucking brat, so let him raise it. Pack some shit, stay with ANYONE she trusts and never look back. I'm sure everyone will say and think horrible things about her for abandoning her kid and marriage, but fuck 'em! it's not their lives, it's HER life.

It might be better if she does that, honestly. Not just for her, but for her kid. The brat didn't ask to be born. Is it fair for her to grow up watching her parents hate one another and argue constantly? She'll grow up thinking that's normal and then probably wind up in her own abusive relationship because she doesn't know any better.

This woman just made all the wrong decisions, starting with the shitbag she married. You NEVER reproduce if your relationship is already in the shitter.

I just came here to say, while Breaking Moo is a treasure trove of CF gold and Regretful parents too, Gosh, go to r/stepparents. Every single post is grade A miserable. This is actually the nicest post I found just scrolling away on there:

"I love my husband to absolute pieces. He does all the right things to prioritize our marriage. My SK is well behaved and responsible. Would I do this again? No."

Every single post states they would never date a person w/ kids again if this marriage ended some how.

As a CF, I never understood the romanticizing of parunthood, and now 2nd marriages w/ kids, stepkids has blown my fucking mind. Thank goodness I never fell for that shit, even being in love. I can't even imagine after reading all this. I honestly wonder how anyone works this out and can stand it. It is mostly step-moms of course.

Here's another moron who is blaming "society" because she had children (MULTIPLE CHILDREN) and She's miserable.

I ain't buying it, Moo. Society did not make you fuck without protection! You CHOSE to do this.

I read stuff like this and wonder if we all should be congratulating ourselves for having the wisdom to see past the bullshit. I came of age before the internet and I declared I was not having children at age 9, mostly because I had EYES and I used them to make observations. I saw how miserable most parents were and I watched couples become shadows of their former selves once the loaf arrived. (And I saw how the load fell disproportionally on the woman.)

And of course I was pressured and bingoed and discriminated against in the workplace because I didn't have kids. So what? I was smart enough to know that none of those idiots would be around to help raise a brat if I caved.

She does give a good description of the monotony and endless grind that child raising is. From the I Regret Having Children FB page.

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“Why is this the societal standard?

Humans are an incredible species, but even we have our limits. I really don’t believe our bodies and our minds are meant for this type of continuous grind, day after day, year after year. I don’t understand why this became the social standard? When did the goalpost get moved this far and get so ridiculous? We’re expected to (on no sleep I may add), get up, get kids fed and out the door, be stuck in traffic for upwards of an hour for a lot of people, work all day, be stuck in traffic again, pick up kids, get them to sports or activities, cook, clean, take care of all of the household responsibilities, and then get to bed late and do it all over again, upwards of 5+ days a week? For some people, even more, working multiple jobs just to survive and put food on the table.

Why is this the gold standard of being a functioning adult? Why is this the life society has taught up to all strive for? It’s absolutely mentally and physically draining, I really don’t think we’re meant for this type of repetitive stress over and over again for years and years with no kind of break.
Humans need several hours a day of time to relax and digest the stressors of the day. We need our stress hormones to shut off for awhile, we need our body and muscles to rest, we need our mind to rest. We need periods of quiet and peace. We can’t be stuck in fight or flight mode constantly, running on fumes. This is how we get riddled with chronic heath issues, which are becoming more prevalent in younger populations now.

If I was a child right now and an adult told me instead of “you can be anything you want when you grow up” and actually said “when you grow up, to be considered a successful, functioning adult, you’re going to be exhausted all of the time.. you’re going to wake up early, get everyone out the door, be stuck in traffic, go to work all day, get children, drive them around to activities all afternoon, come home and slave for hours making meals and cleaning, have very little time for yourself or your spouse, very little social time for friends or hobbies, and get to bed late and get little sleep and do it all over again multiple days in a row, for years and years” I would look straight into that adult’s face with a blank stare and say “absolutely F***ing not I won’t be doing any of that.” Because it sounds horrible, what kind of life is that? As a child I would be able to 100% figure out that sounds AWFUL. And yet, here we are, as adults, and this is the life path we went down anyways. Why is this the life many of us strived for? Why was this painted as the ultimate success and path to happiness for us? Why didn’t we become that astronaut or marine biologist that we wanted to be when we were five? When the adults were telling us our future is going to be beautiful and that we could be whatever we wanted to be. Where did life take such a different turn? And even if we didn’t want to become astronauts and marine biologists, why didn’t we strive for a life at least where there’s some peace and relaxation and time for hobbies and interests?

By societal standards, I’m successful. I can have a career that go to multiple times a week, I have kids, I have a spouse, he has a good job, we have a home. And yet, I don’t feel successful at all, I feel absolutely miserable. I feel like I failed myself. All of my passions and interests and things that made me, uniquely me, have all been thrown out the window. I don’t even know what makes me uniquely me anymore. I always think about how livid I would be if I died (not that I’d be around to experience it but…) and during my eulogy it started out as “she was an incredible mother” because that’s all my personality has become. Why not “she was a talented artist and she loved painting, she loved the ocean, she was so competitive and great at sports” … I’ll tell you why, because none of that even exists in my universe anymore. It’s dead and gone with the deepest parts of what made me, me.

Society F*****ing sucks. These standards F****ing suck. I’m so over this shit. And the standards will just get worse and worse as the economy gets worse and humans push themselves to unthinkable levels of exhaustion. The goalpost will just get further and further into the unthinkable. And it’s our kids who are going to suffer the consequences of that once they’re adults unless we truly teach them otherwise to choose differently, and what the true meaning of happiness and success is. Because I promise you, it doesn’t look like this.

I see retired people out for their morning walk along the ocean where we live and I think to myself, why do I have to wait 60+ years to finally get that? Why isn’t my life filled with that now? My mom didn’t even make it to 70 before she died of chronic illness so who says I’ll even get to see retirement one day? She worked so hard every damn day of her life and slaved over us kids and died before she got to see retirement (my dad is remarried now). What was it all for? Send myself into the brink of exhaustion every day so that when I’m finally 70 I can walk on the beach? That’s the standard of success?”

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kittehpeoples

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Cambion
Isn't it funny how children are priceless treasures according to their handlers, but when breeders want someone else to watch them, they won't even pay minimum wage?

Plus having children is the only way to experience "unconditional love," but the minute MIL stood up for herself suddenly she's horrible and people think she should be abandoned in a terrible nursing home.

Doesn't sound like grandma's son and daughter in law love her unconditionally. Sounds more like their affection for her is pretty transactional.

Reminds me of the big rash (haha) of posts we had here a few years ago where moos and duhs were abandoning their brats on the doorsteps of their relatives (who happened to be childfree) thinking the relative would just watch their kids until they returned. Or the moo/duh was showing up at the house of a relative with their brats and sneaking away, again thinking their relative would just watch their kids. Another the relative agreed to a short babysit for an hour or two and the moo or duh left and didn't return until either late that night or the next day. I think there was at least one where a breeder sibling moved in with his/her brats into their childfree sibling's house and was causing havoc, not looking for work and letting the brats tear up the house.

The idiot moos and duhs often had relatives backing them up and pushing the childfree to accept the bad behavior. These families have no boundaries and if these childfree peeps accepted this crappy behavior it would never stop.

Breeders will dump their brats off on anyone or everyone who won't tell them no. This includes siblings, aunts, uncles, niblings, and grandparents. I've had "friends" abandon me with their brats. And yet they're always trying to convince us how great having brats is and all about that unconditional luv! It is a cult.

I gotta say, I'm absolutely confused.

Just read that story of the older person with a shit husband who got talked into IFV breeding with donor eggs.

How does that happen? What makes these people tick? Every cautionaty tale is out there in times of reddit and what-not, everyone should've gotten the memo that last-minute FOMO breeding with obvious arseholes is a terrible idea. And that pignasty changes the body, more-often-that not causing irreversible harm.
And that you should screen people you date if you claim to be 'Child-free' (as that person did). And that separating from /divorcing a wannabreed is the way to go for CF people. That being single is far, far better than torturing yourself in a self-made breeder prison.

WHY do these people think they would be different? Why do they appear to think that they are so special that nothing bad would happen to them? Most of them don't sound uneducated. What's that cazy Kool-Aid??

Stay safe, y'all. And better check out real porpoises before they die out from climate change and pollution (by breeders, at the end of the day). At least they're cute.

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Freedom & Art & Music >>>>>>>>>> human spawn

"Music is immortal. People are not."
-William Anger, "King's Story" - Thief2 FM by Zontik

Poor single Moo is looking for a sitter and when she finds one (the author of this post), she conveniently leaves out the part where she has a severely disabled brat that requires changing and feeding. She only tells the sitter about her two normal kids and then springs the disabled one on her when she shows up for her first day on the job.

My guess is Moo knew from experience that nobody would babysit such a fucked-up kid because he needs more than a sitter - he needs a caregiver. But Moo probably doesn't want to pay for a caregiver. So she just lied about the broken kid and assumed the sitter wouldn't back out at the last minute.

Welp, joke's on Moo! Her guilt trip didn't work and the author noped out of that shitshow, presumably for two reasons: having a third surprise brat dumped in her lap, and said third child having needs well beyond what a 19-year-old girl could accommodate. Obviously Moo doesn't give a shit about getting her busted kid a proper carer if she's willing to risk his safety placing him in the hands of a completely inexperienced young adult.

I like the suggestion of reporting her ass to CPS because by intentionally trying to hire underqualified sitters/carers for her disabled brat, she is neglecting him and risking his safety on purpose to save some money. And if she is willing to lie about an entire fucking child's existence, what else is she going to lie about? Yeah nobody needs that shit.

https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/o1xjr6/aita_for_backing_out_of_agreement_to_babysit_for/

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I [F19] started working as a babysitter recently as I do during this time of year every year. I received a call from a single mother wanting me to babysit her kids while she goes to work from 8am to 6pm. I met up with her (I always first meet up with parents and see where they live and how many kids they have etc etc etc) and I found what she told me a bit strange. She said she has been desperately looking for a babysitter who is willing to babysit her kids but couldn't find. I mean the area is full of babysitters available. Her house was close enough, and the money is good so I was kinda confused by her statement.

She introduced me to her 2 kids (7,4) they were super nice and polite. We talked about schedules/routines/their regular rules and we agreed on almost everything. First day of the job, I arrived at her place at 7:30 and I was puzzled when I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I asked who he was and she said that this was her 'severly' disabled 11yo son. I asked if she was expecting me to look after him too. And she said he was part of the deal but he wasn't, I didn't know about him and did not think I was going to have to care for a disabled child. She told me I was overreacting and gave me a list of "duties" such as changing him and feeding him at certain times. But I freaked out and I told her no, I'm not capable of caring for a disabled 3rd kid in the house we did not agree on that. I'm just a babysitter not a carer which what he needs.

She said she wouldn't be worried as long as I'm an adult besides that it's like caring for an infant and asked me if I had never changed a diaper before. But this is different, this is completely different. I blatantly said that this doesn't work for me and decided to not babysit for her. She got upset with me saying I can't back out of an agreement now after I led her on and she thought she chose an adult for this job but I was being unreliable. But she initially lied and hid her 3rd son who's disabled and needs special care and then expected me to go with the flow. She said that I should at least try for a week til she's got a willing babysitter because she can't leave her new job and stay home with the kids. She begged me to stay even offered more money but I decided to leave.

I got home and my parents asked me why I left my new job. I told them what happened and my mom looked dumbfounded saying I put that lady in a rough place by basically bailing on her when she was counting on me. What?lol no why'd she think that! She went on about her being a struggling single mom trying to make things work but I was acting cowardly and selfishly and short sightedly. I asked mom "are you serious?" And she responded by asking me to put myself in her shoes but she wanted me to care for a severely disabled child and I honestly got scared this is a huge responsibility legally. Morally it was a jerk move for just quitting without giving her chance to find a replacement. She kept calling for hours

Here's another idiot who doesn't want kids and is probably going to cave because her husband wants them.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver60/comments/1od6ynf/seeking_advice_and_wisdom_on_the_decision_of/

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Hello ladies. I come to you as a 30 yo woman, asking for any words of advice, wisdom, two cents, whatever you want to call it, on the decision of starting a family.

I have an incredibly emotionally intelligent, caring, husband. We have been together for a decade - we make each other laugh, adventure together, have deep conversations, great sex, share chores, put each other first - our love life is very full and I am constantly in awe of how lucky I am to have him as a partner in this life.

Outside of that, we both come from nice families (with a couple nuts of course and bumps in the road but hey), I have a graduate degree and we have good careers, we bought a house, we have savings, we travel, we have hobbies! we go to therapy, we are spontaneous with our weekends and have amazing friends!!!!

But nonetheless, here I am. Wondering. He wants kids, if it was up to him, I’d of had a kid at 23. And I just don’t know. Our life feels so full and perfect, I have three younger siblings that I am very close with, sometimes they feel like my kids. I am not sure I want to sacrifice our life to parenthood.

I see how the lives of my own mom, my aunts, her friends all turned out. I do see joy in them - some of them SAHM, some of them with professional careers, some who travel more some who hobby more, some of them with bad partners, some of them with good ones, etc etc., But, in my opinion, one thing they all have in common is that I sense a resentment in them - either towards themselves, their kids, or their partners, for the sacrifices motherhood required. As if they were forced into this default role and didn’t get the individual life they maybe pictured for themselves, or didn’t get to do the things they wanted to do when they had more freedom when they were yonger - that just seems like SUCH a sad feeling! Even my own mom, had dreams!!! She wanted to live in Ireland, Boston, she wanted to live a different way - but she was a SAHM in the suburbs, in a place that I know she always, still today, felt misaligned with the community and values. If you asked, of course she would not trade it for anything, but two things can be true at once - she can not want to change a thing, but still think about her life was for others, and not for herself a lot of times.

I don’t want to be resentful of missing a full life for ME. I personally believe the ability to have a child is a gift, but also believe that too often women’s lives are validated only by their ability to create another life, instead of build their own.

I would never describe myself as maternal. Sometimes I hear women, even younger than me, say things like "I can't wait to be a mom" or some other sure statement about motherhood, like it's not even a decision for them, they just know it's for them I guess? I just cannot relate to that AT ALL.

But I am genuinely curious - I would like to meet the child of myself and my partner. I can visualize it. I think we'd be pretty decent parents, I can see how it would be hard, but fun. But is it right for me? I just am so so so UNSURE!!!!

Another good reason to be glad you don't have kids: having them suck you dry economically and you are still supporting them into your 60's. Dud seems to proud of his son who cannot support himself.

https://www.reddit.com/r/GenerationJones/comments/1ockdr4/still_providing_significant_support_to_millennials/

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I have seen articles that state between 40 and 60 percent of older Americans still provide support to their children. Is that true for you? Has it affected your plans for retirement?

My wife has been retired for 4 years now, and I postponed retirement until April of 2026. Both my kids live in major and expensive cities. One is a brilliant writer/historian, but currently works on retail books. He has published quite a bit in national and local publications and has a solid start on a book that a number of publishers are interested in. But he only makes about 2/3 of a living wage for his City. He has a serous health condition that can impact his ability to keep a job, but does fine if he takes care of himself. We probably have provided about $20K a year for the last 20 years.

My other child is an actor/writer/stand up comic. She has been independent for the last ten years, but has not worked while pursuing stand-up and writing work. She has dine some acting and has her SAG card. Unfortunately she and her spouse are splitting, separated for now. So far it has been a reasonable transition and he has given her a monthly income that covers her rent. I am worried that that could blow up at any time. We have funded her deposit, furnished her apartment, and provided some support to her. Other than acting she has no formal training that could give her a leg up on a good paying job. She has hustle and currently works a job that mostly pays $25/ hour, but sometimes pays 45 or 90 for a few hours per week. She baby sits for 25/hour /kid, dog sits and dog walks.

I postponed one becausee of worries over the kids support, but now have some health problems and really want to retire. My job is not stressful or demanding though, I have been training staff Tod do my work, so I can work with no effects other than I want more free time.

Have any of you got past the stage of worrying about your kids? Our helped them get independent? I want them to be happy and pursue their dreams while living in the place they love. We both have great pensions, social security and we have just over a million in deferred compensation. Our pensions and SS will total $21K per month. I actually could keep supporting them for a while. But worry since are saving are not huge.

In fairness, it can be hard to keep yourself financially afloat now compared to the past. Some people can work multiple jobs and still not be able to afford the basics. Especially in my state where fucking minimum wage has not gone up since 2009. It sucks, but it's not exactly uncommon either.

It sounds like what needs to happen is Junior and Princess need to move to less expensive cities, and if they can do their jobs remotely or travel for them (AND be compensated for travel), then do that. I'm sure they went to NYC to "make it big" or whatever, but they aren't even gonna make it small if they can't afford to live. Also, has either child figured out what they will be doing for money when their parents finally die? It sounds like a difficult discussion needs to be had because Moo and Duh won't live forever. Also, the kids need a financial literacy class.

Between the two grown kids, the male one sounds like he's probably got better chances professionally. The daughter is an actor and stand-up comic. Those things are fine as hobbies or side hustles, but since her resume is full of "creative" things, she may not be taken seriously by many employers if she tries to find a real job (I'm a design major, I don't know how this goes AT ALL ). Also, she has not been "independent" if she still needs her parents to pay for everything for her.

This is what my cousin is doing too (I talked about it here in another thread): living the big city life on Mommy and Daddy's dime. Only my cousin isn't actually working or even trying to.

LONG gone are the days when people could look forward to booting their kids out the door on their 18th birthday. It sounds like neither kid is completely hopeless in terms of their resumes, but they will certainly struggle to find real work because being a writer or an actor isn't going to impress anyone.

Woman wants to know if she's the asshole for parking in a particular spot and disrupting an awtard's ritual.

The gist is the author parks in the pickup zone at her kid's school - I presume a spot close to the doors because her kid is injured and needs help. Some other Moo approaches her and demands she move her car because her tard child HAS to be in that spot because he does some kind of weird shit with the fire hydrant and it's the only way he will behave himself.

Author says no, tard child tries to get into HER car, and then the tard teacher yells at the author the next day for messing up Tardley's tard ritual and causing him to act out and try to escape.

Bitch, unless Tard Moo's name is written on the parking space, it is first come, first served. Tard Moo's inability to teach her brat coping mechanisms when he doesn't get his way is not the author's fault, and fuck the teacher who ganged up on her too. It's not the job of a total stranger to cater to an awtard's whims. I'm sure it's easier to indulge tard children in their weird rituals so the brat never has to struggle, but they will eventually come across situations where their horse shit will not be tolerated or can't happen. The longer these little bastards go without disruptions and learning to handle them, the worse it will be. They need to know how to deal with not getting their own way, because otherwise, there will be a meltdown. And if he is too fucked up to tolerate even the slightest deviation from his daily bullshit, he needs to not be in a public school. Put him in a room with his own fucking fire hydrant that he can touch all day long.

And why did both the Tard Moo AND the sped teacher just stand there and watch instead of dealing with the child? They watched him almost get into a stranger's car! Glad the author stood her ground. I wouldn't move my car because I was expected to cater to someone else's screwy kid.

Also, what happens when one awtard's ritual triggers another awtard? Like if one tard has to clap four times before sitting down and the tard next to them can't handle sharp sounds.

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1odo4fn/aitah_for_not_moving_my_car_and_disrupting_an/

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I (48F) have a daughter (15F) who just had knee surgery. When she returned to school, she was in a full leg brace and using crutches.

On her first day back to school, I got to the parking lot early to get a spot in the pick-up zone because I knew she was in pain and also would need assistance getting in and out of the car.

I was parked there a couple of minutes when someone knocked on my window. I opened it and a mom said, I need you to move your car.

I asked why, and she explained that she always parks in that spot because her autistic son has a ritual with the fire hydrant there and that's the only place he will go to be picked up.

I responded that I would not move and explained to her my situation.

She then repeatedly insisted that I had to move and when I continued to refuse, she said she would report me.

Admittedly, her son did come out to the fire hydrant, and then tried to get into my car. I noticed as I was trying to redirect him (and I do work with autistic adults, so I have some techniques of my own), that the mom was standing some distance back with one of the special ed teachers just watching. It felt like they were waiting for me to make some sort of egregious error.

I did redirect him with the help of another kid who seem to know him, and I got my daughter into the car - she was in tears from the pain - and we left.

The next day I was not there quite so early so I did not get that same spot. But the special ed teacher made a point of coming over and explaining to me how my lack of kindness had fully disrupted the young man's ritual, confused him terribly, and caused him to try to elope at school that day.

So should I have just moved my car?

Edit: my daughter had already been out 10 days & had wanted to return to school & had Drs clearance. It was just a bit too much, even with the assistance she was provided.

Edit: day 2, I also got into the pick up zone, just not "that" spot. If I'd left the pick up zone the first day, I would have been shunted out of the parking lot & around the school into the line which would have taken an additional 10-15 min

Dumb bint is in a shitty marriage.....and of course she's doing IVF.

Grabbing this one before it disappears.

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My husband and I been married for almost 5 years. This passed week my mom and brother were visiting from a different state, I only get to see them like 2 a year. Well we take care of his mother and basically she ruined the whole trip, the last day my mom and brother were here she started a argument with me just to get a reaction and when she got what she wanted, she just smiled. This has happened multiple times before but it’s the first time my mom and brother saw it. I was very upset crying for hours after my family left. The next day my mom and brother both called me told me they were really worried about me because they finally saw with their own eyes how she was and they were really upset and wanted to make sure I am okay, my brother even offered to get me a plan think back home because he didn’t think this was healthy for me. I told my best friends about what happen and she broke into tears. My husband was apologetic but it’s like he never brought it up after that, he also never did anything nice like bought me flowers because he saw how difficult it was for me. This isn’t the first time something that this happened, it’s been happening for 5 years. But with everything in our marriage he’s too busy to talk to me about it. He’s to busy to talk about ivf (which we’re currently going through) I had a call with my nurses on Tuesday and he has yet to ask me about it. I’m scared to suggest counseling because I’m worried if he go well found out marriage isn’t fixable. His mother is not our only problem. I just tired on not being noticed..

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/1ol6t6c/comment/nmg0ew6/

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bell_flower
Dumb bint is in a shitty marriage.....and of course she's doing IVF.

Does anybody else remember the article/essay/diatribe written by the woman in a serious, long term relationship where the guy didn't want children but she said she wasn't going to let that stop her? They were both in their late 30s iirc, living together, and she had decided that just because her partner was CF that didn't mean she had to be. She said she didn't expect him to do anything to help with the child (hahahahahaha) but she was getting IVF essentially using the excuse of "I'm a grown up and I can do what I like."

I often wonder how well that turned out, lol.