"CF" girl considering kids for rich boyfriend

https://old.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/tmulmp/my_bf_asked_a_question_that_made_me_reflect_on_my/

She claims her boyfriend is really rich and is always trying to find out why she has an aversion to having kids. Then says he offered the option of a surrogate, plus servants for every unpleasant part of it.

She is considering it now and some of them over there are thinking it may be a good idea, but most were saying that it can affact a kid to know that "Mommy" (said in a British accent) can't be bothered to meet with you until the servant cleans him up.

Someone pointed out that when the rich guy finds a younger hotter woman down the road he may find a way to keep his money from her and she may have to go back to her old finanical life, with unwanted kid in tow after getting used to living on Easy Street

which makes me wonder.. what makes these friggin wanna breeds so damn slavering like a rabid dog after a woman who doesn't want a child??? I think we see more males than female in a role like this...

and the record speaks for itself...if the woman caves then the ogdickwerx vanishes or is scarcely around... who needs it

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

Take away the wealth, would she want them? Hells no. So best to assume the wealth is fleeting at best. If she marries him he'll likely assume she will eventually change her mind and will likely harp on it to the point she is no longer attracted to him. It is highly unlikely he will hire a bunch of servants to deal with a loaf. He may be thinking "she'll love it when it arrives" and start resenting her if she doesn't want anything to do with a loaf.

I think the main reason he is pushing children is because she doesn't want them. I've dated lots of men who decided during the course of our relationship they want brats. Many of my younger friends who wanted brats had the opposite experience. I think younger men just want to see if they can get you to do something you don't want to do, it is a power thing. I used to end relationships if this power thing happened, giving in doesn't satisfy the man. I've seen women give in (to this or other issues) and typically the man loses interest. It is just a matter of time until he has bigger demands that I didn't agree with so it is a fundamental incompatibility issue.

People who stay in relationships hoping the other will magikully change annoy me. They aren't going to change, they are who they are. And what is enjoyable about a relationship where both parties are secretly hoping the other will change? Exhausting at best.

It's just sheer stupidity for a woman to consider this. 50% of marriages end in divorce so despite his promises, she has a one in two chance of being stuck with brat(s). And does she really think a man like this will allow her to use nannies and ignore his spawn?

He'll likely be all over her and fighting with her if she seems uninterested.

LISTEN TO THE WISDOM:

Quote

I think younger men just want to see if they can get you to do something you don't want to do, it is a power thing. I used to end relationships if this power thing happened, giving in doesn't satisfy the man. I've seen women give in (to this or other issues) and typically the man loses interest. It is just a matter of time until he has bigger demands that I didn't agree with so it is a fundamental incompatibility issue.

Hit the nail on the head. The bigger problem here is the insanity of expecting someone to change his/her basic nature FOR YOU. BECAUSE YOU ARE SPECIAL. People who think like this are fucked up in the head.

There are plenty of people in this world who want kids. Why do guys like this get a hard-on for women who do not want kids? Because they want to dominate and control.

Sane people realize it's an issue of compatibility. If someone doesn't want kids or vice versa, they move on without a lot of drama. It's only immature, whiny babies (or worse, control freaks) who pick someone incompatible and harass them to change their mind.

There are sooooo many women out there who actually want to have kids, why would he want to marry someone who doesn't? This is so stupid. I agree with freya, that it's just a power move on his part to see if he can talk her into it.
She needs to leave him. It doesn't matter how much money a person has, it doesn't buy happiness. No amount of money can fix unhappiness. If she doesn't want kids and has them just to appease him, she'll regret her decision every day.

Apparently the op's user name is "ElizabeththeStripper" and someone looked up her post history and referred to her as a "NSFW type". It seems as though the rich guy may have met her at the strip club. She is being ripped in the comments now for considering a kid that she is already planning to be rid of as much as possible.

Last time I checked men do not frequent strip clubs to look at post-flab bodies of pignasty. This convinces me that she would be totally screwed if she becomes inpig.

I would hope as a stripper (or former stripper) that she is able to understand where her power originates over this guy and how quickly it can evaporate. I don't know if she quit her job to be with this guy and that may explain why she feels a bit backed into a corner on the pignasty. I have a bad feeling that she did this.

The moment she gives in she'll be able to count down in months to the time he'll be at the local strip club to look at women who do not have post-flab bodies of pignasty. If she confronts him he'll tell her she sure didn't mind it when she worked at the strip club, so what is her problem now?

Even if she manages to sluice and keeps her body in shape it might not matter to this guy. He may well have a madonna/whore complex and once she sluices he may never find her sexually attractive again. And there is only one way for her to figure this out.

I knew a stripper years ago who made it to being a feature and could pretty much call her own shots, charge thousands per show and pick her nights/venues to work. This stripper would be better off doing something like that or making some kind of exit plan so she doesn't question having brats with every rich manipulative prick who comes along and pretends to be her boyfriend. I don't know the career trajectory for a stripper but since it is looks-based I would guess that by 35 or so most of them are done.