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Birth Control Sabotage Exists
Posted by twocents
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Birth Control Sabotage Exists June 22, 2020 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,842 |
An article from The Atlantic, February 2, 2016
He Sabotaged the Birth Control'
From the latest contributor to our ever-evolving series on abortion:
I had my first abortion in my early 20s (this was in the 1980s). My fiancé and I had just graduated from a prestigious college and were looking for our first serious career-type jobs. My doctor changed my prescription, and that first month on the new lower-dose pill, I got pregnant. The doctor questioned me closely, saying I “must have done something wrong,” but when it was clear I had followed his directions exactly, he finally said “well, that shouldn’t have happened.”
My fiancé was shocked—a failure in birth control had never occurred to him—but supportive. I knew I would have an abortion because I’d thought about the issue back before I became sexually active in college. He agreed this was not the right time for either of us.
A few years later, when we were married, he insisted he wanted a divorce. He was unhappy with his life overall, had decided that he was bisexual, or maybe gay—definitely not monogamous—and didn’t want to be tied down.
But he said he wanted a baby, before we got divorced.
He thought a child might be what was missing in his life and might make him happy. Incredulous, I told him there’s no way I’d have a baby under our current circumstances, just because he “might” like it.
So he sabotaged the birth control. After one of the rare occasions we were still having sex, he told me “the condom must have fallen off and I didn’t notice.” I was naive and took him at his word. Because there was no morning-after pill in those days, so I just used more foam and hoped for the best.
It was years later before I had enough life experience to realize: men know when they’re wearing a condom. It doesn’t slip off and you don’t notice, any more than you lose a shoe and don’t notice. He either intentionally removed it, or it came off accidentally-on-purpose, and he chose not to say anything.
I did get pregnant. He was furious: “You can’t have an abortion, we’re married, that’s not fair to me.” I pointed out that he’d been pushing for a divorce for months, our marriage had failed, and I wouldn’t bring a child into this situation—period.
I went alone to the doctor’s office, taking a taxi because he refused to drive me. Fortunately during these times I lived in an urban area in a state that had plenty of clinics and medical facilities, and I had the money to pay for “optional” health care like abortions.
End of story: we got divorced. I finished grad school and build a great career. Along the way I met a wonderful man and have been happily married with a family for many years now. If I had been a divorced mom with a baby, I wouldn’t have been able to finish graduate school, would not have met my future husband, would not have my career, would not have my life as it is today.
two cents ¢¢
CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!
people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong
Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.
The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.
Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke
Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.
He Sabotaged the Birth Control'
From the latest contributor to our ever-evolving series on abortion:
I had my first abortion in my early 20s (this was in the 1980s). My fiancé and I had just graduated from a prestigious college and were looking for our first serious career-type jobs. My doctor changed my prescription, and that first month on the new lower-dose pill, I got pregnant. The doctor questioned me closely, saying I “must have done something wrong,” but when it was clear I had followed his directions exactly, he finally said “well, that shouldn’t have happened.”
My fiancé was shocked—a failure in birth control had never occurred to him—but supportive. I knew I would have an abortion because I’d thought about the issue back before I became sexually active in college. He agreed this was not the right time for either of us.
A few years later, when we were married, he insisted he wanted a divorce. He was unhappy with his life overall, had decided that he was bisexual, or maybe gay—definitely not monogamous—and didn’t want to be tied down.
But he said he wanted a baby, before we got divorced.
He thought a child might be what was missing in his life and might make him happy. Incredulous, I told him there’s no way I’d have a baby under our current circumstances, just because he “might” like it.
So he sabotaged the birth control. After one of the rare occasions we were still having sex, he told me “the condom must have fallen off and I didn’t notice.” I was naive and took him at his word. Because there was no morning-after pill in those days, so I just used more foam and hoped for the best.
It was years later before I had enough life experience to realize: men know when they’re wearing a condom. It doesn’t slip off and you don’t notice, any more than you lose a shoe and don’t notice. He either intentionally removed it, or it came off accidentally-on-purpose, and he chose not to say anything.
I did get pregnant. He was furious: “You can’t have an abortion, we’re married, that’s not fair to me.” I pointed out that he’d been pushing for a divorce for months, our marriage had failed, and I wouldn’t bring a child into this situation—period.
I went alone to the doctor’s office, taking a taxi because he refused to drive me. Fortunately during these times I lived in an urban area in a state that had plenty of clinics and medical facilities, and I had the money to pay for “optional” health care like abortions.
End of story: we got divorced. I finished grad school and build a great career. Along the way I met a wonderful man and have been happily married with a family for many years now. If I had been a divorced mom with a baby, I wouldn’t have been able to finish graduate school, would not have met my future husband, would not have my career, would not have my life as it is today.
two cents ¢¢
CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!
people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong
Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.
The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.
Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke
Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.
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Re: Birth Control Sabotage Exists June 22, 2020 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 3,573 |
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Re: Birth Control Sabotage Exists June 22, 2020 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,962 |
I don't know what the asshole was expecting. She didn't want kids - did he think she'd just magically melt into a quivering pile of hormones when the stick turned blue after she protected herself against pregnancy? It's like being happy that you have insurance and still have to pay for a doctor's appointment 100% out of pocket.
And oh boo hoo, her aborting his fucktrophy was unfair to him, but impregnating her against her will through contraceptive sabotage was fair to her? Dafuq's this prick smoking?
She had an abortion before, so clearly she had no problem getting another one. He thought he wasn't straight, but wanted a kid before divorcing. WHY? He'd be on the line for child support! Doesn't mean she would have gotten it, but isn't brat support something most men try to avoid?
Glad to hear she had enough brains to not bring a kid into that clusterfuck because her retarded husband might want one. Most women still seem to think that getting pregnant means staying pregnant.
At the very very least, when the man is the oopser, the woman can still fix the problem, as seen in this case. When the woman is the oopser, the guy is fucked. Not to mention how fucked up it is that anyone would think it's a good idea to make a clearly unwilling person have a child. In what way would that have a good outcome for anyone involved?
I hope the asshole husband is gay because then he hopefully won't knock anyone else up.
And oh boo hoo, her aborting his fucktrophy was unfair to him, but impregnating her against her will through contraceptive sabotage was fair to her? Dafuq's this prick smoking?
She had an abortion before, so clearly she had no problem getting another one. He thought he wasn't straight, but wanted a kid before divorcing. WHY? He'd be on the line for child support! Doesn't mean she would have gotten it, but isn't brat support something most men try to avoid?
Glad to hear she had enough brains to not bring a kid into that clusterfuck because her retarded husband might want one. Most women still seem to think that getting pregnant means staying pregnant.
At the very very least, when the man is the oopser, the woman can still fix the problem, as seen in this case. When the woman is the oopser, the guy is fucked. Not to mention how fucked up it is that anyone would think it's a good idea to make a clearly unwilling person have a child. In what way would that have a good outcome for anyone involved?
I hope the asshole husband is gay because then he hopefully won't knock anyone else up.
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Re: Birth Control Sabotage Exists June 22, 2020 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,362 |
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Cambion
I don't know what the asshole was expecting. She didn't want kids - did he think she'd just magically melt into a quivering pile of hormones when the stick turned blue after she protected herself against pregnancy?
I'm not sure he thought beyond, "I am man, I want baby, I make baby!!" At least she had the sense/fortitude/self-respect to abort so she could have or not have children on her own timeline, not his...considering she was still fucking somebody who said he wanted to divorce her and/or cheat on her, that could have gone either way.
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Re: Birth Control Sabotage Exists June 22, 2020 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 3,573 |
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Cambion
I hope the asshole husband is gay because then he hopefully won't knock anyone else up.
Getting women pregnant doesn't require a man be straight. It requires a man who wants a taste of power over another human being. It is similar to rape.
+++++++++++++
Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!
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Re: Birth Control Sabotage Exists June 23, 2020 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,842 |
crazyzits, I think she had an abortion the first and second time with the jerk.
She ended up with someone else and a family, seems to work, but she made the statement that if she had had a baby should would not have been able to do x,y, and z. So, husband #2 was the one she made a family with, for better or worse.
two cents ¢¢
CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!
people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong
Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.
The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.
Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke
Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.
She ended up with someone else and a family, seems to work, but she made the statement that if she had had a baby should would not have been able to do x,y, and z. So, husband #2 was the one she made a family with, for better or worse.
two cents ¢¢
CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!
people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong
Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.
The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.
Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke
Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.
|
Re: Birth Control Sabotage Exists June 23, 2020 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 3,573 |
Quote
twocents
crazyzits, I think she had an abortion the first and second time with the jerk.
She ended up with someone else and a family, seems to work, but she made the statement that if she had had a baby should would not have been able to do x,y, and z. So, husband #2 was the one she made a family with, for better or worse.
Nods, although I am an extinctionist and don't believe families SHOULD be made. Ever.
+++++++++++++
Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!
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Re: Birth Control Sabotage Exists June 23, 2020 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,367 |
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Re: Birth Control Sabotage Exists June 23, 2020 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,621 |
Quote
kman
He wanted a divorce, but then wanted her to have a child first? Huh? I want some of whatever he was smoking.
Maybe was dealing with his sexuality as he claimed, maybe not. The divorce thing casts a different light. 100 percent control freak. Two different ways to manipulate her (threat of divorce, parenthood bargaining chip), and he deployed both at once so he could use one to leverage the other and vice versa.
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Re: Birth Control Sabotage Exists June 24, 2020 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,362 |
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randomcfchick
Quote
kman
He wanted a divorce, but then wanted her to have a child first? Huh? I want some of whatever he was smoking.
Maybe was dealing with his sexuality as he claimed, maybe not. The divorce thing casts a different light. 100 percent control freak. Two different ways to manipulate her (threat of divorce, parenthood bargaining chip), and he deployed both at once so he could use one to leverage the other and vice versa.
I got the impression he wanted to hurry and get a kid out of her before he hooked up with a guy/producing a child got a lot more complicated.
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