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Reddit moo

My mom kept her grandchildren (before mine were born) even when she was going through cancer treatments, so it is bewildering to me that my MIL can’t/won’t keep them for two days to help us out.

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twocents
Jealous defendant, w/5 kids was trying to weasel out of repayment.. and baldly stated about how unfair it was that teach and family could go on occasional vacations, go out to eat occasionally while poor unemployed self couldn't make ends meet. JJ said at one point 'you chose to have a gaggle of kid and the plantiff planned her family and stayed within budget' (or however JJ phrased it she could be acerbic). needless to say the defendant lost big time.

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LoveToLurk

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Reddit moo

My mom kept her grandchildren (before mine were born) even when she was going through cancer treatments, so it is bewildering to me that my MIL can’t/won’t keep them for two days to help us out.

That poor woman. No wonder she’s no longer alive.

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I (46M) am getting married to my fiancée (39F), we have been together for 3 years. I have two daughters (18F, 9F) from previous relationships. My youngest’s mother left when she was 6.

My fiancée is a very sophisticated person and have exquisite tastes. She also does not really care for young children and this has created tension between her and my youngest daughter. While our plans have been delayed due to global circumstances, our plans to get married are finally going ahead. It’s going to be a very lavish and expensive wedding. Due to the nature of the wedding and my fiancée’s preferences, our wedding is also going to be child free. We will, however, be inviting my oldest as she is no longer a child and because, unlike my youngest, her and my fiancée get along well.

However, I didn’t realize that my youngest expected to come to the wedding. She tried to tag along with my fiancée and oldest when they were going shopping for a dress for my oldest, because she thought she was going to need a dress too. I explained to her that the wedding was going to be for adults only and that she wouldn’t be attending. She started crying and getting mad which stressed out my fiancée.

She has been distraught about this for days and hasn’t let it go.

My parents came by to visit today and my youngest told them what had happened. When they asked for clarification on the situation I explained to them that my daughter wouldn’t be attending the wedding because the child free rule applied to her as well. Besides, this wedding would not be suitable for a child and I don’t want my fiancée to have to deal with my daughter on the most important day of her life. My parents told me I was being a terrible father by prioritizing my fiancée over my daughter and that on the day of the wedding they would take my daughter out for a special day, which means they wouldn’t be in the wedding. I told them they couldn’t do that, even if they didn’t attend the wedding I wouldn’t let them take my daughter. This has become a bigger conflict than I intended.

My fiancée and I both think we’re in the right for wanting a child free wedding, but it appears I may lose my parents from the wedding over this and I want to know if I’m in the right or not. AITA?

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Cambion
I also see he didn't waste any time shacking up with a new hole. The girl's bio-mum left three years ago and Dud has been with his fiancee for three years.

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Every morning I'm crushed that I woke up. I do not want to do this anymore. I hate being a mom, a wife, just the person always expected to take care of everyone's needs & emotions. I wish I would've known how much it would suck the life out of me.

My kids just fight all day, every single day. An autistic 9yo who acts 2/3 and a 3yo that hia dad babies all the time so he's awful. Every day I yell, I cry, I hate my life. Nobody is ever happy and somehow it's my fault.

My younger sister is here to "help" but instead has added to my load. She lays on my couch all day complaining about the kids. Going on & on about how much my life sucks, how my life is the perfect example why she got an abortion/never wants to be a mom/needs to get on bc.

And to top it all off, I'm 22wks pregnant and just don't want this baby at all. I feel like it was the biggest mistake to go thru with this pregnancy and I hate myself every day for it. I have no idea how I'm going to deal with a baby on top of everything else. It feels impossible and I just want to die. I wish I could sleep forever & be done with all this.

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Hey Bromos,

I really need your help, and kindness. I have such a hard decision to make and I feel like I can’t make it. Please help steer me in the right direction, this may be long but I really need someone’s advice here.

My partner (29) and I (27) have been together 7 months. I am 6 months pregnant. I got pregnant literally right away. We both have a child from a previous relationship who are both 3 years old(8 months apart) and we live in different provinces (about 2 hour distance) I do all the travelling by myself and I pay for it all.

I’m due in October and he wants me to move in. But it’s so much more complicated than simply moving in and I keep getting closer to my due date and have no idea if moving in is the right choice. I’ll give you some insight on what’s stopping me.

1. I live in a beautiful government funded apartment. I was extremely lucky to get it as a single mom to my oldest as soon as I did. It’s a 2 bedroom and can easily fit this new baby on the way. I love my apartment. It’s mine, it’s beautiful. I have family here, support systems, a job, I have daycare where my son has lots of friends and is really happy. It’s EXTREMELY affordable. I will never get this opportunity again if I leave or be able to support 2 kids on my own without this place and these opportunities.

2. He has a temper. He gets MEAN. He yells, he throws things and punches things. He got drunk and spit on my face during a fight once at 10 weeks pregnant.. poured a beer all over my head after. He says the worst of the worst and when it’s over he acts like it never happened. Doesn’t talk about it. I stay cause I love him. He smashed my new phone to bits.. never fixed it so I’m using a very cracked phone. Easily set off and when he goes off.. it’s usually at me or just start wrecking things. I have often picked up and left with all my things cause I don’t want my son around it.. usually happens when kids are asleep but I often leave next day.. but than he goes back to being the man I love and I struggle to stay away and I come back. Edit to add: I also discovered he was flagged for domestic violence by the local police department 4 years ago. I never knew that but he did explain he use to use drugs back than and changed his life around and is a different man. I did believe him, I know he’s off drugs completely but discovering the domestic violence flag was concerning.

3. He has animals. He has 2 pit bulls, one of which he let get pregnant after I said I don’t want to raise puppies with a newborn. He didn’t listen, she’s pregnant. I said abort, he didn’t. We have puppies due a month before delivery. Oh.. and he got a kitten. I told him no. I said I can’t handle these animals, he snuck out and got one. He wants another too.

4. He has a very difficult child. He told me he only gets her 50/50 when we got together.. I discovered his baby mama is a drug addicted escort with a history of all kinds of abuse on 2 other children. She chose drugs (surprise) we had to save his daughter and now she’s with us fulltime cause mom abandoned her. She has so many delays and behavioural issues. I suspect autism. She doesn’t talk at 3, she has HUGE meltdowns and gets violent. She screams. When she’s happy she screeches. The volume is always high. I struggle to bond with her cause I was thrown into being her mother and she is overwhelmingly hard. I got her into speech and evaluations.. he keeps forgetting to take her. The only plus is I have daycare for both kids if I move there so i will have help.

5. He’s impulsive and selfish. I often do all the travelling since he can’t leave his dogs. He rarely helps with money and he has used me asking for money in fights before, saying I’m just with him for his money when I have barely gotten a penny out of him. He expects me to clean and cook and look after 2 toddlers.. while pregnant. I often sleep in and in fights he uses that against me. It’s hard and I’m struggling and I can’t keep up and in fights he makes it known he thinks I’m lazy and can’t handle kids. It hurts.

6. He hasn’t publically announced his son on the way. He says he doesn’t post on social media but he does.. he posts his daughter. He hasn’t bought a single thing. Not a diaper, not a onesie. Nothing. I have gotten everything at the apartment on my own and set it all up cause we fight a lot. He changed his room around so it doesn’t fit a baby now. He doesn’t suggest names.

7. We bicker a lot. I don’t feel seen and I feel alone and he always talks about himself and what he wants and not our son so I get mad. He doesn’t ask how I am or feel. Talks about wanting to buy all this stuff but still hasn’t gotten anything for our baby. I get frustrated so we bicker. I’m always the one who comes back to work things out.. I left for 2 weeks after a bad fight and he never once reached out to me or came after me. He partied the entire weekend and I came back and found him messaging a girl. He never reaches out to me to fix things..it’s always me come crawling back.

We’re trying to work things out but am I. Crazy? Do I need to run? I’m scared to have 2 alone. I want to give birth next to him. I don’t want to fail my sons with no father figure. But moving in doesn’t seem like an easy choice… and if things don’t work out there I will be homeless and fucked. I can’t go to my family with 2 babies and I can’t afford an apartment alone and won’t get back into government housing .. so what do I do? Please help me. I feel so lost.

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Specifically talking about parents of 3+, I too was able to employ All The Tools when I had just 1.

Mine are 6, 2, and 1. It’s not that I don’t know the tricks and strategies and methods etc etc, it’s applying them 293732983737x a day that feels impossible. So if I yell at them once an hour that seems bad, but that’s not considering the 50 times that hour I DIDN’T yell.

Example: something simple like going to the park. The 2yo runs away when I try to change her diaper and I chase her all over the house. The 6yo can’t find his shoes and doesn’t like the ones by the door so whines louder and louder and louder. While this all occurs the 1yo pulls the 2yo’s milk cup off the table and spills it, 2yo screams and grabs it, 1 yo screams. In the confusion I set down my keys and it takes 5mins to find them. 6yo tries to show me a trick while 2yo asks for something so I can’t hear either of them, both pout and fuss that I wasn’t listening to them (because I literally can’t). By this time 6yo is whining about why haven’t we left yet. 2yo wants to bring a snack but I say no because it’s almost dinner, whining ensues. Finally at the car 1yo climbs into the wrong seat while I’m buckling 2yo and has to be wrestled out, 2yo thinks that’s funny and does the same thing. 6yo is playing with the dog and has to be prompted multiple times to get in the car, he’s going on about something “but but but i just want one minute to finish X but but” and finally I snap and thunder “GET IN THE GODDAMN CAR”.

So like, in this scenario the gentle parenting accounts and advice aren’t helping because I know about taking breaths, offering choices, acknowledging feelings etc, I had already employed those strategies over and over patiently for the past hour,but it’s just so nonstop 18 hours a day every single day i don’t see how people are doing this and never losing their shit.

I feel so bad, I hate myself and dwell darkly on what my kids will say about me and my traumatizing yelling in therapy someday.

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Cambion
Oh whoops, I guess my brain decided to skip over the part where she is 22 weeks along. I forget, in some states, isn't the cut-off 24 weeks? Or maybe it was?

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Sorry for the long post, it's 2am and I'm crying and tired and worn out. If I'm rambling, it's because I've held this in for so long not wanting to burden friends or family with my marital troubles.

I 34F have been with my husband (37M, we'll call him Nathan) for 8 years. Ever since our daughter (3F) was born, I have been unable to trust Nathan with anything no matter how small.

Background context: When I was 19 after a semi truck driver fell asleep at the wheel and turned my car into scrap metal with me inside it. I have enough metal holding me together that I light up like a Christmas tree for TSA and physically impaired with good days and bad days. I used a portion of my settlement check to buy a house outright and have it retrofit to accommodate my needs as I'll eventually require a wheelchair. I work in software development as it's fun and nobody cares if I work from bed on bad days.

My husband has not worked in 5 years. Which has been fine until our daughter was born. Between the settlement money, a paid off house, and my salary, I enjoyed having him here with me. He contributed by handling most of the domestics. We pay for a weekly cleaner with monthly deep cleaning because it gave us more time together.

Ever since our daughter was born, it was like a light switch turned off in his head.

For our daughter, he would buy the wrong size diapers. Not fully mix bottles. Put diapers on backwards. Leave out poop-covered wipes. Forget to latch cabinets. This past week, he has gone to the store 3 times because he keeps coming home with the wrong size socks and shoes for her. I eventually just ordered the right ones on Amazon.

For me, he has tried to help me with my weekly pill organizer fill-up and several times has spilled the contents of new medications all over the floor. Then "not seeing" that he didn't get all of them off the floor. He has repeatedly brought me grapefruit juice to take my medications with - a huge no! He has repeatedly forgotten that I can't have dairy and puts milk in my coffee. Or cheese on a burger. He has broken SO many things of mine from being careless. He shattered my laptop because it slipped out of his hand when he tried to pack it for a trip. Even after I said I would pack my own electronics.

We've lost so many spoons and forks to the disposal. He tried to replace the head gasket in my car and over torqued the engine bolt (??) Which shattered insode the block and two different shops said they couldn't repair it. We ended up getting a new vehicle because a replacement engine would have cost $11,000. A week later, he crashed the new car into the garage door because he thought he'd pressed the brakes, not accelerator.

He wanted to do TikToks and streaming as a hobby. I supported him initially. But I quickly noticed a pattern. Anything regarding our daughter or me, he was sloppy and careless. He never whoops'd his own stuff. He would build entire sets to stream or make videos with, leave the garage, and leave his brain in the garage.

It came to a head four nights ago. He streamed himself building a new set piece. Nine hours straight. Meanwhile I worked, "clocked out early" to pick up our daughter from summer camp, cooked and fed both of us, got her ready for bed. He came out to help put her to bed. I let him know that I needed to get some work done and would be in my office. And I asked him to take the trash out. He says he will.

2 hours later, I left my office and the house felt really warm. He'd taken the trash out, but left our front door partially open. And was back in the garage with his game volume really loud. I panicked since our daughter is able to get out of bed and thankfully she was sound asleep. But she could have easily toddled right out of the house and he wouldn't have noticed.

Then I noticed a stove top burner was on. With a small pot on it with nothing inside.I didn't use the stove for cooking that night.

I pop my head into the garage and said "hey, I need you for a minute." I informed him of the door situation and he responds "i thought I locked it". We checked the camera and no, he did not. I ask about the burner being on and he said he was planning to make ramen and forgot. He pulled the still hot pot off the burner and put it straight into the sink on top of our daughter's favorite plastic plate. Which is now ruined.

I'll admit I overreacted and screamed "What are YOU DOING". He realized what he'd done and pulls the pot off our daughter's plate... and straight onto the countertop. I grab it quickly and run it under water to cool it down.

I tell him I can't tonight. I can't deal with him. I'm taking my meds and going to sleep. He gets a cup from the cupboard, and sets it straight onto the burner that'd been on.

I hit my limit. I started crying. He kept saying that it was fine, things happen, it's just an accident, he's had a rough day from streaming, he's just tired. Why am I crying, it's just a cup. We can replace it.

The anger hit and I said "It's because I have a liability and not a partner." He said "what the fuck does that mean". I screamed that it's because I can't trust him to do anything. That I'm always having to watch him like a child. Always having to bear the costs of his mistakes. That every time I get careless and think I can trust him to be an adult, I'm always the one getting fucked over. I then said "I can't see you as a partner anymore. You're just another liability in my checkbook".

He immediately stormed out of the kitchen and went to bed. I called my mom and told her what happened. She thinks it's just stress and offered to take our daughter for a week so we could figure this out without our daughter seeing it. She says it was an asshole thing to call my husband a liability.

In the morning, I told my husband that my mom would pick up our daughter from summer camp and offered to watch her for a week. He said "ok" and that's the only interaction we've had since. He spends all day in the garage playing games with his friends, making Tiktoks, and streaming. For food, he's been ordering DoorDash and having the person deliver it in the garage.

It's been days and he refuses to be in the same room as me. I've tried messaging him to ask if we can talk. Or figure out a solution. But he's just left me on read. If I pop into the garage, he ignores me but apologizes to his friends or viewers for the interruption and geek unmute his mic when the noise stops.

Before the blow up, I've asked if there was something going on. I tried to gently respond every time he screwed up so our daughter didn't associate "mistake" to "anger". I asked him to schedule with a doctor to see if something was going wrong medically. He always said I was over-reacting, people make mistakes. And didn't see an issue, even when the same mistakes kept happening. When I tried to get him to understand that it was concerning just how expensive his mistakes were getting, he'd wave it off as a "it's not like we can't afford it".

I love him dearly, I just miss the person he was before we had a child. The one I could trust and rely on. Did I screw this up forever? Was I being too harsh on his mistakes? Am I missing something? Am I the asshole?

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My husband, Jake (30M), and I (27F) recently welcomed our first baby, Emma, who is now three months old. As most new parents know, it's been a challenging time, filled with sleepless nights and endless diaper changes. I’m on maternity leave, so I’m home with Emma all day, but I still need help from Jake, especially during the night.

Jake works from home and is a huge gamer. He spends most of his free time playing online games with his friends. I’ve tried to be understanding and give him his space, but it’s been hard when he refuses to help with Emma at night. I’ve asked him multiple times to take turns getting up with her, but he always says he’s too tired or that he has an important game.

Breastfeeding has been particularly difficult. Emma often struggles to latch properly, leading to painful and sometimes cracked nipples. I’ve had mastitis twice already, which leaves me feeling feverish and in intense pain. Despite seeing me in pain, Jake just laughs it off, finding it amusing. He never offers to help during these moments, even though I’m visibly struggling and desperate for support.

One night, after I’d been up with Emma for the third time and Jake was still glued to his computer, I’d had enough. I went into his office and asked him to take over so I could get some sleep. He waved me off, saying he was in the middle of a game and that I should just handle it. He added, "You're on maternity leave and free all day while I have to work, so I need time to relax. You're just sitting around doing nothing all day anyway."

I was exhausted and on the verge of tears. I needed his help, but he was completely dismissive. In a moment of frustration and desperation, I walked over to the router and turned off the Wi-Fi. That's when Jake completely lost it. He stormed out of his office, screaming at me. Apparently, he and his friends were in some sort of online tournament, and they were about to win when I unplugged the Wi-Fi. He called me selfish, irresponsible, and accused me of sabotaging his one form of relaxation.

He went on to say that I had no right to interfere with his "me time" and that I should have just waited until he was done. I calmly explained that I needed his help and that our baby was more important than his game. He refused to listen and continued to berate me, adding that I haven't even been having sex with him and that we've only had sex four times since Emma was born. He accused me of wanting to take everything away from him while doing nothing all day and sitting at home on my ass.

Jake never helps during the day either, even after he finishes work at 5 PM. I don’t expect him to help during work hours, but once he’s off, he should be stepping up as a parent. Instead, he goes straight to his games, leaving me to handle everything alone.

Since then, he’s been sulking around the house, barely speaking to me. To make matters worse, his friends have been sending me nasty messages, calling me a "crazy wife" and saying I’m unreasonable. One of them even suggested that Jake should leave me because I'm "too demanding."

I feel like I’m losing my mind here, just trying to get a bit of support. I’m exhausted, and all I wanted was for Jake to step up and be a parent too. Instead, I’m being painted as the villain for wanting help with our newborn.

AITA?

Edit 1: For those saying why I married him and didn't I know this before, Jake was completely different before Emma was born. He was supportive and understanding. This behavior is new and shocking to me.

Edit 2: To all those calling me the asshole, I am sorry. Your words cut deep, and I feel more hurt than I can express. I didn't turn off the Wi-Fi out of spite or because I couldn't handle my responsibilities; it was a desperate act after feeling completely unsupported and alone. I feel like I'm drowning in guilt and sadness. This time with Emma has been incredibly challenging—I'm constantly exhausted and in pain from breastfeeding. All I do is cry because I feel like such a failure. I just can't anymore.

Jake works hard, and I appreciate him, but his indifference to my struggles makes me feel so isolated. I spend my days and nights in tears, wondering if I'm failing as a mother and a wife. All I've wanted is for us to share the responsibilities of parenting, especially during those late-night feedings and diaper changes that leave me feeling so drained.

I've been struggling with feelings of sadness and guilt, wondering if I'm failing as a mother and a wife. It's not about controlling his downtime; it's about needing his support during this incredibly tough time. I wish you could understand the depth of loneliness and frustration I've been feeling.

Your words about me being selfish and immature hit hard because I've been questioning myself constantly. I never wanted to play the victim or make Jake out to be the bad guy. All I wanted was for us to work together as a team, like we promised each other when we decided to start a family.

I'm sorry if my actions hurt anyone, including Jake and his friends. I was overwhelmed and at my breaking point. I'm trapped in a cycle of guilt, feeling like everything is my fault. I never wanted to hurt anyone; I just don't know how to cope anymore. I'm not trying to be selfish—I'm just trying to survive.

Edit 3: A lot of people are saying I am making breastfeeding a huge deal and millions of moms do it too, but mastitis isn’t just a minor inconvenience—it’s an excruciating, throbbing pain that feels like shards of glass stabbing into my breasts with every suckle. Sometimes, the pain is so intense that I cry silently while Emma feeds and I have to bury my face in a pillow to muffle my cries because Jake has made it clear that my suffering is a nuisance to him. He says he is either working, gaming, or sleeping, so I should not disturb him. And some people are saying that even if this happens to me then wtf should he do here? Do I expect him to grow a breast and feed Emma? But no, I am not expecting him to do that, I just want him to support me. He never offers to help during these moments, even though I’m in tears and desperately in need of support.

Update 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1e1lm8c/update_aita_for_sabotaging_my_husbands_tournament/

Update 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1e1tsx2/update_2_aita_for_sabotaging_my_husbands/

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Peace
There's aso a sub called r/absentgrandparents where breeders bitch and moan because grandparents don't happily choose to be unpaid, on-call babysitters for their children's spawn.

https://www.reddit.com/r/absentgrandparents/

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My longtime boyfriend of 7.5 years and I just had our newborn daughter almost three weeks ago is asking for a paternity test. We met at work. I’m a nurse and he is a surgeon and he is very dedicated to his job. So needless to say he does work a lot. I currently am not working, so I stay home a lot, and he supports us. Throughout our relationship I have been very faithful to him. He, however, has had a few slip ups throughout our 7.5 years. Which I have forgiven him. He has told his OR staff that he asked for a paternity test, which upset me. He says they understand why I would be upset. His rational (sic) is that he doesn’t want to raise a child that he doesn’t know if it’s his 100%. He doesn’t want to find out later on down the road that she’s not his. Like he sees in movies. He just wants to be sure. But then he goes on to say that I’m home all the time by myself since he’s never home and he doesn’t know what I do for sure. Which definitely is a slap in the face to me as I have been the one who has been faithful. If he wants to pay for the paternity test then I’m fine with that. But AITAH for being upset in how he’s trying to rationalize it and make me as if I’m the one who is unfaithful?

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My husband raped me, but am I the asshole here?
AITAH for telling my husband that my doctor knows more than him and refusing to forgive him?
Update - https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/vdD2GpLIfA

Hello everyone. My husband and I have been married for four years and together for six, and this is the very first huge argument we’ve ever had. I (f24) am currently 33 weeks pregnant with his (m31) baby.

When I was 20 weeks pregnant my doctor diagnosed me with placenta previa which if you don’t know is basically when the placenta for my baby is covering the opening in my cervix. They told me it would likely move as my baby grew but it never did.

So I am scheduled for a c section in just three weeks. At 20 weeks I was put on very light restrictions but at 30 I got put on heavier restrictions, like no running, no lifting or climbing, no standing for longer than 3 hours at a time, and most importantly no sex and no vaginal exams. Because my doctor told me that we want absolutely nothing to potentially make me bleed which could lead to preterm birth.

So I have been doing this all for three weeks but it has been driving my husband fucking insane. Every single day he bothers me for sex. Every. Single. Day. Every single day I tell him I can’t, and remind him of the restrictions. I don’t even want to have sex anyway- my tummy is so big and I am always exhausted. He doesn’t really like those answers.

Finally he came to me and started going on about how doctors sometimes “dramatize” things for the sake of “their careers and more money”. He said they push for c sections. I was like okay whatever but I know that I have this condition, obviously I am going to follow the rules. He didn’t take the answer and we ended up having sex.

For a few hours after I was having really heavy bleeding and I got so scared. I was crying in the bathroom, trying to figure out what to do. I ended up calling my doctor and she told me to come in right away. The whole car ride there I was just sobbing, imagining that in a hour I would be having a c section for an only 33 week old baby.

We quickly figured out that I am not in preterm labor, I was just bleeding and as long as it stops it will be okay. It did and I am fine. But while I was there my dr asked my husband to leave and started asking me questions. She asked me if I did anything I wasn’t supposed to do. She was like “this isn’t accusatory, it’s okay, it’s just better to know if it was caused by something or random”. I told her that I had sex. She just went over all the things again and then gave me a bunch of information on domestic violence.

She put them in my purse for me, literally. I was so embarrassed. When we got into the car I broke down and yelled at my husband, telling him to never do that to me again and telling him that my doctor knows more than him and knows what is best for me and the baby. He apologized and I could tell he really meant it. I have still been holding a grudge for days and he’s been groveling for days. He asked me how long I was gonna make him apologize. I told him at least until the baby is born. AITAH for that?