Dr. Whora slams Serial Breeders

There are some things I do not like about her, but I love it when Dr. Whora hands selfish serial Breeders their asses and asks them to actually consider how their kids might feel about a particular situation.

The other day some Moo called in with a 14 year old daughter. You could just tell she was aggrieved with her kid and when Whora probed, the Moo revealed she was divorced and the kid was going back and forth between her house and the kid's father's house. Moo was saying she and NewHusband did not want the daughter to have a phone at all, but the kid's father was not enforcing this position and other things that sounded kind of minor.

Dr. Laura probed more and it turns out, this Moo was remarried and had cranked out THREE MORE KIDS with husband #2. Dr. Laura was like, look, you called me to fix this situation, but how am I supposed to "fix" your daughter? You divorced her father and bred THREE MORE KIDS with another guy. Now she gets to watch you raise your second set of kids (who get to stay home) while she is traveling between two houses. So go ahead and pick at her and take her phone away. She also asked Moo if she ever spent time with her daughter, and how she could possibly do that when her daughter now has to go through one husband and three other kids to get this Moo's attention.

The Moo was pretty much stunned and said, "you're right." The kid's father was not remarried and the Moo said he was a caring parent and Dr. Whora said, then allow her to live there full time. At least she will have a parent who pays attention to her.

I really felt for this kid. After my father died, my mom married a drunken asshole who had FOUR fucked up kids from a previous marriage. (He had essentially abandoned them.) When his kids came to visit there was a lot of jealousy from his daughters. Although they should not have been jealous, because not having to live with him would have been a BLESSING, I can now understand their point of view. My mom also insisted that I transfer schools my junior year of high school because this asshole wanted to take an out of state job and my life was further disrupted. Although I was a good student, I was seen as the "problem" in the family when I pointed out both he and my mom were drunk assholes.

Breeders call CF the selfish, but watch the justifications regarding their own selfish behavior when dragging their kids through their serial relationships so they can be "fulfilled." I get it that some marriages fail, but if the parents created kids, they should suck it up and raise the kids they chose to have. Statistics show that stepfamily relationships have more strife, and kids are more likely to be abused by step parents. Daughters are particularly vulnerable to stepfather sexual abuse.

But that would require actually thinking prior to marriage and breeding and we know they don't do that.

Sorry you had to deal with that, Bellflower.

Parents do all kinds of shit without considering how it might affect their kids. They don't understand having kids means you give up the right to put your own desires first while you are raising them.

My example is mild compared to yours, but it was still a problem. When I was growing up Mom insisted on moving to a different house every few years. People have asked if we were a military family when I've told them how many times we moved. We were not. A couple times we moved out of state for Dad's job, although he did not have to go work somewhere else temporarily and might not have without Mom's influence. At least once we moved purely because of Mom's craziness. While we were moving the stress would make her super angry and bitchy and she would yell constantly. I'm sure it never occurred to her I might have needed the stability of staying in one place for a while. I didn't know it at the time either, but she should have.

I'm alright with teens with flip phones with VERY FEW FEATURES but I'm afraid I'm with this Moo when it comes to smartphones. I also think that teens should only use computers with DIRECT parental attention and ONLY for homework.

However, I do think that Dr. Laura is right about this Moo being a neglectful useless breeder. The three other children had no business coming into the world and three abortions would have solved much of this problem.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

I think moos and duhs, once single, mostly love their kids and probably consider them #1 in their lives, unless they have an addiction. Once a potential moo/duh replacement enters the life of a single moo/duh then a rotten moo/duh will put this person first.

I would guess the percentage of single moos and duhs who aren't addicted and are able to balance their relationships with their kids and also have a healthy dating relationship is rare. There are over 87 million search results for single parents with addictions. And a link indicates 12% are addicts (https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/parentalsubabuse.pdf) and that is just for the ones that are known. Plenty of functional addicts out there who likely managed to not be included in the 12%.

This link states 25% of US kids grow up in homes of alcoholics, so the 12% is likely a low ball estimate: https://www.narconon.org/blog/what-children-learn-when-they-grow-up-with-addicts-for-parents.html

And 21% of children in the US live below the poverty threshold (source:http://www.nccp.org/topics/childpoverty.html) and 43% more live in low-income families. The only positive I've ever seen come out of poverty is when the kids suffer so much they become child-free or they consciously build up a substantial safety nest before having children to avoid poverty.

A baby born in the US today has:
21% chance of living in poverty
43% chance of living low-income
(or 64% chance of a bad start in poverty or low-income)
12-24% chance of living with an addict
23% chance of living with a single parent

I agree that kids often pay the price for their parents' serial breeding. I am all in favor of parents having lives, hobbies, friends, etc because that's modeling a healthy balance for your kid. BUT your social life (including dating life) should not disrupt your kid's life. That goes double for dating life.

This is just about the only area where I agree with Dr. Laura. She tells serial breeders exactly how it is and does not mince words.

The phone thing...I'm not sure where I stand on it, but wow I'm glad those weren't a thing when I was a teenager. I guess having a phone is okay for older teens because they are (or should be) more independent and are old enough to be involved in sports, scouting, clubs, etc. My own parents expected some communication pre-cell phone days. I also think parents should require their kid's password as part of the deal, with the right to check their kids' phone if there's cause for really serious concern (drug abuse, bullying, missing kid, sketchy stuff). BUT fortunately my opinions don't matter a whole lot and I don't ever have to deal with that whole thing. Thank god.

But yeah, serial breeders don't give much thought to what happens to their kids in the next relationship.