"I Do Not Like Being a Mother" Psychology Today article

This article is from 2013. I don't remember that we ever discussed it.

For once the writer doesn't try to wrap it up with the "it's all wooooooorth it' bow.

The comments are gold.

Again, it's not hard to figure out the actual nature of being with a child 24/7. You are tied to a small human who is completely dependent upon you for years. It changes one's life FOREVER. You will never wake up another day when you aren't wondering, where is the brat?

Why these women cannot figure it out beforehand is beyond me. I guess they don't see/listen to the experience of others or they tell themselves it will be Different With Their Own^TM.

A lot of people don't like being parents, but because they're afraid of being judged, they lie and say they love it.

Most kids are accidents, and the ones that are intentional are planned under this rosy, romanticized fantasy. I can almost get why the idea of making a loaf seems so appealing to some people. Creating an entirely new human being is as close to talent or a superpower as lame average people can get, and doing it with a person you love just makes it sound like a storybook. Then you feel all special and get all kinds of attention when you're pregnant and suddenly no one expects anything of you except to get fat and a lot of people are willing to fuss over you because of your "delicate" condition.

That is where the romance ends. Then there is the carnage that is childbirth where you expel every possible bodily fluid in front of an entire room of hospital staff, tear your genitals apart completely and then you get sent home with this screaming pile of flesh that you have no idea what to do with. People think their days will just be filled with giggly chubby babies that eat and sleep perfectly and never ever cry.

Plus, parenting isn't like some other kinds of hard work where there's a worthwhile payoff, either mental or financial. It's not like Habitat for Humanity where you bust your ass building a house and someone sobs tears of joy because they have a place to live. It's not like rehabilitating a sick animal where you make it better and either watch it flourish in captivity or get to set it free. It's not like being a surgeon where you slave over someone's unconscious cut-up body for hours and hours and get to tell their family that they won't have to arrange a funeral after all. Kids are ungrateful assholes and your reward for raising them is doors slammed in your face, selfish behavior, zero listening, screaming, arguing and multiple daily choruses of "I HATE YOU!"

Kids are soul-sucking bastards and they aren't worth it in the slightest. I think the only parents who don't murder their kids do so out of some kind of maternal Stockholm syndrome and/or masochism. If kids were so wonderful, why do parents literally jump for joy on the first day of school every year? Why do they see a significant uptick in their happiness level when the kids leave the nest? Not a coincidence.

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bell_flower
This article is from 2013. I don't remember that we ever discussed it.

For once the writer doesn't try to wrap it up with the "it's all wooooooorth it' bow.

The comments are gold.

Again, it's not hard to figure out the actual nature of being with a child 24/7. You are tied to a small human who is completely dependent upon you for years. It changes one's life FOREVER. You will never wake up another day when you aren't wondering, where is the brat?

Why these women cannot figure it out beforehand is beyond me. I guess they don't see/listen to the experience of others or they tell themselves it will be Different With Their Own^TM.

The majority of Moos are actually brain-damaged, and the damage is down the first inch from the surface of the brain. Therefore, they are incapable of complex thought or in some cases even remembering to take a tablet once a day. This is from the constant bombardment of chemicals in their environment from the micro-plastic they ingest to the industrial chemicals they breathe. The boffins will examine each chemical individually, but not all the chemicals together, and the problems come about when chemicals interact.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

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bell_flower
Again, it's not hard to figure out the actual nature of being with a child 24/7. You are tied to a small human who is completely dependent upon you for years. It changes one's life FOREVER. You will never wake up another day when you aren't wondering, where is the brat?

Why these women cannot figure it out beforehand is beyond me. I guess they don't see/listen to the experience of others or they tell themselves it will be Different With Their Own^TM.

There is no fucking excuse for thinking you can have a child and your life won't change in any negative way. None. Even the ones who envision parenthood as a strung-together series of Kodak moments are admitting their life will be different...for the better!^TM So they're clearly capable of understanding that children=change. There's no excuse for people who somehow think they are going to be the ones who figure it out and "get away with" having children AND a normal life. They're just...willful idiots.

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bell_flower
This article is from 2013. I don't remember that we ever discussed it.

I don't think so either. There is way too much honesty here and the honesty we usually see is very sporadic and usually includes the quick save qualifier.

For once the writer doesn't try to wrap it up with the "it's all wooooooorth it' bow.

The comments are gold.

I don't think so either. There is way too much honesty here and the honesty we usually see is very sporadic and usually includes the quick save qualifier. I really hope fence-sitters are paying attention to this honesty.

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bell_flower
Again, it's not hard to figure out the actual nature of being with a child 24/7. You are tied to a small human who is completely dependent upon you for years. It changes one's life FOREVER. You will never wake up another day when you aren't wondering, where is the brat?

Why these women cannot figure it out beforehand is beyond me. I guess they don't see/listen to the experience of others or they tell themselves it will be Different With Their Own^TM.

Exactly. This isn't the childfree commenting, these are mothers who regret having children. Please take them seriously fence-sitters. You can always babysit a child or two for a entire month to see if it suits you. Probably best to babysit an infant (to understand reality) and a mother would greatly appreciate it. Beyond that, kids and their dispositions are a gamble.

If you don't think it is for you ask yourself, is dealing with some harassment from strangers or relatives about having kids enough to make you live through this kind of daily misery for 20 years? Because there will always be someone who harasses you for your life choices, no matter what they are. At least you can walk away from these jerks.

Society needs to stop making having kids the default before anything will change. Despite advances in women's rights and autonomy, society still stigmatizes the crap out of CF women. Year after year it's the same thing about the neglected and starving children in the U.S., and how moms are stressed out and parenting is so hard but Becky over there with her tubes tied and her two cats must be miserable, will die alone, is selfish etc etc.

Too many people are making too many humans. It benefits the select few who run everything so of course they are going to keep pumping out the propaganda about how having a famblee is "what everyone does" (you don't want to be a weirdo, do you??), is the path to happiness, is the unselfish thing to do, and so on. COVID has really highlighted how much people don't even like being around their own kids for periods of time.

I think really, few people actually like kids and an even smaller number of those have the maturity and planning skills to raise one. Unfortunately the mainstream idea is that we all must do it, which is absolutely insane. This woman was a lawyer FFS and is now a SAHM. I'm pretty sure that if she is miserable so is her husband and likely her kids aren't the most well-adjusted either.

It amazes me how many people legitimately seem to think parenthood is just life like before, only with a stroller. Nothing you do or read will prepare you for how much parenthood fucking SUCKS and how much it changes every aspect of your life forever and many, many Moos over on BreakingMom alone have admitted as much.

Being a parent is none of the positive things people say it is. It's not worthwhile, it's not fun, it's not selfless, it's not a blessing - it's all lies. But if people knew the real truth about being parents, nobody would do it anymore and that would eliminate millions of potential soldiers/voters/taxpayers, so humans have to be tricked into breeding by being convinced that it's a good thing or a typical expectation of adulthood. Some people are wise to this bullshit and don't reproduce, but more impressionable morons will buy into it hook, line and sinker.

But this is why I like that unhappy Moos will spill their guts online under the veil of anonymity - people can find out just how awful it is and if it prevents even one person who was considering having kids from having them, then every single moo, whine, moan, groan, and bitch spewed forth from the keyboards of mommies will be worth it.

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Society needs to stop making having kids the default before anything will change.

< snip >
Too many people are making too many humans.

I have been musing exactly this concept, that zero children needs to be the default, after I read that horrible thread about that Moo who shacked up with her new BF and put her young son into a dog cage and tortured him to death.

If I would have been unable to avoid having children, would I have put them in a dog cage and tortured them? Unlikely, since I take spiders outside because I don't like hurting any living thing. If the rest of my life is an indication, I would have bucked up and did a decent job, but I'm glad I didn't have to find out. Nobody should be raising children because they Feel They Have To^TM or they Owe a Debt to Society^TM or simply because they couldn't get access to BC, including termination.

Sentencing someone to a life on this rock as the default position seems so wrong.

In every population there are going to be evil, sadistic and just plain shit/junk people and our pronatalist society reinforces the problem and the continuation of it. And let's remember, each and every one of these evil shits probably thought they would be great parents. Even these Moos who are complaining all day on Reddit admit to bingoing the Hell out of friends and acquaintances and lying their asses off about how great it all is.

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Despite advances in women's rights and autonomy, society still stigmatizes the crap out of CF women. Year after year it's the same thing about the neglected and starving children in the U.S., and how moms are stressed out and parenting is so hard but Becky over there with her tubes tied and her two cats must be miserable, will die alone, is selfish etc etc. eye rolling smiley

Preach it, sister. The Beckys of the world or anyone else who says he/she doesn't wants kids should be supported (can you imagine if we got 1/10 of the support all these Moos do?) or at the very least, left the fuck alone to live their lives.

Statistically, kids are most likely to be harmed by THEIR VERY OWN MOOS AND DUDS, but people cannot stop harping on those evil CF.
I don't know how it all got so fucked up.

The GOP are actively working to remove a women's choice from her first by stripping abortion as an option and you can bet your last dollar they will go after birth control. I include condoms on that list and to Hell with any person using them for off label medical purposes. The GOP are making it not possible to vote by knee capping the USPS and closing voting stations all over the nation.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

The big problem with Moos is this:

They are originally in love with the idea of being a Moo. And in love with the idea of having crotchfruit.

As soon as reality kicked them in their big asses though.....

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selidororous
The big problem with Moos is this:

They are originally in love with the idea of being a Moo. And in love with the idea of having crotchfruit.

As soon as reality kicked them in their big asses though.....

...their wind sock snatches sang the blues.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!