Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives April 28, 2020 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 3,978 |
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AITA for publicly revealing who my biological parents are on Facebook and kind of messing things up for them?
I was given up for adoption when I was a baby by my parents who were 19 years old.
Due to reasons, I was taken from my adoptive parents and put in foster care when I was 11 and remained in the system until I went to college.
When I turned 18, I was given my mother's contact information by someone. I found out she was married to my biological father. They had public profiles on Facebook and Instagram. I ended up messaging my mother who never responded.
I then tried to message my father who basically replied saying that he's sorry but they would rather not have me in their lives. That it took them a while to grieve over giving me up and that they don't want to go through all that pain again.
Well at this point I got pretty pissed because I think it's kind of shitty they think they can prevent me from knowing the rest of my family.
I ended up messaging my grandmother (my mother's mom) who was actually happy to know me. I met her in person and we really bonded.
I also have two younger siblings but I didn't contact them after what my father said.
Well four months ago, I saw my father post of a picture of them at some Church event and say "my beautiful wife and our two amazing kids".
This was on their church Facebook page. This was probably wrong but I replied with a comment saying "Don't you mean three kids?"
I didn't really expect the amount of people responding to that as I did. There were a bunch of people my parents knew that started asking questions. I freaked out and deleted my comment.
Then I started getting dms from people, including people I was related to. Later that day, my grandmother made a post confirming I was a child given up for adoption.
So now, I started making connections with some extended family and have been to a few family parties. My parents have been told they aren't invited unless they accept me which they haven't.
The whole drama has kind of messed with their lives and business. My parents are now apparently separated. I don't really accept that as my fault.
AITA for doing what I did?
Re: Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives April 28, 2020 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 3,576 |
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paragon schnitzophonic
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/g9nhjo/aita_for_publicly_revealing_who_my_biological/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmfQuote
AITA for publicly revealing who my biological parents are on Facebook and kind of messing things up for them?
I was given up for adoption when I was a baby by my parents who were 19 years old.
Due to reasons, I was taken from my adoptive parents and put in foster care when I was 11 and remained in the system until I went to college.
When I turned 18, I was given my mother's contact information by someone. I found out she was married to my biological father. They had public profiles on Facebook and Instagram. I ended up messaging my mother who never responded.
I then tried to message my father who basically replied saying that he's sorry but they would rather not have me in their lives. That it took them a while to grieve over giving me up and that they don't want to go through all that pain again.
Well at this point I got pretty pissed because I think it's kind of shitty they think they can prevent me from knowing the rest of my family.
I ended up messaging my grandmother (my mother's mom) who was actually happy to know me. I met her in person and we really bonded.
I also have two younger siblings but I didn't contact them after what my father said.
Well four months ago, I saw my father post of a picture of them at some Church event and say "my beautiful wife and our two amazing kids".
This was on their church Facebook page. This was probably wrong but I replied with a comment saying "Don't you mean three kids?"
I didn't really expect the amount of people responding to that as I did. There were a bunch of people my parents knew that started asking questions. I freaked out and deleted my comment.
Then I started getting dms from people, including people I was related to. Later that day, my grandmother made a post confirming I was a child given up for adoption.
So now, I started making connections with some extended family and have been to a few family parties. My parents have been told they aren't invited unless they accept me which they haven't.
The whole drama has kind of messed with their lives and business. My parents are now apparently separated. I don't really accept that as my fault.
AITA for doing what I did?
And this is why abortion needs to stay legal and accessible.
Re: Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives April 28, 2020 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,964 |
Re: Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives April 29, 2020 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,059 |
Re: Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives April 29, 2020 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,196 |
Re: Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives April 29, 2020 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 1,978 |
Re: Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives April 29, 2020 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,432 |
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bell_flower
And divorcing over this topic seems strange...perhaps one of them is telling the other if he/she contacts the kid, it's over, which certainly seems controlling.
Re: Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives April 29, 2020 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,059 |
Re: Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives April 29, 2020 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,363 |
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Cambion
I wouldn't do it myself, but I can understand the desire to reach out to your birth parents. However, when they make it clear they don't want anything to do with you, that means you leave them the fuck alone, not make passive aggressive comments on their social media pages that could very easily drive a wedge into their family, which it seems like it did.
Re: Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives April 29, 2020 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,059 |
Re: Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives April 29, 2020 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 3,576 |
Re: Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives April 29, 2020 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,622 |
Re: Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives April 29, 2020 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,059 |
Re: Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives April 30, 2020 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,367 |
Re: Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives April 30, 2020 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 3,978 |
Re: Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives April 30, 2020 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,756 |
Re: Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives May 01, 2020 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 1,978 |
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Entitled Child
"It's really sad," Penn said. "It is very hard for somebody in this time to put their brain back in 1964 in that society. I've never experienced it. But I would hope that whatever happens in that situation that at this point, I would get myself help and I wouldn't take it out on the person I gave birth to."
Re: Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives May 01, 2020 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,363 |
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LoveToLurk
I remember that.Quote
Entitled Child
"It's really sad," Penn said. "It is very hard for somebody in this time to put their brain back in 1964 in that society. I've never experienced it. But I would hope that whatever happens in that situation that at this point, I would get myself help and I wouldn't take it out on the person I gave birth to."
It is sad, but not for the reasons she implies. The bio daughter is the one that needs help. The Bio Mom hasn’t “taken it out” on her, she has simply expressed that she is not interested in a relationship. The bio daughter is the one doing the harassing.
Re: Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives May 01, 2020 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 3,576 |
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kittehpeoples
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LoveToLurk
I remember that.Quote
Entitled Child
"It's really sad," Penn said. "It is very hard for somebody in this time to put their brain back in 1964 in that society. I've never experienced it. But I would hope that whatever happens in that situation that at this point, I would get myself help and I wouldn't take it out on the person I gave birth to."
It is sad, but not for the reasons she implies. The bio daughter is the one that needs help. The Bio Mom hasn’t “taken it out” on her, she has simply expressed that she is not interested in a relationship. The bio daughter is the one doing the harassing.
It's almost as if every one of these birth parent-seeking narcissists believes that every adoption is a mistake, and the "real" parents just need a few years to figure that out and regret it.
Re: Asshole Given Up For Adoption Decides To Blow Up Bioparents Lives May 02, 2020 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,842 |