One of the biggest reasons I would hate parenthood is all the pretending you have to do

What I mean is how much a parent has to act like every single thing their kid does is a world-altering miracle that warrants celebration. And I mean every fucking thing too! Good behavior, shitting in a toilet, doing things expected of them like putting their toys away, the drawing they made at school, the craft project they made you for your birthday, the piss-poor effort they put forth in sports, you name it.

You have to act like everything they do is so goddamn interesting when it almost never truly is. The drawing they made in school is probably a piece of shit that you can't even tell what it's supposed to be. Same story with the gift they made you. Junior used the toilet? Yeah good job doing precisely what's expected of you, come back when you do something that's actually impressive.

I can only bullshit for so long and I know I'd run out of fucks to give very quickly, after which I'd be honest with the kid (translation: lots of crying). But I know they have to do this or else the kid will grow up all fucked up hearing nothing but negativity, and acting like the child's behavior is so awesome is likely better and cheaper than trying to fix a teenage psychopath.

I wouldn't be good at that either.

I sort of feel that 99% of what I and others do at work doesn't merit a compliment. We are just doing our jobs. When my boss compliments me, I'm indifferent to it. If I did something that would actually merit it, I already know, and his compliment adds nothing to my experience, and if I didn't do something extraordinary, I consider it a meaningless statement. However, I know that it is socially expected, so I try to remember to do it.

So yeah, I would be really bad at complimenting things that are genuinely underwhelming, I have a hard enough time remembering to compliment things that are on par with my expectations for adults.

I've no patience for children PERIOD, regardless of how they behave.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

I think a lot of this is the curse that is modern parenting.

Everything is a celebration and everything is a hovering event. "Graduate" from daycare and headed for kindergarten? By all means let's have a party and graduation ceremony. Attend every sports event or extra-curricular activity, hover and praise every little thing.

John Rosemond is a fundy Christian but there is truth in in columns, like "parunting" children versus raising them

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bell_flower
I think a lot of this is the curse that is modern parenting.

Everything is a celebration and everything is a hovering event. "Graduate" from daycare and headed for kindergarten? By all means let's have a party and graduation ceremony. Attend every sports event or extra-curricular activity, hover and praise every little thing.

John Rosemond is a fundy Christian but there is truth in in columns, like "parunting" children versus raising them

My mother was not one to 'attend' every milestone I took part in as an adolescent, although it was often necessary as a sprog as my sped status left me trailing behind the pack and needing genuine protection. I was at least 6 years behind my age mates. However, when I achieved a significant milestone, Mom went all out. One was my graduation at junior high which was my successful mainstreaming into public school. I was the guinea pig of the new mainstreaming system at my school and was the first student for a year to be mainstreamed. Most of the stuff seen in sped education wasn't available. The fact that I succeeded doesn't mean I now approve of such a system. I don't. Another 'all-out' was my graduation from high school. I was the first of my family to graduate, and I was the only disabled student to graduate on the Principle's List with a 4.5 GPA.

My mother was a strong believer in 'behavior modification' or training little brats to behave in a manner that fits in with society. In my case that included ignoring 200 requests for a popsicle for days. I remember those creamsicles that I wanted so much. They were good, for 200 requests a day? Ack!

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

I can sort of get doing it. If you kiss the kid's ass when they do well, maybe they'll learn to associate good behavior with good treatment and will hopefully continue to behave in exchange for happy fee-fees.

The issue arises later on when they will expect praise for every little thing like a dog waiting for a treat after doing a trick. At some point, the good behavior becomes expected behavior and I have a feeling when everyone doesn't throw them a fucking party for showing up to work or turning in their homework or washing a couple dishes, they'll just decide to not bother doing those things anymore because there is no personal payoff.