Grandma asks if she's an asshole for retiring from grandkid duty
June 04, 2021
More gold from AITA. Grandma has decided that after raising her teen daughter's loaf, she is going to move away retire from secondhand parenting now that her daughter has not only crapped out a second kid two years ago, but is pregnant with another one. Granny sees the writing on the wall and doesn't want to get stuck raising more grandshits.

Of course, the daughter Moo is throwing a fit over this, saying that Granny needs to live nearby because she "may need (her) help." As in sending the sproggen over for a month at a time when Mommy doesn't feel like being a mommy. Typically, being a grandparent is like auditing a class - you get all the good parts (however few they may be) with none of the major responsibility. But more and more, grandparents are actually raising their grandkids because of worthless parents and this woman probably doesn't want to do this shit for another twenty years when she just got done getting her first grandson to adulthood.

And holy christ, this lady became a grandmother at 34. I'm surprised the grandson made it to 18 without producing a great-grandshit given the pattern I see in this family. I wonder if the breeder daughter would have keep on crapping them out if she knew her own mother wasn't going to be doing her job for her "helping" her like before.


My husband and I had our kids young (I was 18 when my daughter was born, 21 when I had my son). My daughter ended up getting pregnant at 16. Even after she moved out and got married, my husband and I were heavily involved in caring for the child. At first because she was young and juggling school alongside being a single mom. Then she finished college, got a great job and her husband has a high paying job as well. They both worked crazy hours and during the time my husband and I should’ve had “us time”, we were basically raising a third child. We took him to school, babysat him in the afternoons. He’d spend at least one month with us during the summer. As a result, we are very close. We don’t resent what we did and enjoyed doing it.

However, now our grandson is 18 and going off to college across the country. My husband has retired and we want to move down South for better weather and relaxation. It’s been the plan for years. We’re working on selling the house and plan to be down there by Christmas.

The issue is, our daughter had a baby-our second grandson-two years ago and is now pregnant again. She quit her job to be a stay-at-home mom with the little one so we haven’t had to do as much with him. We love him and spoil him, but it’s going to be a different relationship. My daughter says we shouldn’t move because she may need our help. I said while her father is retiring from work, I’m retiring from childcare. I want to be the grandmother that sees her grandbabies and spoils them but is not basically raising them. She got offended and said that this is just “what grandmothers do” and I said not all.

My son doesn’t mind that we’re moving, he actually lives in a different state and has no plans of having children. We’ll even be closer to him with the move (not extremely but right now we’re 12 hours away, with our new home, we’d be about 4). It’s my daughter and her husband who are mad at us, especially as I said I was “retiring”. They say I make it sound like caring for my grandson was a chore.

Of course she’s not an asshole for expecting her daughter to raise her own kid. However I’m sure that won’t stop her daughter from trying to convince her that she is.
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