Unmarried SAHM boyfriend won't put her name on house

Moo is just now waking up after 20 years in a relationship. Now she wants what she should have requested as a baseline in the first place prior to sluicing:

• her name on the deed of the house he purchased
• marry man who she has a brat with (actually, she doesn't express wanting this---I'm guessing she inpig first---thought it would be sunshine and roses and didn't think about this until after the fact)

As it stands it appears the boyfriend is very good at getting exactly what he wants: unpaid housekeeper, unpaid daycare, etc. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that there is no life insurance policy to help her in case of his death. I wouldn't be surprised if he has a life insurance policy on her to cover housekeeping, etc. in case she dies.

He did put her name on a second property he purchased but this could have been done just to shut her up. If they separate she will likely get child support only and he will either buy her out of the second property or she will receive a portion when it is sold. It is likely her boyfriend would try to settle out of court and she'd end up with less of a child support check than she is entitled to. If she hires a great attorney (which is a huge if, since she doesn't have income) and is really lucky she may end up with part of a property and a better child support payment. She isn't entitled to any alimony (is this still a thing?) because they aren't married. If they break up her boyfriend is a man who owns a property and a half and likely sees his brat on the weekends only. She is living in or at near poverty, is in her late 30's or older and has very little work history and is starting completely over again with little to nothing. Or worse, her boyfriend has custody of the brat and she has to get a job that pays enough for brat support and to support herself. Or she has to get 2 jobs, which is more realistic.

As the brat is ten, what has stopped her from training or getting a job in the last five plus years? She could have worked a part time minimum wage job and would have been able to save for retirement or to contribute to a down payment on the second property. Does she realize her work history is pretty much nonexistent and she won't have jack for social security? Or maybe she is just lazy and her boyfriend realizes she is living in some fantasy world where she expects to play house all day and not have to work?

My guess is that other women she knows have been telling her this for the last twenty years and she has put her head in the sand like an ostrich until now. She has had twenty years to watch women she knows who think like she does get seriously burned by allowing themselves to be put in such a precarious position to start with.

Boyfriend may be great in all other ways but the info. we have on him shows he has placed his own self interests in much higher priority than hers for 20 years.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/personalfinance/i-am-angry-i-m-an-unmarried-stay-at-home-mother-in-a-20-year-relationship-but-my-boyfriend-won-t-put-my-name-on-the-deed-of-our-house-am-i-unreasonable/ar-AAUTMMb

Why are women so stupid? Of course, if a woman takes a man's financial status into consideration she's labeled a gold digging whore. We just can't win.

nowadays I think these guys know to get sex all they have to do is show up.

these stupid little girls are so fucking desperate.. for what???

o wait, we know this. because they have been brainwashed and lied to their entire life that they are only of use if they are chattel. have a mayun and a fuck trophy.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

There's a subreddit called Female Dating Strategy which has incurred the wrath of incels where they openly tell women to avoid men who won't take them on proper dates, not to date broke losers and to refrain from immediate sex. Sure, they go a bit overboard at times, but they make a lot of sense.

Quote
JoJo
There's a subreddit called Female Dating Strategy which has incurred the wrath of incels where they openly tell women to avoid men who won't take them on proper dates, not to date broke losers and to refrain from immediate sex. Sure, they go a bit overboard at times, but they make a lot of sense.

I love that sub!

The ladies there also look at breakingmom with derision as we do, because that sub is the poster child of relationships and the shitty men they breed with.

Something says we aren't getting the complete story from the moo in the OP. It's only one side.

Here's a thought: could it be the boyfriend knows or suspects the child isn't his? How's the relationship between the moo and the boyfriend day in and day out? Maybe she (as Freya mentioned) is laying around the house watching TV all the time, and he doesn't want to support that any more than he already does?

Even when they are married, women can still be dumb as dirt.

Here's a woman who has been married for 29 years and her husband still hasn't put her name on the house they both live in. She's a dentist and has stood by him through two illnesses and extended unemployment and she makes twice as much money as he does. He's been having strokes and is 65 years old and she recently found out that she does not have a claim to the house if something happens to him.

It's amazing to me the flimsy man-splaining these women will put up with. Note she is parroting what he said to her to the Moneyist, which is, "He's says he's afraid I will divorce him if he puts my name on the house." (And she says she allowed him to put his name only on the house before they got married--fine, but before spitting out THREE KIDS, she should have told him he needed to put her name on it so they would have a place to live if he died.)

He's "afraid" she'll divorce him if he puts the name on the house? Instead of writing someone who cannot fix the situation, she should have said:

Excuse me? I've been supporting your ass and I make twice as much money as you, and I've faithfully deposited my paycheck into our joint account for years. And you've always had access to those funds, which paid the mortgage on this house? No need to be afraid....if you don't put my name on the house, you can COUNT ON my divorcing you. And she should start banking separately if he does not.

Quote
JoJo
There's a subreddit called Female Dating Strategy which has incurred the wrath of incels where they openly tell women to avoid men who won't take them on proper dates, not to date broke losers and to refrain from immediate sex. Sure, they go a bit overboard at times, but they make a lot of sense.

I checked the incel site. They’re mostly laughing at Female Dating Strategy for locking the barn after the horse escaped and expecting success, but there is some wrath about the things that are a bit overboard. The advice is good, but their desired men have already entered committed relationships in their 20s while these women were dating broke losers and having immediate sex. These women will have to wait for those relationships to end and hope no kids were made. No man is worth the nightmare of stepmotherhood.