Neither do parents have to legally support grown children October 02, 2020 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,842 |
Re: Neither do parents have to legally support grown children October 02, 2020 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,059 |
Re: Neither do parents have to legally support grown children October 02, 2020 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 1,978 |
Re: Neither do parents have to legally support grown children October 03, 2020 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 2,217 |
Re: Neither do parents have to legally support grown children October 03, 2020 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,196 |
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It is totally insane to me, for a few reasons: 1) what is wrong with these adults that they want to be supported - in their adulthood - by their parents?, and 2) why is this so normalized now, that parents are allowing this? In my own case, I have advanced degrees and have still taken low paying jobs when I've been otherwise unemployed because I hate not working and I'm an able-bodied adult so why not work?
Re: Neither do parents have to legally support grown children October 03, 2020 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,367 |
Re: Neither do parents have to legally support grown children October 03, 2020 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,964 |
Re: Neither do parents have to legally support grown children October 03, 2020 | Registered: 7 years ago Posts: 651 |
Re: Neither do parents have to legally support grown children October 03, 2020 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 3,576 |
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Ketchup
It is totally insane to me, for a few reasons: 1) what is wrong with these adults that they want to be supported - in their adulthood - by their parents?, and 2) why is this so normalized now, that parents are allowing this? In my own case, I have advanced degrees and have still taken low paying jobs when I've been otherwise unemployed because I hate not working and I'm an able-bodied adult so why not work?
Re: Neither do parents have to legally support grown children October 05, 2020 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,708 |
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craftyzits
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Ketchup
It is totally insane to me, for a few reasons: 1) what is wrong with these adults that they want to be supported - in their adulthood - by their parents?, and 2) why is this so normalized now, that parents are allowing this? In my own case, I have advanced degrees and have still taken low paying jobs when I've been otherwise unemployed because I hate not working and I'm an able-bodied adult so why not work?
Even WITH work many adults find themselves unable to afford rent for their own place. Even with roommates it is too expensive.
Re: Neither do parents have to legally support grown children October 05, 2020 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,708 |
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bell_flower
When I was that age I had to be resourceful. My friends and I went to happy hours for dinner. I'm not much of a drinker, but the food was free. Dinner was that or sometimes noodles or tuna or pre-packaged food. I watched the local grocery store for the "10 for $10" sales on canned food. I did not have a lot but I ate okay, dressed okay, etc. I had enough to get by.
Re: Neither do parents have to legally support grown children October 05, 2020 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,964 |
Re: Neither do parents have to legally support grown children October 05, 2020 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 3,576 |
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freya
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craftyzits
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Ketchup
It is totally insane to me, for a few reasons: 1) what is wrong with these adults that they want to be supported - in their adulthood - by their parents?, and 2) why is this so normalized now, that parents are allowing this? In my own case, I have advanced degrees and have still taken low paying jobs when I've been otherwise unemployed because I hate not working and I'm an able-bodied adult so why not work?
Even WITH work many adults find themselves unable to afford rent for their own place. Even with roommates it is too expensive.
I've known adults who shared a large house (in Seattle proper) and were all making minimum wage or close. They split the rent, each had a bedroom and did fine. Some had cars and some didn't. House was a bit run down as expected. Because their bills were so low they all had some spending money.
Many people I knew lived this way in their 20's. It was typical.
Re: Neither do parents have to legally support grown children October 05, 2020 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 3,576 |
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Cambion
I'm willing to sympathize in some cases because some parents infantilize their kids well into adulthood because they want to mommy fully grown adults forever in order to be validated. Other parents will do their best to sabotage their kids' efforts to be independent, lest the kids become more successful than their parents.
I'm one such case, which is a story I've told here more than enough. I didn't know how to do jack shit until college because I wasn't allowed to to anything in my childhood. Wasn't allowed to do chores like folding clothes or dusting, wasn't allowed to cook, wasn't allowed to shower on my own until I was 12, wasn't allowed to do laundry, I wasn't even allowed to do my own homework until I was 15 and put up a fight over it. My mother got mad at me when she learned I knew how to pump my own gas at the age of 23.
But then I'd get told how dumb I was for not just intrinsically knowing how to do all those things. If I attempted to learn on my own, she'd stop me and tell me I was too dumb to do whatever I was doing. Basically I would be wrong no matter what. I was set up for failure because she wanted to swoop in and save me from my own stupidity so she could look like a model parent. In spite of her efforts to keep me dependent, I managed to figure out all the stuff I should have been taught had she been a competent parent.
I still can't afford to move out, but in all fairness, the only reason I can't afford to live is because of my mother's poor decisions, so those chickens coming home to roost are kinda her own damn fault. It sucks because I know at a glance, I just look like a lazy freeloader millennial and I'm thoroughly ashamed, but in reality, I would love nothing more than to have my own place with nothing to my name except a curbside couch and a bunch of mismatched thrift store dishes. I just can't. Like I even got professional advice on budgeting and debt management and was told there was absolutely no way I could make it work.
As much as I don't want to make myself out to be the special snowflake exception, there is definitely a difference between failing at being a proper adult due to external circumstances and being perfectly capable of adulting and choosing not to because Mommy and Daddy have money that you feel entitled to. Breeders who coddle their brats all their lives have no grounds complaining when those kids expect Moo and Duh to finance their lives in their 30s and 40s because that's what they've been taught is acceptable. Undoing a lifelong dependence - especially one they've come to expect - is damn near impossible.