Spine free "cf" girl caves to husband and has kid

https://old.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/tg3sap/i_have_a_4_month_old_and_hate_every_second_of/

Woman in her 20's I assume was member of reddit/cf until her spouse convinced her to have a kid. They did and she hates every minutes of it, but claims that her maternal instincts kicked in and that is what keeps her from leaving.

I am thinking she is one of those Christian conservative types who had cf thoughts, became horrified by her own thoughts and caved to the spouse and lives in a severely repressed state of mind, maybe from the American south, pressure all around. Now she hates every second of parenthood. All the posters are all over her with support and well wishes

She at least told others never to cave.

yep

I also think once the kid is 18 I'd waltz out the door and leave hubby to deal with whatever is left.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

Frankly I do not believe the woman on Reddit. If you can be pressured to cave once, what's going to stop you from making another bad decision? I've seen a lot of women get out of the baybee stage, forget they had PPD, and give in to pressure to get a matched set or some shit like that.

Worse yet, if her marriage does not survive, and she wants to get married again, her choices are:

1. marry someone with no kids, who will immediately demand that she breed for him. After all, she bred for someone else, did she not? Time to have one of their own so her kid can become a back-of-the-coucher.

2. Marry someone with kids and have the whole blended family nonsense. The divorce rate for people who each bring kids to a marriage is 70%.

Never have the first one if you really don't want them. I've seen too many people have the first one and years down the line they have like, three and are COMPLETELY PERPLEXED how it happened.

If it is real, I think she's making a mistake by being "committed and will do my best to love our baby and make sure she never feels unwanted." Lady your brat is still a loaf and you just got done saying you hate every moment of her existence. That isn't just gonna get any better and believe me, that little girl is going to realize you don't want her when she gets older and can make sense of things. No parent can hide it forever when they truly do not want their kids. If you need fucking therapy and anti-depressants just to deal with your kid being alive, how can you possibly be a good parent to them?

I think it would be better for her to leave, honestly. Fuck her family and anyone who breathes a word of dissent about it - there is no benefit to anyone involved if she sticks around and raises a brat she had under pressure that she never wanted. Duh wanted the kid so badly, let him raise it. The author can get divorced and pay child support and at least not have to be around the kid.

At least she admits it's her fault for agreeing to try to get knocked up on purpose. Better keep the shrink on speed dial for when the kid gets older and realizes Mommy wishes they were never born. Because when a kid learns that one of the people who is supposed to love them no matter what didn't want them, that shit hurts. It hurts if you hear it as an adult. I still remember when I was like eight years old hearing my mother tell one of our relatives something about how the best thing that could ever happen to a woman is not having kids. While I was right there. I didn't need more reasons to hate my mother, but I felt like dirt when I heard that, especially since she wasn't even subtle about it.

I saw this earlier on r/childfree and I was thinking of posting it here! Thanks for saving me the trouble!

Quote
cfdavep
https://old.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/tg3sap/i_have_a_4_month_old_and_hate_every_second_of/

Woman in her 20's I assume was member of reddit/cf until her spouse convinced her to have a kid. They did and she hates every minutes of it, but claims that her maternal instincts kicked in and that is what keeps her from leaving.

All the posters are all over her with support and well wishes

I'm not surprised someone from r/childfree buckled and sluiced and that she's getting accolades from the members. That subreddit is a cesspool of breeders, fence sitters and breeder apologists. Join r/antinatalism or r/actuallychildfree for the truly childfree!

I really hope this child ends up healthy. Every time one or the other parent regrets being a parent it isn't just bad for the parents but also for any of the regretted kids. It is strange that so few people really consider the damage they are doing and how much easier it would be to a unified front that is childfree or to divorce if they aren't on the same page.

And I've seen so many breeders rabidly defend the spouse who changes his/her mind and decides he/she wants brats and that he/she has the right to do that with the undertone that their spouse should agree to sluice because marriage. Or agree to adopt some famblee members brats because the childfree are nearly always the first target for that. And of course, breeders always judge/shame the partner who doesn't change their mind about brats very harshly. Well, that is just spiffy! Maybe they wouldn't feel quite so confident on marriage forever if one spouse develops a gambling fixation that causes the family to be homeless or one spouse decides to change his/her sex. Oh, so being able to change their mind on something that impacts their marriage in a major way is not so clear cut anymore? There are conditions after all as long as they don't involve refusing to breed? Why exactly is that? It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that you're a miserable breeder and the thought of someone else being able to simply opt out of a shithole existence is inexcusable to you?