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My brother should forgive our other brother for cheating because brat!

Posted by ladybug2203 
https://amp.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d27ww9/aita_for_wanting_to_forgive_one_brother_for/

Mods if this is in the wrong category please correct me.

In a nutshell, this man thought he was going to be having a child with his fiance, but found out 6 months into the pregnancy that she was having an affair with his brother, and paternity test revealed that the baby is his brothers, so the brother married his fiance and they raise the brat.

The sister in this family is expecting the cheated on brother to forgive and forget so they can all be a big happy family again for the sake of the brat.

Fuck that noise! Cheater brother and cheater fiance made their bed and can lay in it. And the rest of the family can go fuck themselves for wanting to sweep it under the rug.

Maybe an unpopular opinion but I know all too well what it's like to be unsupported by loved ones when someone hurt you because they care more about what's easiest rather than what's right.

I hope the victimized brother drops this benedict arnold family and finds his own partner, or makes a new famy out of close loyal friends.

I dunno what do y'all think?
This family sucks.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!
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ladybug2203
because they care more about what's easiest rather than what's right.

I hate that in families (and other groups, but it seems to occur mostly in families)...that pressure on the harmed party to "make amends" and "keep the peace" and continually damage themselves to the benefit of the people who harmed them. I'm very curious about all of the psychological underpinnings of it, especially since it seems so common, but I do think part of it stems from "we know we can't bend the asshole to our will, but you're nice, so we'll abuse you into compliance because we can and you won't retaliate." More people need to go no-contact with their families, I swear. The bullshit of "family above everything" only works if your family doesn't have any abusive assholes.
The OP in that story sounds like the worst kind of asshole busybody.

If the grandparents are typical, they will cave.

Many of the commenters are saying "but they (the cheating couple) are mahwied now! And there is a chyld involved!"

Because getting a piece of paper turns whores into saints apparently.
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kittehpeoples
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ladybug2203
because they care more about what's easiest rather than what's right.

I hate that in families (and other groups, but it seems to occur mostly in families)...that pressure on the harmed party to "make amends" and "keep the peace" and continually damage themselves to the benefit of the people who harmed them. I'm very curious about all of the psychological underpinnings of it, especially since it seems so common, but I do think part of it stems from "we know we can't bend the asshole to our will, but you're nice, so we'll abuse you into compliance because we can and you won't retaliate." More people need to go no-contact with their families, I swear. The bullshit of "family above everything" only works if your family doesn't have any abusive assholes.

"Family above everything" my ass! Matt in this story betrayed john (his brother) for some pussy. Karma is a bitch, this "family" will inevitably sing a different tune when Matt throws them under the bus for some "fun," Matt is an opportunist and will do the same thing to them, and they'll have zero sympathy from me.

John deserves better. So yes the OP should continue contact with these assholes, so poor John can cut the cord once and for all and surround himself with supportive friends and hopefully a worthwhile partner someday, with inlaws who will take him under their wing.

The right thing for these grandparents to say to Matt would be "if you wanted us involved in your child's life, you should've bred with someone who wasn't your brothers fiance!"

The kid doesn't "need" these relatives, extended family members aren't necessary to have in order to grow up well, plus kid has his moo's side of the family.

And if Matt was really "sorry," he wouldn't have married the bitch. They're "sorry" for having to suffer consequences. And there's no "statute of limitations" for this kindve betrayal, their shunning should last forever.

John likely has PTSD over this whole episode, there is no cure for ptsd and can last a lifetime, ptsd=brain damage, it causes (often permanent) brain damage. Ptsd is NOT a choice! You can't just flip it off like a light switch to make things less awkward for spineless flying monkey jelly fish who want to take the path of least resistance.
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bell_flower
The OP in that story sounds like the worst kind of asshole busybody.

Yeah. She says they were "such a tight knit family before," but tight knit families don't cheat with their siblings' partners, let alone have kids with them. That is not how "tight knit families" behave. She just thinks it was "tight knit" because it was working for her.

I also hate the claim that the sprog "deserves" a relationship with his grandparents and aunt, so the betrayed brother just needs to act like nothing happened. What about his need to have a family who doesn't support his scumbag cheating brother? Doesn't he deserve that?
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kittehpeoples
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bell_flower
The OP in that story sounds like the worst kind of asshole busybody.

Yeah. She says they were "such a tight knit family before," but tight knit families don't cheat with their siblings' partners, let alone have kids with them. That is not how "tight knit families" behave. She just thinks it was "tight knit" because it was working for her.

I also hate the claim that the sprog "deserves" a relationship with his grandparents and aunt, so the betrayed brother just needs to act like nothing happened. What about his need to have a family who doesn't support his scumbag cheating brother? Doesn't he deserve that?

Exactly, Matt and his bitch wife apparently can't stand the isolation anymore, they have each other, and they have wife's family. John needs his families support more than Matt does, John should not have to suffer a single consequence.

But if they're going to resent him for giving him (the victim) for giving him the support he deserves, John should drop them like a hot potato and live his own life without them. Good riddance.

so I imagine it's extra difficult to leave for John because he works for the family business according to the op, so he would have to find a new job which is not that easy these days due to the crap economy.
I always notice that when women cheat and lie if a brat ends up involved and she is willing to birth it then the "slutshaming" is silenced. If this woman was just into the brother sexually and no kids than the commenters would be all over her with the whore comments, but now there was a marriage and baybee they are a "cute" little famblee and poor John is the evil one. Amazing the way a baybee makes women sudden victims no matter what they do.

The fact that he works in the family business makes it even worse.
Kitteh, maybe this famblee is a little too closely knitted.

Also, the mods there locked the thread because the comments really got vicious. Guess it touched a nerve somewhere.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children
and I defy anyone to prove me wrong:

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet I'll put shoes on my pets.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Entitlement, thy name is mooooooooooooooo

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.
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twocents
Kitteh, maybe this famblee is a little too closely knitted.

I suppose that is the source of the problem, lol!

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cfdavep
Amazing the way a baybee makes women sudden victims no matter what they do.

You're right about all of that. If there was no resulting sprog, everyone would be vilifying the cheaters. But the baby is "an innocent victim" (of nothing, really; lots of people grow up without grandparents or aunts, and that's just the one side of the family like ladybug points out) so all of a sudden victimized brother be damned, everything has to be about the brat.

Breeder society, man. It sucks so hard.
kitteh, mostly.
however, bint fucks guy who everyone warns her against, displays multiple red flags, etc, and for whatever reason (desperate, deluded...baby saves marriage) and is knocked up.
all of a sudden, she's the noble little martyr moo, rescuing her little baabbeee from the rotten male she was cream pied by. society udder rubs, congratulates her on being the heroine. when she's nothing but a low class sow imposing all sort of hell (most likely) on the child. the guy does have visitation rights and if he is a piece of shit, may just use it to abuse kid. moo gets more martyr udder rubs because of this.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children
and I defy anyone to prove me wrong:

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet I'll put shoes on my pets.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Entitlement, thy name is mooooooooooooooo

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.
Breeders always had their own "Cancel Culture" before the internet invented the term cancel culture and people started getting cancelled for whatever reason. You can't criticize a breeder in public and survive
You can bet the cheaters fully expected the brother to forgive them once he heard that it is their baybee, because magic and sunshine and unicorn farts are simultaneous when you sluice. You're allowed to be an outright sociopath as a parunt and everyone has to forgive you because you sluiced. No one is allowed to be upset with you, everyone has to forgive you for any wrongdoing, you no longer owe any debts, everyone owes you free babysitting and shower gifts for at least three showers and all their net disposable income if they are childless so you can pay for daykurr and skool.

Everyone within earshot is obligated to listen to you constantly complaining about "how herd and expinsuv" parunting is and pretend you have refreshing original thoughts and aren't yet another boring breeding lemming. I wonder how many times his brother has reached out to him under the guise of being a better person because of the golden halo he self-imposed on himself for the accomplishment of sluicing. Because baybees are the greater good. bemused eye roll

He needs to change his tune. A great service has been done for him. His ex is a cheating piece of shit and he knows this prior to any permanent damage to his life. It is much better for him to know this now prior to marrying her. One he feels like talking to him again he could thank his brother for helping him dodge a bullet. Once she cheats again and his brother is looking for sympathy he can tell him to keep looking and ask him why he thinks she wouldn't cheat on both of them. Or perhaps his brother will cheat on this wife and end up knocking some other woman up.

Also, he could tell his brother once she cheats and divorces him that he can start attending family events again. Assuming he can stand to look at him and he wants him present. I don't see why he would be under any obligation to talk to his brother again after this event.
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freya
You can bet the cheaters fully expected the brother to forgive them once he heard that it is their baybee, because magic and sunshine and unicorn farts are simultaneous when you sluice. You're allowed to be an outright sociopath as a parunt and everyone has to forgive you because you sluiced. No one is allowed to be upset with you, everyone has to forgive you for any wrongdoing, you no longer owe any debts, everyone owes you free babysitting and shower gifts for at least three showers and all their net disposable income if they are childless so you can pay for daykurr and skool.

Everyone within earshot is obligated to listen to you constantly complaining about "how herd and expinsuv" parunting is and pretend you have refreshing original thoughts and aren't yet another boring breeding lemming. I wonder how many times his brother has reached out to him under the guise of being a better person because of the golden halo he self-imposed on himself for the accomplishment of sluicing. Because baybees are the greater good. bemused eye roll

He needs to change his tune. A great service has been done for him. His ex is a cheating piece of shit and he knows this prior to any permanent damage to his life. It is much better for him to know this now prior to marrying her. One he feels like talking to him again he could thank his brother for helping him dodge a bullet. Once she cheats again and his brother is looking for sympathy he can tell him to keep looking and ask him why he thinks she wouldn't cheat on both of them. Or perhaps his brother will cheat on this wife and end up knocking some other woman up.

Also, he could tell his brother once she cheats and divorces him that he can start attending family events again. Assuming he can stand to look at him and he wants him present. I don't see why he would be under any obligation to talk to his brother again after this event.

Or the sister who wants them all to be a family again watch the cheating wife will f*** the sister's boyfriend or husband
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ladybug2203
Or the sister who wants them all to be a family again watch the cheating wife will f*** the sister's boyfriend or husband

Oh, yeah, I bet she'd change her mind then.
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kittehpeoples
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ladybug2203
Or the sister who wants them all to be a family again watch the cheating wife will f*** the sister's boyfriend or husband

Oh, yeah, I bet she'd change her mind then.
.


People who have the mindset "oh they didn't do anything shitty to me, so they're cool in my book" are double assholes.
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ladybug2203
People who have the mindset "oh they didn't do anything shitty to me, so they're cool in my book" are double assholes.

They're the ones who flip out and tell everyone about it the minute they are wronged. But if anyone else is wronged they couldn't care less.
I hope John moves far far away, cuts off contact, and finds an awesome partner, and his new in laws take him under their wing.
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