Not exactly CF, but a study on Idiots who can't or won't break from their own parents

This was a 'dear carolyn hax'. her response was good. sometimes marrying a mamas boy means you can boss your hubby around but it can backfire..
'Dear Carolyn: My in-laws are on the sleazy side and I wish my husband would stand up to them, but if he won't, I will. Their business got in some trouble years ago and to get quick cash they committed identity fraud and opened up credit in my husband's name. We didn't find out until it caused major headaches for us when we were buying a new car. They apologized with a flood of crocodile tears and how their backs were against the wall yadda yadda. That mess also delayed us buying a house for years.
They climbed out of their financial difficulty and offered us cash to make up for what they did (we refused), but I cannot forgive them for all the trouble they caused us.
Our children are 4 and 6 now, and my in-laws want their Social Security numbers to start bank accounts for them. I've put my foot down since this would be asking for trouble. My husband says this is traditional for grandparents to do in his family, we are hurting their feelings, and I need to "forgive and forget."
It's true I haven't forgiven them, but that's not why I'm holding firm on this issue. My husband says we can give the information to them and monitor our kids' accounts. Why not head that problem off? Isn't giving them this info a terrible idea?'
response:
'Yes, it’s a terrible, terrible idea. Horrible.

Zillions of grands manage to be generous with their grandkids without their Social Security numbers. You open the accounts yourself and steer gifts there.

The bigger issue is that your husband is still enmeshed with parents who stole from you. There’s work to do there, which you obviously know, but it’s also fair of you to say he needs to do that work before you’ll agree to anything regarding his parents. “Hurting their feelings”? Egads. I’m sorry.'

Monitoring the kids accounts doesn't mean squat. Hubby is a baby boy kissing their ass. Unless they have something like lifelock, and monitor EVERYTHING pertaining to their kids SS numbers, asshold grands could open accounts and they would nothing. Aside from marrying the wrong person, moo is right for saying 'no'.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

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I see trouble rumbling down the road with this family.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

Hax's advice was spot on.

But she should have mentioned this explicitly: the in-laws are clearly ready to find new identity fraud victims. Using children for this has been a problem in recent years, ever since federal rules required getting kids a Social Security number to be able to claim them as dependents. The kids don't find out what was done with their identities until they're 18 and learn of judgements against them and bad credit scores. Most perps are family members.

Oh I'm sure that people with a history of identity fraud only have the kids' best interests in mind when asking for their social security numbers. Of course Duh wants to forgive and forget, he's already had his shit ruined and Moo is too smart to let them do it to her, so they figure they can play innocent to score two new names to steal.

If they want to start savings accounts for the kids, they don't need their socials. They can just make accounts in their own names and give it to the kids when they turn 18 or whenever. Or they can give the kids' parents checks to deposit in savings accounts for the kids.

I suspect Duh will just provide his parents with the kids' SSNs behind Moo's back because his parents are pulling the strings and all three of them are likely convinced Moo is just being a mean bitch. That's some serious grooming they've done if they fucking stole their son's identity and he's perfectly fine with it. He'll make all the excuses in the world for them no matter what they do.

Oh man, Cambion. I hadn't thought about Sonny Boy going behind his wife's back to give them the info. That would be divorce time right there.

Hax is right. They are not to be trusted. If you want to be polite, say, "Thanks for thinking of our kids, we've got accounts set up at XYZ Bank, here's how you can deposit directly into them!" Or go old school and have the grands write checks to the kids.

I bet the sleazy grandparents want to open up credit cards under those social security numbers. They committed identity fraud previously, they will do it again.

wonder if duh does go behind her back and give the slezeballs the SS of their kids if moo will finally dump him.
one of the reasons for some of these idiot women to marry mamas boys is they can manipulate them to a certain degree. however, in cases like this, it backfires.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

I have to laugh every single time I hear a parunt or grandparunt got Crotchford a SSN.

Hell I got my SSN right before I got my first job at the age of 17.

Guess what?

That is pretty much the only reason you need an SSN; for employment.

Any other reason needs to be looked as suspect.

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selidororous
I have to laugh every single time I hear a parunt or grandparunt got Crotchford a SSN.

Hell I got my SSN right before I got my first job at the age of 17.

Guess what?

That is pretty much the only reason you need an SSN; for employment.

Any other reason needs to be looked as suspect.

Since the mid–1980s the feds have required parents to have SSNs for children to get the income tax deduction for dependents. And it gets worse. Some parents distrust the government and did not get SSNs for their kids. As adults those kids now cannot easily get SSNs on their own. The feds look upon such people with suspicion. One notorious case involved two sisters in Kentucky who fought a long court battle to be able to get their numbers.

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selidororous
I have to laugh every single time I hear a parunt or grandparunt got Crotchford a SSN.

Hell I got my SSN right before I got my first job at the age of 17.

Guess what?

That is pretty much the only reason you need an SSN; for employment.

Any other reason needs to be looked as suspect.

I came with an SSN when I was adopted at 2 and a half, but I had a long complicated adoption (adopted twice, abused severely enough for a 10 month hospitalization and spent time in foster care).

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

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Since the mid–1980s the feds have required parents to have SSNs for children to get the income tax deduction for dependents

Because parents were cheating the system. The tax code used to be vague enough that you could actually claim the deduction for a year in which the female had a miscarriage. (Learned in a taxation class two decades ago. Hopefully that loophole has been closed.)

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selidororous
Hell I got my SSN right before I got my first job at the age of 17.

I got mine at 16. When the SSN cards came in the mail, we'd take them to school and show them off to our friends.

But that's not the point. My father talked quite a bit about small businesses who opened bank accounts in their kids' names and put all their business income there so they'd have to pay much lower federal taxes, or no taxes at all. This was one of the reasons that the Feds required toddlers and babies to get SSN, to stop fraud.

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Peace

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selidororous
Hell I got my SSN right before I got my first job at the age of 17.

I got mine at 16. When the SSN cards came in the mail, we'd take them to school and show them off to our friends.

But that's not the point. My father talked quite a bit about small businesses who opened bank accounts in their kids' names and put all their business income there so they'd have to pay much lower federal taxes, or no taxes at all. This was one of the reasons that the Feds required toddlers and babies to get SSN, to stop fraud.

I got mine when I was born (early 80s). I had no idea it was ever any different. The more you know, I guess.

When I was a kid, if any family members wanted to give me money they would just write a check with my name on it and my mother would deposit it in my savings account. I’m not sure why these family members think they should have access to the kid’s SSN. I was always taught to keep that number a secret.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

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When I was a kid, if any family members wanted to give me money they would just write a check with my name on it and my mother would deposit it in my savings account.

That's how normal people do things. These grandparents are likely up to no good and the woman has a limp dick/enabler for a husband. She should have left him when he didn't stand up to his parents the first time, but she bred two kids with him.

ETA: There used to be something called the Uniform Gifts to Minors Act that allowed parents to put assets in their kids' names and avoid paying taxes on gains, or pay at the 15% rate. The law was changed in 1986 to remove a lot of the benefits. My mom actually did this and I found out about it one year when I worked a Summer job and owed income taxes.